Making Plans for Nigel
February 2, 2018 2:02 PM Subscribe
Nigel, the world's loneliest bird dies next to the concrete decoy he loved
To Nigel
You stayed awhile on Mana Island,
Attracted by your concrete mates
You built a nest, you did your best
But only Norman dropped on by.
We weeded, we painted, we sprayed guano around.
We hoped you’d find the real thing.
Three newbies arrived, a Christmas surprise,
But suddenly you are gone.
RIP ‘no mates’ Nigel
To Nigel
You stayed awhile on Mana Island,
Attracted by your concrete mates
You built a nest, you did your best
But only Norman dropped on by.
We weeded, we painted, we sprayed guano around.
We hoped you’d find the real thing.
Three newbies arrived, a Christmas surprise,
But suddenly you are gone.
RIP ‘no mates’ Nigel
"A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is a word"
-The Trashman.
Г> Ω
posted by clavdivs at 2:12 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Well, everybody knows that the bird is a word"
-The Trashman.
Г> Ω
posted by clavdivs at 2:12 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Maybe the real friends were the concrete birds we fell in love with along the way.
RIP little guy.
posted by maxsparber at 2:19 PM on February 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
RIP little guy.
posted by maxsparber at 2:19 PM on February 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
I guess this is a real danger for birds who mate for life? See also, the sad tale of Grape-Kun.
posted by codacorolla at 2:20 PM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by codacorolla at 2:20 PM on February 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
.
This is not what I needed on a Friday.
posted by paulcole at 2:22 PM on February 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
This is not what I needed on a Friday.
posted by paulcole at 2:22 PM on February 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
<:'-C
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 2:31 PM on February 2, 2018
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 2:31 PM on February 2, 2018
dammit I make one post over fifteen years and it's a dupe. I guess I misspelled "gannet" when I searched.
posted by me & my monkey at 2:41 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by me & my monkey at 2:41 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Well, it's not quite a dupe -- the other one was posted before Nigel's death.
posted by tavella at 2:42 PM on February 2, 2018
posted by tavella at 2:42 PM on February 2, 2018
Perhaps not so much lonely as unrequited...
.
posted by jim in austin at 2:52 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
.
posted by jim in austin at 2:52 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
The Primus cover of Making Plans for Nigel has been stuck in my head all day, and dangit it's a super annoying juxtaposition with this miserable tale.
RIP Nigel, I hope you found at least some companionship with that concrete imposter.
posted by Existential Dread at 3:18 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
RIP Nigel, I hope you found at least some companionship with that concrete imposter.
posted by Existential Dread at 3:18 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
I can tell by the title that I will not be clicking on any links.
posted by Splunge at 3:21 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Splunge at 3:21 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
At least this will be down off the edge of the front page of MF by Valentine's Day.
posted by 445supermag at 3:42 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by 445supermag at 3:42 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
.
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 3:48 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 3:48 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Could it be that Nigel had a decoy kink? Maybe he was happy.
posted by rdr at 4:27 PM on February 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by rdr at 4:27 PM on February 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
She was really hard to him.
posted by randomkeystrike at 4:42 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by randomkeystrike at 4:42 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
"Lonely Gannet Boy" loosely adapted from the Dolls, sorry...
posted by ovvl at 5:55 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by ovvl at 5:55 PM on February 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
why are you showing me this
posted by Caxton1476 at 6:14 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Caxton1476 at 6:14 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
This is maybe the saddest, most modern thing I've ever seen. I detest this world we've been given.
posted by brand-gnu at 6:28 PM on February 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by brand-gnu at 6:28 PM on February 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
when I first saw a headline about this today I thought the story was that one bird had died next to its longer dead love, just sitting there for a while, a la that Futurama dog episode, and I was preemptively heartbroken
turns out the true story was kind of even more heartbreaking
.
posted by Kybard at 6:30 PM on February 2, 2018
turns out the true story was kind of even more heartbreaking
.
posted by Kybard at 6:30 PM on February 2, 2018
I think we've all been through our Pygmalion phase. He just kept faith.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:42 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:42 PM on February 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Aw, Nigel. :-(
posted by sarcasticah at 6:52 PM on February 2, 2018
posted by sarcasticah at 6:52 PM on February 2, 2018
.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:50 PM on February 2, 2018
posted by tobascodagama at 7:50 PM on February 2, 2018
I remember a friend of mine who's SO had pet rats. One of the rats once stuck her head in my mouth and licked my teeth. Apparently this is a semi-common thing with pet rats. Uncommonly, I was alright with the experience. I remarked that it made me feel like a crocodile, opening my mouth to let some little bird cleaning my teeth. I bring it up because of the discussion my friend and I had about this comparison. "How do you think the crocodile understands his relationship with the birds?" My friend was of the opinion that the crocodile probably had the same emotional framework for the experience as I did "I could close my mouth, but that would be wrong." I'm still not sure I agree.
At the same time. I wonder if Nigel understood his concrete companion the same way I understand the strangers I talk to online. "This is not what I need. This is not real. But it's close enough that I don't hurt as much." Or at least if Nigel's feelings were the equivalent of the feelings I have that give rise to that expression. I hope not.
I don't know. Sometimes I think anthropomorphizing animals is the height of narcissism; we're unable to let animals be what they are, and must make them into fractional versions of ourselves. I also wonder if my resistance to the idea is because of how fucking grim the world is if viewed in that context.
