Greater Manchester Police posting 24 hours of incidents to Twitter

October 14, 2010 4:49 AM

Greater Manchester Police are posting every single incident they deal with over a 24-hour period to Twitter. Due to the high volume of incidents, they're posting them over three different Twitter accounts: one two three.

My favourite so far is call no. 384:

report of man holding baby over bridge - police immediately attended and it was man carrying dog that doesn't like bridges

posted by chorltonmeateater (31 comments total)

Me as a Manchester cop back in the late '70s/early '80s:

noise complaint @Hacienda - will report back after this awesome fucking set #tonynelsonrules
posted by NoMich at 4:57 AM on October 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

call 1467 - Is it Gene Hunt? Is he kicking in a nonce?
posted by Ahab at 5:08 AM on October 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

#gmp24 Call 577 duplicated log

Hello, is that the police? I've been down to the woods and I think there's a glitch in the Matrix.
posted by permafrost at 5:13 AM on October 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Call 686 man shouts 'you're gorgeous' to woman #gmp24
How is this a crime?
posted by dprs75 at 5:33 AM on October 14, 2010

How is this a crime?
It's not (I would have thought). That doesn't mean someone can't try and report it as such.
posted by chorltonmeateater at 5:36 AM on October 14, 2010

How is this a crime?

Sexual harassment?
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:38 AM on October 14, 2010

call 1079 Woman reports her horse refuses to come back over bridge
posted by banishedimmortal at 5:39 AM on October 14, 2010

You appear to have omitted the gmp24_0 account.
posted by public at 5:46 AM on October 14, 2010 [11 favorites]

Surprising (or not?) number of "abandoned 999 call - found to be child playing with phone" calls.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:48 AM on October 14, 2010

You appear to have omitted the gmp24_0 account.

Heh, that's actually really good.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:51 AM on October 14, 2010

This is what lists were invented for. And:

Call 029 - Suspected photography in city centre. Dispatched anti-terror squad. #gmp24

And an important-looking GM policeman comments.
posted by Harry at 5:52 AM on October 14, 2010

That gmp24_0 is great.

Call 020 - Football team in Stockport "wuz robbed" on Saturday.
posted by like_neon at 5:58 AM on October 14, 2010

gmp24_0 is awesome!

Call 015 - Report of man shooting a Welshman facing away from York on a Sunday. Can anyone remember if that's still allowed?
posted by biscotti at 6:07 AM on October 14, 2010

But have they found the swan?

(I know, Manchester is a big city. There's no wrong time for a Hot Fuzz reference.)
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 6:19 AM on October 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

gmp24_0 is gold

Call 034 - Gallagher brothers approached on suspicion of stealing the Beatles' back catalogue. #gmp24

Call 028 - Caller: "Help, I'm being mugged shut up give me the phone now now give me it sorry officer wrong number". No action taken. #gmp24

Call 026 - Suspected cannabis turned out to be parsley. Suspect "livid". #gmp24
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:25 AM on October 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Call 119- Man threatens to jump from roop. Rap Patrol Dispatched.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:39 AM on October 14, 2010

gmp24_0:

Call 029 - Suspected photography in city centre. Dispatched anti-terror squad.

It's funny because it's true....
posted by Infinite Jest at 6:48 AM on October 14, 2010

And another parody.
posted by Happy Dave at 7:03 AM on October 14, 2010

call 1337 report of clamped car in Bury #gmp24

Huh?
posted by kiltedtaco at 7:24 AM on October 14, 2010

call 1069 bag of sand obstructing traffic in Oldham #gmp24

call 1068 bag stolen in street in Oldham #gmp24

Was it the same bag?
posted by Ghidorah at 7:29 AM on October 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

gmp24_7 isn't as funny as _0, but this made me laugh:

Call 56 Complaint that "its not like the old days"
posted by EndsOfInvention at 7:29 AM on October 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

call 1337 report of clamped car in Bury #gmp24 - Huh?

Presumably clamped by a private company and the irate owner rang the police to complain.
posted by ninebelow at 7:41 AM on October 14, 2010

Surprising (or not?) number of "abandoned 999 call - found to be child playing with phone" calls.

God, we had one of those (911) to the house when my son was about 18 months. He'd get ahold of the phone, his eyebrows would go up, which was his look of intense interest and concentration, and he'd mash away with his thumbs. The cop at the door was pretty cool about it.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:53 AM on October 14, 2010

Manchester Mefites, this could be your big moment to be famous, and have something said about you on the internet!

May I suggest streaking?
posted by quin at 7:56 AM on October 14, 2010

I miss the campus police blotter in the UWO Gazette, which was invariably filled with items like:

9:30 AM: Physical altercation in gym over use of stairmaster.
12:00 PM: Physical altercation in lunch counter line at The Spoke.
3:00 PM: Physical altercation in gym over use of free weights.
11:00 PM: Dead sheep discovered on frat house doorstep (I am not making this up)
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:00 AM on October 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Dustbin knocked over by hooligans."
posted by entropicamericana at 8:27 AM on October 14, 2010

It lacks the smug whimsy of the Arcata Eye Police Log.

7:38 p.m. The dog and pony show at 30th Street and Alliance Road consisted of a dog, a man in brown and green shorts standing in for the pony and a brief spasm of violence. Perhaps driven into a primal rage by the human’s hideously-hued half-pants, the pooch snapped and arfed at him. The man, in turn, kicked at the dog, critiquing its character with all manner of hastily-selected adjectives delivered at top volume. Located with tooth marks in his exposed leg flesh, the man didn’t wanna do nuthin’ about it. But police nonetheless captured the trouser-terrorized dog and took it to the shelter for quarantine.
posted by elsietheeel at 9:18 AM on October 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Call 686 man shouts 'you're gorgeous' to woman #gmp24
How is this a crime?

Possibly it could be considered an offence under section 5 of the Public Order Act - using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby. Chances are though that the police would simply have words with the man rather than take it any further. (I can't imagine them cautioning him and I certainly can't imagine it passing the public interest necessary to prosecute in court). So as chorltonmeateater said, the police at least have to respond to it.
posted by greycap at 12:25 PM on October 14, 2010

From the gmp24_0 account:

Call 019 - Officer down in RTA near Mancunian Way. Is he mad, in a coma, or back in time?

Fecking brilliant!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:00 PM on October 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Call 686 man shouts 'you're gorgeous' to woman #gmp24
How is this a crime?

Maybe it isn't - they're tweeting every call they receive, not just ones that they consider crimes, or significant. Quite a few of them clearly shouldn't have been made - they are trivial, or jokes. I've actually found it really interesting to see the sort of things that the police actually deal with. All parody aside, I think this was a good experiment.
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:13 AM on October 15, 2010

Meanwhile, my mom retweeted this from the police department of her small Vermont town: 1105: Mysterious: flower boxes appeared sometime in the night on Central Street
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:04 PM on October 18, 2010