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August 27, 2009 1:07 PM   Subscribe

CBS plans to run video advertising Entertainment Weekly.
posted by Pants! (48 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
This reminds me of the misplaced futurism of the 80s, when Coke Machines had little LCD video games embedded in them and Chrysler got the bright idea to make their cars talk.
posted by eschatfische at 1:13 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


The ad should be followed by a very convincing explanatory video about why this isn't the most environmentally reprehensible advertising action of the last decade.
posted by gurple at 1:14 PM on August 27, 2009 [7 favorites]


Could someone please post a youtube video showing your monitor showing that youtube video of someone looking at the magazine playing the ad?
posted by rusty at 1:16 PM on August 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


Wow, that's crap. I actually saw the wired article before, but didn't realize just how crap it could be.
posted by cashman at 1:16 PM on August 27, 2009


eschatfische: " the misplaced futurism of the 80s."

I was thinking the other day how the year 2015 in which Back To The Future II was set would arrive before long... but with no hoverboards to show for it.
posted by Joe Beese at 1:19 PM on August 27, 2009


...and Chrysler got the bright idea to make their cars talk.

I rented one of these, once. It kept telling me "The door is a jar," and I kept yelling at it, "NO, IT'S A DOOR!" but the goddam thing wouldn't listen. Stupid car.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:22 PM on August 27, 2009 [8 favorites]


I think this would be a lot clearer if changed to read. CBS Plans to Run Video Advertising in Entertainment Weekly. When I saw the FPP, my first thought was "plans to? they're a TV channel, they run video advertising every 15 minutes."
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:23 PM on August 27, 2009 [5 favorites]


There has never been a bad idea that somebody in Marketing won't try.
posted by Avenger at 1:23 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


I rented one of these, once. It kept telling me "The door is a jar," and I kept yelling at it, "NO, IT'S A DOOR!" but the goddam thing wouldn't listen. Stupid car.

Man, is this what it's like at a comedians' convention where everyone wants to crack the same joke? That ajar joke never gets old.
posted by GuyZero at 1:26 PM on August 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Clever technology. Loathsome application.
posted by hippybear at 1:26 PM on August 27, 2009


they're a TV channel, they run video advertising every 15 minutes

Haven't watched much TV lately have you? Now they do a couple minutes of programming every 15 minutes, between the ads.
posted by netbros at 1:27 PM on August 27, 2009


Somebody please hack that. SOMEBODY PLEASE HACK THAT!!! Please?
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:27 PM on August 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


I was thinking the other day how the year 2015 in which Back To The Future II was set would arrive before long... but with no hoverboards to show for it.

On the bright side, 2009 was nothing like Freejack
posted by rollick at 1:27 PM on August 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


I was thinking the other day how the year 2015 in which Back To The Future II was set would arrive before long... but with no hoverboards to show for it.

It's okay. They aren't all they're cracked up to be anyway.
posted by The Bellman at 1:29 PM on August 27, 2009


God, I was mortally fucking terrified that printface Charlie Sheen was going to start talking to me. "Hey, tiger. You been watching Two and A Half Men? No? Come on, it's really good. Come on, watch it. I'll let you fuck the fat kid. Come on."
posted by Skot at 1:31 PM on August 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


The ad should be followed by a very convincing explanatory video about why this isn't the most environmentally reprehensible advertising action of the last decade.

Because that honor still goes to the ad-trucks.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:32 PM on August 27, 2009 [5 favorites]


I'm going to buy a few and then wait for the instructions on how to mod them show up. Then I am going to hang them on my wall in little frames and play clips from movies and videos I like in them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:32 PM on August 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


Somebody please hack that.

On it.
posted by 7segment at 1:32 PM on August 27, 2009


I rented one of these, once. It kept telling me "The door is a jar," . . .

Bing! Hey, man, someone stole your batt'ry. I say we go get the motherfucker.
posted by The Bellman at 1:37 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


How sad for EW. It's like an aging employee being asked to train his or her replacement.
posted by brain_drain at 1:42 PM on August 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


So, it's pretty much like a Walkman.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:42 PM on August 27, 2009


Because that honor still goes to the ad-trucks.

I'd argue the disposable LCD screens are worse. Trucks merely burn gas. Throw-away LCD screen consume much, much more precious rare earth elements in their capacitors and other components. Burning oil for no good reason id dumb, but considering how much oil got burned to get a microgram of Ytterbium that's even dumber.
posted by GuyZero at 1:45 PM on August 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


On the bright side, 2009 was nothing like Freejack

maybe not for you, but everytime I hop in my racecar I catch a glimpse of Mick Jagger in the rearview, tailing me.
posted by mannequito at 1:47 PM on August 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


Greeting cards are going to be even more annoying -- "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" and so on. And once they start using this trick to make ads for masturbation fodder, it will be (briefly) fun to remove the ads and sneak them into unexpected places (especially if you can reprogram the sound), but then it will just become very, very tedious as only the dumbest guys continue to hardeehar over it.
posted by pracowity at 1:49 PM on August 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


From the article: The promo itself will be in every copy, but the video portion only in some subscriptions delivered to New York and Los Angeles.

So, essentially, this is them including expensive video screens in a (large) handful of magazines as a last ditch attempt to direct publicity toward their dying medium. You won't be able to buy one on the newsstand for hacking.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:54 PM on August 27, 2009


Greeting cards are going to be even more annoying

Drop by your local greeting card store and look for the ones labeled "Hoops and Yoyo". I would suggest they have actually gotten as annoying as physically possible.
posted by GuyZero at 1:59 PM on August 27, 2009


I rented one of these, once. It kept telling me "The door is a jar," and I kept yelling at it, "NO, IT'S A DOOR!" but the goddam thing wouldn't listen. Stupid car.

Smuckers is about to introduce talking containers that, when you don't replace the lid correctly, will tell you "The jar is a door".

And this could be worse... Entertainment Weekly is a Time Warner publication, so instead of CBS, they could be running ads for their joint venture, The CW.

And this reminds me: CBS is also the provider of in-store video for Pizza Hut as part of its The Hut rebranding. More like Gilligan & the Skipper's Hut, amirite?
posted by wendell at 2:02 PM on August 27, 2009


Hoops and Yoyo! (WARNING: loud, auto-playing sound and animation)
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:03 PM on August 27, 2009


More like SeeBS in Entertainment Weakly.

And I will never forgive Hoops & Yoyo for desecrating the memory of "Holmes and Yoyo"
posted by wendell at 2:15 PM on August 27, 2009


This will save print media.
posted by Kikkoman at 2:16 PM on August 27, 2009


So... YoYo is Grass Valley Greg?
posted by symbioid at 2:17 PM on August 27, 2009


What an age we live in.

"CBS plans to run video-in-print ads in the September issue of Entertainment Weekly."
posted by kirkaracha at 2:23 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


"I got pulled over by a cop while driving on acid. I will put that up against any drunk story you've ever had. You ever drive on acid? Bad idea. We borrowed my dad's car, which is one of those talking cars. It said, "The door is ajar." We pulled over and thought about that for twelve hours."

-Bill Hicks
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:26 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I'm not very good with the "including important words to convey meaning" part of language.
posted by Pants! at 2:26 PM on August 27, 2009


dirtdirt: "From the article: The promo itself will be in every copy, but the video portion only in some subscriptions delivered to New York and Los Angeles.

So, essentially, this is them including expensive video screens in a (large) handful of magazines as a last ditch attempt to direct publicity toward their dying medium. You won't be able to buy one on the newsstand for hacking.
"

Sadly it's working, this has been linked everywhere. Mission accomplished for the PR folks.
posted by aerotive at 2:34 PM on August 27, 2009


Drop by your local greeting card store...

I honestly don't know if we have such a thing here. I suppose I'm just not looking for them.
posted by pracowity at 2:46 PM on August 27, 2009


This reminds me of the misplaced futurism of the 80s, when Coke Machines had little LCD video games embedded in them and Chrysler got the bright idea to make their cars talk.

True story: I lived in a small town in mid-MN back in the early 80s when a gas station a few blocks from school got one of the LCD Coke machine. We took a field trip and walked down the gas station where we watched in awe as the teacher bought a pop and then one of the kids (I don't remember how they were chosen) got to play the game.

I know this sounds like Mayberry U.S.A., but I remember the teacher talking about how this was actually a tiny computer and there would be 'computers everywhere' yadda yadda. She was totally right, in retrospect, but I suspect she was probably just looking for a way to kill a couple of hours with us.
posted by unixrat at 2:54 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


"CBS plans to run video-in-print ads in the September issue of Entertainment Weekly."

Oy. Ostensibly, people are being paid to write this. What, exactly is our children learning‽
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:54 PM on August 27, 2009


CBS plans to run video advertising Entertainment Weekly.

Which is usually better than its lovingly-bestowed initialism, EW, would suggest.
posted by dhartung at 2:57 PM on August 27, 2009


I was all ready to be impressed at the integration of a flexible LCD into a magazine format, and then I caught this "Opening the page activates the player, which is a quarter-inch–thick screen seen through a cutaway between two pages concealing the larger circuit board underneath." which makes this so lame that even the word "lame" doesn't seem sufficient.

Yes. We know that LCD screens can be made small. We all have phones with them. In fact, you know what would have been a million times cooler? Instead of wasting the screen, just have added this video along with a couple of your episodes to a phone friendly MicroSD card and stuck that in the magazine. It would have cost less, done more, and been reusable.
posted by quin at 3:06 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


So this will only run in a small number of subscription copies in NY and LA? Well that's a great move, given how many copies they might have sold to the curious on the newsstand that week.
posted by cmgonzalez at 3:22 PM on August 27, 2009


Totally. I would have bought 3 or 4 newsstand copies just to have the devices in case there was a fun hack to do with them. As it stands, I'll just have exactly as many copies of EW as I normally get, which is ZERO.
posted by hippybear at 3:34 PM on August 27, 2009


I rented one of these, once. It kept telling me "The door is a jar," and I kept yelling at it, "NO, IT'S A DOOR!"

Uncle Larry?
posted by ODiV at 3:36 PM on August 27, 2009


The tagline ("to the MAX") is so appropriate.
posted by gottabefunky at 4:02 PM on August 27, 2009


I READ THINGS TO GET AWAY FROM THIS, DAMMIT
posted by Evilspork at 8:33 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


I rented one of these, once. It kept telling me "The door is a jar," and I kept yelling at it, "NO, IT'S A DOOR!" but the goddam thing wouldn't listen. Stupid car.

I'm pretty sure I remember seeing a Garfield cartoon as a child in the 80's that utilized this joke. Cutting edge, man.
posted by EarBucket at 8:40 PM on August 27, 2009


Uncle Larry?

Shaddup, wipe the mud off yer feet -- you've been on my lawn again, haven't you -- and shut the jar, punk -- you're lettin' all the AC out! If you weren't my brother's kid, why I'd...
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:45 PM on August 27, 2009


rollick: On the bright side, 2009 was nothing like Freejack

Yeah, and 1984 was...er. Never mind.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:31 PM on August 28, 2009


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