Tables Turned
February 5, 2016 7:12 AM   Subscribe

 
I would have been more like, "Surprise, asshole!" but then this lady is way classier than I am.
posted by Kitteh at 7:17 AM on February 5, 2016 [9 favorites]


Wow. I kind of want to believe that the gang members actually just don't kill anyone, women or men. They take someone's money, abduct the "victim," and then provide evidence to indict the customer. What're you gonna do? Sue gangsters for breach of contract?
posted by explosion at 7:18 AM on February 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


Wow , that took a turn, as they say. She missed the chance for some extended shadowy haunting though . Phone call in a familiar voice, glance from across a busy street ... She could have slowly driven him insane.
posted by freecellwizard at 7:21 AM on February 5, 2016 [46 favorites]


How rude.
posted by ocschwar at 7:21 AM on February 5, 2016


"three unusually principled hit men"

Honestly if this doesn't become a feature film I will be so sad.
posted by jeather at 7:22 AM on February 5, 2016 [52 favorites]


Rukundo told the ABC she’s gotten backlash from Melbourne’s Congolese community for reporting Kalala to the police. Someone left threatening messages for her, and she returned home one day to find her back door broken.
Is there a word for "agog yet totally unsurprised"? Because I'm that.
posted by Etrigan at 7:23 AM on February 5, 2016 [16 favorites]


Wow , that took a turn, as they say. She missed the chance for some extended shadowy haunting though . Phone call in a familiar voice, glance from across a busy street ... She could have slowly driven him insane.
Who put Diabolique in my Netflix queue?
posted by Nerd of the North at 7:26 AM on February 5, 2016 [10 favorites]


Honestly if this does not become a feature film I will be so sad

It has a slightly Coen Brothers vibe to it, I think.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:27 AM on February 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


Three Unusually Principled Hitmen And A Baby
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:29 AM on February 5, 2016 [42 favorites]


This is after they faked her Mars mission, right?
posted by bondcliff at 7:32 AM on February 5, 2016


Am I missing something, or is there no information on his motive?
posted by R a c h e l at 7:32 AM on February 5, 2016


Perhaps the "hitmen" felt that if they were eventually caught, they'd rather it was for kidnapping/extortion instead of murder? I'm glad her murderous husband is in prison, but yeah, raising 8 kids alone and dealing with a lot of definite trauma is not an easy resolution for her.
posted by emjaybee at 7:32 AM on February 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


What this reminds me of is Carl Hiassen's Skinny Dip.

So what she should have done is stayed "dead" for a while and messed with him from beyond the grave.
posted by Naberius at 7:33 AM on February 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


Am I missing something, or is there no information on his motive?

It said that he claimed he thought she was going to leave him for another man.
posted by geegollygosh at 7:34 AM on February 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


Seven grand (Australian) is the going rate, huh?

Good to know.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:37 AM on February 5, 2016


After two days, they set her free on the side of a road, but not before giving her a cellphone, recordings of their phone conversations with Kalala, and receipts for the $7,000 in Australian dollars they allegedly received in payment, according to Australia’s The Age.

Aaaaaaaaand that's where I call bullshit.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:40 AM on February 5, 2016


"Am I missing something, or is there no information on his motive?"

I noticed that too, as a feature. Too often we hear all the backstory and drama, as if this somehow explains or justifies the violence inflicted on women at least just a little bit. And that is a steep slippery slope we can avoid altogether. I found it refreshing to keep the focus (and judgement) on the perpetrator of this act.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:42 AM on February 5, 2016 [11 favorites]


Aaaaaaaaand that's where I call bullshit.

From The Age story linked in the article: "On her release, the kidnappers gave Ms Rukundo two receipts from Western Union for the $7000 'blood money."

So, it's not like they wrote up a receipt for $7,000 AU payment for hitman services and signed their names in case the murdering husband wanted to declare it as a tax write-off or something.
posted by taz at 7:55 AM on February 5, 2016 [22 favorites]


It has a slightly Coen Brothers vibe to it, I think.

Fuck that. Do it Tarantino style. Have all 8 kids stab him 1000 times with butter knives to a Curtis Mayfield tune.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:56 AM on February 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


> Seven grand (Australian) is the going rate, huh?
> $7,000 in Australian dollars they allegedly received in payment ... Aaaaaaaaand that's where I call bullshit.

Keep in mind that AUD 7000 goes much further in Burundi than it does in Melbourne.

It was a pretty neat set up, have her knocked off outside the country. And he'd have got away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids?
posted by RedOrGreen at 7:56 AM on February 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


Good for her - a well planned revenge, I'd say.
posted by rmd1023 at 7:57 AM on February 5, 2016


After two days, they set her free on the side of a road, but not before giving her a cellphone, recordings of their phone conversations with Kalala, and receipts for the $7,000 in Australian dollars they allegedly received in payment, according to Australia’s The Age.

Aaaaaaaaand that's where I call bullshit.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:40 AM on February 5 [+] [!]


