The pageant is rigged. An Earthling always wins.
December 20, 2012 9:55 AM Subscribe
It's December, and that means it's time for the Miss Universe pageant! Which means it's time for Tom and Lorenzo's hilariously snarky rundown of the National Costume portion!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
The Miss Universe pageant. For all your apocalyptic fashion needs.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
The Miss Universe pageant. For all your apocalyptic fashion needs.
I AM EXCITE
posted by elizardbits at 9:57 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by elizardbits at 9:57 AM on December 20, 2012
Ah yes, Winner Ms. USA in her sartorial salute to cheap watercolor pastels found on the walls of our nation's fine B&Bs!
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by The Whelk at 9:58 AM on December 20, 2012
And here's TLo's take on last year's pageant, if you'd like EVEN MOAR and you haven't seen this before: 2011 part 1 - 2011 part 2
posted by flex at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by flex at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012
Do check out Peru in Part 3 for some conquistadorian hotpants.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
I like how every year most of South America just responds with I'M SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THIS POUNDING SAMBA BEAT.
posted by The Whelk at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012 [11 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012 [11 favorites]
Belgium - looks like a toilet roll cozy
Bolivia - new marvel supervillain?
Malaysia - I am pretty sure she is married to Satan
Nicaragua - gurl you fierce
Slovak Republic - nice guns, I am jealous
Tanzania - this is straight up goddamn awesome
posted by elizardbits at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Bolivia - new marvel supervillain?
Malaysia - I am pretty sure she is married to Satan
Nicaragua - gurl you fierce
Slovak Republic - nice guns, I am jealous
Tanzania - this is straight up goddamn awesome
posted by elizardbits at 10:00 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
90% sure Ms. UK's outfit was sold to them by a desperate, spooky-eyed Geri Halliwell
posted by The Whelk at 10:01 AM on December 20, 2012 [6 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:01 AM on December 20, 2012 [6 favorites]
Also oh wow every south/central american nation has decided to go with a white representative, this is totally shocking and unexpected and whoever could have guessed this would be the case.
posted by elizardbits at 10:01 AM on December 20, 2012 [8 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 10:01 AM on December 20, 2012 [8 favorites]
Over in ChatFilter, we determined that, due to their horribly offensive costume in '11, Canada 2012 is totally overcompensating and being that friend that once said something racist and now goes out of their way to be culturally sensitive by pronouncing it Barthelona and wearing a South American knit toque.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:03 AM on December 20, 2012 [11 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:03 AM on December 20, 2012 [11 favorites]
Bermuda! Come for beaches, stay for our sexually ambiguous pirates.
posted by The Whelk at 10:03 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:03 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
Wow. Denmark. Just wow. Did not catch that on tv.
posted by Think_Long at 10:04 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by Think_Long at 10:04 AM on December 20, 2012
Ah yes China is literally a piece of China, this is the wit we've come to expect here at the Hunger Games.
And now special mention to the two countries that obviously did not receive help from their parents, Italy and France!
"I'm a flag!"
"Of course you are dear."
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 AM on December 20, 2012 [24 favorites]
And now special mention to the two countries that obviously did not receive help from their parents, Italy and France!
"I'm a flag!"
"Of course you are dear."
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 AM on December 20, 2012 [24 favorites]
Also USA 2010 (scroll down most of the way) was the best costume for anything ever.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:05 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:05 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
Aaah I was just trying to post this.
I would like a Barbie wearing Paraguay's costume, please Santa.
In the comments, the bitter kittens say China's costume, designed by Guo Pei, was the winner. Well-deserved, I think. Though Nicaragua is pretty fierce.
posted by rewil at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012
I would like a Barbie wearing Paraguay's costume, please Santa.
