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Whose leg do I have to hump to get a martini around here?
November 2, 2009 5:06 AM   Subscribe

"You're not allowed to have vodka...sorry, no vodka for Ewoks." Two purportedly drunk actors spoil enliven Today Show segment.
posted by Christ, what an asshole (49 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
Who knew humping Al Roker's leg could be a career move?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 5:20 AM on November 2, 2009


If I were the actor in the costume, drunk or no, being treated and talked to like a dog would only egg me on. Total professionals, though, to maintain ewok character for so long.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:22 AM on November 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


The fighty, randy, poppin'-'n'-lockin' ewok deserves his own Christmas special.
posted by Ritchie at 5:26 AM on November 2, 2009 [4 favorites]


Jesus. Al Roker looks GREAT as Han Solo. I couldn't even concentrate on the Ewoks.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:30 AM on November 2, 2009


MetaFilter: Jesus, Al Roker looks great.
posted by jbickers at 5:33 AM on November 2, 2009


So that's what the Endor moonwalk looks like.
posted by Atreides at 5:38 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Today is broadcast live and with no delay?
posted by DU at 5:42 AM on November 2, 2009


I wasn't buying that it was legit, what with the audio overlay of ewok speech and all, but at the point where the Ewok starts humping the floor right after moonwalking, it won me over. I LOL'd
posted by effugas at 5:45 AM on November 2, 2009


That special was just filled with Halloween magic. And by Halloween magic I mean awkward drunken shenanigans. I, too, LOL'd.
posted by mmmbacon at 5:47 AM on November 2, 2009


I thought Zombie was being cute, but honestly, Al Roker looks great as Han Solo. That was riveting.

Also, ewoks.
posted by cavalier at 5:58 AM on November 2, 2009


Al Roker looks GREAT as Han Solo.

I thought he looked like Anton Chigurh.
posted by carter at 6:18 AM on November 2, 2009 [11 favorites]


This will most certainly end up on The Soup.
posted by GavinR at 6:18 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Today is broadcast live and with no delay?

You thought only Bug Jack Barron did that, right?
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:26 AM on November 2, 2009


That was excellent. Thanks for posting it!
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:33 AM on November 2, 2009


Al Roker looks GREAT as Han Solo.

He's got a Bollywood-Star-Wars-vibe going on. It's got to be that wig. It's like a Beatles wig, but with some South Asian panache.
posted by chambers at 6:34 AM on November 2, 2009


God help me, Ann Curry looks so freaking hot as Lady Vader.
posted by Ber at 6:49 AM on November 2, 2009 [6 favorites]


This could only be topped by having the two Ewoks beating the crap out of someone in a Jar-Jar Binks costume. Still, you can't have it all.
posted by ob at 7:03 AM on November 2, 2009


Fucking Ewoks, man. It's always fucking Ewoks.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:11 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm trying to figure out the plan for this segment on the Today show.

Halloween theme? Star Wars.
Inane costume for Roker? Han Solo.
Pretty lady in revealing costume? Star Wars Elvira.
Inane chatter? Written.

So they're all set for 5 minutes of fake news. Then the executive producer comes downstairs and says "it's good, but take it up a level. Add two little people in Ewok costumes. Have them bounce around while everyone else is talking. It'll be awesome." Which it turned out to be, but I think the leg humping probably wasn't in the outline.
posted by Nelson at 7:19 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hoda was Yoda, right?
posted by fixedgear at 7:23 AM on November 2, 2009


Ha! I happened to catch a few minutes of this live, but then changed the channel. I saw the ewoks before all the shenanigans went on and thought, "OMG, I hate ewoks!" and I changed the channel...

Then, I was watching this morning's Today show and they were talking about the show on Friday. Again, I only paid half-attention, but I caught the ewoks out of the corner of my eye.

Finally, I log into Metafilter and see this post, and I'm like, "how did I miss this twice???" OMG, this is hilarious!

I agree it was rather demeaning of the lady to treat the ewoks like dogs. It's not really a considerate thing to say to a dwarf. Nonetheless, the ewoks were acting up before she referred to them as dogs, and given that they were dressed as furry creatures who were acting like animals (fighting with each other, acting over-excited), I think she just made a bad judgment call with the best intentions.
posted by PigAlien at 7:28 AM on November 2, 2009


The ewok humping Roker Solo's leg is really the zenith of the Star Wars franchise.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:39 AM on November 2, 2009 [7 favorites]


Man, Kool Keith has really let himself go.
posted by electroboy at 7:42 AM on November 2, 2009


That's no moonwalk...
posted by echo target at 7:46 AM on November 2, 2009 [18 favorites]


The ewok humping Roker Solo's leg is really the zenith of the Star Wars franchise.

