Please Make Yourselves At Home In My AirBnB And Have Sex
September 20, 2017 12:07 AM Subscribe
That's another difference between AirBnB and a regular hotel - in a regular hotel you only have to blank from your mind the hundreds of people who have previously fucked like animals on the bed you are currently sleeping on when you're a guest.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:50 AM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:50 AM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
The distressing thing here is that I actually know at least one person who would consider "Please do not have sex in the sex dungeon, as it is where I have sex" to be a completely reasonable thing to leave in a note, addressed to... basically anyone who might happen to be in the house for any reason.
I'm not sure what that says about the state of things, except that if you buy far enough out in suburbia, you can totally afford a sex dungeon.
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 1:47 AM on September 20, 2017 [18 favorites]
I'm not sure what that says about the state of things, except that if you buy far enough out in suburbia, you can totally afford a sex dungeon.
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 1:47 AM on September 20, 2017 [18 favorites]
Also, what if I want to have sex AT the Japanese restaurant? Maybe some tips on that?
(Also, given I know what I know, you also might want to suggest the guest rinse off the shampoo et al bottles. Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies.)
posted by Samizdata at 2:09 AM on September 20, 2017
(Also, given I know what I know, you also might want to suggest the guest rinse off the shampoo et al bottles. Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies.)
posted by Samizdata at 2:09 AM on September 20, 2017
I love that the author considers sex in the bedroom as simply beyond contemplation.
- and there are parts of the world - The Netherlands I am thinking of you - where I could totally see an owner leaving something like this for guests.
posted by rongorongo at 2:28 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
- and there are parts of the world - The Netherlands I am thinking of you - where I could totally see an owner leaving something like this for guests.
posted by rongorongo at 2:28 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Yes yes all very well, but does he allow dogs? Not sex dogs, obvs, because THEY'RE DOGS COLIN WE'RE NOT PERVERTS. Just dogs. It's the only important option to check.
posted by giraffeneckbattle at 3:07 AM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by giraffeneckbattle at 3:07 AM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
I just stayed in an air bnb for the first time recently - alone, sadly, no sex at all - and this has just given me new worries. Was I supposed to put the dishes in the dishwasher? Was I supposed to strip the bed?? I don't think I could cope with the etiquette of sexing in someone else's house when I now have laundry anxiety.
posted by billiebee at 4:58 AM on September 20, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by billiebee at 4:58 AM on September 20, 2017 [10 favorites]
About this whole AirBnB thing. There are ramifications that failed to fully manifest in my imagination. I don't think I want people ramifying on my manifestations.
posted by pracowity at 5:04 AM on September 20, 2017 [18 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 5:04 AM on September 20, 2017 [18 favorites]
The easiest way to ensure people don't have sex in your house while you AirBnB it is to list your children as an amenity. That way, when they come, leave your kids to follow them around everywhere. Noone can feel comfortable with small children staring at them! Lastly, enjoy the benefits of someone paying to babysit for you.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:06 AM on September 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:06 AM on September 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
That's another difference between AirBnB and a regular hotel - in a regular hotel you only have to blank from your mind the hundreds of people who have previously fucked like animals on the bed you are currently sleeping on when you're a guest.
I think it was Merlin Mann who permanently ruined hotels for me when he casually noted that you pretty much have to assume that, at some point, everything in your hotel room has been in somebody's butt.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:10 AM on September 20, 2017 [14 favorites]
I think it was Merlin Mann who permanently ruined hotels for me when he casually noted that you pretty much have to assume that, at some point, everything in your hotel room has been in somebody's butt.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:10 AM on September 20, 2017 [14 favorites]
I just stayed in an air bnb for the first time recently - alone, sadly, no sex at all - and this has just given me new worries. Was I supposed to put the dishes in the dishwasher? Was I supposed to strip the bed?? I don't think I could cope with the etiquette of sexing in someone else's house when I now have laundry anxiety.
It's up to the host and their rules. If it's not in the rules, it's not your responsibility. I also purposefully do not stay in AirBNBs that are just a room in someone's flat to avoid the etiquette questions of dealing with the host on a personal basis, and, as a result, I tend to wind up at more than a few AirBNBs where the unit was obviously a second apartment that the host had acquired and minimally furnished solely for the purpose of being an AirBNB money funnel.