In the comments, the bitter kittens say China's costume, designed by Guo Pei, was the winner. Well-deserved, I think. Though Nicaragua is pretty fierce.
posted by rewil at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012
OMG Whelk this is totally a Hunger Games precursor.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
I want a bat-bee-demon woman
The internet's got me so blind I can't see
I want a bat-bee-demon woman
Even if she makes honey-guano out of me
posted by orme at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
The internet's got me so blind I can't see
I want a bat-bee-demon woman
Even if she makes honey-guano out of me
posted by orme at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
The commentary was pretty shitty and mainly consisted of variations on bitches, whores and sluts, but the outfits are amazing! There's so many where you would really want to have been a fly on the wall and hear what in gods name the designers were thinking. Very sad that Ireland had such an awful rental costume.
posted by Iteki at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by Iteki at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
Argentina - this is almost exactly how I plan to dress once I am God Emperor; ideally I will have a massive sword as well
Bahamas - someone's been playing a bit too much Assassin's Creed
Finland - I was hoping for the Snow Queen costume from Oglaf tbh
Guyana - please be my glorious space princess
Mexico - omg
New Zealand - why isn't this a hobbit
South Africa - nothing i want to say is even remotely appropriate for life
Ukraine - I want to fight off dragon-mounted invaders with you
posted by elizardbits at 10:07 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Bahamas - someone's been playing a bit too much Assassin's Creed
Finland - I was hoping for the Snow Queen costume from Oglaf tbh
Guyana - please be my glorious space princess
Mexico - omg
New Zealand - why isn't this a hobbit
South Africa - nothing i want to say is even remotely appropriate for life
Ukraine - I want to fight off dragon-mounted invaders with you
posted by elizardbits at 10:07 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Peru is weak against fire magic.
Tanzania has an Eyes Wide Shut creepy orgy to get to after this.
posted by The Whelk at 10:08 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Tanzania has an Eyes Wide Shut creepy orgy to get to after this.
posted by The Whelk at 10:08 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
I was wondering if China's was designed by Pei. She did a couture show a couple years ago that was jawdropping.
posted by KathrynT at 10:08 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by KathrynT at 10:08 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
The de rigeur platform heels are generally out of place, but especially when paired with Germany's neo-dirndl.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:08 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by Rock Steady at 10:08 AM on December 20, 2012
Argentina - Why do we even have that lever?
posted by The Whelk at 10:09 AM on December 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:09 AM on December 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
New Zealand gets great wifi anywhere in the world.
posted by The Whelk at 10:10 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:10 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Switzerland - The lone Rockette, separated from her kickline, is at the mercy of the many predators of the savannah.
posted by The Whelk at 10:12 AM on December 20, 2012 [6 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:12 AM on December 20, 2012 [6 favorites]
Curacao - at any moment she may swoop down and steal your baby
Denmark - okay that's just sad
Ecuador is making me seriously fucking angry, I cannot fucking even. Something like 5% of the population there is white. CAN YOU NOT PICK A SINGLE BROWN PERSON TO FUCKING REPRESENT YOU. JESUS FUCKING WEPT YOU ASSHOLES.
Guatemala you too are on The List.
posted by elizardbits at 10:12 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Denmark - okay that's just sad
Ecuador is making me seriously fucking angry, I cannot fucking even. Something like 5% of the population there is white. CAN YOU NOT PICK A SINGLE BROWN PERSON TO FUCKING REPRESENT YOU. JESUS FUCKING WEPT YOU ASSHOLES.
Guatemala you too are on The List.
posted by elizardbits at 10:12 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Surely there's someplace that has these images without the miserable commentary.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
The "limited edition" chocolate box just really confused me. WTF? Also Canada.. its like you are rooting for the competition!?
posted by xicana63 at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by xicana63 at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012
Paraguay - PULL THE LEVER, KRONK
posted by elizardbits at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
goddammit whelk
posted by elizardbits at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by elizardbits at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2012
”SPARKLES AND LIBERTY, MOTHERFUCKERS!”
posted by nooneyouknow at 10:14 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by nooneyouknow at 10:14 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
You need to deeplink to the images people, I am at work and can't keep scrolling around looking at scantily clad ladies.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:14 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:14 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
New Zealand - why isn't this a hobbit
You might be pleased to note that Guatemala has entered an elf.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:15 AM on December 20, 2012
You might be pleased to note that Guatemala has entered an elf.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:15 AM on December 20, 2012
There's got to be a great wacky farce reason behind Denmark's ...lets say dress, right?
posted by The Whelk at 10:16 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:16 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Oh dear, Denmark. Oh dear.
