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May 11, 2011 7:02 AM   Subscribe

Michelangelo’s Pizza Taste Test. [Video] Converting the gross-pizza-topping jokes (ex: chocolate sprinkles and clam sauce) from the TMNT cartoon into real world comestibles.

From our friends at Cinemassacre.
posted by BeerFilter (50 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
"See! I told you they could fry my shirt!"

"I didn't say they couldn't, Homer. I said you shouldn't!"
posted by Ghidorah at 7:08 AM on May 11, 2011

I'm so glad someone did this. Someone else.
posted by Eideteker at 7:08 AM on May 11, 2011 [5 favorites]

I took a Hersey's bar and some vanilla ice cream and put it on a piece of pepperoni pizza one day in grade school, doing this exact thing.

I.. can't really remember how it tasted, which means it couldn't have been too terrible...
posted by curious nu at 7:14 AM on May 11, 2011

Caramel popcorn on pizza would probably be really good.
posted by Eideteker at 7:15 AM on May 11, 2011

I.. can't really remember how it tasted...

Well, that'll happen when you pass out from a massive sugar spike. ;)
posted by Celsius1414 at 7:16 AM on May 11, 2011

I only recently encountered Cinemassacre and the Angry Video Game Nerd a couple of months back, but it's always nice to find something great with such an extensive backlog of stuff to enjoy.
posted by ShutterBun at 7:17 AM on May 11, 2011

Two friends and I tried this when we were ten or eleven. Mike had a pepperoni and peanut butter pizza, so we thought we'd give it a go. All that was available was that peanut butter pre-mixed with grape jelly. We went for it anyway. It was, unsurprisingly, terrible. One could assume that had we been purists and sought out real peanut butter, it might have been better.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 7:17 AM on May 11, 2011


T'was obligatory
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:23 AM on May 11, 2011 [4 favorites]

When the most recent installment of turtles (the surprisingly-good Turtles Forever) came out, my friend and I decided to do up the pizza turtle-style, so we had ice cream, chinese food, gummy worms, ramen, and whatever else we could find. Most of the flavor combinations weren't that bad!

We did not try penaut butter and clams, though.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:32 AM on May 11, 2011

watched this last night... one of the dudes can't handle his pinot grigio
posted by nathancaswell at 7:32 AM on May 11, 2011

On the other hand, a simple recipe for mouth happiness is to take one (1) cafeteria sized rice krispie treat (the size of a small life raft), and pour a decent amount of salt on the corner of your tray. Gently dip the rice krispie treat in the salt, shaking off the excess (of course, by agreeing to eat this, excess is all you'll have).

The salt and sweet together is absolutely delicious.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:36 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Anyone remember that episode of Doug where they spill a bowl of banana pudding on pizza and it tastes good? I spent a year adding bananas to my pizza. Because I do what TV tells me to do.

Also, watching Turtles Forever made me realize that just because I loved the Turtles when I was four does not mean it was actually amazing.
posted by jenlovesponies at 7:37 AM on May 11, 2011

That chick was totally right about clam sauce not being clam juice.

Not that it would have improved the pizza at hand very much.
posted by rachaelfaith at 7:41 AM on May 11, 2011

It's nice to see Ben Affleck getting back to his roots.
posted by ericbop at 7:46 AM on May 11, 2011

Hrm... and I remember being mystified by corn and artichoke hearts on pizza when I encountered that in Germany.
posted by hippybear at 7:49 AM on May 11, 2011

Artichoke hearts heart pizza. They're one of my favorite non-traditional toppings.

Right up there with pineapple and ham.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:51 AM on May 11, 2011

With all these potentially-off-putting food combinations, I'm a little surprised they didn't try lotus seed pod pizza.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:54 AM on May 11, 2011

I once had BLT pizza. Pizza with mayo as the sauce, and bacon, lettuce and tomato on top.

Order it. If the place makes subs, they have mayo.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:00 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

on pizza when I encountered that in Germany

For all of their staid conservatism, Germans know how to do up their pizza. Probably because all the pizza shop owners are Turks, but someone's gotta eat the pizza.

My favorites - Hawaiian pizza. Ham and pineapple, yes, but also sour cherries. I have never seen anyone in America put cherries on a pizza.

Also, a personal-sized pizza with a runny fried egg on top. Delicious.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:07 AM on May 11, 2011

Oh, sure. I've been doing mexican themed pizzas for a while now. Usually making a cornmeal-based crust. I've used thickened enchilada sauce as the base and built up from there, or used refried beans as the base... I could picture that BLT pizza being pretty good. Although I'd be more tempted to use something more like aioli for that garlic / olive oil flavor under all the BLT toppings.
posted by hippybear at 8:19 AM on May 11, 2011

Artichoke hearts aren't traditional toppings? I see them on pizza menus more often than not, I think.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:20 AM on May 11, 2011

Well, maybe they are now... 25 years ago as a naive 18 year old, I'd never heard of such a thing before.

