I'm Beginning To Eat The Slice
December 7, 2013 8:18 AM   Subscribe

Do you like Pizza? Do you like The Velvet Underground? Then you might like Mccaulay Culkin's new pizza-themed Velvet Underground tribute band.
posted by Fuzzy Monster (51 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
I think it's important to remember the relatively easy availability of high quality weed in NYC at the moment.

( call me if Kirean shows up.)
posted by The Whelk at 8:22 AM on December 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Taste the dip, in love not given lightly...
posted by Flashman at 8:30 AM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Venus In Calzones.
posted by The Whelk at 8:30 AM on December 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


well... that's the healthiest picture of him that I've stumbled across in a long time.
Reduced to novelty cover band eh?
posted by edgeways at 8:31 AM on December 7, 2013


This is great! I want some pizza!
posted by oceanjesse at 8:36 AM on December 7, 2013


The seriousness of their faces in the photo juxtaposed with the subject matter made me laugh. Oh, to have the luxury to be in a pizza-themed band!
posted by Hopeful and Cynical at 8:38 AM on December 7, 2013


Take a walk on the Sicilian side.
posted by The Whelk at 8:42 AM on December 7, 2013


CHEESE DAYS!
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 8:42 AM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


15 minutes of fame or your money back!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:42 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


If they had the space ( or any kind of vision) Two Boots would hire them as a one time house band.
posted by The Whelk at 8:43 AM on December 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


“Cheese Days.” (THAT LAST ONE IS TECHNICALLY A NICO SONG AND EVEN MORE TECHNICALLY A JACKSON BROWNE SONG, MACAULAY CULKIN. EXERCISE MORE QUALITY CONTROL OVER YOUR LITTLE PIZZA PARODIES, PLEASE).

Thank you for reminding me how much I love the AV Club.
posted by brand-gnu at 8:46 AM on December 7, 2013


This is easily the most flawless piece of art since Home Alone 2.
posted by naju at 8:46 AM on December 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Reduced to novelty cover band eh?

Elevated. Culkin probably has fuck you money. If being in a Velvet Underground/Pizza band tickles him, he has plenty of time and resources to spend.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 8:50 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Somewhere on ILX there's an amazing thread of Velvet Underground-themed ice cream flavors, like "White Light / White Chocolate" and "Black Raspberry Angel Food Death Song." The best one was "I Found A Raisin."
posted by escabeche at 9:05 AM on December 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Thin Crust/Whole Wheat
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:06 AM on December 7, 2013 [6 favorites]


Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
posted by MoonOrb at 9:07 AM on December 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Mccaulay Culkin is one of those names you see on Metafilter and fear it's an obituary post. He's looked terrible in the past few years, but glad to see in these photos he looks healthy and happy.

Is part of the joke of these recordings that the sound quality is even worse than the debut Velvet Underground album?
posted by Nelson at 9:11 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


My husband's friend Phoebe is in that band. Cool beans.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:26 AM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


annnnnnnnchooovies
will be the death of me
posted by infinitewindow at 9:34 AM on December 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


It's just a Perfect pie

And I'm glad I shared it with you
posted by The Whelk at 9:39 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait, why does the demo on the linked site have the "weird al" tag? Generic parody marker?
posted by DanSachs at 9:43 AM on December 7, 2013


Not many people bought a pie from Papa Pasqualor's Pizzeria, but everyone who did started their own pizzeria.
posted by mean square error at 9:49 AM on December 7, 2013 [12 favorites]


You shouldn't do that
Don't you know you'll mess the carpet
Oh, just like Famous Ray said.
posted by LionIndex at 10:12 AM on December 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


My husband's friend Phoebe is in that band.

