I’ll just leave this here/The fuck up before he kills us all.
September 29, 2017 10:50 PM   Subscribe

Provide a Twitter handle to Poetweet and get back a sonnet or a rondel.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (25 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Title source.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:50 PM on September 29, 2017

Inescapable lairs
by Dwarf Fortress Bugs

Choppers cut from tops of trees
Will choose ones too big to use
Block flow of smoke (and bees)
Who tries to sleep in their house

No fish reported, fish visible
2079: Turtles extremely rare
More vomit thrown up than possible
By mother don't get any healthcare.

Bodies from cages is tedious.
Friendly upon receiving names
On him and beat him unconscious
Aspect of most games!
Bugs are often fucking hilarious
posted by dilaudid at 11:09 PM on September 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

Mouth clear
by Theophile Escargot

Better but still understated Leave
Waylaid on Skype about another
Crash as global asset prices unrave
At a Predatory Publisher"

Splodge when I put in on plates
Walked 5 km according to phone.
Be forever the tling the elites"
People hassling me. Got it done

About atomic bomb in 1945: Via:
Of medieval elephant images:
In 1867, neither's really Belgravia

49% to 38% say May should resign.
Humiliated | London Antifascists
Rhetoric of the referendum campaign
Performance targets
by Theophile Escargot

Rejection Letter
In 1917 Russia? I am an Anarchist
Know if it's worked or a disaster.
Believer more than an opportunist

Wonder if they're toxic to humans
Waylaid on Skype about another
Not safe for Hillary fans:
At a Predatory Publisher"

Probably what they meant all along.
The main character's gender:
Wonder why it took you so long"
Corbyn still cling on as leader?
Unwilling to do it." David Wong
Disturbingly good, at least by my standards...
posted by TheophileEscargot at 12:00 AM on September 30, 2017

On that
by Going T. Maine

Year and now i'm two countries.
Out of a goofy comedy podcast.
Has rabies, does he have rabies?)
The past isn't past.

Is terrifying and depressing.
Getting mad about is juvenile.
Easy it is to be white. Amazing.
From the front than in profile.

Houses because they are ham devils.
Q: when do NDAs become moot?

Idea he had effed up the election.
Numbers took a ten-point tumble.
Yhat's ggplot reimplementation?
posted by Going To Maine at 12:12 AM on September 30, 2017

This thing
by wint
Keg with turds "Just in case"
Perfect tweet is "Dolezal Rules"
A disgrace. nobody fav this please
I will make more things circles

Accuses me of being "Off Brand"
Your pay check is in the trash
A sword between seasons 1 and 2
Game with a suitcase full of cash

For 1000 years, no more excuses
The facts come in, regarding Putin
While kicking my fake friends asses
To ask if im allowed to eat Pectin
Of turds and piss off of overpasses

A @dril rondel!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:22 AM on September 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

Pretty close…
by aubilenon

Fricative), nobody notices
Than cambridge’s oatmeal restaurant
I’ll keep thinking on places
What if Trump was just a houseplant

Btw: cuttlebone
How one would even try to do that
Looks more 3D than the first one

(The most bodily of fluids)
Do you bristle at pin cushions?
Well cats at least are liquids

Ambient music is my jammies
Mixing foods together is gross!!
Going to eat so many groceries!!!
posted by aubilenon at 1:38 AM on September 30, 2017

For instance
by Facts About Eggs

It’s the other way around!
To be small and non-conductive
The inside of a bird is round
Is mostly a matter of perspective

Airplane eggs are called hangars
Greatly affected by tidal forces
That are piloted by rock stars
Hilly areas like to have egg races

Birds can lay eggs for propulsion
Eggs are delicious
Mankind’s greatest invention

Of eggs to help them become rounder
Except the prize is better!
Eggs is murder!
posted by aubilenon at 1:48 AM on September 30, 2017 [2 favorites]

The planet
by Oi You
Car start is the worst cop-out.
Instead of spouting nonsense.
That "client" tries to balance out.
The context I think it makes sense.