And the corn.... that's just weird.
posted by hippybear at 8:23 AM on May 11, 2011

The best combination we've made at home recently was a white sauce pizza with pine nuts, sun dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and asparagus.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:25 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

Golly, I love corn on pizza! Little chewy nuggets of wee sweetness! I'd never had it until I visited England, where it was fairly common; I've since been puzzled that it's not more popular in the US.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:25 AM on May 11, 2011

A lot of the problems here was their preparations were not in good faith. they just put the raw ingredients on a lukewarm slice.

Anchovies are a flavor enhancer; they should be chopped up very small and distributed sparingly. The cheese grease absorbs the flavor and the heat mellows out the fishy taste. The hot fudge would still ruin it, though.

Also, clams on a pizza is a beautiful thing when done right. This involves sautéing them with olive oil, fresh parsley, and as much garlic as your conscience will allow, then adding parmesan cheese before you bake the pie. Adding peanut butter to the sauce at the very end might be good, provided maybe you put some hot sauce with it also.
posted by Jon_Evil at 8:26 AM on May 11, 2011

Aren't these kids a little old to be emulating cartoons? Not that I didn't have my share of spinach-fueled fist fights back in the day.
posted by orme at 8:34 AM on May 11, 2011

Aren't these kids a little old to be emulating cartoons?

posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:14 AM on May 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

Haha that pepperoni and pickles didn't look half bad
posted by dapperkoala at 9:17 AM on May 11, 2011

BLT Pizzas are delicious. I know they aren't common; I wonder if they are a Midwest thing?

I also had a pizza with sauerkraut on it once, which was different. I don't remember if it was full-blown reuben sandwich toppings, but I can see how that would be good.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 9:44 AM on May 11, 2011

I remember going to this ~2usd all-you-can-eat pizza joint in brazil when i was a kid that bolstered something like 50 different flavors. Of course to get to that number you need to start getting creative, like chocolate pizza, banana and peach and some other stuff that should never go on top of a pizza really.

My mom loves the chocolate one, though, so the acquired taste theory might not be so far-fetched.
posted by palbo at 9:58 AM on May 11, 2011

I'm pretty sure bolstered wasn't the word i was looking for, boasted maybe :P
posted by palbo at 9:59 AM on May 11, 2011


à la Lana Kane? I do this too
posted by cobra_high_tigers at 10:02 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

oh, damn. a rueben sandwich pizza? oh man.

Let's see... maybe a mild rye crust... use the dressing for the sauce... you'd have to drain and press the fuck out of the sauerkraut... sliced corned beef? or shredded?... and then topped with swiss cheese and maybe broiled slightly at the end of cooking to get a bit of brown-n-bubbly going on....

Oh man. That's a brilliant idea.
posted by hippybear at 10:06 AM on May 11, 2011 [3 favorites]

I got the BLT pizza at a small local NJ pizzeria, if that's helpful for zeroing in on a region. It's an Italian pizzeria, but they also make the untraditional stuff like Hawaiian pizza.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:12 AM on May 11, 2011

I've had a reuben pizza. Twas an amazing thing. The crust was normal pizza, but the sauce was Russian dressing, the cheese was swiss and the toppings were sauerkraut and pastrami.

Crazy Dough's in Harvard square had that delicacy. Their weird pizza changed daily when I was going there daily over a summer. Looking at their webpage now, I see they still offer it. Now I'm missing Boston.
posted by Hactar at 10:18 AM on May 11, 2011

The thing I have yet to be able to duplicate well is Zante's indian pizza. I've had it twice, but I don't live in SF and I'm not the most discerning taster in the world, so I really have no idea exactly what's on it or what the crust is.

Although I see they actually have a description of the ingredients on their website now. That wasn't there the last time I looked.

Still, any Bay Area people want to give me a good report on the construction of one? I *heart* Zante's indian pizza, but the commute from Eastern WA is hellish.
posted by hippybear at 10:30 AM on May 11, 2011

Buffering the video on our steam powered internet, can't wait to watch it. Thanks to those talking about alternate cuisine pizza, too. Hippybear, I would be very interested in any Mexi-pizza recipes or construction techniques you'd be interested in sharing. As for the Indian pizza, I haven't had the one you reference but maybe a thick paratha style bread for the crust would be good?

