Are you guys hot? I'm hot. Whoo, it's hot. It's like a sauna in here.
August 25, 2009 2:39 PM   Subscribe

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the 2009 World Sauna Championships.
posted by Cool Papa Bell (31 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
They finally found a sport that looks worse on television than poker.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:48 PM on August 25, 2009 [8 favorites]


I did not even know this was an option. Is there also a hot tub championship, and does it involve using coke and having sex?
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:51 PM on August 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


Some of those dudes look like they could kick your ass into next week.

So thirsty now...
posted by futureisunwritten at 2:55 PM on August 25, 2009


I'm sorry, but if years of watching '80s action movies have taught me anything it's that no man can be called "champion of the sauna" without first besting Arnold Schwarzenegger or William L. Petersen in near-naked physical combat.
posted by total warfare frown at 2:56 PM on August 25, 2009


i like this better.
posted by atomicmedia at 2:57 PM on August 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


No! A finn won?! Really?! Well colour me beet red by slapping me with a bunch of birches, what a surprise!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:57 PM on August 25, 2009


226 seconds in a sauna heated to 230°F

Exactly what Alice Waters recommends for corn on the cob.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:58 PM on August 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


226 seconds in a sauna heated to 230°F


So, almost 4 minutes literally boiling? This seems... a bit unwise.
posted by dersins at 3:08 PM on August 25, 2009 [3 favorites]


Win? No sweat.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:08 PM on August 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


I love the hell out of saunas but these guys are nuts.
posted by blucevalo at 3:09 PM on August 25, 2009


Why would you hug him after that?!?
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 3:11 PM on August 25, 2009


I know it probably doesn't make much of a difference at 230°F, but I find it weird that none of these guys bothered to shave their heads. In uncomfortable but non-crazy temperatures at least, a shaved head feels a lot cooler, especially when wet.
posted by burnmp3s at 3:13 PM on August 25, 2009


This is the kind of contest, like that "How much water can you drink" from a few years ago, which is really stupid because people can die.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:18 PM on August 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


a shaved head feels a lot cooler, especially when wet.

You've missed the key strategy, a full head of hair soaked with cold water just before entering the sauna is what makes it all possible.
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:20 PM on August 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


How about driving 4,000 miles in a sauna?
posted by Frank Grimes at 3:21 PM on August 25, 2009


No! A finn won?! Really?! Well colour me beet red by slapping me with a bunch of birches, what a surprise!

A russian lady won the womens competition this year. Huge news.

Also, I can warn everyone here at metafilter that smoking and drinking 5 hours straight in a sauna will give you a nasty hangover. It was like almost worth it though.
posted by uandt at 3:22 PM on August 25, 2009


I once heard you could eat some kind of pepper and then go into an extremely hot sauna and have some kind of great trip...probably urban legend, but I wonder if that would count as using performance enhancing drugs...
posted by Lutoslawski at 3:25 PM on August 25, 2009


I think that I will keep my amateur status...for now.
posted by zerobyproxy at 3:35 PM on August 25, 2009


I can't believe the didn't play we are the champions at the end.
posted by LouieLoco at 3:42 PM on August 25, 2009


I entered a sauna competition once but I didn't make it past the first heat.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:44 PM on August 25, 2009 [10 favorites]


With the post about Fedor and MMA earlier, I was expecting something like the fight scene in Eastern Promises. (no good link)
posted by now i'm piste at 3:50 PM on August 25, 2009


My father in law, a lifelong sauna fan, regularly takes a sauna at 205-210°. I've always wondered if that is going to kill him some day.
posted by bz at 3:56 PM on August 25, 2009


226 seconds in a sauna heated to 230°F

That's what we Floridians call August.
posted by photoslob at 4:03 PM on August 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've been in Saunaseura's 140°C (284°F) sauna. It was bearable for a while, dry heat, as nobody was crazy enough to throw water on the stones.

In this competition, the problem is not just heat, but that they throw water on the stove every 30 seconds and that creates a cascading blast of heat that must be unbearable. You see it on their faces in about 8 seconds past every half minute.
posted by Free word order! at 4:33 PM on August 25, 2009


I am highly disappointed that there are no build-a-sauna competitions. Categories I would like to see:

The MacGuyver: making a sauna out of found materials
The Anachro-sauna: how close to caveman is your sauna?
The Techie: can you cram a computer into your sauna and still have it work? Because I want to read Metafilter while I sweat off the last few beers.


and so on.
posted by Severian at 5:08 PM on August 25, 2009


> They finally found a sport that looks worse on television than poker.

Yet paradoxically, one that would look better with Jennifer Tilly playing it.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:17 PM on August 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


Eponysterical!
posted by dhartung at 6:14 PM on August 25, 2009


Probably a dumb question, but is that dangerous?
posted by empath at 10:50 PM on August 25, 2009


Womens final.
posted by empath at 10:52 PM on August 25, 2009


I assume there's something in this competition that makes it against the rules, or at the least dishonorable, to puke or pass out? Because it was in the US I'm pretty sure that's what it would be all about.
posted by smartyboots at 12:28 AM on August 26, 2009


I really hope Mickey Rourke's next movie is Nordic Heat, a biopic that chronicles the rise of 2009 World Sauna Champion Timo Kaukonen and the heartbreak and despair that follows such an achievement. At least it will have a good soundtrack.
posted by Andy's Gross Wart at 7:50 PM on August 26, 2009


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