The latter lends itself towards everything being a purely transactional exchange. I give you money and a promise to keep everything as I first found it, you give me a room and privacy.
posted by bl1nk at 5:19 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
It's up to the host and their rules. If it's not in the rules, it's not your responsibility. I also purposefully do not stay in AirBNBs that are just a room in someone's flat to avoid the etiquette questions of dealing with the host on a personal basis, and, as a result, I tend to wind up at more than a few AirBNBs where the unit was obviously a second apartment that the host had acquired and minimally furnished solely for the purpose of being an AirBNB money funnel.
The latter lends itself towards everything being a purely transactional exchange. I give you money and a promise to keep everything as I first found it, you give me a room and privacy.
posted by bl1nk at 5:19 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Also, what if I want to have sex AT the Japanese restaurant? Maybe some tips on that?
I have an acquaintance who rates public restrooms for their usefulness for sexing. I don't remember what the criteria are but it's probably space, privacy, something sturdy to hold onto, cleanliness, ambience.
So if I were going to be an airbnb host I'd leave notes on the nearest public restrooms (restaurants, bars, etc) and how their bathrooms score in my opinion.
Luckily for everyone, I'm not in a position to contribute to worsening NYC's fucked up housing market.
posted by bilabial at 5:57 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have an acquaintance who rates public restrooms for their usefulness for sexing. I don't remember what the criteria are but it's probably space, privacy, something sturdy to hold onto, cleanliness, ambience.
So if I were going to be an airbnb host I'd leave notes on the nearest public restrooms (restaurants, bars, etc) and how their bathrooms score in my opinion.
Luckily for everyone, I'm not in a position to contribute to worsening NYC's fucked up housing market.
posted by bilabial at 5:57 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
The fact that you want to to have sex in a public restroom suggests that "ambience" is not high of your list of concerns, surely?
posted by Paul Slade at 6:09 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Paul Slade at 6:09 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
But now there's Kink BnB so you can have sex in the sex dungeon.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:21 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Sophie1 at 7:21 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
When I book AirBnBs, we've gotten little guest-house type places with fancy soaps and (often) free snacks, mini kitchen with fridge, and a coffeemaker. Glorious.
When I let my husband book AirBnB, he got a tiny room with bunkbeds in a shared flat for all three of us. The A/C was iffy, the TV was broken, there were no trash cans or garbage bags in the entire place as far as I could find, and the owner had left the fridge full of old pizza cartons and beer, leaving no place for us to put the food my allergic-to-everything husband had to take with him.
Oh and one of the bunks didn't have any sheets so we had to go to Target to buy some.
It was basically just the guy's apartment and he was mostly gone, thankfully, but you never knew when he'd come back.
My husband doesn't book our Air BnBs anymore.
posted by emjaybee at 7:29 AM on September 20, 2017 [24 favorites]
When I let my husband book AirBnB, he got a tiny room with bunkbeds in a shared flat for all three of us. The A/C was iffy, the TV was broken, there were no trash cans or garbage bags in the entire place as far as I could find, and the owner had left the fridge full of old pizza cartons and beer, leaving no place for us to put the food my allergic-to-everything husband had to take with him.
Oh and one of the bunks didn't have any sheets so we had to go to Target to buy some.
It was basically just the guy's apartment and he was mostly gone, thankfully, but you never knew when he'd come back.
My husband doesn't book our Air BnBs anymore.
posted by emjaybee at 7:29 AM on September 20, 2017 [24 favorites]
AirBnB travellers: filtering your search to show you "entire place" options only can be a glorious thing. That's how you end up with the spare-apartment/guest-house kind of situations. I've had to go "private room" options if I had no other choice, but otherwise I've stayed in wee guest cottages in the Adirondacks or the Catskills, funky souped-up trailers outside of Yosemite, old farmhouses with glorious clawfoot bathtubs in the attic, apartments with views of the Eiffel Tower... I'm planning a trip to Budapest now, and I've bookmarked an AirBnB place within earshot of an opera house (the host says that you can hear music from the opera house in the evening sometimes), a big bathtub and a grand piano in the living room.