On the other hand, I actually quite like Hungary's.
posted by Jehan at 10:16 AM on December 20, 2012
On the other hand, I actually quite like Hungary's.
posted by Jehan at 10:16 AM on December 20, 2012
Venezuela tripped and fell into a vat of Whitman's Samplers.
posted by The Whelk at 10:17 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:17 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Now I know where Atlus gets their SMT and Persona demon designs.
posted by Blue Meanie at 10:17 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by Blue Meanie at 10:17 AM on December 20, 2012
I think I could put together a pretty decent band of amazon warriors out of this (with, maybe three evil sorceresses to oppose them.)
posted by Karmakaze at 10:17 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by Karmakaze at 10:17 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
The Whelk: There's got to be a great wacky farce reason behind Denmark's ...lets say dress, right?
She forgot the real dress back in Copenhagen and had to make that in the hotel room the night before, and Finland totally didn't even help.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:18 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
She forgot the real dress back in Copenhagen and had to make that in the hotel room the night before, and Finland totally didn't even help.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:18 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Why is Miss India not represented? I actually quite like her costume (couldn't find a direct link, so that's a Google Image search).
posted by peacheater at 10:18 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by peacheater at 10:18 AM on December 20, 2012
yeah just looking at some of these makes me wanna make sure I have enough Phoenix Down.
posted by The Whelk at 10:19 AM on December 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:19 AM on December 20, 2012 [7 favorites]
And then, holy cow, an outfit a human being might actually wear.
posted by Karmakaze at 10:19 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by Karmakaze at 10:19 AM on December 20, 2012
Also oh wow every south/central american nation has decided to go with a white representative, this is totally shocking and unexpected and whoever could have guessed this would be the case.
I was in a tour bus full of american pre-med students doing a clinic in guatemala -- pretty much all of whom were second generation americans. There were a couple of girls from the phillipines, a girl from Indonesia, a girl from Singapore, a korean, a girl from el salvador, and two cousins from Guatemala. When they started talking about fashion and attractiveness ALL of them went on about which one had the lightest skin and how great it was to have light skin. It was kind of depressing to listen to. All of them were beautiful, but they had slightly dark skin and hated it.
posted by empath at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012
I was in a tour bus full of american pre-med students doing a clinic in guatemala -- pretty much all of whom were second generation americans. There were a couple of girls from the phillipines, a girl from Indonesia, a girl from Singapore, a korean, a girl from el salvador, and two cousins from Guatemala. When they started talking about fashion and attractiveness ALL of them went on about which one had the lightest skin and how great it was to have light skin. It was kind of depressing to listen to. All of them were beautiful, but they had slightly dark skin and hated it.
posted by empath at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012
I don't think India's costume was ridiculous enough to be included in this roundup.
posted by elizardbits at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by elizardbits at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012
I totally lost it at Bahamas and had to take a break to recover.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Until the glorious day Japan wears a Transforming Costume a touch of sadness will rest upon my heart.
posted by bswinburn at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by bswinburn at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
You know who should do these commentaries? The Fug Girls. They manage to be funny but 100% less reliant on gay-guy and whore jokes.
Oh wait, they did! (partly)
posted by emjaybee at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Oh wait, they did! (partly)
posted by emjaybee at 10:20 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
I so love Tom and Lorenzo. They are actually one of the sources of inspiration for my own site, because I loved their particular brand of hilarious and intelligent commentary on style so much.
posted by orange swan at 10:22 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by orange swan at 10:22 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
I'm still kind of reeling of The Netherlands' PINWHEELS myself.
