I'd hit that
July 2, 2015 8:47 AM   Subscribe

ValleyRecreational420 is a California prop 215 Patient who rolls out outrageous blunts
posted by growabrain (45 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
Good gravy. Some of those look like they hold more weed than I could smoke in a month if I tried.

(I mean, you know, were I in medical need of such)
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:55 AM on July 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


So are these like those fancy reality TV cakes that look all amazing but taste like crap and are difficult to eat?

God I hope not.
posted by griphus at 8:59 AM on July 2, 2015 [4 favorites]


I need that helicopter.
posted by saul wright at 9:08 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


I need that grappling hook..
posted by bird internet at 9:09 AM on July 2, 2015


This is like if that Blue Oyster shit met that Afghan Kush I had - and they had a baby. And then, meanwhile, that crazy Northern Light stuff I had and the Super Red Espresso Snowflake met and had a baby. And by some miracle, those two babies met and fucked - this would the shit that they birthed
posted by growabrain at 9:15 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Well, it sounds like they've got a reasonably good idea of how selective breeding works.
posted by contraption at 9:22 AM on July 2, 2015


Patient? I'll say. You need to be damned patient if this is what you do before burning one.
posted by three blind mice at 9:32 AM on July 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


So are they trying to win a "Who Can Waste the Most Weed" competition?

something something post-scarcity
posted by brennen at 9:35 AM on July 2, 2015


i do not approve of the fancy new stunt blunts
posted by boo_radley at 9:36 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Variety: Lunk Punts Blunt Stunt
posted by griphus at 9:39 AM on July 2, 2015 [14 favorites]


I am worried about the medical condition this artist has that requires so much pretty medication.
posted by chavenet at 9:45 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dude ... how high do you need to be to spend so much time on creative blunts when you could have spent that time on smoking them?
posted by TheLittlePrince at 9:47 AM on July 2, 2015


yeah stoned people probably never talk about drugs
posted by boo_radley at 9:48 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


what is that goo or oil on the end of some of those blunts? I need to know for the purpose of.....recreational drug use.
posted by GrapeApiary at 9:53 AM on July 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


the cigar tobacco makes it extra medicinal
posted by thelonius at 9:56 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


GrapeApiary: that would appear to be some sort of hash oil.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 10:02 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


That's cigar tobacco? I figured it was some kind of hemp-based rolling paper (does that exist?). All that tobacco would really harsh my buzz.
posted by Flashman at 10:18 AM on July 2, 2015


Smoke is pretty much smoke. The "stickier" the smoke, the more "tar." While nicotine itself suppresses natural expectorant activity, THC seems to encourage it. But that doesn't really matter that much. Hydrogen cyanide, carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, etc.. you can get those burning pretty much any natural fiber.
posted by hellphish at 10:49 AM on July 2, 2015


I can't imagine that person is putting tobacco, much less cigar tobacco, in those.
posted by griphus at 10:52 AM on July 2, 2015


Dude.... Wait. What?
posted by clvrmnky at 10:59 AM on July 2, 2015


I can't imagine that person is putting tobacco, much less cigar tobacco, in those

Isn't that what a "blunt" is? I think it's crazy, but people do it fact use tobacco in rolling up their joints.
posted by thelonius at 11:24 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


I had a ritual with friend that, whenever he would come back from college, we'd roll up an outrageous amount of weed into a single joint and get massively stoned. Like up to an entire quarter's worth in one comically large frankenstein cone of rolling papers. It took some serious rolling skill to get those assembled in a way that they would smoke and not fall apart.

This though, this is some next level shit.
posted by Panjandrum at 11:25 AM on July 2, 2015


I think only the wrapper is cigar tobacco. The ratio of wrapper to filler is like 100:1. Looks to me like you take a big hit off of one of those puppies and the cigar wrapper is the least of your issues. Would love to take one to the Chicago (#GD50) shows this weekend. Make a lot of friends walking down Shakedown Street with one of those.
posted by AugustWest at 11:26 AM on July 2, 2015


Isn't that what a "blunt" is?

Around here that just means its in a cigar wrapper. Save for Israelis/Europeans, I don't know anyone who puts tobacco in there and even then no one ever uses cigar tobacco.
posted by griphus at 11:43 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


I bet it's mostly labrador, man.
posted by NoMich at 12:01 PM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Spliffs have tobacco, blunts don't. 'Joint' can be either.
posted by anagrama at 12:02 PM on July 2, 2015


A blunt is generally rolled using a "cigar" wrapper. I use quotes, because we're not talking about good cigars, here, we're generally talking about Swisher Sweets. Spliffs are rolled in cigarette paper, but have loose cigarette tobacco included with the cannabis. So, they both have tobacco in different ways.

And no, blunts are not uncommon in the US. They tend to be associated with hip hop culture, though, so if you don't have friends into hip hop, you may not have seen them. I've never actually seen a spliff, though, and had the impression they fell out of fashion in the 80s...

C'mon guys, I thought you were chill.
posted by gilrain at 12:19 PM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


"Spliffs have tobacco, blunts don't."

Terminology might be different round your parts, but here (a major PNW city with legal cannabis) a "spliff" is a hand-rolled cigarette with a mixture of tobacco and cannabis and a blunt is one of two things: a hollowed out cigar (usually Optimos, Black and Milds or Al Capone Sweets) filled with cannabis or a blunt is a large cannabis cigar rolled with a blunt wrapper.

In my circles a lot of folks think you're weird and old school if you roll a blunt starting with a cigar and not a wrapper. Every convenience store with tobacco products here carries the blunt wrappers now and it's way easier to get a good result without any practice when you use a wrapper.

I smoked thousands of spliffs in my youth because with enough of a cover of cigarette smokers you're completely invisible. Especially if you always are the person smoking a rolley. Got some good memories of Samson-based spliffs and the woman who turned me on to them.

Anyhow, for those who haven't handled them, a "blunt wrapper" is somewhat like the processed pink meat goo of the tobacco industry: composed of a sort of nicotine and tar saturated paper made from tobacco leaves they are typically flavoured heavily with added sugars and come moist and pliable inside of an airtight mylar or foil package. I don't smoke blunts practically at all these days but I can see a day in the future when a friend gets nostalgic and we need to go smoke a grape blunt behind some bleachers, or something.

Blunt wraps can also be made of other materials, but this is certainly less common, the only alternative I've ever used is an palm leaf cone flavored with rum.

But really no one here really does blunts anymore -- at least not the smoke-weed-every-day contingent -- no, they're all dabbing and wearing transdermal patches and eating taffies.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 12:33 PM on July 2, 2015 [6 favorites]


So. A purely hypothetical scene from a fictional episode in the Devonian era.

Friend: You ever smoked a joint made with cigar tobacco?
Devonian: What, like a blunt?
F: No, not just the wrapper. Like an ordinary joint, but with cigar tobacco.
D: Sounds horrible
F: Does it? Well, I have here a cigar (pulls out a Punch Habana...)

[some time later]

D: Oh my god.
F: Yes. We are very, very stoned...
D: I am, certainly.
F: And yet you are lucid and focussed.
D: All you say is true. Even though we have been smoking the sort of skunk in the sort of quantities that would turn Mount Rushmore into a quivering, paranoid amoeba.
F: Go us.
D: Amen.

In conclusion: these novelty smoking configurations should not be dismissed out of hand.
posted by Devonian at 12:51 PM on July 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


“It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint.”
posted by scruss at 1:03 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


They are... truly wanton!
posted by Drexen at 1:04 PM on July 2, 2015


The human body response to THC (and all of it's friends, CBD, THCV, CBG, etc) is interesting because it's almost impossible to overdose. Or, to put it in numbers, the fatal dose of THC is 40,000 times the standard amount used to get high. You would have to hit a joint 120,000 times to overdose.

This means that, once you are comfortable getting really stoned, you can keep going on to really stoned and then really really stoned. The biggest thing is comfort level.

I am not comfortable even getting really stoned. I'm a "lightweight", by choice. But one could easily smoke a fucking ounce to the dome and you're gonna be fine... just extremely, stupidly, ridiculously stoned. And sleepy.
posted by special agent conrad uno at 1:12 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


To echo what was said before, a friend of mine wonders why one would spoil the deliciousness of a weed buzz with nicotine. This same friend once took a huge hit off a chillum packed with hash and rolling tobacco and about fell down from the nicotine rush. This was not pleasant, he reports.

TL;DR: Zig-Zag or go home. (That said, crafty points for that helicopter.)
posted by the sobsister at 1:13 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


This means that, once you are comfortable getting really stoned, you can keep going on to really stoned and then really really stoned. The biggest thing is comfort level.

There's kind of a plateau effect, though - or at least diminishing returns - with the height of the plateau/asymptotic "most stoned you can get" decreasing somewhat when you have a tolerance. Or maybe in the age of extreme cannabis concentrates you can break on through to the other side. I don't know. Edibles can put you way up there. Eating too much weed seems to give me orthostatic hypotension - and if you can't stand up you might as well go to sleep. I don't get high very often anymore - sure did used to though.

My roommate basically chain smokes spliffs with pipe tobacco. I don't know if that's going to get him first or the vodka.
posted by atoxyl at 1:49 PM on July 2, 2015


And no, blunts are not uncommon in the US. They tend to be associated with hip hop culture, though, so if you don't have friends into hip hop, you may not have seen them. I've never actually seen a spliff, though, and had the impression they fell out of fashion in the 80s...

Spliffs (in the joint-with-tobacco sense) seem to be extremely localized in the US, not even a regional affectation as far as I can tell, but still popular with little pools of serious nicotine fiends.

The parts of Europe I've been in, they're so much the norm that it seems like a standard-issue joint contains tobacco by default. Everyone is constitutionally incapable of smoking unadulterated weed. "It's so harsh!" they'll say. "Can't we just add a little tobacco to mellow it out?" This has always struck me as some kind of testament to the power of acculturation combined with a widespread cigarette habit, because it's all I can do to smoke enough of that shit to get even slightly stoned without absorbing so much nicotine that the world spins in giant looping puke-flavored circles for an hour.

Seriously Europe wtf.
posted by brennen at 2:40 PM on July 2, 2015 [4 favorites]


At one time in my life, I found that a White Owl Mocha Mint was the best possible pairing with an eighth of the ditch weed that was all I could get at the time. Four or five of those a day and I was set.

The good stuff is too strong to smoke a whole blunt at a time, but it tastes so much better that I wouldn't want to spoil it with the tobacco anyway.
posted by wierdo at 3:13 PM on July 2, 2015




brennen, I don't know if the prices over there are different or what, but a certain person of my acquaintance would never be able to afford smoking pure joints all the time, unless they were crazy tiny which (they allege) makes for a less drawn-out and social experience.

And yet, tobacco is awful.
posted by Drexen at 3:37 PM on July 2, 2015


Spliffs seem kinda silly to me, though. Cigarette tobacco ruins the flavor of cannabis. Blunts have enough in them that it overpowers the tobacco.
posted by wierdo at 4:02 PM on July 2, 2015


Save for Israelis/Europeans, I don't know anyone who puts tobacco in there and even then no one ever uses cigar tobacco.

Australians used to, when I was in uni.
posted by Joe in Australia at 5:27 PM on July 2, 2015


"It's so harsh!" they'll say. "Can't we just add a little tobacco to mellow it out?"

Yeah like oh my god what?
posted by atoxyl at 5:30 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's best to smoke lots of very narrow jays instead of one big fatty because pulling air through a narrow tube makes the cherry burn hotter so more of the stonerol is activated and less of the precious smoke floats off into space, where the human lung just can't survive.

Also if you hand each of your friends a few pinners then you don't hear any hey-fucker-puff-puff-pass and don't-bogart jive, and that one pal who is really cool until you pass around the doobie and then greed takes over and they do their damnedest to burn a goddamn canoe out of your sweet mammoth jahammoth, whatever. You know the story.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 8:15 PM on July 2, 2015 [7 favorites]


The sweet, church-going Chinese immigrant couple who own/run our corner variety get pissed at all the young guys coming in, buying cigarillos. They KNOW.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:31 PM on July 2, 2015


But really no one here really does blunts anymore -- at least not the smoke-weed-every-day contingent -- no, they're all dabbing and wearing transdermal patches and eating taffies.

Yea, really. Seeing someone bust out a blunt up here now is like seeing someone riding a razor scooter. You consciously go "woah, it's one of those".

It's kind of sad though, because everyone up here now really is about the turbo-chronic and dabbing and shit. Either you're in it to get really-super-ultra high or you're just... not. I'm shocked whenever i see someone just hitting a small bowl out of a pipe. It's vape pens and dab rigs all the way down.

Like, a friend walked in to my house with a fairly tiny purse and went "hey mind if i smoke some weed?" "yea sure". She somehow, TARDIS style, pulls out a freaking propane cylinder, BBQ lighter, tiny bong and the rod and vaporizer attachment thing. Pours some water in, lights the torch, etc.

Fucking really?
posted by emptythought at 3:11 AM on July 3, 2015 [2 favorites]


This reminds me of the Dr Atomic comic where the doc shows how to build bongs out of paper towel tubes that look like the Starship Enterprise. Recycling, maaan...

And other handy hints.
posted by arzakh at 6:05 AM on July 3, 2015


« Older You went above the line   |   ¡te queremos, Maria! Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments