It's a house blend
September 7, 2013 10:24 AM   Subscribe

 
If there is not a scene in this exact vein in The Avengers: Whichever Movie Has Thanos As the Villain, then Joss Whedon will have cheated us all.
posted by nicebookrack at 10:29 AM on September 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Man, now I want a lot of other supervillains to carpool together. It seems like this could be a new genre, like the buddy-cop land.
posted by corb at 10:44 AM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I need a cuppa of that. Also, I'd pay a lot of money to see Deadpool carpooling with anybody for hours.
posted by kurosawa's pal at 10:46 AM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


This person needs to be head editor at DC.
posted by happyroach at 11:02 AM on September 7, 2013 [8 favorites]


I always mentally note THIS COFFEE IS for the first cup of the morning ever since I saw that.

I would love to see a Thanos/Darkseid Odd Couple.

Thanos: YOU FAILED TO PUT THE YOGURT BACK IN THE REFRIGERATOR, THUS RUINING MY BREAKFAST SMOOTHIE.

Darkseid: WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOUR YOGURT, YOUR FROZEN FRUIT, YOUR POMEGRANATE JUICE, ARE ALL DARKSEID? WHEN THERE IS ONE BANANA. ONE MELON. ONE WILL. ONE LIFE THAT IS DARKSEID. WILL YOU BE THE ENEMY OF ALL EXISTENCE, THEN?

Thanos: YOU'RE PAYING FOR SMOOTHIE KING.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:03 AM on September 7, 2013 [46 favorites]


Page 2, panel 4 is full of toothy grimace delight.
posted by factory123 at 11:09 AM on September 7, 2013


Robot Chicken: Villian Car Pool
posted by Daddy-O at 11:15 AM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think I like Marvel comics parodies better than I like Marvel comics or their movies right now.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 11:27 AM on September 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


This person needs to be head editor at DC.

And based on recent events, it seems like an orange mocha frappucino would be making better decisions that the current head editor at DC.

Bonus content.

posted by maryr at 11:41 AM on September 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


This is approximately eleventy billion times better than the Darkseid comic DC published this week.
posted by bebrogued at 11:42 AM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I can only imagine Mongul is tied up in the boot.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:53 AM on September 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


This person needs to be head editor at DC.

Someone who appreciates fun, lightheartedness, and comedy would be a poor fit...we must take DC comic books very seriously...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 12:01 PM on September 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


This reminds me of the Darkseid appearances in Ambush Bug. Also, this should totally be a series:

"On November 13, Thanatos was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from Death. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that someday, he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Darkseid. Sometime earlier, Darkseid's planet had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two supervillains share an apartment without driving each other crazy?"
posted by happyroach at 12:06 PM on September 7, 2013 [8 favorites]


Ugh- never carpool with Brainiac. Guy never shuts up.
posted by Alexander J. Luthor at 12:07 PM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


And, with his Omega force eye-blasts thingies (not so much a Darkseid guy, although I would consider having Thanos' conceptual babies), the coffee never gets cold!

(And for your Brainiac problem, there's a FAQ on finding his mute button. He tried to DMCA it.)
posted by Samizdata at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2013


If there is not a scene in this exact vein in The Avengers: Whichever Movie Has Thanos As the Villain, then Joss Whedon will have cheated us all.

Or a web series: Supervillains in Cars Getting Coffee.
posted by Cash4Lead at 12:17 PM on September 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Darkseid calling Thanos is a bit rich.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:29 PM on September 7, 2013


Is it blacker than the blackest black times infinity?
posted by Renoroc at 12:58 PM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


For those of you clamoring for more, Justin Jordan is a pro comic writer.

The Strange Talent of Luther Strode and the upcoming Dead Body Road.

He also writes a couple of books for DC comics. (Nothing with Darkseid, as far as I know.)

(None of this is to take away from the artist, but since the FPP is a link to his site, you can find more stuff of his on your own.)
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 1:12 PM on September 7, 2013




I particularly like the fact they have one of those hula girls sitting on the dashboard.
posted by wittgenstein at 3:59 PM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I can only imagine Mongul is tied up in the boot.

(Because Mongul is DC's ripoff of Thanos who is Marvel's ripoff of DC's Darksied.)
posted by straight at 4:13 PM on September 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Is that Doctor Strange's house they're in front of in the last panel? That's a rather distinctive window on the second floor.
posted by KingEdRa at 4:32 PM on September 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


That's strange, Darkseid NEVER asks for a second cup of coffee back on Apokalips.
posted by KingEdRa at 4:34 PM on September 7, 2013 [10 favorites]


Coffee is one way to go, but obviously the anti-life equation should be a mixed drink. Probably something with jagermeister in it. Of course, this leads us to a whole range, nay, a themed bar full of drinks:

The Red Sun of Krypton: slows you down, strips you of your powers. Faygo Red mixed with cough syrup? (this might not be the high end theme bar you were looking for)

The Yellow Sun of Earth: something mixed with tons of redbull.

The Green Lantern: something glowing, something that takes a hell of a lot of willpower to finish.

This could go on.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:23 PM on September 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


The Green Lantern: something glowing, something that takes a hell of a lot of willpower to finish.

The Bud Light Lime-A-Rita?
posted by Redfield at 5:50 PM on September 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


Sounds good, Ghidorah.

Then, at the end of the night, they serve you a hard-hitting Final Crisis and you retcon the whole evening to your friends the next day.
posted by Wataki at 5:53 PM on September 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


The Flash: vodka, grapefruit juice, (yellow or pink), dash grenadine (optional), splash soda.
posted by vrakatar at 9:19 PM on September 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is that Doctor Strange's house they're in front of in the last panel? That's a rather distinctive window on the second floor.