Is she the one doing the Nico voice? Because damn, that's actually a really good Nico voice.
posted by oinopaponton at 10:15 AM on December 7, 2013


Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir.
posted by elsietheeel at 10:15 AM on December 7, 2013


the perfect choice for a song about masochism
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on December 7, 2013


Personal and the Pizzas is still my favorite pizza-themed band...
posted by Juliet Banana at 10:30 AM on December 7, 2013


I wish I had enough money in the bank to pursue every stupid idea I had instead of, you know, working and shit.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:33 AM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir.

Unless you plan on eating a whole pizza in one sitting, in which case they are monumentally easier.
posted by LionIndex at 10:41 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


That makes it sound like I'm calling him a twat. I'm not. I'm saying I'm jealous and I wish I could do the exact same kind of shit. I have fantastic stupid ideas. Fantastic.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:42 AM on December 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


LionIndex : every pizza is a personal pizza if you have the will to make it so.
posted by The Whelk at 10:45 AM on December 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Wanna see me shotgun this?"
posted by wobh at 11:12 AM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Don't judge.
posted by LionIndex at 11:13 AM on December 7, 2013


Calzones are pointless.

No, it's pizza that's pointless. Calzones have two points.
posted by Nelson at 11:20 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


At least it's better then his rapper phase .
posted by mediocre at 11:20 AM on December 7, 2013


'Cause everybody knows
The things she bakes to please
With just a little cheese ...

(I wonder if Beyoncé was coming from one of his shows?)
posted by octobersurprise at 11:34 AM on December 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's not that you need fuck you money to be able to do this. It's that, if you're McCauley Culkin, you can make more fuck you money by doing it.
posted by klanawa at 11:34 AM on December 7, 2013


Does he have fuck you money though? I mean, it was a pretty big deal when he divorced himself from his parents for mismanaging the certainly-of-fuck-you-money-quanitity monies so woefully. And by that point, his acting career was already more or less over. Could what was left really be enough to qualify as fuck you money? I've often thought he probably just lives on the good will of trust funded NYC bohemians who like him slash get a kick out of having him around.
posted by mediocre at 11:44 AM on December 7, 2013


When I showed up late to the Comic Arts Brooklyn after party, a bunch of my friends tried to describe this band that had just finished playing and it took about ten minutes and four corroborating accounts before I would believe they weren't all pulling my leg.
posted by milk white peacock at 11:53 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cheeses, help me find my proper place.
posted by scruss at 11:56 AM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I hope he changes his name to Macaulzone Culkin just to spite elsietheeel.
posted by mannequito at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2013


All Tomorrow's Pizza Parties
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 12:58 PM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


WAT
posted by clvrmnky at 1:03 PM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


We're gonna have a real good pie together
posted by Flashman at 1:15 PM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


They should have released this when pizza was cool on tumblr like 2 years ago
posted by Teakettle at 1:20 PM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Lou Reed looks down on his beloved New York from Heaven.

"What the fuuuu...?"
posted by mcmile at 1:49 PM on December 7, 2013


Severin your servant comes with pies, in 30 minutes or less
Tip him, mistress, and warm his heart...
posted by anthom at 3:20 PM on December 7, 2013


Chewy chewy, chewy crust like leather
posted by item at 4:21 PM on December 7, 2013


I sense a collaboration in the making.
posted by alexei at 5:51 PM on December 7, 2013


I'm picturing a rewrite of "The Gift" in which Waldo ships himself to Marsha in a huge pizza box delivered by a pizza driver, and then she absent mindedly cuts him with a knife after complaining that Papa John's never bothers to slice their pizzas properly.
posted by ardgedee at 6:41 PM on December 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Third verse, Sweet Tomatoes:

Some people, they like Chipotle
And other people, they have to cook
(Heh! Watch me now!)
And there's even some evil mothers
Well they're gonna tell you your favorite slice is just dirt
You know, that deep dish is a casserole
And that Papa Gino's need to die
And you know, New York is the only place
And that you don't know a good pie!

Well, everyone who's ever had a heart
They can knead some dough and bake it!
Or just buy some ala carte
There's no way you could forsake it!
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:38 PM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


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