....I have even had sex in one of these locations, and the fact that there was a kitchen there meant i could also cook for us first.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:39 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
....I have even had sex in one of these locations, and the fact that there was a kitchen there meant i could also cook for us first.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:39 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
everything in your hotel room has been in somebody's butt.
As awful as that is, at least you can have a scalding shower and try to leave the whole thing behind.
If you let strangers stay in your home, anything you own may suffer the same rectal fate.
posted by pracowity at 7:46 AM on September 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
As awful as that is, at least you can have a scalding shower and try to leave the whole thing behind.
If you let strangers stay in your home, anything you own may suffer the same rectal fate.
posted by pracowity at 7:46 AM on September 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
I think you mean Colin Strokes, amirite?
posted by cjorgensen at 7:49 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by cjorgensen at 7:49 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
not airbnb related, but: I just got back from a long trip and had an old friend (who's in a new-ish relationship) housesit for me. When I got back, they had cleaned the place top to bottom... but had strategically rearranged all the mirrors in the bedroom and forgotten to move them back.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:53 AM on September 20, 2017 [55 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:53 AM on September 20, 2017 [55 favorites]
everything in your hotel room has been in somebody's butt.
And now I'm mashing this up with a line from 1408:
"Hotels are a naturally creepy place... Just think, how many people have slept in that bed before you? How many of them were sick? How many lost their minds? How many... stuck the remote up their butt?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:56 AM on September 20, 2017
And now I'm mashing this up with a line from 1408:
"Hotels are a naturally creepy place... Just think, how many people have slept in that bed before you? How many of them were sick? How many lost their minds? How many... stuck the remote up their butt?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:56 AM on September 20, 2017
It's "Airbnb" folks. Go ahead and have sex if you like, but please stop capitalizing the Bs.
posted by notyou at 8:05 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by notyou at 8:05 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
Is it better to go home and sleep in the spare bedroom where you know your parent's cat (or your brother's kid) has peed on the bed? And it bothers you even though your mom swears she used a million cleaners and all the sheets and blankets are clean? But generally speaking, it won't kill you.
Fear of contamination will make you nuts if you let it. Fear bedbugs, leave places if they smell bad or look dirty/have critters, pay attention to ratings from previous travelers, but otherwise you have to let that stuff go if you want to travel at all.
Even the shitty Airbnb I mentioned upthread didn't kill me, it was just a mild cautionary tale. I have slept in worse places. I even left a note for the guy letting him know he needed to replace his leaky toilet tank flap to save on his water bill.
posted by emjaybee at 8:08 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Fear of contamination will make you nuts if you let it. Fear bedbugs, leave places if they smell bad or look dirty/have critters, pay attention to ratings from previous travelers, but otherwise you have to let that stuff go if you want to travel at all.
Even the shitty Airbnb I mentioned upthread didn't kill me, it was just a mild cautionary tale. I have slept in worse places. I even left a note for the guy letting him know he needed to replace his leaky toilet tank flap to save on his water bill.
posted by emjaybee at 8:08 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
How many never got the remote back out?
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:14 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:14 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
It's "Airbnb" folks. Go ahead and have sex if you like, but please stop capitalizing the Bs
Air-bun-buh
posted by Going To Maine at 8:28 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Air-bun-buh
posted by Going To Maine at 8:28 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Having used this site three times and three times not been served any breakfast, I feel like the name leaves something to be desired.
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 8:31 AM on September 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 8:31 AM on September 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
Air bed 'n bonin'
posted by logicpunk at 8:38 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by logicpunk at 8:38 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Worth checking out this Airbnb Community thread of a host complaining about a guest having (noisy) sex in her apartment. The comments have a nice mix of people incredulous both ways.
posted by little onion at 8:43 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by little onion at 8:43 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Air-bun-buh
I said that three times out loud to myself before I caught myself. Although it didn't summon anything, in case you were worried.
posted by Brockles at 8:52 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
I said that three times out loud to myself before I caught myself. Although it didn't summon anything, in case you were worried.
posted by Brockles at 8:52 AM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Related (?): Loftium, a startup that subsidizes your down payment in return for a cut of airbnb profits for a couple years.
posted by mosst at 9:37 AM on September 20, 2017
posted by mosst at 9:37 AM on September 20, 2017
please stop capitalizing the Bs.
nO.
posted by pracowity at 9:37 AM on September 20, 2017 [12 favorites]
nO.
posted by pracowity at 9:37 AM on September 20, 2017 [12 favorites]
When I book AirBnBs, we've gotten little guest-house type places with fancy soaps and (often) free snacks, mini kitchen with fridge, and a coffeemaker. Glorious.
When I let my husband book AirBnB, he got a tiny room with bunkbeds
same except I end up with the good ones when I book airbnbs for my dirtbag friends and the bad ones when I book them for family I'm trying to impress even though I have the same approach both times
posted by Emily's Fist at 9:46 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
When I let my husband book AirBnB, he got a tiny room with bunkbeds
same except I end up with the good ones when I book airbnbs for my dirtbag friends and the bad ones when I book them for family I'm trying to impress even though I have the same approach both times
posted by Emily's Fist at 9:46 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
This reads like a listing in Provincetown.
Last time we rented there, we had a beautiful, charming little condo in the middle of town, tastefully decorated in a sort of Art Decoish theme. By the bed was a discreet sign, in careful copperplate script: NO OIL BASED LUBE
posted by xthlc at 10:14 AM on September 20, 2017 [29 favorites]
Last time we rented there, we had a beautiful, charming little condo in the middle of town, tastefully decorated in a sort of Art Decoish theme. By the bed was a discreet sign, in careful copperplate script: NO OIL BASED LUBE
posted by xthlc at 10:14 AM on September 20, 2017 [29 favorites]
Oh hey, I just remembered another Airbnb place - this one was one of the few times I did a private room, becuase I was just looking for a place to crash close to an airport so I could catch an early flight. I first looked at the place because it was a 15-minute drive to the airport...but the pictures themselves sold me.
I don't think there was a sex DUNGEON, per se (the host was pretty hippie-twee), but everything else pretty much said "hey, it's cool if you sex it up here."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:21 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't think there was a sex DUNGEON, per se (the host was pretty hippie-twee), but everything else pretty much said "hey, it's cool if you sex it up here."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:21 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
Oh god, the whole air bnb thing has always creeped me out! Ive never rented one. Staying in some stranger's house?! That they actually live in?!!! No way in hell! Im not sure what tbe reason would be to do this when you can just have a nice, impersonal hotel room and guilt-free sex.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 10:27 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by WalkerWestridge at 10:27 AM on September 20, 2017 [3 favorites]
A kitchen.
I'm going to Norway in December and it never once crossed my mind to try and book a hotel. I have the rental of a basement apartment in Bergen for nearly a week, within easy walking reach of everything I want to see and do. For the time I am going, the hotels in that area would be absolutely exorbitant, to say nothing of dining out for each meal. This way I have a reasonably priced apartment in a fabulous area and a kitchen so I can make soup and sandwiches and make dining out a special occasion thing.
Now, the private room in an otherwise shared home, that, I might balk at. If. I don't know the people that seems weird. But I'd much rather have a full apartment for less than the cost of a teeny hotel room with a minibar.
posted by angeline at 11:01 AM on September 20, 2017
I'm going to Norway in December and it never once crossed my mind to try and book a hotel. I have the rental of a basement apartment in Bergen for nearly a week, within easy walking reach of everything I want to see and do. For the time I am going, the hotels in that area would be absolutely exorbitant, to say nothing of dining out for each meal. This way I have a reasonably priced apartment in a fabulous area and a kitchen so I can make soup and sandwiches and make dining out a special occasion thing.
Now, the private room in an otherwise shared home, that, I might balk at. If. I don't know the people that seems weird. But I'd much rather have a full apartment for less than the cost of a teeny hotel room with a minibar.
posted by angeline at 11:01 AM on September 20, 2017
Staying in some stranger's house?! That they actually live in?!!!
I feel the same way. I ended up staying in an Airbnb twice this summer and the personal touches were just nerve-wracking. It was like being a guest at someone's house with all the attendant anxieties about not screwing anything up. At the same time, this was a stranger's personal space; I felt like a voyeur.
Give me a bland, mass-produced hotel room any day.
(On topic, the first visit was with another family with small kids and the second with my wife's parents, so there was no sex going on.)
posted by suetanvil at 11:12 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
I feel the same way. I ended up staying in an Airbnb twice this summer and the personal touches were just nerve-wracking. It was like being a guest at someone's house with all the attendant anxieties about not screwing anything up. At the same time, this was a stranger's personal space; I felt like a voyeur.
Give me a bland, mass-produced hotel room any day.
(On topic, the first visit was with another family with small kids and the second with my wife's parents, so there was no sex going on.)
posted by suetanvil at 11:12 AM on September 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
> AirBnB travellers: filtering your search to show you "entire place" options only can be a glorious thing. That's how you end up with the spare-apartment/guest-house kind of situations.
"Spare apartment" as in landlords who have forced out actual tenants so that the apartment can instead be listed on AirBnB, thereby fucking with rental markets and exacerbating housing shortages.
Not always. I see some "entire place" listings that are unlikely to fall into this category.
But the steady stream of strangers using the lockbox key to traipse in and out of the second-floor apartment in my friend's building is a security issue, and unfair to the actual tenants.
posted by desuetude at 11:54 AM on September 20, 2017 [14 favorites]
"Spare apartment" as in landlords who have forced out actual tenants so that the apartment can instead be listed on AirBnB, thereby fucking with rental markets and exacerbating housing shortages.
Not always. I see some "entire place" listings that are unlikely to fall into this category.
But the steady stream of strangers using the lockbox key to traipse in and out of the second-floor apartment in my friend's building is a security issue, and unfair to the actual tenants.
posted by desuetude at 11:54 AM on September 20, 2017 [14 favorites]
Mrs. Bastard and I had our worst anniversary vacation a few years ago because our airbnb hosts were way creepy and gross and were at home WAY MORE than they said they would be and I half suspect from our conversations with them that the main reason they did the airbnb thing was that they loved the idea of couples having sexytimes in their house a little too much. "Oh it's so nice that you're having a romantic getaway here! If you need anything from the condom-filled nightstand drawer, help yourself. Don't mind us, we'll be right here in the next room possibly watching porn, with our door open, and laying around in our underwear in such a way that you need to actively work to avoid seeing us when you go to use the bathroom."
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:56 AM on September 20, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:56 AM on September 20, 2017 [11 favorites]
But the steady stream of strangers using the lockbox key to traipse in and out of the second-floor apartment in my friend's building is a security issue, and unfair to the actual tenants.
Yeah, the house next door to the little house we rented in Berkeley for a couple years was an Airbnb rental for about half that time. We never had any issues with the visitors, except that they did not understand the informal street parking rules (most residents parked in front of their own places and tried to avoid parking in front of their neighbors' places). Stern glares were sometimes sent their way.
posted by notyou at 11:59 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
Yeah, the house next door to the little house we rented in Berkeley for a couple years was an Airbnb rental for about half that time. We never had any issues with the visitors, except that they did not understand the informal street parking rules (most residents parked in front of their own places and tried to avoid parking in front of their neighbors' places). Stern glares were sometimes sent their way.
posted by notyou at 11:59 AM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
I think...we'll just stick to fishing cabins, thank you very much.
posted by tully_monster at 1:57 PM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by tully_monster at 1:57 PM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
Ha, I just rented an AirBnB for the first time specifically for a sex getaway, so this is timely. We did look at hotels, but we were going to a beach resort town, and the cheapest, seediest motel was about the same price as the elegant guest cottage we ended up renting. I actually googled sex etiquette for AirBnBs and came up with the same forum post that little onion posted.
I told our host I am visiting with my HUSBAND for a ROMANTIC vacation and we appreciate PRIVACY *nudgenudgewinkwinksaynomore* because I was hoping to give him an easy out if he really was uncomfortable with strangers having sex on his property.
We were relatively quiet and stripped the bed afterwards. However...we went on this vacation specifically just to have sex away from our usual digs, so hubs felt under pressure and way more nervous than usual! Nobody told me about this little hazard of vacation sex.
posted by shalom at 1:59 PM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
I told our host I am visiting with my HUSBAND for a ROMANTIC vacation and we appreciate PRIVACY *nudgenudgewinkwinksaynomore* because I was hoping to give him an easy out if he really was uncomfortable with strangers having sex on his property.
