Join 3,377 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Extreme Poodle Grooming Craze
August 28, 2009 11:06 AM   Subscribe

People are dying and grooming their poodles to look like panda bears, camels, and bison. Seriously. I apologize for the SL, but this is too weird not to share. Here's another link or two.
posted by k8t (86 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
Are they dying _while_ grooming their poodles? If so: Another reason to rid the world of poodles.
posted by docgonzo at 11:07 AM on August 28, 2009 [8 favorites]


Daily Mail gets another FPP because of goofy people doing stupid things. At least it's not another numbered list from cracked.com
posted by ardgedee at 11:08 AM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


People are dying. In addition, they're grooming their poodles to look like panda bears, camels, and bison.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 11:08 AM on August 28, 2009 [18 favorites]


I've always felt sorry for poodles. They're smart dogs, working dogs. (They're retrievers.) A regulation poodle is disciplined, hard working, good tempered, and a good companion.

And they must have the patience of saints to put up with all the baloney some owners do to them. Is any other dog breed so routinely abused like this?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:11 AM on August 28, 2009 [25 favorites]


I can't decide if this would be weirder with or without an 'e.'
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:11 AM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've been dying to dye a poodle!
posted by Mister_A at 11:11 AM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


The key to a good FPP is to apologize for it right in the text.
posted by DU at 11:11 AM on August 28, 2009 [5 favorites]


I'm dying to dye my poodle to death.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 11:12 AM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


the hell is wrong with people?
posted by Afroblanco at 11:13 AM on August 28, 2009 [7 favorites]


I was actually confused for a full minute there, staring at the link before clicking and realizing what was actually being said. "Wait, are they leaving instructions for this in their will or something?"
posted by cimbrog at 11:13 AM on August 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


Is any other dog breed so routinely abused like this?

Everything bred to fit in a teacup.
posted by GuyZero at 11:14 AM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Why don't you lead with this, I think it's less unclear by half than what you've written:

Elaborate Appurtenances Deployed in Effort to DYING PEOPLE DYE POODLES DIE DYE DIE!!!
posted by Mister_A at 11:14 AM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Could we avoid making fun of those people all the time? It's very racist.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:14 AM on August 28, 2009


Remind me not to post to MetaFilter from my phone again. ;)
posted by k8t at 11:14 AM on August 28, 2009


This seems to be a stunning example of the world gone awry.
posted by ND¢ at 11:15 AM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


As horrifying as some of these are, the PandaPoodle is actually kind of bad-ass.
posted by stifford at 11:15 AM on August 28, 2009


I really like the camel, panda and bison. Cute cute cuuute!!! I wonder what I could groom my cat into besides a cat with less hair. Any suggestions?
posted by shownomercy at 11:16 AM on August 28, 2009


*smacks forehead. You meant people are dyeing their dogs. Not people are dying all over the world of various starvation, wars and stuff and selfish whack jobs are not paying any attention but playing Barbie with their dogs? Now I get it.

ROFL, this is such a violation of those dogs! The panda humiliation one made me bark with laughter.

Cock-a-Poodle-Doo?! Oh Nooo.
posted by nickyskye at 11:16 AM on August 28, 2009


Kind of a double, although yours has different images.
posted by rottytooth at 11:16 AM on August 28, 2009


the PandaPoodle is actually kind of bad-ass.

Except for the broken arms.
posted by DU at 11:16 AM on August 28, 2009


They probably are actually dying, when those who represent taste and sanity chase them into the streets shortly after and lynch their asses.
posted by mannequito at 11:21 AM on August 28, 2009


If people are dying, instead of grooming their poodles they should call ColdChef.
posted by dios at 11:22 AM on August 28, 2009


m r dogs.
m r not dogs.
m r bears and camels.
m r not bears and camels!
o s a r!
u b one dum sumbitch.
posted by gigbutt at 11:23 AM on August 28, 2009


He's in New Orleans, so he's pretty well booked up I should think, dios.
posted by Mister_A at 11:23 AM on August 28, 2009


The ones with human hair extensions are totally cheating.

