Moon-made
August 18, 2017 2:36 PM Subscribe
James Hamblin (Atlantic) wonders if the eclipse is a conspiracy: "I am not saying the eclipse isn’t going to happen. I’m just saying there are two sides to every story." Meanwhile, Brian Hickey (PhillyVoice) reaches out to flat-Earthers for their opinions on the so-called eclipse.
It's scientific fact that the accuracy of any given study is proportional to the convenience of accepting the results of the study. See the documentary work It's Inconvenient And Therefore Untrue.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:46 PM on August 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:46 PM on August 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
Teach the controversy!
posted by ActingTheGoat at 3:25 PM on August 18, 2017
posted by ActingTheGoat at 3:25 PM on August 18, 2017
"I’m just saying there are two sides to every story."
And? So what is the other side? Does the Atlantic just pass out money to people who have nothing to say? Just type up a paragraph dude, we'll publish it.
posted by shockingbluamp at 4:14 PM on August 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
And? So what is the other side? Does the Atlantic just pass out money to people who have nothing to say? Just type up a paragraph dude, we'll publish it.
posted by shockingbluamp at 4:14 PM on August 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
I can't help but fear there will be violence in some locations of the total eclipse because some will simply not know what it is.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 4:37 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 4:37 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
From the author: Someone wrote to say "I hope you get cancer and die." So to be clear, satire.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:40 PM on August 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:40 PM on August 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
And? So what is the other side? Does the Atlantic just pass out money to people who have nothing to say? Just type up a paragraph dude, we'll publish it.
I just submitted one... Sarcasm: Fake Lying or Lying Fakery?
posted by Huck500 at 4:44 PM on August 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
I just submitted one... Sarcasm: Fake Lying or Lying Fakery?
posted by Huck500 at 4:44 PM on August 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
Rahu and Ketu in Vedic astrology are considered mythology by western astronomy. Rahu is the head of the serpent and Ketu is the body. In mythology, during an eclipse, they thought the head swallowed the sun [...] What I find interesting is photos that came from a flight that took place during another eclipse [...] when they were digitally enhanced and blown up, we could see several black objects that looked like a little serpent, which was really strange.
Snakes. Little snakes, eating the sun. I'll buy it.
posted by brook horse at 5:31 PM on August 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
Snakes. Little snakes, eating the sun. I'll buy it.
posted by brook horse at 5:31 PM on August 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
I should have known better than to read the flat earther eclipse stuff. I knew it was going to be incoherent / idiotic drivel that would make me want to shout at my monitor, even though it's not my monitor's fault. I'm sorry, monitor.
posted by aubilenon at 5:38 PM on August 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 5:38 PM on August 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
#notallmonitors
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:12 PM on August 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:12 PM on August 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
#notallanti-monitors
posted by kittensofthenight at 6:17 PM on August 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by kittensofthenight at 6:17 PM on August 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
Eclipses are obviously caused by the Aten.
posted by tobascodagama at 6:27 PM on August 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by tobascodagama at 6:27 PM on August 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
The eclipse is fake news, sheeple! It's going to fail bigly! Sad.
posted by Beethoven's Sith at 6:37 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Beethoven's Sith at 6:37 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Everyone around here is freaking out about eclipse glasses. Do you have them? Are they "the real kind" that protect you? Because the market's flooded with fake "non-protective" glasses!
I agree, you need to follow the money. Because if watching the so-called "eclipse" (if it actually happens) is so dangerous with the naked eye, show me where all these blind people from past eclipses are! Hmm?
I'm the only one that has balls enough to bring these hard questions up at home and all my wife can say is "shhh! The kids don't understand sarcasm."
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:30 PM on August 18, 2017 [8 favorites]
I agree, you need to follow the money. Because if watching the so-called "eclipse" (if it actually happens) is so dangerous with the naked eye, show me where all these blind people from past eclipses are! Hmm?
I'm the only one that has balls enough to bring these hard questions up at home and all my wife can say is "shhh! The kids don't understand sarcasm."
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:30 PM on August 18, 2017 [8 favorites]
the snakes are what gave the Aten its name, because that's what happens to it.
posted by mwhybark at 9:14 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by mwhybark at 9:14 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
show me where all these blind people from past eclipses are
i mean depending on what the actor portraying Alex Jones on the streets of Seattle says I guess
posted by mwhybark at 9:18 PM on August 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
i mean depending on what the actor portraying Alex Jones on the streets of Seattle says I guess
posted by mwhybark at 9:18 PM on August 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Now I know there's a lot of people who like Metafilter, but isn't it time we listened to the people who say it doesn't exist? Never did, never well? It's an intriguing theory, so shouldn't we give time to the Metafilter Deniers?
posted by happyroach at 9:23 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by happyroach at 9:23 PM on August 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: MetaFilter Deniers
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:37 PM on August 18, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:37 PM on August 18, 2017 [8 favorites]
I should have known better than to read the flat earther eclipse stuff. I knew it was going to be incoherent / idiotic drivel that would make me want to shout at my monitor, even though it's not my monitor's fault. I'm sorry, monitor.
Top tip: If you tack up gold braid around your monitor it becomes an Admiralty Monitor and had no power over you!
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:00 PM on August 18, 2017 [21 favorites]
Top tip: If you tack up gold braid around your monitor it becomes an Admiralty Monitor and had no power over you!
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:00 PM on August 18, 2017 [21 favorites]
When flat-earthers claim that the eclipse will not match predictions, we should not aim to immediately explain why they are wrong, instead we should simply ask them "What eclipse?"
"... equinox..." "What is an equinox? How do you know one will occur?"
"... Antartica... " "What is that? Who taught you about that? Have you been there?"
"... Van Allen belts... " "Why should I believe those even exist?"
In their answers, they must reveal that, at some level, they rely on the very science that they attempt to discredit.
That's a pretty good point, and sounds way more fun than trying to convince them reality is real.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:38 AM on August 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
"... equinox..." "What is an equinox? How do you know one will occur?"
"... Antartica... " "What is that? Who taught you about that? Have you been there?"
"... Van Allen belts... " "Why should I believe those even exist?"
In their answers, they must reveal that, at some level, they rely on the very science that they attempt to discredit.
That's a pretty good point, and sounds way more fun than trying to convince them reality is real.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:38 AM on August 19, 2017 [7 favorites]
Mr. Encyclopedia, how do you know reality is real, when our brightest minds ponder the possibility that we are all in a simulation?
What if, in this simulation, your reality is genuinely different from the reality of the flat-earthers or conspiracy theorists?
What if those who run the simulation need to find a way of dealing with alternate realities and we are the computer to give them the answers?
posted by Laotic at 4:31 AM on August 19, 2017
What if, in this simulation, your reality is genuinely different from the reality of the flat-earthers or conspiracy theorists?
What if those who run the simulation need to find a way of dealing with alternate realities and we are the computer to give them the answers?
posted by Laotic at 4:31 AM on August 19, 2017
Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never-ending spiral of life and death. Is this a curse? Or some kind of punishment? I often think about the god who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle...and wonder if we'll ever get the chance to kill him.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:04 AM on August 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:04 AM on August 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
The moon is an ABSURD LIBERAL MYTH!!!!
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 6:08 AM on August 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 6:08 AM on August 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
Laotic talks about "brightest minds pondering possibilities", presumably including his own mind. Wondering whether we live in a simulation presupposes we have a mind capable of thoughts and inquiry, but how do we know the mind even exists? So called philosophers (literally "lovers of thought"!) and academics whose entire financial livelihood depends on the idea that one can "know" things! Once you begin to question whether you even have a brain (have you seen yours, and touched it? Didn't think so) the entire reason for universities, schools, libraries, etc, sucking vast amounts of tax payer money, vanishes. These so called educators and scientists who encourage us to question things and "learn" have a vested interest in making you and I believe we have brains capable of thought.
teach the controversy!
I am a figment of my cat's imagination and she has granted me the delusion of self awareness.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:39 AM on August 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
I am a figment of my cat's imagination and she has granted me the delusion of self awareness.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:39 AM on August 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Did we decide to have a time cube memorial thread
posted by PMdixon at 9:31 AM on August 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by PMdixon at 9:31 AM on August 19, 2017 [5 favorites]
It's cute when baby-skeptics are like "how do you know you have a brain."
The real question is how do you know you're even using language? What even is language? Have you ever seen it?
Ask the real "question."
posted by oddman at 10:37 AM on August 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
The real question is how do you know you're even using language? What even is language? Have you ever seen it?
Ask the real "question."
posted by oddman at 10:37 AM on August 19, 2017 [4 favorites]
We use small wires to hold up the satellites that give us GPS data. We hook the wires to the turtle.
About the sun and moon--use your eyes. They are flat.
posted by mule98J at 11:01 AM on August 19, 2017
About the sun and moon--use your eyes. They are flat.
posted by mule98J at 11:01 AM on August 19, 2017
I sometimes I think the moon is a totally organic and real part of our sky, and greater world and I also sometimes wonder if it is perhaps in some way a reflection or relief impression of our greater unknown flat earth terrain.
Other times, I think about how close the moon looks, and how suspect it is that we can zoom in on its texture with a high powered camera, and how this seems to suggest it can't be all that far away at all.
And sometimes I even wonder if the moon is a series of eggs and our sky is a giant womb that we live on the floor of.
And, more often lately, I genuinely wonder if the moon is some kind of shadow puppet show, and it's none of those mystical things it's just an optical trick.
I feel like I shouldn't, but I just love this.
posted by nickmark at 11:25 AM on August 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
Other times, I think about how close the moon looks, and how suspect it is that we can zoom in on its texture with a high powered camera, and how this seems to suggest it can't be all that far away at all.
And sometimes I even wonder if the moon is a series of eggs and our sky is a giant womb that we live on the floor of.
And, more often lately, I genuinely wonder if the moon is some kind of shadow puppet show, and it's none of those mystical things it's just an optical trick.
I feel like I shouldn't, but I just love this.
posted by nickmark at 11:25 AM on August 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
“I used to think that the brain was the most important organ in my body. Then I thought, 'Look who's telling me this.'" –Emo Philips
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:12 PM on August 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:12 PM on August 19, 2017 [3 favorites]
I can't help but fear there will be violence in some locations of the total eclipse because some will simply not know what it is.
Some decades ago, maybe. But with 24/7 news channels and cell phones and Facebook, you'd have to search really hard to find anyone who's not informed about the coming eclipse.
posted by ymgve at 5:50 PM on August 20, 2017
Some decades ago, maybe. But with 24/7 news channels and cell phones and Facebook, you'd have to search really hard to find anyone who's not informed about the coming eclipse.
posted by ymgve at 5:50 PM on August 20, 2017
Anyone see any reactions from flat earthers to the eclipse?
posted by agregoli at 2:03 PM on August 21, 2017
posted by agregoli at 2:03 PM on August 21, 2017
National Treasure Alexandra Petri, WaPo: Great American Eclipse: Winners and Losers
This is the eclipse of the century! Until the next eclipse of the century, scheduled seven years from now.posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:08 PM on August 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
People used to think that a total eclipse was the result of something nice and wholesome like an enormous bear or frog devouring the sun, but we live in a gods-forsaken age where the eclipse has been christened the “Great American Eclipse” and given its own whooshing graphics and sound effects on televisions across the country. Given that there is nothing so important or so trivial that we do not, apparently, have to apply horse-race commentary to it, I have assembled a fictional panel of talking heads to answer key questions about this eclipse.
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posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:37 PM on August 18, 2017