We were relatively quiet and stripped the bed afterwards. However...we went on this vacation specifically just to have sex away from our usual digs, so hubs felt under pressure and way more nervous than usual! Nobody told me about this little hazard of vacation sex.
posted by shalom at 1:59 PM on September 20, 2017 [7 favorites]
Hilarious!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 2:08 PM on September 20, 2017
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 2:08 PM on September 20, 2017
I wonder how many people just steal all the photos in the AirBnB and replace them with photos of themselves masturbating in said AirBnB...
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:44 PM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:44 PM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
Just you, nanku, just you. It's how we knew you were a dog.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 4:27 PM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 4:27 PM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
There are enough stories about hidden and nanny cameras that I'm guessing a lot of hosts do it and get away with it.
posted by jojo and the benjamins at 7:01 PM on September 20, 2017
posted by jojo and the benjamins at 7:01 PM on September 20, 2017
verything in your hotel room has been in somebody's butt.
As awful as that is, at least you can have a scalding shower and try to leave the whole thing behind.
If you let strangers stay in your home, anything you own may suffer the same rectal fate.
Why the hell did you all think I suggested rinsing the bottles in the shower then?
posted by Samizdata at 7:15 PM on September 20, 2017
As awful as that is, at least you can have a scalding shower and try to leave the whole thing behind.
If you let strangers stay in your home, anything you own may suffer the same rectal fate.
Why the hell did you all think I suggested rinsing the bottles in the shower then?
posted by Samizdata at 7:15 PM on September 20, 2017
My then-girlfriend and I stayed at a wonderful AirBnB a few years ago. It was a cute little studio attached to the house of two nice gay men and their dog. I don't think the two of us left the apartment the whole weekend, and we didn't see the owners except for a hello when we arrived, but they sent us a nice note saying they were glad we'd had such a nice time, which we interpreted to mean, "We could hear you having sex at all hours of the day and night all weekend."
We also had a weekend in a hilariously cheap motel (all the small movable things like the trash bins and the key fob were branded items from major chains, as if they'd been bought on clearance when a place was redecorating), and it seriously took me until our last morning there to figure out that our annoying neighbors who were always turning the TV up really loud whenever we had sex were doing it to drown out the sound of us having sex.
I've never been willing to do a room-only AirBnB. I like my privacy too much. I don't even like to stay in regular B&Bs because it violates my sense of privacy and anonymity. But I've had very good experiences with standalone little apartments and the like, back when my long-distance girlfriend and I were meeting in the middle every couple of months.
posted by Orlop at 7:59 PM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
We also had a weekend in a hilariously cheap motel (all the small movable things like the trash bins and the key fob were branded items from major chains, as if they'd been bought on clearance when a place was redecorating), and it seriously took me until our last morning there to figure out that our annoying neighbors who were always turning the TV up really loud whenever we had sex were doing it to drown out the sound of us having sex.
I've never been willing to do a room-only AirBnB. I like my privacy too much. I don't even like to stay in regular B&Bs because it violates my sense of privacy and anonymity. But I've had very good experiences with standalone little apartments and the like, back when my long-distance girlfriend and I were meeting in the middle every couple of months.
posted by Orlop at 7:59 PM on September 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
"Spare apartment" as in landlords who have forced out actual tenants so that the apartment can instead be listed on AirBnB, thereby fucking with rental markets and exacerbating housing shortages.
*wince* I mean, I know that this is a controversial situation and I'm probably affected by the selfsame housing market issue. But the counter-argument is that cities are taking steps to control this, and from a selfish perspective, I would never be able to afford to stay in the hotels in the cities I visit. Airbnb is my choice largely because of price.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:27 PM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
*wince* I mean, I know that this is a controversial situation and I'm probably affected by the selfsame housing market issue. But the counter-argument is that cities are taking steps to control this, and from a selfish perspective, I would never be able to afford to stay in the hotels in the cities I visit. Airbnb is my choice largely because of price.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:27 PM on September 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
When I let my husband book AirBnB, he got a tiny room with bunkbeds in a shared flat for all three of us
I am basically your husband in this scenario, and I regret NOTHING. Wound up staying in an apartment share with four people, all of different nationalities, and discussing politics for like six hours. A++ would fake-college again.
posted by corb at 8:45 PM on September 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
I am basically your husband in this scenario, and I regret NOTHING. Wound up staying in an apartment share with four people, all of different nationalities, and discussing politics for like six hours. A++ would fake-college again.
posted by corb at 8:45 PM on September 20, 2017 [5 favorites]
AiRbNb: I am basically your husband in this scenario
posted by pracowity at 11:34 PM on September 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 11:34 PM on September 20, 2017 [6 favorites]
> *wince* I mean, I know that this is a controversial situation and I'm probably affected by the selfsame housing market issue. But the counter-argument is that cities are taking steps to control this, and from a selfish perspective, I would never be able to afford to stay in the hotels in the cities I visit. Airbnb is my choice largely because of price.