Why? The man confessed, Western Union does indeed provide receipts, and this man is in jail for nine years (which seems light to me, especially since it's not like he backed off later, he really thought they'd gone through with it -- as far as he was concerned it was murder and not attempted murder). There has been an actual, legal investigation which determined that this man was guilty so maybe could we not go around using our internet sleuthing powers to discredit this woman who has had an incredibly traumatic experience?

Ms, Rukundo has neighbors who are threatening her because she reported her husband to the authorities AFTER HE TRIED TO AND BELIEVED HE SUCCEEDED IN HAVING HER KILLED. Maybe the last thing she needs is more second-guessing from people who don't have either all the facts or her best interests at heart?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:05 AM on February 5, 2016 [65 favorites]


It's gross the way the hitmen labeled her stupid for...what? Believing her husband wouldn't kill her? And what was she supposed to warn "other stupid women" of? "Don't be stupid and get yourself killed?"
Though same basic sexism that prompted them to ask "what did you do to make that man want to kill you" actually worked in her favour this time ("don't believe in killing women", so yay?
Though she then gets blamed for reporting her murderer.
posted by Omnomnom at 8:18 AM on February 5, 2016 [8 favorites]


stern Union does indeed this man is in jail for nine years (which seems light to me, especially since it's not like he backed off later, he really thought they'd gone through with it -- as far as he was concerned it was murder and not attempted murder)

I'll venture a guess and say that it's not the murder they considered for that sentence to be so light, but that the murder was of a woman.
posted by nevercalm at 8:31 AM on February 5, 2016


I was saddened by the detail that some people in the Congolese community in Melbourne are giving her shit for this.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:33 AM on February 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


this man is in jail for nine years (which seems light to me, especially since it's not like he backed off later, he really thought they'd gone through with it -- as far as he was concerned it was murder and not attempted murder)

That seems to be just under the median of 10.5 years (4-page PDF, most current one on the Sentencing Council's website).
posted by Etrigan at 8:39 AM on February 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I would have been more like, "Surprise, asshole!"

Surely it's "Surprise, motherfucker!"
posted by desjardins at 8:54 AM on February 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


“Sometimes Devil can come into someone, to do something, but after they do it they start thinking, ‘Why I did that thing?’"

Indeed. Welcome to the human condition, where these kinds of things are usually limited to eating entire bags of Doritos in a sitting or binge watching Netflix when you should be doing homework.

Wow. I kind of want to believe that the gang members actually just don't kill anyone, women or men. They take someone's money, abduct the "victim," and then provide evidence to indict the customer. What're you gonna do? Sue gangsters for breach of contract?


This is what I would do, if I ever moved beyond Doritos and Netflix.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:56 AM on February 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I loved the story, but I was hoping for something a little more melodramatic, like maybe in the middle of the service, amid the wailing and gnashing of teeth, she pops open the lid, leaps out of the coffin, and begins slowly advancing upon the husband, pointing a rigid finger and whispering "J'accuse!"
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:08 AM on February 5, 2016 [8 favorites]


Is there a word for "agog yet totally unsurprised"? Because I'm that.

Shock and obvious.
posted by maxsparber at 9:42 AM on February 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


Wow, that took a turn, as they say. She missed the chance for some extended shadowy haunting though. Phone call in a familiar voice, glance from across a busy street ... She could have slowly driven him insane.

Weird that she chose letting friends and family know she was alive and well as soon as she could be sure she was safe over revenge.
posted by straight at 9:45 AM on February 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


It's gross the way the hitmen labeled her stupid for...what? Believing her husband wouldn't kill her? And what was she supposed to warn "other stupid women" of? "Don't be stupid and get yourself killed?"

You're talking about men who murder people for money. Perhaps when they get over doing that they can work on their sexism.
posted by Sangermaine at 10:11 AM on February 5, 2016 [19 favorites]


$7000 Australian dollars for a murder? How rude, indeed. The guy was a cheapskate!
posted by markkraft at 10:13 AM on February 5, 2016


Seriously... contract killing is a service industry, done by professional artisans, usually on an individual basis, or in small lots.

You aren't just paying for me to pop a cap or slit a jugular vein. You're paying for the difficulties involved in making this my profession. The classes, the extracurricular studies... for hours and hours of preparation, for the materials involved, and for safe, discrete, environmentally-friendly disposal of any remains. Not to mention the costs of repairs, travel, and keeping a lawyer on retainer.

And despite all this, you would be surprised how many people want us to do this kind of work for free. Seriously... f*ck you, pay me. And tip well, like you actually value my work and my discretion.
posted by markkraft at 10:23 AM on February 5, 2016 [10 favorites]


Dissapointed there isn't video.

I loved the story, but I was hoping for something a little more melodramatic, like maybe in the middle of the service, amid the wailing and gnashing of teeth, she pops open the lid, leaps out of the coffin, and begins slowly advancing upon the husband, pointing a rigid finger and whispering "J'accuse!"

I'd go with "Thou art the man!"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:01 AM on February 5, 2016


This thread is incredibly handy for identifying the MetaFilter members who are the Dwight Schrutes of their particular offices.
posted by invitapriore at 12:38 PM on February 5, 2016 [6 favorites]


Am I missing something, or is there no information on his motive?

It said that he claimed he thought she was going to leave him for another man.


Likely translation: dude had met another woman and wanted to get rid of his current wife.

This is a guy his own wife called "violent" and whose previous wife "had been killed". Gee. I wonder who killed his previous wife. Rebel army? Possible, okay, but hm.
She learned more about her husband’s past — he had fled a rebel army that had ransacked his village, killing his wife and young son. She also learned more about his character.

“I knew he was a violent man,” Rukundo told the BBC. “But I didn’t believe he can kill me.”
Anyway. Any time a dude explains away violence and/or murder with "I thought she might sleep with someone else," that is called bullshit no matter what way you slice it.
posted by fraula at 12:45 PM on February 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


I believe the motive can neatly be summed up as "He believed he had the right to choose to end her life." Or, more succinctly, "patriarchy".
posted by spindrifter at 12:45 PM on February 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I wonder who killed his previous wife. Rebel army?

A lot of other violence happens under the cover of war, so perhaps a fair point, but it's also worth remembering that there was an estimated 300,000 people directly killed by the Congolese civil war (and about 5 million through disease and starvation). And his child was also killed before he fled the country.
posted by ambrosen at 2:10 PM on February 5, 2016




You're talking about men who murder people for money. Perhaps when they get over doing that they can work on their sexism.


That's not the point and you know it.

I think it's bizarre yet not unexpected that this woman gets misogynistically victim blamed by the very hitmen hired to kill her. Then gets blamed by even more people for reporting her husband for attempted murderer.

The misogyny on display there is the same one that played into the actions of the husband. It's a bizarre clusterfuck and this woman has to live with it while raising eight children.
posted by Omnomnom at 2:24 PM on February 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


It would've been super hardcore if she'd shot him in the head and dropped him into her open grave.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:06 PM on February 5, 2016


Or hired the same guys to kill her husband!
posted by desjardins at 4:55 PM on February 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have it on good* authority that the going rate in Queensland is $15k. If this is the case, I'm surprised that it doesn't happen more often, because I was tempted to save up.

(*My boss's dad works in the construction industry. However, I know she gets a very good salary, and still there are some people at work neither of us like).
posted by b33j at 5:07 PM on February 5, 2016


Did anyone else think of American Horror Story?

I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.
posted by gloriouslyincandescent at 5:34 PM on February 5, 2016


Am I the first the wonder out loud if her eight children were at her funeral? That seems unnecessarily cruel. Actually, I don't understand why the need to have a funeral at all? What did it prove? He had already paid (with receipts) and told many people she was dead -what exactly was the point of the funeral from a legal point of view?
posted by saucysault at 7:48 PM on February 5, 2016


I am not suggesting this is the case here, but maybe there are other explanatiosn for the threats agaunst the wife (with probability very close to 0 I am aware)

I was once staying at a U.N. house in central Mexico with a bunch of human rights workers (I was just helping set up the computers, not my usual crowd), and they were discussing a similar case in the small Mayan (Kaqchikel or K'iche, I can't remember) community in the city.

Man gets drunk and recruits a few drunk friends to go kill his wife. Wife and family barricade themselves in house and call the police. Police arrests wanabbe killers.

The woman had to go into hiding when the community turned against her, and that is how she ended up at the U.N. house. She risked getting her head shaved as public humiliation.

It was not that the community sided with the husband, it was that they were pissed that the police got involved and they got robbed of the opportunity to do their own justice.

She was OK after the human rights workers arranged some conference calls with indigeous judges back in Guatemala, and she went through a complicated oral trial and the elders asked the community to reflect on the issue and change their attitudes.

From what I understood, if the police had not gotten involved, the husband and drunk friends would have gone through a trial, be found guilty due to all the witnes testimony and their history of past violence, forced to pay the woman, get whipped in public and become life long pariahs due to the humiliation.

If the mayores and principales did not believe the perpetrators could be rehabilitated, they would most likely have become a few more of the 98% of homicides among Guatemalan Mayans that are never solved.

After writing all this I don't know what point I was trying to make. Maybe that wanting to keep the police out of it does not necessarily mean that you side with the criminal? Anyway, it sucks that after your husband tries to kill you, your community turns against you. I hear versions of this story all the time.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 12:05 AM on February 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Am I missing something, or is there no information on his motive?

Thanks to everyone who pointed out the issues with immediately thinking that, and realizing why it's not as important as just recognizing and condemning the violence. I didn't think about it in that framing, and you're totally right. I appreciate the check!
posted by R a c h e l at 3:08 PM on February 8, 2016


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