Did they actually move? They better have.
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 AM on December 20, 2012
Did they actually move? They better have.
posted by The Whelk at 10:24 AM on December 20, 2012
Glad to see my countrywoman doing us proud in left over Gladiators costume...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:25 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:25 AM on December 20, 2012
Do they get extra points for wings???
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:25 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:25 AM on December 20, 2012
Oh man the 2010 photos are depressing me, so many gorgeous PoC women representing their countries. UNLIKE THIS YEAR WHICH IS BAD.
posted by elizardbits at 10:27 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by elizardbits at 10:27 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Come on, Ireland. Did you pick that up from a Spirit Halloween store? Are actual solo dresses too Irish or something?
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:27 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:27 AM on December 20, 2012
Too good. I laughed so much I cried off my mascara. Which seems very appropriate.
Can't decide what sent me over the edge -- the costumes or the snark. I do know that the fashion police should have charged almost everyone with aggravated felonies.
posted by bearwife at 10:30 AM on December 20, 2012
Can't decide what sent me over the edge -- the costumes or the snark. I do know that the fashion police should have charged almost everyone with aggravated felonies.
posted by bearwife at 10:30 AM on December 20, 2012
Tom and Lorenzo is literally one of my favorite things on the internet. If you have any interest in Mad Men, you've gotta check out their "Mad Style" fashion analysis. I love everything they do, but those posts are standouts.
posted by soonertbone at 10:32 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by soonertbone at 10:32 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
I have laughed more over these last couple of days at autocorrect errors and Miss Universe costumes than in the last six months combined.
(That Miss USA 2010 photo and caption somehow crossed wires in my brain with the Thanksgiving WKRP episode, so it became, "As God is my witness, I thought strippers could fly.")
(OMG, my brain has installed its own version of autocorrect!)
posted by Superplin at 10:40 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
(That Miss USA 2010 photo and caption somehow crossed wires in my brain with the Thanksgiving WKRP episode, so it became, "As God is my witness, I thought strippers could fly.")
(OMG, my brain has installed its own version of autocorrect!)
posted by Superplin at 10:40 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Also USA 2010 (scroll down most of the way) was the best costume for anything ever.
Also in that link is real life Polandball.
posted by Hollywood Upstairs Medical College at 10:41 AM on December 20, 2012
Also in that link is real life Polandball.
posted by Hollywood Upstairs Medical College at 10:41 AM on December 20, 2012
I really like almost all of these. Forget actual fashion sense, they're just so damn... fun! I would wear any and/or all of them to a fancy New Year's party, particularly Peru (maybe without the heels though.)
Also, I am surprised to see how much thigh/hip flesh there is on some of these women. They look... toned and like they eat healthily. I hope this means we're finally moving away from the models-are-exclusively-stick-thin thing.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:41 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Also, I am surprised to see how much thigh/hip flesh there is on some of these women. They look... toned and like they eat healthily. I hope this means we're finally moving away from the models-are-exclusively-stick-thin thing.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:41 AM on December 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
The pictures (the costumes!) are waaaaaay more interesting than the commentary.
Seriously bad snark. And I'm on MetaFilter. I know my snark.
posted by mazola at 10:43 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
Seriously bad snark. And I'm on MetaFilter. I know my snark.
posted by mazola at 10:43 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
It's kind of scary how many of these I would love to be able to wear. One of these days, I'll be an Evil Space Queen...I just need to figure out the proper career path.
posted by JoanArkham at 10:44 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by JoanArkham at 10:44 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Does Canada lack any Canadian flags on its multicultural cape thing, or am I blind?
posted by jeather at 10:45 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by jeather at 10:45 AM on December 20, 2012
Curacao has eagles on her head AND ON BOTH HANDS. TRI-EAGLE.
Mexico, I guess, was going for the Magic Eye approach.
posted by threeants at 10:48 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Mexico, I guess, was going for the Magic Eye approach.
posted by threeants at 10:48 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Denmark blatantly bought a "Sexy Mermaid" costume from the Halloween Center clearance bin on November 1.
posted by threeants at 10:49 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by threeants at 10:49 AM on December 20, 2012
Canada looks like one of those odd meta-superheroes whose superpower is to be able to use anyone else's superpower for one minute a day (or in this case, for about one square foot).
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:51 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:51 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
When I was 20 years old, I spent the summer working in Miami Beach. My brother-in-law managed one of the big hotels, he got me a couple of bellman jobs to keep me busy for the summer. This was a huge deal for a kid from the midwest, this was a life I couldn't even imagine....
It happened that the Miss Universe contest was being held in Miami, part of it at my brother-in-law's hotel. One evening before the event he told me to put on my suit, we were going out for dinner.
Dinner was an evening cruise up the Miami River on a fairly small boat. The guests for this particular cruise were execs from the hotel, me, and most of the contestants from the Miss Universe Contest.
I spent the next four hours sitting at a table, drinking vodka screwdrivers, never saying a word to anyone, terrified out of my midwestern mind by the most beautiful women in the world.
And THAT is my Miss Universe story.
posted by HuronBob at 10:55 AM on December 20, 2012 [11 favorites]
It happened that the Miss Universe contest was being held in Miami, part of it at my brother-in-law's hotel. One evening before the event he told me to put on my suit, we were going out for dinner.
Dinner was an evening cruise up the Miami River on a fairly small boat. The guests for this particular cruise were execs from the hotel, me, and most of the contestants from the Miss Universe Contest.
I spent the next four hours sitting at a table, drinking vodka screwdrivers, never saying a word to anyone, terrified out of my midwestern mind by the most beautiful women in the world.
And THAT is my Miss Universe story.
posted by HuronBob at 10:55 AM on December 20, 2012 [11 favorites]
Also, I thought Norway looked smashing, although it may be the effect of her super-fierce eyebrows and cocky expression. "You need some alpine goats milked? I'll milk your alpine goats like they've never been milked before."
Vietnam (not included in the takedown linked above) was great too.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:57 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Vietnam (not included in the takedown linked above) was great too.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:57 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
If aliens took this as an example of Earth, they'd consider RuPaul our Supreme Leader.
I'd be okay with that.
posted by xingcat at 11:03 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
I'd be okay with that.
posted by xingcat at 11:03 AM on December 20, 2012 [5 favorites]
wait RuPaul ...isn't?
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 AM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
Is there any original archive of all the photos without the commentary?
posted by Karmakaze at 11:07 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Karmakaze at 11:07 AM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
haven't read every comment yet so I'm not sure if this has been mentioned, but in addition to noticing the utter white-itude of women from nations e.g. south america, central america, caribbean etc., that many of the nations from which we might expect a blonde or very light skinned woman (Norway for example here) had brunettes with warmer tan or even brown skin tones....so the inverse. the universe seems to prefer brown hair and a light tan over all other types!
posted by supermedusa at 11:17 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 11:17 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I was struck by the number of brunettes, too, supermedusa.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:31 AM on December 20, 2012
posted by Rock Steady at 11:31 AM on December 20, 2012
And let me just say on behalf of the Danish people: that mermaid "dress" deserves all the snark in the world.
posted by brokkr at 12:07 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by brokkr at 12:07 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
I will say that the sound I made upon seeing the Uruguay outfit + caption really made me regret opening this at work.
posted by psoas at 12:13 PM on December 20, 2012
posted by psoas at 12:13 PM on December 20, 2012
elizardbits: "Also oh wow every south/central american nation has decided to go with a white representative"... Guyana excepted.
posted by brokkr at 12:29 PM on December 20, 2012
Genevieve Valentine also does a funny and interesting roundup/commentary of the pageant outfits.
Strangely, the person I know who does roundups of ice skating costumes doesn't do one. Perhaps there's only so much illusion netting and sequins one person can bear.
posted by PussKillian at 12:31 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Strangely, the person I know who does roundups of ice skating costumes doesn't do one. Perhaps there's only so much illusion netting and sequins one person can bear.
posted by PussKillian at 12:31 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
This and Dlisted makes me want to start my own blog of snark. I'm leaving out way too much good material. FB is limited.
posted by stormpooper at 12:32 PM on December 20, 2012
posted by stormpooper at 12:32 PM on December 20, 2012
PussKillian: Genevieve Valentine also does a funny and interesting roundup/commentary of the pageant outfits.
"Greece, you have one job. A chiton is your job. What is this."
Fantastic.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:43 PM on December 20, 2012
"Greece, you have one job. A chiton is your job. What is this."
Fantastic.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:43 PM on December 20, 2012
Curacao clearly took USA 2010 and stepped it up a notch.
THE CLAWS. No one else has claws.
posted by flaterik at 1:02 PM on December 20, 2012
THE CLAWS. No one else has claws.
posted by flaterik at 1:02 PM on December 20, 2012
I friggin' lost it at Mexico.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:04 PM on December 20, 2012
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:04 PM on December 20, 2012
the universe seems to prefer brown hair and a light tan over all other types!
I was also struck by how similar most of the contestants looked, although perhaps it's really just the similar makeup and hair styling.
Mexico was my favorite.
posted by pravit at 1:13 PM on December 20, 2012
I was also struck by how similar most of the contestants looked, although perhaps it's really just the similar makeup and hair styling.
Mexico was my favorite.
posted by pravit at 1:13 PM on December 20, 2012
Mexico, I guess, was going for the Magic Eye approach.
You really have to look hard to see there is a person in all that embellishment.
I enjoyed this so much. I gasped, I laughed, I dropped my jaw in amazement. This is Eurovision meets Mardi Gras meets Halloween. I wish I had an occasion to wear something like one of these amazeball creations. Although some, like Curacoa and Argentina, make my back hurt just looking at them.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:17 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
You really have to look hard to see there is a person in all that embellishment.
I enjoyed this so much. I gasped, I laughed, I dropped my jaw in amazement. This is Eurovision meets Mardi Gras meets Halloween. I wish I had an occasion to wear something like one of these amazeball creations. Although some, like Curacoa and Argentina, make my back hurt just looking at them.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:17 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
I don't think I'd ever desired to wear women's clothes* until now. I JUST WANT TO BE A PRETTY PRETTY STRIPPER NINJA
*""
posted by threeants at 1:20 PM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
*""
posted by threeants at 1:20 PM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Today is my birthday. And this is the best present I could have asked for!
posted by dame at 2:09 PM on December 20, 2012
posted by dame at 2:09 PM on December 20, 2012
I'd love to party with Miss Bahamas! And I have no idea what it says about me, but as a straight woman, I am most turned on by Miss Ukraine. She's so dashing and capable-looking!
posted by Squeak Attack at 2:41 PM on December 20, 2012
posted by Squeak Attack at 2:41 PM on December 20, 2012
I think she should've dressed as a syrup bandit.
posted by elizardbits at 4:35 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by elizardbits at 4:35 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
or ikea monkey
posted by elizardbits at 4:35 PM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 4:35 PM on December 20, 2012 [4 favorites]
Hey now, she could have dressed up like one of the kids in the hall dressed up like a patent contestant.
posted by The Whelk at 4:50 PM on December 20, 2012
posted by The Whelk at 4:50 PM on December 20, 2012
I can't believe they left out Miss Vietnam. That was the best one!
Miss Ukraine is a big mustache away from burning down your whole fucking village.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:34 PM on December 20, 2012
Miss Ukraine is a big mustache away from burning down your whole fucking village.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:34 PM on December 20, 2012
This is the prettiest women (by some standards, anyway) from a bunch of countries dressing up in a costume that is as culturally appropriate as the ones the Soul Caliber characters wear (with all the extra unnecessary skin implied), except instead of the pseudo-fighting-wear stuff they're all dressed up as the queens and princesses of some imaginary alternate universe where mainstream fashion is basically taken entirely from the kind of costumes that are worn in anime and manga, but not even regular stuff but stuff like Ah, My Goddess and its ilk.