X Factor finalist is a bit shit.
A LOT of times biting our tongues
Rape culture and many other issues.

Marx quote been more appropriate.
The look of the French Onion tart 😊
Get your KAT badge at this rate."

Ha! Claudia is the best.
Just going full on FUCK ALL Y'ALL.
Her. (I have a life, honest...)
posted by billiebee at 1:48 AM on September 30, 2017

It ends like this: Poetweet?
posted by darksasami at 3:03 AM on September 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

Hard Questions by @diana_monkey

Before Your Defense music, right?
Islamophobia and other harassment!
An archaeologist on this flight.
Graduation present!

Sweet! We should gather!
Vervet monkeys, of North America.
Is not as habituated as his mother.
Fabulously named _Bitis gabonica_.

Herbarium sometime soon - I'll…
... this has pissed me off before.
Stubborn, courageous, looks sill…

Clearly the best of the lemurs!
Quite this comprehensive...
Summer? I leave it in 5 hours!
posted by ChuraChura at 4:35 AM on September 30, 2017

This is great!

I don't want to out my Twitter handle here as it's my work account, but this is the sonnet I got:

By known Russian propaganda sources
Mediated by anthropologists:
Of cultural features and pratices
Behaving like capitalists.…

For systemic oppression by capital
In and sonorising visuals.
As digital
Resources for new arrivals

Electronics, and computers:
To facsimiles where available:
Inspiration for web by designers.

Reckon you could hack one together!
In North America (Tracy Rector
From one actor's face to another:
posted by lollusc at 7:03 AM on September 30, 2017

Reprehensibleplus cong…
by @Cher

Being Propped Up ,Only Smaller
Contempt Just like your leader✋🏻
MoFo...Cong won't 🙏🏻4 MUELLER

& trump,murder incorporated.
Conditions..DIE out of VENGEANCE
Have known it since he started.
Arm off. Was it 1st lady of France

DISABILITY CARE Infrastructure ‼️
God’s Wrath⚡️ 🔥ROY MOORE🔥

About white identity politics
Sings Inner Stellar Songs
Did you see ALL THE PICS🤣
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 9:17 AM on September 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

by @The_IronSheik




posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 9:20 AM on September 30, 2017

Evan Bernard
by @MixedUpHipHop

Just like mail, you're quite stale
Freeze up like it was some disease
Treat rap like pink champale
You played me like a vase

Your ass like a Coney Island ride
Like Marvin Haggler in his prime
Reloaded like I'm on a water slide
Like a sandwich, a bit at a time

My Grape Ape, I feel like Schroeder
Rhymes like I read the directions
Fry you like wine as I get older
Tom Vu with Yachts and Mansions
That'll sting your face like murder
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 9:25 AM on September 30, 2017 [4 favorites]

My brother
by Phil Jern

Guys planning this year's segment?
Especially the Forum letters :)
Her. She was happy and confident :)
Ploy to humiliate teachers.

Home from work we're gonna feast!
Shows up fresh on the shelves.
Dinner tonight... Pot roast
Parts for old steam locomotives).

Leave out of it, though.
Calls become nipple dials?
Thanks for that laugh! :)
Only 30 minutes with commercials.
posted by pjern at 9:56 AM on September 30, 2017

I like how it doesn't really understand rhymes, but the assonances are still interesting and good.
posted by dilaudid at 11:16 AM on September 30, 2017

Safe space

BBC's Famalam is kinda amazing.
Ooh, provocative connections!
Oh man, stroopwafels are my undoing
Self-censor about work conditions.

Have been permanently re-housed.
Of Proud Boys. Ask your numer…
Always there, among the oppressed.
Be Wrong on the Internet: A Primer.