Somebody hasn't seen the Christmas Special!

(No, there's no link. I have nothing against you and will therefore not link it.)
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:57 AM on November 2, 2009


Wow, if you filter past the hilarious, drunken, mischievous Ewoks, and the funny themed costumes, you get a glimpse of a truly vapid and terrible program underneath.
posted by paisley henosis at 8:09 AM on November 2, 2009


Today is broadcast live and with no delay?

Yes. Yes, it is. Which can really be fun sometimes.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:12 AM on November 2, 2009


Being unfamiliar with Ewok anatomy, I always just assumed their genitals were larger.
posted by archibald barisol at 8:13 AM on November 2, 2009


that was so boring I didn't even make it to the leghumping part someone else mentioned.
posted by krautland at 8:13 AM on November 2, 2009


Today is broadcast live and with no delay?

Yes. Yes, it is. Which can really be fun sometimes.


Like squicking out Roker.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:14 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


It seems to me that if the Today Show really didn't approve of what the drunk Ewoks were doing then it wouldn't have given them so much camera time. Anne Curry did look genuinely pissed off though.
posted by banishedimmortal at 9:03 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


See? Ewoks make everything better.
posted by jabberjaw at 9:30 AM on November 2, 2009


Wow, I hadn't seen Roker since before the gastric bypass surgery.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:36 AM on November 2, 2009


Curry was definitely a little peeved, but this was all planned theatre. The way things work, I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't drunk and the story is plant by MSNBC.

Today is broadcast live and with no delay?

I'm sure there's a delay, but why would they cut this? This is what's called a "viral hit," man. It's what they wanted. I want my 3 minutes back.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:40 AM on November 2, 2009


This segment producer should get a raise, a promotion, and an extra consonant from Hoda.
posted by incessant at 10:42 AM on November 2, 2009


> So that's what the Endor moonwalk looks like.


Well, Endor is a moon, so a moonwalk should look pretty much like a regular walk. Only it's on Endor.

Now excuse me whilst I put on my robe and wizard hat...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:51 AM on November 2, 2009 [3 favorites]


I watched two episodes of Al Roker Reporting this weekend. It's like The Wire for people who have never, ever left their houses.
posted by hifiparasol at 11:49 AM on November 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Someone get these two guys their own show, immediately.
posted by Ouisch at 1:04 PM on November 2, 2009


I, too, was bothered by how the others were speaking to the Ewoks. Either you talk to them out of character, in which case you should talk to them as unprofessional but still human adults, or you talk to them in character, in which case you should speak to them as proud warriors whose furriness has nothing to do with their intelligence.
posted by jb at 1:08 PM on November 2, 2009 [5 favorites]


That is freakin' sweet.
posted by swilson at 1:38 PM on November 2, 2009


paisley henosis: Wow, if you filter past the hilarious, drunken, mischievous Ewoks, and the funny themed costumes, you get a glimpse of a truly vapid and terrible program underneath.

I think you've got it backwards - those Ewoks made the normally vapid and terrible program momentarily worth watching.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:15 PM on November 2, 2009


If Al Roker lives on Endor you must acquit!

*head explodes*
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:22 PM on November 2, 2009


I wish I could afford to pay an Ewok entourage. My life would be incredible.
posted by autoclavicle at 8:46 PM on November 2, 2009


"Even an ewok can do it"?

I haven't seen such overt racism anywhere in the Empire outside of redneck backwaters like Tattooine... the kind of place where you'd expect a bunch of blonde-haired, blue-eyed, angry, ignorant, inbred slave-owning "masters" to grow up. The mass murdering type.

"You're not allowed to have vodka...sorry, no vodka for Ewoks."

They "don't serve those kinds in here", apparently.

Apparently Uncle Tom Al Roker is too busy serving his rich, white masters to take a stand against overt racism when he sees it.

Star Wars is all about arrogant, elitist white "masters" transparently manipulating the sectarian differences and beliefs of minorities in order to use them as cannon fodder against each other... with the goal of driving out the black man. It's just plain racist.
posted by markkraft at 11:06 PM on November 2, 2009


Oh... and Jedi manipulation of midi-chlorians to create the perfect person?! Eugenics.
posted by markkraft at 11:14 PM on November 2, 2009


What did the blue milk in Star Wars mean?
posted by electroboy at 10:06 AM on November 3, 2009


I thought Ewoks were supposed to be some kind of proto-hominids that were encountered early on in their evolutionary cycle.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:12 AM on November 3, 2009


The phrase "evolutionary cycle" is incoherent.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:01 PM on November 3, 2009


So is your mom.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:21 PM on November 3, 2009


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