Basically what I am saying is that I am 100% OK with the tackiness of these outfits and think they are actually pretty awesome. My problems with it are with the beauty pageant thing in general (and standards of beauty that are harmful and sort of boring to boot), but seriously, some of these are pretty great. Not quite as great as the Girl On Fire thing that Katniss wore IN MY HEAD AFTER I READ THE BOOK BECAUSE THE MOVIE ONE WAS NOT THAT GREAT but sort of conceptually similar and generally entertaining. A+. Snark is amusing, but not really necessary, because these are the entertaining ridiculous costume designs I expect from my science fiction and am constantly disappointed by.
posted by NoraReed at 5:48 PM on December 20, 2012
Basically what I am saying is that I am 100% OK with the tackiness of these outfits and think they are actually pretty awesome. My problems with it are with the beauty pageant thing in general (and standards of beauty that are harmful and sort of boring to boot), but seriously, some of these are pretty great. Not quite as great as the Girl On Fire thing that Katniss wore IN MY HEAD AFTER I READ THE BOOK BECAUSE THE MOVIE ONE WAS NOT THAT GREAT but sort of conceptually similar and generally entertaining. A+. Snark is amusing, but not really necessary, because these are the entertaining ridiculous costume designs I expect from my science fiction and am constantly disappointed by.
posted by NoraReed at 5:48 PM on December 20, 2012
Of course, you know why Germany always has to go conservative with these kinds of things...rhymes with shmingtime for shmitler...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:54 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:54 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
I want Miss Ukraine to throw me across the back of her mighty steed and carry me off into the sunset for a night of glorious ravishment.
don't judge me
posted by elizardbits at 6:23 PM on December 20, 2012 [9 favorites]
don't judge me
posted by elizardbits at 6:23 PM on December 20, 2012 [9 favorites]
I am judging you. Positively.
posted by Justinian at 9:34 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Justinian at 9:34 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
I aspire to be a Peruvian warrior goddess when I grow up. Barring that, a Japanese princess.
But those Peruvian boots are the bomb.
posted by Superplin at 9:36 PM on December 20, 2012
But those Peruvian boots are the bomb.
posted by Superplin at 9:36 PM on December 20, 2012
I want Miss Ukraine to throw me across the back of her mighty steed and carry me off into the sunset for a night of glorious ravishment.
I would watch that. Not for pervy reasons, mind you, I'm just dead curious what the process is to take these costumes on and off.
posted by NoraReed at 9:46 PM on December 20, 2012
I would watch that. Not for pervy reasons, mind you, I'm just dead curious what the process is to take these costumes on and off.
posted by NoraReed at 9:46 PM on December 20, 2012
Oh god, Ireland's cheapo polyester travesty does not compare well at all to the likes of Vietnam's stunning raw silk brocade.
posted by yasaman at 10:32 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by yasaman at 10:32 PM on December 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Miss India, Miss Albania and Miss Bulgaria had the best costumes. Miss Ireland, WTF??? If all else fails, for a solo dress, a properly cut velvet dress with a hand-made Irish lace collar is what to do. Do not use that iron on or pain on crap on polyester satin! Ever.
Like Miss Mexico as well.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:46 PM on December 20, 2012
Like Miss Mexico as well.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:46 PM on December 20, 2012
I've just remembered the time Miss Great Britain did sexy Beefeater... that was classy
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:45 AM on December 21, 2012
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:45 AM on December 21, 2012
If you did not check some of the other links then you may have missed the Surprise! under Romania's cape.
I felt bad for Germany. Not only does she have to wear her peasant girl outfit amidst a crowd of shimmering peacocks, she has ugly shoes as well.
