Duke Nukem Forever ship date announced

January 21, 2011 7:00 PM

2K Games and Gearbox Software have announced that Duke Nukem Forever will ship simultaneously for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and Windows PCs on May 3. (previously)
posted by Joe Beese (50 comments total)

May 3 of what year?! What year?!
posted by geoff. at 7:04 PM on January 21, 2011 [23 favorites]

I'll believe it when I see it on the web on the shelves play it.

...all the way through.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:06 PM on January 21, 2011

Wait a minute. I bought Olberman quitting unexpectedly, but Duke Nukem Forever coming out? Now I know the internet is playing some kind of joke on me.
posted by ND¢ at 7:07 PM on January 21, 2011 [2 favorites]

Previously, the unveiling at PAX.
posted by Gator at 7:08 PM on January 21, 2011

If only Jerry Lewis could release The Day The Clown Cried on the same date.
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:10 PM on January 21, 2011 [5 favorites]

The G.L.O.P.P. is a lie!
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:10 PM on January 21, 2011

I'll believe it when I play it all... the way through.

They laughed at me the last time too.

But I showed them...

I showed them all!
posted by Joe Beese at 7:12 PM on January 21, 2011

Hey, I think I spotted Eccentrica Gallumbits in that trailer.
posted by Gator at 7:13 PM on January 21, 2011

Slash000 is a patient man.
posted by empath at 7:13 PM on January 21, 2011

Balls of steel.
posted by tapesonthefloor at 7:13 PM on January 21, 2011 [1 favorite]

i know that all signs point to this actually, really happening - but if you pay for pre-order of duke nukem forever there are some nigerian princes who would like to arrange a wire transfer with you.
posted by nadawi at 7:14 PM on January 21, 2011

Things that have taken less time than Duke Nukem Forever's Development:

All three Star Wars prequels.

The entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, with extended editions.

Every Pixar movie aside from Toy Story.

Five James Bond films, including a complete reboot of the series.

Every movie, animation, and video game from The Matrix series.

Every Marvel comics movie released.

Each predictable twist ending of every movie by M. Night Shyamalan.

In the same vein, the DVD format was finalzed and the DVD forum agreed on the HD-DVD format.

The entire Harry Potter series as well as five movies.

Britney Spears' entire musical career as a pop star has taken place during Duke Nukem Forever's development.

The Beatles formed, released every single one of their albums and broke up. During this time they also toured the world several times.

Led Zeppelin released 7 albums, 9 singles, and toured around the world, crossing international borders 27 times (not counting mainland Europe.)

Calvin and Hobbes started in syndication, over the years became widely considered as the best comic strip ever made, then was ended by its creator.

The Wright brothers designed and flew the first airplane.

The theory of General Relativity.

The United States' entire program to put a man on the moon, from Kennedy's challenge to the landing.

The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan (the largest nuclear-powered aircraft carrier in the world) was in contract, built, launched, comissioned, and began active duty.

The complete construction of many monumental buildings and engineering projects. To name a few-

The Empire State Building (Jan 1930 - May 1931)
The Channel Tunnel (Dec 1987 - May 1994)
The Golden Gate Bridge (Jan 1933 - May 1937)
The World Trade Center (Aug 1966 - April 1973)
The digging of the Suez Canal (by hand) took 11 years, from December 1858 to November 1869.
The building of the Titanic took 3 years, from March 1909 to March 1912.
The Hoover Dam was built in 5 years (1931-1936), although it took 9 years on top of that (starting in 1922) for the paperwork.
The tallest structure on Earth, the Burj Dubai, was built in 5 years (2004-2009, technically they're still doing the finishing work).

The American War for Independence

The United States Civil War

World War I

The United State's involvement in the Vietnam War.

World War II and the entire Manhattan Project. Yes, even the complete development of the atomic bomb took less time.

posted by Rhaomi at 7:16 PM on January 21, 2011 [61 favorites]

Man, I'm going to have to find another vaporware title to taunt our developers with now. Can't wait to play it though, the trailer is exactly what I look for in a Duke title: stupid fun with a heaping layer of extra stupid, hold the sanity please.
posted by Skorgu at 7:19 PM on January 21, 2011

Man, I'm going to have to find another vaporware title to taunt our developers with now.

Half Life 2: Episode 3.
posted by empath at 7:19 PM on January 21, 2011 [11 favorites]

Anyone else thinking the release date will be pushed back exactly 18 days? And then maybe those nutters at Family Radio will actually have something to show for their efforts?
posted by leviathan3k at 7:22 PM on January 21, 2011

Oh, look. Tits 'n aliens.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:23 PM on January 21, 2011 [2 favorites]

The date is set. The die is cast. The bitches are oiled and ready.