Would be good to remind ourselves
Tips, 📚, links, & dank memes
Onion, & whole garlic cloves. 🍽

Going to be 💯 % (out)rage arias.
To be an 'eat my feelings' night.
posted by LMGM at 12:25 PM on September 30, 2017

It mattered
by @howrawhowrue

We found out a little too late.
Of the government for personal use.
Bars, waiting for her court date.
What was happening in the house?

Spate of wholesale cat adoptions.
Everything look more like a nail."
She forgot the suggestions.
Everyone marveled. No tail.

Or "beign?"
Alan Dershowitz is off the rails.
Get in, this is a terrible sign).

That when I’m awake, but I’m nicer.
And hairballs all over the quilt.
The daughter of a man with cancer.
posted by Peach at 3:01 PM on September 30, 2017

Ooh, ooh, here's one from @MobyDickatSea!

Stood apart
by Moby Dick
Desert, try this experiment
How immaterial are all materials!
What seemed a systematic movement
But to the King of the Cannibals

Men may have mean and meagre faces
Death itself, there is no telling.
From a score of clubbed voices.
On an undigested apple-dumpling

Every man's and every being's face.
The more whales the less fish
Still New Bedford is a queer place.

I and Queequeg—a cosy, loving pair.
Its steep sides; then all collapsed
Bulk into the pure element of air
posted by Peach at 3:04 PM on September 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

Line Trimmer
by Horse ebooks

Another place would tell
The research behind this entire
Learn How to Sell
Order Empire.

Article Marketing Profits
And practical explanations
Sizzlin Circuits
In difficult and trying situations.

Overheads are low, usually just
Make wishes for the things
Distance between buildings.
Joe and I toiled in the dust
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:59 PM on September 30, 2017

Sodding repose
by @FuckingBard

Together in the fucking earth,
EDGAR Give me thy fucking arm.
Her motherfucking dolor forth!
Shall do consarn no sodding harm.

Ne'er befall our sodding state.
God-damned fee than consarn hate.

Goddamn upon motherfucking record
In thee to goddamn kill care.

Consarn base for fucking Proteus.
I suffered in your fucking crime.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 5:35 AM on October 1, 2017 [3 favorites]

To birdicide
by birdsrightsactivist

One today sorry everbredy else.
Vetting: if you squirle;; no bread.
An car bread????? I detect false.
We be blame the goats instead?

BIRD hurry poll close tonight
Being human a preexist condition
To be disturbed for an fortnight.
Finish read until after lection

Instance such as on huge billboard
I found an worm but it eggscaped
I pooped
Have same idea try now peck hard
posted by Tiny Bungalow at 6:34 AM on October 1, 2017 [2 favorites]

Your head
by @MissConstrue

From the consent of the governed,
With houses full of teenagers.
How deep racism is ingrained
In just my rejection letters.

So jealous.
Evil again. Show some courage.
He's inhumane, cruel and dangerous.
In my way. May require carriage...

That belonged to my grandfather.
Dogs too, but we may be too far north.
Oh yes, my favorite escape.

Artist. Prosperity gospel is a lie.
How exciting is that? Eleventy One!
I mean, look how many people believe.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 4:42 PM on October 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

Mr “santaman””
by birdsrightsactivist

Not friends also I dont have hands
Still can't?#breezeFeelSoGoodUpHere

Right but gets switched sometime
"a illustrated guide to birdicide"?
Of a nut. I'm feel confuse inside.

Bluble; can you and me be forever?
Bird Milk®©: It Is From Birds?
You can have some which IS NEVER
THE TIEMS BIRD TIEMS 4 ever n ever.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:28 PM on October 1, 2017

Of potential
by Denny’s

Invalidating your wants and needs
When you say frankenstein, chill
They're actually sesame seeds
Cmon guys, still?

One thing, lunch exists…re’s that
System? please don’t say evil.
Of hash browns out of a top hat
I can be your yuor devil

How will you spend friday night?
Who’ve scolded your volume.
As dependents on your taxes, right?
Just gonna crack some eggs tonight

That’s actually pretty good.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:31 PM on October 1, 2017

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