The Turtles' pizza consumption, like their general appearance, falls directly into the Uncanny Valley for me. Sure, yay, Turtles, pizza. Four giant amphibious creatures with insane mockeries of children's grins, wielding antique weapons? Bad enough, but worse to me is their enthusiasm for familiar food in bizarre combinations and quantities.
posted by jtron at 11:04 AM on May 11, 2011

Vindaloo pizza.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:20 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

jtron: For the taco pizza, I used the "bread machine recipe" from this page (scroll down), only I made it in my stand mixer, gave it a solid 5 minutes knead using the dough hook, and then let it rise until quite doubled.

I used half the crust for each pizza, rolled it out quite thin. Brushed on a nice coat of garlic olive oil (made by using an immersion blender on a couple of cloves of garlic and some olive oil -- lots of nice little garlicky bits!) all the way to the edges.

The toppings I used were:

medium low-grade salsa for the sauce. I didn't want the chunky stuff -- I wanted it to be more sauce-ish
taco meat, made by frying up hamburger and using pre-made taco meat seasoning
chopped onion
black olives
a half-dose of "taco blend" cheese like you buy pre-done in the store, and a half-dose of "pizza blend" cheese, so you have the stringy mozzarella to balance out the cheddar and stuff

bake at 425 on a pizza stone for... oh... until it looks done. 10 minutes? maybe 15? You be the judge

After removing from oven, smearing on a thin coat of sour cream, and then topping that with a good layer of shredded lettuce and fresh chopped tomato.

Slice and enjoy.

That crust also works well for enchilada pizza (boil down canned enchilada sauce or make your own (I use the red chile sauce on this page) so it's thick enough not to be running all over the place), topped with shredded beef and again the mixed cheese, serve with sour cream... Or a burrito pizza, using smooth refried beans that have been heated with a bit of lard or shortening to get them nicely spreadable, and then building up from there. I've used pretty much whatever for the burrito pizza, often cleaning out leftovers of spanish rice or taco meat or carne al pastor or whatever I have around as toppings.

But my taco pizza is the one I've got the most formalized and am the most proud of at the moment.
posted by hippybear at 11:32 AM on May 11, 2011 [2 favorites]

That's awesome Wolfdog. Thank you!
posted by hippybear at 11:33 AM on May 11, 2011

solid 5 minutes knead using the dough hook

I don't understand why people do this. Kneading pizza dough by hand is just about the most sexually satisfying thing you can do with your hands.

oh I've said too much
posted by fleetmouse at 11:40 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

fleetmouse: I love kneading bread dough. However, this corn meal dough really requires a pretty hefty workout to get it smooth enough, even with a 5-minute rest between the initial mixing and the dough hook kneading.

Plus I have this pesky ruptured disk at L5N1 which really gets grumpy if I work it out too hard, and for some reason, kneading really stiff doughs is one of the things which sets it off.

I do hand kneading for a lot of other doughs, however. Especially when I make Julia Child's hamburger bun recipe, which requires something ridiculous like 3 punchdown and rise cycles.
posted by hippybear at 11:52 AM on May 11, 2011

Oh man oh man oh man. Thanks hippybear, I know what i'm making when I get back from my honeymoon next week (said nuptials also enabling my possession of a standing mixer and immersion blender, strangely enough. Never wanted to get hitched until I found out you can get nice kitchen shit that way)
posted by jtron at 12:20 PM on May 11, 2011

Chicken tandori pizza. That's all I have to add to this conversation.
posted by rh at 12:47 PM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

hippybear: A vital ingredient to Taco pizza is crushed up Nacho flavored tortilla chips on top (DO NOT attempt to use Doritos).
posted by ArgentCorvid at 1:33 PM on May 11, 2011

A vital ingredient to Taco pizza is crushed up Nacho flavored tortilla chips on top

Ah, but I use the cornmeal crust to be able to avoid that kind of purchase.

Besides, have you priced those things out lately? They're, like, $5/bag. Who could afford to buy those just to crush up to use on a pizza?
posted by hippybear at 1:37 PM on May 11, 2011

jtron is getting married? Congratulations!

Maybe in celebration you need to make a wedding cake pizza.
posted by hippybear at 1:39 PM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

rh: you're cruel to link to that page and for it not to be a recipe. :(
posted by hippybear at 1:40 PM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]

à la Lana Kane? I do this too

posted by flaterik at 3:09 PM on May 11, 2011

Corn on pizza is one of the mainstays of the nightmare that is Japanese pizza. Squid? Canned Tuna? Mayonnaise? Potatoes? Teriyaki sauce? All that and more at your local pizza shop. Any special of the month from Japanese Pizza Hut would put the turtles to shame.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:47 PM on May 11, 2011

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