Screw your courage to the sticking place.
posted by kafziel at 7:26 PM on January 21, 2011 [2 favorites]

I was going to make an FPP about this and the interpersonal drama that made them switch the IP from 3D Realms to Gearbox, but I got lazy. Here's what it sorta would have looked like:

1998 Quake 2 engine trailer
2001 Unreal engine trailer
2007 Unreal engine trailer
2008 Preview footage
2009 demonstration
2011 Trailer

And this is all possible because George Broussard (3D realms) and Randy Pitchford (Gearbox) are BFFs. George basically handed it over duke to Randy. And Pitchford managed to convince their publisher that they could get the job done, because they're Gearbox, the pinch hitter of the industry (or something). I remember reading somewhere that the developers were working on DNF in their homes after 3D Realms closed, because what are you going to do after 12 years? (can't find it, but not too far fetched)

In any event: Team Fortress 2 had a protracted development "cycle" and managed to be the hit multiplayer game of the last few years. I would love to see the post mortem on DNF, or some kind of documentation.

Sometimes it's nice to make something "until it's done" and other times you just have to cut shit because, hey, it's been 10 plus years.
posted by hellojed at 7:29 PM on January 21, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oooh...do I get to be the first with a Chinese Democracy joke? Oh, goody!























I, uh, don't have one.
posted by sourwookie at 7:38 PM on January 21, 2011 [3 favorites]

Prediction: will be nothing more than a map mod for an existing franchise, such as HL2 or CoD, etc.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 7:49 PM on January 21, 2011

I still want a Shadow Warrior sequel.
posted by brundlefly at 7:51 PM on January 21, 2011 [3 favorites]

Is Jon St. John still around to do the voice? If they use a different voice actor, it just won't be right.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:55 PM on January 21, 2011

It's been nice knowing you all.

/heads to apocalypse bunker.
posted by Artw at 8:08 PM on January 21, 2011 [2 favorites]

Finally, reason to read youtube comments!

I would totally touch Duke's manparts. He fuckin wrecks shit.
posted by Scoo at 8:31 PM on January 21, 2011

Whoa whoa whoa... If it's not 3DRealms, then it's not Duke Nukem. I'll still be waiting.
posted by CarlRossi at 8:54 PM on January 21, 2011

Watched the trailer on the official site. Violence = ok. Boobs = nope. Gore = ok. Butts = nope. The word "fucking" in the trailer = ok. Saying the word "fuck" = nope. Toilet-level humour = ok (but look what we're dealing with). Duke taking a leak = nope (but that's ok. Really. No, really.). Typical North American sensibilities at play, but who are they trying to please here? It looks nice and big and shiny and all, I guess, but didn't Serious Sam basically put the capstone on this? All that work, and they could've helped with, I don't know, Half Life episodes or getting a cool indie game off of the ground.
I've always liked that list of things that were done in the time that it took this to go gold. Humanity put a man on the moon in that time, and it's 2011 and you've only *just* managed to pull your finger out. Capital job there guys: this room isn't BIG enough for me to roll my eyes in.
posted by Zack_Replica at 8:56 PM on January 21, 2011

Zack: You forgot the "Get off my Lawn" part. I know the mind starts slipping when you get old, so I hope this helps.
posted by Justinian at 8:59 PM on January 21, 2011

I'll believe it when I see it on the shelves. Though kudos to the studio for actually bringing arguably the biggest (definitely the longest-running) joke in gaming to reality.
posted by cmgonzalez at 9:12 PM on January 21, 2011

Is Jon St. John still around to do the voice? If they use a different voice actor, it just won't be right.

Absolutely, he's doing the voice.

If you're impatient, for $50 he'll record anything you want in the Duke voice. (look for "custom recordings").

This trailer makes use of his voice liberally. (Stick around for the last line in it.)
posted by jscott at 9:28 PM on January 21, 2011 [2 favorites]

This is Wired's attempt at a post-mortem. Short version: Broussard refused to get off the pot, and because he (and Scott Miller) were rich from the earlier version of Duke, they didn't have to. Apparently they were near to a good shippable product several times (or at least a feature freeze where you say "this is what we're pushing out the door once the bugs are fixed), but Broussard was unsatisfied, and was demanding an absurd level of perfection and industry-leading.