Alternatively, me & my monkey has posted something that hits at least five raw nerves on a night when I'm 3 pints in and I'm having trouble processing anything coherently but still feel motivated to say something.
posted by Grimgrin at 8:38 PM on February 2, 2018 [12 favorites]
At the same time. I wonder if Nigel understood his concrete companion the same way I understand the strangers I talk to online. "This is not what I need. This is not real. But it's close enough that I don't hurt as much." Or at least if Nigel's feelings were the equivalent of the feelings I have that give rise to that expression. I hope not.
I don't know. Sometimes I think anthropomorphizing animals is the height of narcissism; we're unable to let animals be what they are, and must make them into fractional versions of ourselves. I also wonder if my resistance to the idea is because of how fucking grim the world is if viewed in that context.
Alternatively, me & my monkey has posted something that hits at least five raw nerves on a night when I'm 3 pints in and I'm having trouble processing anything coherently but still feel motivated to say something.
posted by Grimgrin at 8:38 PM on February 2, 2018 [12 favorites]
“How do you think the crocodile understands his relationship with the birds?”
Alas, I am sad to report that the crocodile tooth cleaning bird is a myth. But there are many other, for real symbiotic relationships out there of similar types.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:10 PM on February 2, 2018
Alas, I am sad to report that the crocodile tooth cleaning bird is a myth. But there are many other, for real symbiotic relationships out there of similar types.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:10 PM on February 2, 2018
One of the rats once stuck her head in my mouth and licked my teeth.... I was alright with the experience. Posted by Grimgrin
Eponysterical.
posted by carmicha at 10:25 PM on February 2, 2018
Eponysterical.
posted by carmicha at 10:25 PM on February 2, 2018
It's interesting to see the difference between how Nigel No Mates and Grape-kun are treated. Whereas Grape-kun got a lot of sympathy and love from otaku & weeaboos for loving his waifu, poor old Nigel was mocked for not understanding the difference between 2D and real female gannets.
It just goes to show that no matter how weird otaku can get, they're never as cruel as quote unquote regular people.
posted by MartinWisse at 4:16 AM on February 3, 2018
It just goes to show that no matter how weird otaku can get, they're never as cruel as quote unquote regular people.
posted by MartinWisse at 4:16 AM on February 3, 2018
I thought it had a bittersweet ending.
I was relieved when the article said Nigel had made the island seem legit enough for three more birds to join the colony.
posted by aniola at 6:01 AM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
I was relieved when the article said Nigel had made the island seem legit enough for three more birds to join the colony.
posted by aniola at 6:01 AM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Nigel, Lonesome George and the 52Hz whale...
posted by acb at 6:03 AM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by acb at 6:03 AM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
I don't quite understand why, when it was clear the experiment to populate the island with birds failed, the scientists didn't pull Nigel out and reintroduce him to his own living kind. I mean, when they visited and said, "Nope, this didn't work," the researchers didn't place Nigel in the same cage they brought him to the island in, and take him back home. Where were their hearts?
posted by but no cigar at 10:34 AM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by but no cigar at 10:34 AM on February 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Sometimes I think anthropomorphizing animals is the height of narcissism; we're unable to let animals be what they are, and must make them into fractional versions of ourselves.
Seeing animals as versions of ourselves is narcissistic. Seeing animals as having emotions and lives independent of us is not narcissistic at all, and is getting more and more scientific proof. Plus, we humans ARE animals. Two very different definitions of anthropomorphizing: hierarchical versus relational.
I truly hope Nigel was okay with his life. The Guardian article on his passing ended on a nice note:
Seeing animals as versions of ourselves is narcissistic. Seeing animals as having emotions and lives independent of us is not narcissistic at all, and is getting more and more scientific proof. Plus, we humans ARE animals. Two very different definitions of anthropomorphizing: hierarchical versus relational.
I truly hope Nigel was okay with his life. The Guardian article on his passing ended on a nice note:
“From a conservation point of view, he was a massive asset to have. Because the concrete gannets – they may have fooled Nigel – but they never fooled another gannet. We always considered Nigel increased our chances of getting a colony going, and that seems to be in the end what happened,” said Bell.posted by fraula at 10:38 AM on February 3, 2018 [5 favorites]
“He was an attraction that helped bring in other birds – gannets like to nest where a gannet has nested before. It’s really sad he died, but it wasn’t for nothing.”
So my understanding is that nobody literally brought Nigel to Mana Island, DoC might be kind of odd but they don't tend to put one living bird in with a bunch of decoys.
Nigel was the only gannet that was attracted by the decoys and the sound system, for years, eventually it seems that DoC managed to get their sound system a bit better sorted and between that and Nigel made Mana attractive enough that more gannets are turning up.
I always figured that Nigel was a bit broken, even by Gannet standards, but he chose to be on Mana, it would have been cruel to catch him and try and shovel him with other Gannets, he was healthy and made his choice.
posted by fido~depravo at 2:27 PM on February 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
Nigel was the only gannet that was attracted by the decoys and the sound system, for years, eventually it seems that DoC managed to get their sound system a bit better sorted and between that and Nigel made Mana attractive enough that more gannets are turning up.
I always figured that Nigel was a bit broken, even by Gannet standards, but he chose to be on Mana, it would have been cruel to catch him and try and shovel him with other Gannets, he was healthy and made his choice.
posted by fido~depravo at 2:27 PM on February 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
Ah, that helps. Thanks so much, fido~depravo.
posted by but no cigar at 2:58 PM on February 3, 2018
posted by but no cigar at 2:58 PM on February 3, 2018
Ranking New Zealand's Greatest Celebrity Animals.
Too soon?
posted by Start with Dessert at 10:12 AM on February 9, 2018
Too soon?
posted by Start with Dessert at 10:12 AM on February 9, 2018
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