Slow, respectful clap for the level of nerdery in that comment.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:58 PM on September 7, 2013 [5 favorites]


You think hearing about his coffee is tedious, just hope he doesn't start brewing his own beer...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 4:45 AM on September 8, 2013


Squirrel Girl and Mr. Miracle took a swing through the Dunkies' drive-thru instead... costing them precious minutes!

Also they had to go back when Scott Free realized a "regular" meant "extra cream and sugar" and not "black."
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:17 AM on September 8, 2013


(Because Mongul is DC's ripoff of Thanos who is Marvel's ripoff of DC's Darksied.)

That's a company-centric way of looking at a creator-centric issue; companies do not create characters, my friend. Caaaaan't do it. Not creators. No. In fact, Jack Kirby created Darkseid while at DC, and Jim Starlin created Thanos while at Marvel. Jim Starlin then went to work for DC, where he created Mongul, who is only a rip-off of Thanos if one can rip off one's own creation. However, one could argue that both Thanos and Mongul are rip-offs of Darkseid.

The More You Know ~ *
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:55 AM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Apparently Thanos was just going be "evil Metron," but supposedly Roy Thomas told Jim Starlin, "If you're going to rip off one of the New Gods, you should at least rip off the most interesting one."

Really, Thanos is like the Hot Topic version of Darkseid. He's a dude with no hobbies except obsessing over Teh Girl who insists that no one else can understand his deep, true lerv for Death. And Death usually has "her" own stuff going on, "she's" got, like, a job and a "life" of "her" own, man. Back off.

Darkseid is an avatar of Totalitarianism, to the point that all his minions are extensions of that -- you have the propagandist Glorious Godfrey, the military fetishist Vundabar, the torturer Desaad, Granny Goodness as the indoctrination of the youth, and so on. Thanos is a Cosmic Nice Guy who gets to occasionally live out his fantasies of wounded omnipotence because he's Jim Starlin's pet.
posted by kewb at 7:14 AM on September 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


The Flash: vodka, grapefruit juice, (yellow or pink), dash grenadine (optional), splash soda.

Don't forget the liquid ex lax! (cuz it makes you go fast!)
posted by ian1977 at 9:36 AM on September 8, 2013


Coffee is one way to go, but obviously the anti-life equation should be a mixed drink. Probably something with jagermeister in it

The anti-life equation is 4LOKO. Why do you think they had to dial it back?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:39 AM on September 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Jim Starlin, although a good writer, has never really come out from under Kirby's shadow; even though he's done these huge cosmic events (in one, Thanos killed off literally every other person in the Marvel Universe; they eventually got better), he still hasn't really come up with anything (that I'm aware of, anyway) that isn't either obviously Kirbyesque or a riff off a standard SFF trope. This applies particularly to his Darkseid fixation; in addition to Thanos and Mongul, he had the Lord High Papal, the villain in Dreadstar, which (as you might guess just from the title) is basically D&D IN SPAAAAACE: dude with a magic sword, cyborg wizard, blind telepath woman with a tragic past, dude with a cat's head, and comic relief. I believe that at one point Robot Space Jesus even makes an appearance. Naturally, he's the one that DC had kill off all the New Gods prior to their Final Crisis event.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:52 AM on September 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Goddamn Thanos, this is some serious gourmet shit. Me an' Desaad woulda been satisfied with freeze-dried Tasters Choice. You spring this gourmet fuckin' shit on us. What flavor is this?
posted by entropicamericana at 10:41 AM on September 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


What I'm getting from this is that a superhero themed bar would have terrible, terrible drinks.
posted by maryr at 11:55 AM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Swamp Thing: Jagermiester, green Chatruesse, lemon juice, sparkling wine, shaken.
posted by vrakatar at 6:09 PM on September 8, 2013


Thanos is a Cosmic Nice Guy who gets to occasionally live out his fantasies of wounded omnipotence

Avengers 3: Friendzoned by Death!
posted by straight at 6:30 PM on September 8, 2013


Oh good, now I have somewhere to put this.
posted by Biblio at 7:59 PM on September 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Kaiju-fighter: It's just a Jägerbomb with Pepsi Blue (or Jones Bubblegum? some blue soda) instead of Red Bull.

(See? TERRIBLE drinks.)
posted by maryr at 8:47 AM on September 9, 2013


The Super-Adaptoid: Sour cream and rye.
posted by vrakatar at 3:01 PM on September 9, 2013


maryr: "The Kaiju-fighter: It's just a Jägerbomb with Pepsi Blue (or Jones Bubblegum? some blue soda) instead of Red Bull.

(See? TERRIBLE drinks.)
"

Terrible WITHOUT the Red Bull. They are supposed to give you energy to do drunken things faster than before.

My contribution? The Flash.

Red Bull, the cheapest nastiest vodka or rum available, Jones Turkey Soda, and the most garlicky pickle brine you can find.

Why the Flash you ask?

One way or the other, you are going to hit the bathroom so quickly you will invoke the Speed Force.
posted by Samizdata at 6:29 PM on September 10, 2013


The Blob - Tomato soup and Everclear. "Nothing moves the Blob. Nothing hurts the Blob. Once the Blob's got you, you stay got." The only drink that can deck Colossus.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:33 PM on September 10, 2013


Actually, no, I'm wrong - the "Hulk Out Horseman" can also lay waste to poor Pitr: Goldschlager, Jaegermeister, Vodka and Mountain Dew.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:40 PM on September 10, 2013


« Older Wow, so much detail! Uuhhh, wup woops! ...just my...   |   Wealth Distribution and the Free Market Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments