"Asymmetrical princess-cut, black-metal hip-hop lederhosen."
April 15, 2015 12:41 PM   Subscribe

 
See also: Fashion experts weigh in on Cid's various looks.

Also, Gita Jackson has an ongoing series on video games and fashion at Paste.
posted by kmz at 12:48 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


From the link kmz shared: Wardrobe Theory: Yuna From Final Fantasy X by Gita Jackson
posted by Fizz at 12:52 PM on April 15, 2015


Ridiculous choice of clothing aside, Tidus is one of Final Fantasy's more likable heroes.

Citation needed.
posted by davros42 at 12:53 PM on April 15, 2015 [9 favorites]


davros42, agreed. I am currently playing Final Fantasy X for the very first time on my Vita and good lord Tidus and his whining. Ugh....we get it, you have Daddy issues.
posted by Fizz at 12:55 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


That title quote is so Michael Kors as Project Runway judge.
posted by en forme de poire at 12:56 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


My husband and I have referred to that outfit as "five or six ugly outfits, cut and re-seamed at random." It's my favorite thing.
posted by tchemgrrl at 1:01 PM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


*Tim Gunn voice*

There's...a lot going on here. I find this very concerning.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:01 PM on April 15, 2015 [21 favorites]


It's like someone was told "Do Amano, but without the style."
posted by codacorolla at 1:03 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


He's friendly and helpful, and while his goofy eagerness can be cloying, it's a welcome change from the surly posturing that plagues other series protagonists.
Oh, snap!
posted by Gelatin at 1:06 PM on April 15, 2015


Can we talk about Rikku's shorts though? I want a pair of those shorts.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:08 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


It hurts my immersion in a video game if the character I play knows how to dress themselves.
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:17 PM on April 15, 2015 [12 favorites]


I just kept lol'ing over and over. Square fashion sense is a delightful world unto itself.
posted by naju at 1:18 PM on April 15, 2015


I just kept lol'ing over and over. Square fashion sense is a delightful world unto itself.

That world collided with our own in 2012:

To celebrate Final Fantasy's 25th anniversary, Square Enix has teamed up with Prada to produce a series of special images, using characters from the game to model menswear.
posted by Fizz at 1:21 PM on April 15, 2015


It’s more of an effort to think of Final Fantasy characters that don’t have appalling outfits and/or hairstyles.

Though now that I think about it, Yuna’s isn’t so bad. Except for the hairflip.
posted by dinty_moore at 1:23 PM on April 15, 2015


I put on my robe and wizard hat asymmetrical princess-cut, black-metal hip-hop lederhosen.
posted by oulipian at 1:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ah, yes. When my roommates and I picked up Final Fantasy X when it first came out, there was much discussion about how ridiculously dressed Tidus and Wakka were. Though we all generally agreed that Lulu's dress was pretty cool. So many belts!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:34 PM on April 15, 2015


Though we all generally agreed that Lulu's dress was pretty cool.

HOW DO HER BOOBS NOT JUST FALL OUT OF HER DRESS IN FACT ARE THEY EVEN IN THERE OR DID I PLAY THE PG-13 VERSION WHERE HER NIPPLES HAVE BEEN CENSORED BECAUSE THOSE GIRLS JUST SEEM LIKE THEY'RE ALWAYS OUT

Though I guess from a pure bizarro-WTF angle Lulu's dress is less so than Tidus and Wakka.
posted by chrominance at 1:42 PM on April 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


Oh, god, that's right. I forgot about the top half of Lulu's dress.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:49 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


*Tim Gunn voice*

There's...a lot going on here. I find this very concerning.


(as Michael Kors) "It's like what a slutty grandpa raver flight attendant would wear to walk his dog! And then the dog chewed off one of his pant legs!!!"
posted by en forme de poire at 1:52 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


I'm sort of disappointed that his shoes and socks match.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 1:52 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Lulu's victory animation was a real "What are yooou watching?" moment when my mom saw it.
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:58 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Cid in Final Fantasy 2 looks so badass I wish there was a movie where someone was wearing that outfit.
posted by gucci mane at 2:06 PM on April 15, 2015


can we just talk about how Morrigan's entire appearance is just WRPGifying Lulu for a minute? and how Fenris was pulled unceremoniously out of his role as a Final Fantasy protagonist with the serial numbers haphazardly rubbed off, half of the shoes removed, and the backstory (but not the personality) changed? thanks
posted by NoraReed at 2:08 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Actually, I was thinking of the Final Fantasy obsession with belts and Dorian's ... robes? Why are there so many belts in RPG's?
posted by dinty_moore at 2:12 PM on April 15, 2015


Non-utility belts!!

It's a thing in all genre stuff, I think, but there are different genre conventions. Superheroes get ones with huge numbers of pouches that are all exactly the same size and therefore unlikely to contain anything useful. JRPG characters get several of varying styles and colors slung around their hips as accessories. Sorceresses of all kinds in fantasy art get really cool beaded things that are a cross between belts and necklaces for hips (of which I have made several and am attempting to get to become a mainstream fashion accessory, because they are SUPER FUN, and they can add a nice bit of shape to some dresses). WRPG characters can use belts as bandoleers of sorts or as a sort of front harness for carrying a sword (or swords), staff, quiver or something else on one's back, which is what seems to be going on with Sera's and which I *think* is what Dorian's weird chest-belt-thing is supposed to be before the designers realized that having weapons inexplicably float on the character's backs with no visible holster is a Dragon Age series tradition more important than Mabari or Sandal. (His sleeve-belts are, I assume, to keep his ridiculous sleeve-pauldron-thingies out of the way when he's writing, because he cannot abide inkstains on his clothes, but he spends way too much time composing messages to Josie about what books he "needs" and taking notes on the Inquisition's paltry collection of texts to just be careful and hold his hands just so over the paper.)
posted by NoraReed at 2:32 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Lulu's outfit defies fucking gravity. Also, that stuffed animal is her weapon. Gah.

(On the plus side, hers was the only legendary weapon that I somehow stumbled across in the game. God bless that 1 MP cost.) Oh my god, it wasn't on her legendary weapon, I just somehow got it as an item drop? WHOA.
posted by maryr at 2:33 PM on April 15, 2015


good lord Tidus and his whining

SEYMOUR!
posted by Hoopo at 2:34 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


That Polygon article on Cid is the coolest fucking thing ever. Please more articles like that.
posted by azarbayejani at 2:36 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


...Whatever.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 2:38 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Also FFVI Raincoat Cid FTW
posted by Hoopo at 2:44 PM on April 15, 2015


Yuna, Auron, and Rikku all had reasonable outfits. (I mean, Auron also had the gratuitous belt syndrome, but otherwise pretty standard). I find it hard to judge Kimahri given the whole Ronso thing. I guess it was fine?

it wasn't on her legendary weapon,

Lulu actually had one of the most annoying celestial weapons, you had to dodge 200 consecutive lightning bolts in the Thunder Plains.
posted by thefoxgod at 2:45 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I don't think I got that.

You know who had the best FFX era clothes? PAINE. Although, yes, a couple of dresspheres do go astray.
posted by maryr at 2:57 PM on April 15, 2015


I really want to play FFX & X-2 now.
posted by maryr at 2:58 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


I was reading the Polygon article on Cid with a mild sense of dread, hoping it had been published prior to Final Fantasy 15. Sadly, no. I also hope the image in the article was the only one they showed those poor women, because I imagine they would have become physically violent over the thong sticking out of the booty shorts, or the "Hammer Head Full Service Station" logo.

Also, I hated Tidus as an 18 year old who was whiny enough with the weight of the world all on my own, and at this point I appear to have aged myself out of their character design target demographic.
posted by jermsplan at 2:58 PM on April 15, 2015


I would totally play a new version of X-2 where all three women get new haute couture-approved outfits. I would even consider turning the dressphere animations back on for them. (And then turn them back off again when I realize they take FOREVER.)
posted by chrominance at 3:08 PM on April 15, 2015


FFXV definitely went more realistic overall. The main characters definitely just look like the latest group out of YG Entertainment or something.
posted by thefoxgod at 3:15 PM on April 15, 2015


If there's anybody on Metafilter that wants to start doing a series along the lines of Something Awful's old Fashion SWAT articles, let me know. I'd be down for contributing.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 3:16 PM on April 15, 2015


What is the supposed trompe l'oeil in FF 12's Cid?
posted by kenko at 3:41 PM on April 15, 2015


Tidus is totally my favorite POV character, and Yuna is my favorite protagonist. FF costumes are epically unrealistic, though!

I briefly considered making a Lulu cosplay, manufacturing the belts from a lighter material and using a hoop skirt. You can pull it off, it just takes some sturdy foundational decisions. I might still do that, since I have the boobs for it.
posted by Deoridhe at 4:05 PM on April 15, 2015 [6 favorites]


Pockets of the same size = storage for ammunition clips, like the en-bloc (Mannlicher) clips used with the M1 Garand. Swiss example. Of course, it's nonsensical to have a belt for holding 5-8 round clips if your weapon is a modern assault rifle that takes 20-30-round detachable magazines, like an M-16 or a Kalashnikov.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 4:29 PM on April 15, 2015






Did they really leave out the Cid from Tactics?

That guy has a sword, not a hammer.
posted by kenko at 5:18 PM on April 15, 2015


I am so tired of over-the-top faux-criticism of Japanese games. It's been done to death, there are legitimately wonderful designers (Kazuma Kaneko) and Western game aesthetics are so much worse.

But it's never going to end because a week from now people will notice Star Ocean 5 and the Diamond Cut Peekaboo Dress, ugh ugh ugh.
posted by byanyothername at 6:03 PM on April 15, 2015


"Wardrobe Theory: Yuna From Final Fantasy X " mixes up Yuna's outfits, which is pretty lazy for an article that is supposed to be all about the clothing. The sleeves are part of her outfit in FFX, while the boots that look like they could be docs are from the gunner outfit in X-2.
posted by betweenthebars at 6:53 PM on April 15, 2015


Did they really leave out the Cid from Tactics?

That guy has a sword, not a hammer.


And no nose. I loved FFT, but it always bothered me a little that nobody had a nose.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 6:56 PM on April 15, 2015


It's been a while since I played a FF game. But I seem to remember a character whose outfit was constructed entirely from belts. (Also, I think she was a witch. If this helps.)

Anyway, your argument is invalid because Red XIII was hawt.
posted by sourcequench at 7:29 PM on April 15, 2015


(I guess I should have mentioned that, as far as I'm concerned, FFT is the only true FF game, and everything else is fanfic of it of varying quality)
posted by Navelgazer at 8:36 PM on April 15, 2015


But I seem to remember a character whose outfit was constructed entirely from belts. (Also, I think she was a witch. If this helps.)

Lulu?

http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Lulu?file=FFX_Lulu_Art.png
posted by betweenthebars at 8:57 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Pockets of the same size = storage for ammunition clips,

This is regularly done on characters who do not have guns, though. i noticed it particularly on awful rob liefield drawings of Captain America. (Vanilla Steve Cap, not BuckyCap.)
posted by NoraReed at 9:00 PM on April 15, 2015


if it's Liefield, they're probably pouches for extra teeth.
posted by happyroach at 6:43 AM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


happyroach: "if it's Liefield, they're probably pouches for extra teeth."

Or it's where they keep their feet.
posted by Drexen at 7:29 AM on April 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


> > ... outfit constructed entirely from belts.
> Lulu?

Yeah, I think that was her.

Unless there were multiple characters who wore nothing but belts, which given that we're talking about Final Fantasy is always a possibility.
posted by sourcequench at 10:37 AM on April 16, 2015


I loved FFT, but it always bothered me a little that nobody had a nose.

Well, I have a lot of experience telling patients bad news. So let me break it to him gently. Cid! You have no nose! Your nose is gone! You have no nose on your face! Where it is, I can't say, but on your face it's not!
posted by Navelgazer at 10:39 AM on April 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Everyone in the FFT universe smells terrible.
posted by codacorolla at 3:50 PM on April 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


"Wardrobe Theory: Yuna From Final Fantasy X " mixes up Yuna's outfits, which is pretty lazy for an article that is supposed to be all about the clothing. The sleeves are part of her outfit in FFX, while the boots that look like they could be docs are from the gunner outfit in X-2.

I think it's the odd placement of the two costume photos that screws things up (the X-2 costume is shown in the middle of the text about X, and vice-versa), but the text of the article in isolation seems to get the two costumes right.
posted by chrominance at 5:51 PM on April 21, 2015


Everyone in the FFT universe smells terrible.

What are you talking about, they don't smell at all!
posted by maryr at 8:09 AM on April 23, 2015


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