I have settled into something that feels ethical to me by only booking AirBnB with hosts who yes, actually live in the property. BUT with some pretty specific criteria to get the experience I want.
1) I only book private rooms with private bath or a close-enough equivalent.
2) I want to be booking an actual spare guest bedroom, not the hosts' bed (e.g. not a situation where the hosts decamp from their own master bedroom to their dinky guest bedroom just when AirBnB bookings are in town.)
3) I won't book places where the host is one of several roommates and it's not entirely clear that the entire household considers themselves to be the AirBnB host (e.g. renting out their own bedroom while they're travelling and their roommates are "cool with it and won't bother you.")
4) I pick places with hosts who say things like "have enjoyed chatting without guests and are happy to give you advice on what to do and where to eat, but totally cool with you wanting to keep to yourself, too." I make sure that the reviews back up this attitude.
5) I avoid hosts who appear to be doing AirBnB primarily for the experience of meeting and talking with their guests. That's a thing, and it's totally fine, sometimes those people seem super nice, but it's not what I'm after. (Mostly because it feels a little weirder for me to be paying folks so much money to stay in their house if they want my company equally as badly as I want the service they're providing.)
Practically speaking, what this generally boils down to are couples who have lucked into unusual or large apartments/rowhomes (I'm usually staying in cities), who are hosting as a means of extra income, and treat it as a sort of hobby where they enjoy getting to play innkeeper.
posted by desuetude at 9:20 AM on September 21, 2017
I have settled into something that feels ethical to me by only booking AirBnB with hosts who yes, actually live in the property. BUT with some pretty specific criteria to get the experience I want.
1) I only book private rooms with private bath or a close-enough equivalent.
2) I want to be booking an actual spare guest bedroom, not the hosts' bed (e.g. not a situation where the hosts decamp from their own master bedroom to their dinky guest bedroom just when AirBnB bookings are in town.)
3) I won't book places where the host is one of several roommates and it's not entirely clear that the entire household considers themselves to be the AirBnB host (e.g. renting out their own bedroom while they're travelling and their roommates are "cool with it and won't bother you.")
4) I pick places with hosts who say things like "have enjoyed chatting without guests and are happy to give you advice on what to do and where to eat, but totally cool with you wanting to keep to yourself, too." I make sure that the reviews back up this attitude.
5) I avoid hosts who appear to be doing AirBnB primarily for the experience of meeting and talking with their guests. That's a thing, and it's totally fine, sometimes those people seem super nice, but it's not what I'm after. (Mostly because it feels a little weirder for me to be paying folks so much money to stay in their house if they want my company equally as badly as I want the service they're providing.)
Practically speaking, what this generally boils down to are couples who have lucked into unusual or large apartments/rowhomes (I'm usually staying in cities), who are hosting as a means of extra income, and treat it as a sort of hobby where they enjoy getting to play innkeeper.
posted by desuetude at 9:20 AM on September 21, 2017
BBC:
Colin (not his real name) contacted the BBC (an acronym for their real name) when he (not his real pronoun?) discovered the flat he rents out on Airbnb (do not capitalize the Bs!) had been turned into a pop-up brothel.posted by pracowity at 12:18 PM on September 21, 2017 [1 favorite]
I think my first Airbnb host had had issues with people (especially young men, she hinted) having fun and then not cleaning it up. Shortly after she showed me into the room, she brought in an industrial-sized roll of kitchen towel and thumped it down on the bedside table. "For the mess," she said ominously while keeping eye contact.
posted by The Zeroth Law at 10:26 PM on September 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by The Zeroth Law at 10:26 PM on September 21, 2017 [3 favorites]
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