I wonder what I could groom my cat into besides a cat with less hair. Any suggestions?

You have a death wish?
posted by jamaro at 11:27 AM on August 28, 2009


The poodle pony looks as if he's wracking his brain to figure out how he ended up in such a situation.

The bison is fantastic.
posted by Heretic at 11:28 AM on August 28, 2009


Let's talk cockney!

G'day, mate!
posted by Mister_A at 11:28 AM on August 28, 2009


Yeah, the panda poodle looked pretty awesome. The pirate and pony poodles weren't too bad either. The chicken and peacock poodles were ridiculous and the camel and buffalo poodles kind of scare the shit out of me. I hope the football player poodle gets a job with the Steelers.
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:28 AM on August 28, 2009


Single link delivers wtflulz, contemptible response averted.
posted by The Straightener at 11:28 AM on August 28, 2009


wow. humanity never ceases to amaze me. this reminds of something i once posted about the bizzarro things people do with their dead pets - mummification, knit them into sweaters, etc...

To each his own I guess. Everyone needs a hobby.

Now excuse me while I go put on my furry costume.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:29 AM on August 28, 2009


I'm disappointed that I knew all I had to do was google search:

"NINJA TURTLE POODLE" to find that lady's gallery of atrocities.



anybody remember Popples?
posted by Hammond Rye at 11:29 AM on August 28, 2009


Dyeing is easy. Comedy is hard.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:29 AM on August 28, 2009


The poodle bites.

C'mon, Frenchie!
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:30 AM on August 28, 2009 [6 favorites]


No-no-no-no-no-no-no
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:31 AM on August 28, 2009


Somewhere in history, there's an extravagant, over indulgent monarch, who's crying because his court didn't have these dogs prancing around in it.
posted by Atreides at 11:32 AM on August 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Those people should die. Or be dyed. Or at least severely reprimanded. Those poor dogs!
posted by trip and a half at 11:33 AM on August 28, 2009


If those poodles had opposable thumbs, their owners would be the ones doing the dying.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 11:33 AM on August 28, 2009


If I was a dog and had this done to be I'd bite my owner so I could be put down.....
posted by Mastercheddaar at 11:34 AM on August 28, 2009


While some of these are grotesque and disturbing (I'm looking at you, fairy-poodle and peacock-poodle), I can't help but think of how AWESOME it would be to walk down the street with a miniature buffalo. And then the utter disappointment when you have to tell people that it's actually just a poodle.
posted by specialagentwebb at 11:38 AM on August 28, 2009 [6 favorites]


Suppressed-LOL snorts: broughten.
posted by everichon at 11:38 AM on August 28, 2009


We're doomed.
posted by gallois at 11:38 AM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Just waiting for the Poodles of People at Walmart link to surface.
posted by cashman at 11:39 AM on August 28, 2009


I thought this was a line from a newly-discovered song by Crass.

"People are dying! And you're grooming poodles! You posh bourgeois git!"

*squelch of feedback*
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:40 AM on August 28, 2009 [8 favorites]


I can't decide whether these people are so comfortable with or so terrified by their own mortality that they consider this a reasonable way to spend their time on earth. It's either a wonderful example of humans laughing at the pointlessness of existence or a pathetic distraction from the inevitable.

Oh, the Jack Sparrow one is sooooo cute!
posted by Sova at 11:45 AM on August 28, 2009


That flower/snail poodle is begging for death.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 11:48 AM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


If you give a shih tzu a puppy cut and a hooded cape, people will mistake it for an Ewok.
posted by milkrate at 11:48 AM on August 28, 2009


I want to see a Totoro poodle. Any poodle-dyers reading this, could you please get on that? TIA.
posted by everichon at 11:49 AM on August 28, 2009


C'mon, Frenchie!

Nothing but the best for my dog!
posted by Pollomacho at 11:49 AM on August 28, 2009


This deserves dredging up right about now.
posted by scratch at 11:56 AM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Now this dog looks bad ass.
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:58 AM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


The wounded marine one is weird. I'd like to honor our troops by dressing up my dog like a wounded soldier? Still the bison and the football player were cute.
posted by bluefly at 12:01 PM on August 28, 2009


Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo no wait poodle.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:04 PM on August 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


FUCK OFF POODLES!!!
posted by chugg at 12:08 PM on August 28, 2009


I was awed by the Dragon Poodle until I saw its sad, sad eyes.
posted by Lush at 12:10 PM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Why are all but one of the comments on the Daily Mail page from the USA? Please don't tell me Fox viewers are now soaking up the DM....
posted by NailsTheCat at 12:11 PM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Winking poodle
posted by inconsequentialist at 12:16 PM on August 28, 2009


Standard poodles are good dogs. They don't deserve this bullshittery.
posted by jquinby at 12:30 PM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


'The dogs seem to love the whole experience,' added Mr Netherland. 'One of the reasons I love my job is because I love animals so much. I much prefer working with them than people.

'By the time the dogs get to me after they have been through the tournament they are bounding around and very happy.

'I think all the attention that gets bestowed upon them through the whole process must be nice for them.' 


you can colour me skeptical.
posted by empath at 12:55 PM on August 28, 2009


Those act as flippers.
posted by brevator at 12:57 PM on August 28, 2009


Some dogs like being groomed. Other dogs dislike being groomed. Still other dogs don't really give a shit one way or another. Assuming these dogs all fall into the first or last groups, I don't have a problem with this.

Though I still think people who dress their dogs up in totally unnecessary clothing are dumb.

I've been pondering the disconnect between those two opinions, and have yet to figure out why I think one of those things is okay and the other one is not.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:02 PM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


When I was a kid, my parents bought a sweater for our dog (we lived in Wisconsin) and it was pretty funny looking. That didn't have anything on this humiliation.
posted by SpacemanStix at 1:03 PM on August 28, 2009


This is fantastic.
posted by whoaali at 1:25 PM on August 28, 2009


JUST WAIT TIL WE GET OPPOSABLE THUMBS. PAYBACK IS OURS. -THE POODLES
posted by NikitaNikita at 1:51 PM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


If you give a shih tzu a puppy cut and a hooded cape, people will mistake it for an Ewok.

That's only if you're someone who gives a shih tzu.
posted by Floydd at 2:06 PM on August 28, 2009


See, here's the difference between cats and dogs. The poodles just look depressed. But what are they going to do about it, maybe go piss on the sofa? On the other hand, look at that cat in the left corner... It's pissed as hell and it's just wearing a party hat. There's going to be hell to pay for that one. You dye HER purple, the last thing you'll ever see as you leave this plane of existence is pussy sitting on your chest, watching the life drain out of your eyes, letting you know that she's responsible and all your crap belongs to her now.

That's why I like cats.
posted by Mcable at 2:06 PM on August 28, 2009 [11 favorites]


Idunno, something about these pictures is just grotesque and hard to look at in ways that I cannot really explain. Kinda like those toddler girls that are all done up to look like adult women for those child beauty pageants. Something very uncanny valley about the whole thing.
posted by Afroblanco at 2:12 PM on August 28, 2009


.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:20 PM on August 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


In Boulder Colorado you could face up to a $1,000 fine for dying your poodle.
posted by gruchall at 2:20 PM on August 28, 2009


I'm confused by all you defending the dignity of these dogs. You can train them to do anything for a scrap of cheese, you are supposed to shout at them when they do what they want to do and not what you want them to do, you feed them revolting third-class meat and meal, their reason for living is sycophancy, not autonomy.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:31 PM on August 28, 2009


New from Troma

Zombie Poodle Fanciers.
posted by edgeways at 2:50 PM on August 28, 2009


The buffalo one is amazing, though I have no idea what's going on with its face. And as much as I love that one, the rest go on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Particularly the fairies. My god I hate fairies.
posted by Tequila Mockingbird at 2:53 PM on August 28, 2009


It is a scientific fact that fairies put the dew on the flowers and the twinkle in the stars. Are you saying you hate dew and stars? Throw bottles at any rainbows lately?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:20 PM on August 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ceci ne pas un caniche.
posted by rabbitsnake at 3:24 PM on August 28, 2009


I think that I would be fairly comfortable with the people responsible for this phenomenon being burnt at the stake. Now, mind you, I do believe that would be an excessively harsh punishment for this behaviour

. . . but I don't think I would actually object.
posted by Zetetics at 3:31 PM on August 28, 2009


It's terrible. But. But I love it! I better never get a poodle :(
posted by Salamandrous at 3:45 PM on August 28, 2009


These are like the far right, fundie nut job wack-a-doodles of Poodle owners. Pity the poor poodle devotee who keeps proclaiming the superior intelligence of the breed only to be smacked in the face with transvestite showgirl poodles of Vegas. Not looking so smart now, are they?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:52 PM on August 28, 2009


You can see in each poodles eyes exactly what it is thinking: Kill me now.
posted by bwg at 4:49 PM on August 28, 2009


This is wrong, bad and ridiculous.



But damn if I don't want to go get me a poodle and try it.
posted by Jimbob at 5:14 PM on August 28, 2009


jacquilynne Some dogs like being groomed. Other dogs dislike being groomed. Still other dogs don't really give a shit one way or another. Assuming these dogs all fall into the first or last groups, I don't have a problem with this.

I love dogs a lot more than most people, and I'm OK with this too. There is a hell of a lot that a dog owner cares about that their dog honestly, really, doesn't give a damn about. Like the mutual relevance of paws, dirt, and carpet. (On the other hand dogs care about a lot of stuff that people don't, which can cause a lot of problems if you're not aware of it.)

Whether the dog cares what colour the dog's fur is, is an interesting question. They have very poor (but non-zero) colour vision. They see dark/light shades, so a dark dog may be momentarily disturbed to find his paws light, or vice-versa. On the other hand I've known light-coloured dogs to bound happily through the mud. They do groom themselves a bit, but in nature (or in the case of dogs who aren't washed by owners), activity and fur shedding normally gets rid of mud etc.

If the dog (or another dog who knows the dyed dog) objects, chances are it's due to the smell of the dye. But I somehow doubt the people who do this kind of thing would be keen on cowpat-smelling dog dye.

Though I still think people who dress their dogs up in totally unnecessary clothing are dumb. I've been pondering the disconnect between those two opinions, and have yet to figure out why I think one of those things is okay and the other one is not.

Fur. Covering the fur makes the dog hot and uncomfortable, unless it's cold out. Colouring the fur doesn't do much for its heat, assuming it doesn't make the fur stick together or smell of nasty chemicals.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 5:14 PM on August 28, 2009


You can see in each poodles eyes exactly what it is thinking:

Suuuure, lights, cameras, milk bones, play it cool man, just roll with it....

it'll all be worth it when that bastard slips his bare feet into those slippers.
posted by swell at 6:58 PM on August 28, 2009


The first thing I thought of was that people were having their pets groomed and then dying with them so that they would be eternal funerary companions. Similar to killing people to accompany the spirit of a dead leader kind of thing. Another thought, which was wrong, was that the grooming was for spirit guide purposes. Obviously, I am not drinking enough coffee and watching too many archaeology videos.
posted by jadepearl at 7:06 PM on August 28, 2009


This makes the poodles happy for reasons you can barely begin to understand. Don't ask me how I know.
posted by vapidave at 1:22 AM on August 29, 2009


Peacock. Fail.
posted by Muirwylde at 1:27 AM on August 29, 2009


I wave my opposable thumbs at my Labrador and laugh maniacally all the time. I think I should stop that.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:19 AM on August 29, 2009


In Boulder Colorado you could face up to a $1,000 fine for dying your poodle.

Oh, good grief. I am a Primary Care-Giver, a Senior Team-Leader and a Pet Guardian. Excuse me while I repeatedly interface my natural cranial protection encasement with my work facilitation surface.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:31 AM on August 29, 2009


My husband thought this one was a Subway sandwich.
(He's hungry.)
posted by sively at 3:01 PM on August 30, 2009


« Older August Wind...  |  Ornate Letter Directory... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments