No, not that one...

July 14, 2011 7:09 PM

More recently, Wilson has drawn fan and media attention for his thick, black beard and eccentric behavior. There's a relatively strange baseball player called Brian Wilson.

He knows someone referred to as The* Machine. Most recently at the ESPYs.
* _{Full interview}.

posted by SomaSoda (63 comments total)

Oops, previously.
posted by SomaSoda at 7:11 PM on July 14, 2011

Brian Wilson isn't The Machine, he's just a neighbor.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:13 PM on July 14, 2011

Finally someone with a personality in pro sports who isn't Dennis Rodman. I love how he just totally flummoxes sportscasters with his beard.
posted by cmoj at 7:15 PM on July 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

You usually get the impression that there's not much going on behind a professional athlete's head other than sports (and maybe sex and drugs). It's always surprising to find one who's legitimately funny and witty.
posted by codacorolla at 7:19 PM on July 14, 2011

I love the Giants, but there's something really annoying to me about the "wacky bunch of misfits" narrative. Wilson in particular. His angry outbursts are much more indicative of his real personality than his self-consciously quirky interviews.
posted by roll truck roll at 7:20 PM on July 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Isn't the history of baseball replete with bizarre and nutball characters? Like, genuine eccentrics who would be attempting to build an engine that ran on pistachios, or jogging across the country wearing nothing but a turquoise fanny pack, if they hadn't been gifted with baseball talent. Jonathan Papelbon would be hunting gators and also people if he wasn't a great pitcher.
posted by solistrato at 7:22 PM on July 14, 2011 [14 favorites]

I like his weirdness. I don't care if much of it is a manufactured persona - he's a public figure, and all of them have some amount of calculated persona to them. I just like his particular take on it.

Fear the Beard! Go Giants!
posted by rtha at 7:23 PM on July 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

ha!

Wilson is noted for having a peculiar personality.[38] In the 2010 MLB All Star Game he debuted a pair of bright orange spikes and continued to wear them throughout the season, coloring half of them black with an indelible marker after being fined $1,000 by National League for non-conforming shoes.[39] Wilson claimed he was punished for "having too much awesome on [his] feet." In an interview with Jim Rome on September 3, he claimed to be a "certified ninja" which he learned in a dream
posted by mannequito at 7:27 PM on July 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Between Wilson's beard and Lincecum's mullet, we're dealing with an all-out follicular assault.
posted by jonmc at 7:27 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Giants fans can purchase Timmy wigs, beard masks, and panda hats. Some wear all of them at games.

Yeah, I'm a Giants fan. What?
posted by gingerbeer at 7:32 PM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Looks like some of his fans share similar sentiments.
posted by SomaSoda at 7:32 PM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Love his beard, love his eyes and smile, love his pitching. He's a proud freak in a long historical line of baseball freaks. He and his type are the reason I keep coming back season after season.
posted by hippybear at 7:34 PM on July 14, 2011 [7 favorites]

That spandex tux surely ups the ante for the next scotch meetup.
posted by sarahnade at 7:36 PM on July 14, 2011 [8 favorites]

Looks like some of his fans share similar sentiments.

Ugh, I can't tell if I've just outgrown this sort of humor or what, but I just don't get the humor of appearing amateurish. The funniest it's ever been was Chris Farley's talk show skits on SNL. There always seems to be a nasty bent to this sort of style these days I can't identify or appreciate.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:42 PM on July 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

About the Jim Rome interview: previously (includes a link to the full audio).
posted by rkent at 7:46 PM on July 14, 2011

Lincecum's mullet,

Timmy does not have a mullet. It's long all over his head.
posted by rtha at 7:56 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wilson is still less absurd than the amount of product placement during the All Star Game.
posted by starman at 8:07 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

His angry outbursts are much more indicative of his real personality than his self-consciously quirky interviews.

Do you know him personally? How would you know this? He's always struck me (a long-time Giants fan) as a legitimately quirky weirdo who's embraced his weird-ass weirdery.
posted by ORthey at 8:09 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

rtha, under a cap it's a mullet, and a beautiful resplendent one like I had at age 17.
posted by jonmc at 8:10 PM on July 14, 2011

Screw mullets and freakish beards. Give me sideburns, hipster glasses, and a terrible wig. I present Larry Bernandez.
posted by dw at 8:14 PM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Maybe the definition of mullet has changed since I last checked, but this was Lincecum in March. That, sir, is no mullet. (Not, I hasten to add, that there is necessarily anything wrong with mullets, on the right person in the right circumstances. But that ain't a mullet.)

Also, I'm watching the game right now, and will keep an eye out for Lincecum in the dugout.
posted by rtha at 8:17 PM on July 14, 2011

I liked his commercials for the MLB 2011 video game where he argued with "Digital Me". He's pretty funny.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:18 PM on July 14, 2011

"Jonathan Papelbon would be hunting gators and also people if he wasn't a great pitcher."

I rather suspect Pap would be spending time upon the wicked stage. He loves to sing and dance and wear scanty costumes.
posted by Anitanola at 8:33 PM on July 14, 2011

He's on one fo my fantasy teams, doing a great job!
posted by vrakatar at 8:40 PM on July 14, 2011

In the 2010 MLB All Star Game he debuted a pair of bright orange spikes and continued to wear them throughout the season, coloring half of them black with an indelible marker after being fined $1,000 by National League for non-conforming shoes.Wilson claimed he was punished for "having too much awesome on [his] feet."

This fills me with joy for some reason.
posted by swift at 8:48 PM on July 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile.

Is this a creative drought?
posted by eriko at 8:56 PM on July 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Isn't the history of baseball replete with bizarre and nutball characters?

No way.
posted by mintcake! at 8:59 PM on July 14, 2011

Doc Ellis, Earl Weaver, and Spaceman Lee.

To redeem my typo above.
posted by vrakatar at 9:13 PM on July 14, 2011

This is my favorite Brian Wilson appearance.
posted by bendy at 9:17 PM on July 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

Is this a creative drought?

Seems more like a fount of sorts.
posted by SomaSoda at 9:19 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

His angry outbursts are much more indicative of his real personality than his self-consciously quirky interviews.

I can get pretty worked up just playing foosball in the company break room. I don't think what you do on the field of competition necessarily translates to real life.
posted by empath at 9:28 PM on July 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Wilson with Supreme Court justices.

I understand Justice Thomas was quite thrilled to meet The Machine.
posted by mikeand1 at 9:34 PM on July 14, 2011

if i were being paid millions to do what i love, i too would not give a fuck
posted by liza at 9:34 PM on July 14, 2011 [11 favorites]

Saw him pitching in the All Star game, wondered how much Just For Men he must go through.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:46 PM on July 14, 2011

that's nothing. i hear one day we'll have a hipster president!
posted by es_de_bah at 9:47 PM on July 14, 2011

In the 2010 MLB All Star Game he debuted a pair of bright orange spikes and continued to wear them throughout the season, coloring half of them black with an indelible marker after being fined $1,000 by National League for non-conforming shoes.Wilson claimed he was punished for "having too much awesome on [his] feet."

Did photos and TV shots of these shoes show a Nike swoosh, Adidas stripes or some such?
posted by ambient2 at 10:02 PM on July 14, 2011

My other favorite pro athlete, for similar reasons, is Dane Reynolds. Of course, this year he's pretty much just said "fuck it" and stopped competing professionally entirely. Dane does his own thing, which seems to be Wilson's MO as well.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 10:05 PM on July 14, 2011

I remember spotting part of his recent outburst on TV at a bar a couple weeks ago, and asking my dining compatriots if Mastodon was shooting a new video.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:08 PM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

I never knew until I read the Wikipedia article that he was a Born Again Christian.
posted by MattMangels at 10:12 PM on July 14, 2011

He's got Hacksaw Jim Duggan eyes.
posted by secondhand pho at 10:30 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

wilson was part of an amazing NYT crossword from last march. four of the long answers were world series pitchers who had the same names as musicians with #1 hits: brian wilson, kenny rogers, dave stewart, and eddie fisher (all with 11 letters!). the puzzle's fifth long answer was "perfect pitch", which made me smile all day long.
posted by bruceo at 10:35 PM on July 14, 2011 [12 favorites]

Between Wilson's beard and Lincecum's mullet, we're dealing with an all-out follicular assault.

Pretty sure you're confusing mullet with hat hair.
posted by desuetude at 10:51 PM on July 14, 2011

Did photos and TV shots of these shoes show a Nike swoosh, Adidas stripes or some such?

Yeah but it was the color of the shoes, not the logo, that was the problem.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:55 PM on July 14, 2011

Raccoon City Immortals... we'll put that name to the test!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:56 PM on July 14, 2011

Speak of the Devil, look who's on the mound at Petco Park.
posted by MattMangels at 10:59 PM on July 14, 2011

Manufactured persona? Slaphappy pappysnacks!
posted by robot at 11:15 PM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

I think The Beard peaked last year—there were a couple of weeks late in the season/early in the postseason when Wilson looked like he'd just walked off the set of 300. It was awe-inspiring.

Baseball is full of guys who've manufactured bland, noncommittal "nice guy" on-camera personalities. A little weirdness makes for a nice contrast, manufactured or not.
posted by Lazlo at 11:43 PM on July 14, 2011

i love him. HE IS DELICIOUS. and that virtual beard thing was one of the funniest things, evar.
posted by lapolla at 11:53 PM on July 14, 2011

After watching that video from George Lopes I realized that Brian Wilson is just one of Zach Galifianakis's characters! Is there anything that guy can't do!?
posted by chemoboy at 12:09 AM on July 15, 2011

Some NBA players would like to remind you that they were doing it first.
posted by auto-correct at 1:11 AM on July 15, 2011

ZZ Topiary.
posted by pracowity at 1:23 AM on July 15, 2011 [3 favorites]

Bill Lee is the greatest baseball eccentric. I own one autographed baseball, and it was signed by The Spaceman. Here it is with a bust of Lenin sitting on it.

Also, Lincecum doesn't have a mullet. Just well-kept long hair. He looks like his mom drove him to the ballpark directly from a Dungeons and Dragons game in 1991.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:31 AM on July 15, 2011 [5 favorites]

MattMangels: "I never knew until I read the Wikipedia article that he was a Born Again Christian"

This bears repeating-- this guy's weird even by SF standards. It delights me to think of him blowing minds around the nation.
posted by alexei at 4:14 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

- I thought all athletes had to be born again Christians, except for the occasional pitcher, who can be jewish.

- Seems like he is trying too hard. There is going your own way and being a nut, and then there is clowning.
posted by gjc at 5:06 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

For your dose of weirdness/goofball/clowning from (american) football, here's Jared Allen.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 5:11 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Does the name Brian Wilson confer upon its owner The Crazy? I refuse to believe that it's just coincidence.

All he needs is a Barenaked Ladies song in his honor and a debilitating drug habit.
posted by tommasz at 5:25 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Brian Wilson's well-rehearsed crazy wasn't half as entertaining as a likely drunk Justin Timberlake at the the All-Star Game taking shots at Joe Buck.
posted by gladly at 5:54 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

re: baseball zaniness, this is Evan Longoria being kind of funny, albeit with a much more prevalent commercial bent

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMujgAAyH-I
posted by lulz at 7:32 AM on July 15, 2011

Closers have cultivated a semi tradition where being weird is ok. Like there's so much on the line - protecting a slim lead going into the ninth. It's as if the regular crew gets us *almost* home, but we open up the cage so the maniac who's been locked in there can get us all the way home. Wilson is a hilariously theatrical extension of this movement.

We love the big lunatic.
posted by jasper411 at 7:47 AM on July 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

All he needs is a Barenaked Ladies song in his honor and a debilitating drug habit.

Yeah, because two of his teammates already have a song.
posted by Mental Wimp at 9:29 AM on July 15, 2011

Hm. It's no Piazza, New York Catcher.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:54 AM on July 15, 2011

He's in the wrong sport. That beard belongs in the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 10:04 AM on July 15, 2011

I had no idea about this.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:04 PM on July 15, 2011