Yuletide blasphemies intoned by a fire

December 21, 2012 6:42 AM

Just in time for Christmas: Bargain Bin Blasphemy.
posted by jbickers (23 comments total)

KVLT
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:52 AM on December 21, 2012

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is what my friend Stoatie does at the charity shop he works for in Stoke Newington.
posted by Kitteh at 6:55 AM on December 21, 2012

I made it to Grim Nabors before the chuckling became too violent for me to continue.
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 7:19 AM on December 21, 2012

bells on dead wolves toll
making spirits writhe
how grim it is to chant and moan
a reaping song tonight
posted by theodolite at 7:24 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

The logos are too legible though.
posted by Artw at 7:31 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

Screamy Grant sounds way better than the original...
posted by artichoke_enthusiast at 7:34 AM on December 21, 2012 [5 favorites]

Completely lost it at "Judd, Jury, and Executioner."
posted by troika at 7:45 AM on December 21, 2012 [7 favorites]

silent night
deadly night
those not dead
are in fright
burning virgin
raped and defiled
helpless infants
their corpses high piled
sleep in cold earthly graves
sleeeep in cold earthly graves
posted by cthuljew at 7:47 AM on December 21, 2012

I just hope someone is able to forward this one to Anita Bryant.
posted by TedW at 7:50 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

I had plans to have an extra-productive last day of work. Theyve been replaced by sitting at my desk and giggling at these.
posted by Fig at 7:52 AM on December 21, 2012

I really really want to see this... but tumblr's blocked by our firewall.
The Man hates laughter.
posted by DigDoug at 8:03 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

God Rest Ye Deadly, Gentlemen
posted by Copronymus at 8:28 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

When I Say Jesus, You Say Die made me snort.
posted by bluejayway at 8:45 AM on December 21, 2012

Also.
posted by cthuljew at 8:54 AM on December 21, 2012 [3 favorites]

I really really want to see this... but tumblr's blocked by our firewall.

Does the coral cache version work for you?
posted by inigo2 at 8:56 AM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

Of course, I sent this immediately to the person who sent me this.


I expect to be basking in waves of adoration any minute now.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:18 AM on December 21, 2012

Copronymus: OMG ROTT! I thought I was the only one who ever played this game.
posted by cthuljew at 9:22 AM on December 21, 2012

I love how circumscribed the black metal aesthetic is. All the creator needed was a black pen and whiteout (and an understanding of the genre).
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:35 AM on December 21, 2012

OMG ROTT! I thought I was the only one who ever played this game.

I found out Googling those clips that they're making a sequel. It'd better have the Excalibat and Dog Mode.
posted by Copronymus at 1:22 PM on December 21, 2012

Look, I'm sorry as hell, but there's no other way to say it: "King Crosby - Seasons of Evil" is, well, it's just.... divine.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 1:28 PM on December 21, 2012

That Grand Funk album is actually really good.

And I would totally pick up that Flatt & Scruggs album and listen to it unironically.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 4:00 PM on December 21, 2012

Finally my feelings about Christmas are expressed in old record jackets.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 6:41 PM on December 22, 2012

Ha! Rise of the Triad was the only FPS that would run on my dad's work laptop when he had it home on weekends! I loved it!
posted by klangklangston at 8:08 PM on January 15, 2013