I think Croatia takes the cake for least impact-- everyone else has bejeweled scepters, stuffed birds, golden claws, and even swords to flourish, she has a flag-- and a tiny one at that. Could they have not given her a flag at least as big as her head? It makes me think it was a last minute addition, as in: "Here. You need something to wave. I stole this off of the table decorations."
The big head scratcher to me is GB. What happened to her costume? The way it fits around her middle is tragic-- the bizarre fit plus the red stripe make her look as wide as a teletubby.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:58 AM on December 21, 2012
I felt bad for Germany. Not only does she have to wear her peasant girl outfit amidst a crowd of shimmering peacocks, she has ugly shoes as well.
I think Croatia takes the cake for least impact-- everyone else has bejeweled scepters, stuffed birds, golden claws, and even swords to flourish, she has a flag-- and a tiny one at that. Could they have not given her a flag at least as big as her head? It makes me think it was a last minute addition, as in: "Here. You need something to wave. I stole this off of the table decorations."
The big head scratcher to me is GB. What happened to her costume? The way it fits around her middle is tragic-- the bizarre fit plus the red stripe make her look as wide as a teletubby.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:58 AM on December 21, 2012
These are pretty much all amazing and fantastic. The commentary blows, though. Oh boy! Gay men calling women sluts and whores! How novel!
posted by whitneyarner at 8:02 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by whitneyarner at 8:02 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
One of the (multiple) weird things about GB's costume is that it looks like the designers went "Omigod, everybody knows you can't have a red stripe or blotch over a woman's crotch — put a blue insert into it there!" Which just looks even weirder.
posted by Lexica at 11:01 AM on December 21, 2012
posted by Lexica at 11:01 AM on December 21, 2012
I am impressed by how many of them have swords. Is this a thing? Though I would like to see them branch out a bit in their weaponry choices. Maybe a mace next year, or a crossbow?
posted by speicus at 12:46 AM on December 22, 2012
posted by speicus at 12:46 AM on December 22, 2012
I don't understand why half that commentary isn't seen as incredibly misogynistic. I expected a huge MeTa thread, not 100 lighthearted comments.
posted by Bugbread at 4:15 PM on December 25, 2012
posted by Bugbread at 4:15 PM on December 25, 2012
(Clarification: I'm not saying y'all are wrong. MetaFilter is generally pretty sensitive to misogyny, so if y'all aren't seeing it, I guess it isn't there. I just don't understand what makes this non-misogynistic.)
posted by Bugbread at 5:11 PM on December 25, 2012
posted by Bugbread at 5:11 PM on December 25, 2012
Bugbread: "(Clarification: I'm not saying y'all are wrong. MetaFilter is generally pretty sensitive to misogyny, so if y'all aren't seeing it, I guess it isn't there. I just don't understand what makes this non-misogynistic.)"
I think that many (most?) of us are familiar with Tom & Lorenzo's general style, and the fact that they use the exact same language when talking about men. At least for me, this just falls into the category of "them doing their thing," so it doesn't really register as misogynistic at all.
I can see how it could come across differently if this were someone's first encounter with their writing, though.
posted by Superplin at 6:09 PM on December 25, 2012
I think that many (most?) of us are familiar with Tom & Lorenzo's general style, and the fact that they use the exact same language when talking about men. At least for me, this just falls into the category of "them doing their thing," so it doesn't really register as misogynistic at all.
I can see how it could come across differently if this were someone's first encounter with their writing, though.
posted by Superplin at 6:09 PM on December 25, 2012
Actually, I think that this was particularly offensive of T&L, who are often close to sexism in their commentary, but usually just miss it. This time I think they hit sexist.
posted by jeather at 8:02 PM on December 25, 2012
posted by jeather at 8:02 PM on December 25, 2012
I guess I have a hard time criticizing their commentary as being sexist when we're talking about the Miss Universe pageant. If it were Model U.N., I'd have a very different perspective.
posted by Superplin at 10:11 PM on December 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Superplin at 10:11 PM on December 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
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posted by Think_Long at 9:57 AM on December 20, 2012 [2 favorites]