Reading between the lines, the article implies that Broussard was so intimidated by Duke's stature and his own promises that he perpetually sabotaged the release in order to avoid failing. Which worked, until the money ran out.
posted by fatbird at 9:48 PM on January 21, 2011 [3 favorites]

Justinian: Ranty comment, mind slipping, that lawn that's mine that you should be off of... QED and all that. Yep.
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:56 PM on January 21, 2011

Oh, for chrissakes, ok, I'll fess up. I won't pay the usual $60 for it, but I'll probably grab it in a few months when it's cheaper. god, what a game whore i am.
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:59 PM on January 21, 2011

I already played Serious Sam.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:23 AM on January 22, 2011

I, uh, don't have one.

"Where's my free Dr. Pepper?"
posted by mikelieman at 4:51 AM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

The only way to enjoy this game as the gods deem fit is to buy it at release then seal it in lucite, so that it may "develop" in perpetuity.
posted by Jilder at 6:03 AM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

Is Jon St. John still around to do the voice? If they use a different voice actor, it just won't be right.

Not only did they have him do the voice, but they brought him out to PAX to sign autographs. I breathed his air.
posted by heathkit at 6:59 AM on January 22, 2011

I think DUKE NUKEM FOREVER is a pretty cool guy. eh kills aleins and doesn't afraid of anything.
posted by kcds at 7:59 AM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]

Duke Nukem vapor is so last decade. Black Mesa Source is what the cool kids are waiting for.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:00 AM on January 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

Unfortunately, the people who have been waiting for this can no longer play it with their withered, feeble hands.
posted by Legomancer at 8:23 AM on January 22, 2011 [4 favorites]

I can't wait until they port it to the Apple IV.
posted by tommasz at 9:13 AM on January 22, 2011

This was all part of the master plan - the release comes at the apex of nostalgic demand. The only trick that I can see that they missed was not calling it "Duke Nukem Forever: Finally, The Prequel"
posted by vapidave at 9:20 AM on January 22, 2011

I think Gearbox missed a golden opportunity for the best game release ever. DNF would have been the perfect project to finish in absolute secrecy. There would have been leaks - the rating would get out, or maybe a Best Buy release date, and everyone would have just laughed. Then one day they could have said, "Hey, remember Duke Nukem Forever? Well, it's OUT. TODAY." Heads would explode. It would fly off the shelves.
posted by Sibrax at 10:21 AM on January 22, 2011 [5 favorites]

IF this thing actually does come out, the first person to play the game all the way through will trigger the split into the Mirror Universe. I suppose it's inevitable.

I already have my goatee, so I'm ready. Ready as I'll ever be.
posted by zoogleplex at 10:43 AM on January 22, 2011

I remain convinced that this is a long-running April Fool gag. I shall cease this belief when I see actual product on shelves.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:53 AM on January 22, 2011

Duke Nukem, bah.

Why is there no FPP about the real news: The sequel to Kid Icarus?
posted by merelyglib at 1:45 PM on January 22, 2011

Duke Nukem vapor is so last decade. Black Mesa Source yt is what the cool kids are waiting for.

I've been putting off a Half-Life replay in order to wait for BMS. This was likely a case of poor judgment and trusting mod authors to ever finish their work- an unreliable practice at best.


Why is there no FPP about the real news: The sequel to Kid Icarus?

Oh my god! I liked KI on the NES and loved the Gameboy sequel, back in the day. I am officially excited!
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:24 PM on January 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think Gearbox missed a golden opportunity for the best game release ever. DNF would have been the perfect project to finish in absolute secrecy. There would have been leaks - the rating would get out, or maybe a Best Buy release date, and everyone would have just laughed. Then one day they could have said, "Hey, remember Duke Nukem Forever? Well, it's OUT. TODAY." Heads would explode. It would fly off the shelves.

Blizzard never announces release dates until the game is basically ready to ship. Everyone knew that Starcraft II was on the way for some time now, but nobody knew when until a few months before it shipped. (Apparently it was delayed because WoW's success was so surprising that they decided to pull people off SCII and put them on WoW expansions instead).
posted by atrazine at 4:52 AM on January 23, 2011

So does anyone have an idea when we can see it in stores in Australia?
posted by periphery at 5:15 PM on January 26, 2011

There's tits, so, never?
posted by kafziel at 5:17 PM on January 26, 2011

Perhaps, much as they can get away with blood in germany if they make it green, they could replace tits with blue tits?
posted by Artw at 10:11 PM on January 26, 2011