Scritches not stitches
March 22, 2018 9:33 PM   Subscribe

Please enjoy these videos of animals enjoying scritches: A tiger quoll | A birb | Jeddah the bat | A blind horse (reciprocal scritches!) | RonRon the fox | A teeny kitten | Marble the chinchilla | A cow | Max Lynx | and no post is complete without A dog.
posted by Johnny Wallflower (41 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
 
I love how that "dog" is so high content it's basically a wolf. It sure likes its butt scratched! We have Mexican Grey Wolves at the SF Zoo, and looking at them stalking around, resting and eating all I want to do is pet them because they are *clearly* large doggies. It's maybe a good thing I didn't grow up anywhere where there are wild wolves- I'd either have been eaten or become a wolf-raised feral child.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:38 PM on March 22 [7 favorites]


Also I just love Max the Ambassador Lynx- there are a few videos floating around of him and he's just such a big fucking big footed baby cat I love him so much.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:42 PM on March 22 [11 favorites]


Um. OMGIWANTALYNX.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 9:57 PM on March 22 [2 favorites]


The lynx is the best.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:10 PM on March 22 [3 favorites]


A scritch in time saves...stitch? Yeah, I got nothin'.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:27 PM on March 22


I wonder how many other species groom other species who aren't actually eating insects picked off them or similar.
posted by praemunire at 10:45 PM on March 22 [2 favorites]


Also, geez, when dogs brace their back legs like that it means they want backwards butt-skritches (against the grain). Get with the program, dude!
posted by praemunire at 10:46 PM on March 22 [8 favorites]




I gave my birb and epic scritch earlier today it is one of the finer joys in life
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:32 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]


That fox did not appreciate the scritches inside his mouth one bit!
posted by waving at 11:48 PM on March 22


That kitten is so tiny! Despite being very fond of cats and a regular catsitter, I've never had the opportunity to handle an actual handheld-sized kitten. That video is literally one of my life goals.
posted by Vesihiisi at 12:21 AM on March 23 [5 favorites]


I WANT TO SNUGGLE THAT LEOPARD!!!

Thank you, nicebookrack. I needed that.
posted by greermahoney at 12:24 AM on March 23 [2 favorites]


And this is why Nature in the round let us evolve without devouring our defenceless, hairless selves at every given opportunity - we have one main function and that is to use our clever monkey fingers and opposable monkey thumbs for the greater good in pursuit of appropriate scritching.

Our dog is a fiend for bumscratches - he reverses up to you like a lorry and braces against your leg and will not move until suitable scratching has been delivered. He also likes a firm squeeze of the hind leg muscles, a bit like a massage.

Come the apocalypse, maybe our new animal overlords will keep us on for scritching purposes?
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 1:57 AM on March 23 [9 favorites]


Come the apocalypse, maybe our new animal overlords will keep us on for scritching purposes?

Unfortunately, Bay Area venture capitalists are funding startups to disrupt petting. Once their self-driving scritchers are unveiled, it’s all over!

The Blind Hubris! They’ve doomed us all!
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:19 AM on March 23 [4 favorites]


Oh man, that guy had no idea how to scratch the dogs tail area. You gotta get your fingers into the fur and SCRATCH.

Oh... yeah, what praemunire said above.
posted by greenhornet at 4:12 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Unfortunately, Bay Area venture capitalists are funding startups to disrupt petting. Once their self-driving scritchers are unveiled, it’s all over!

Will the app be called Scritchr?
posted by Dip Flash at 5:03 AM on March 23 [5 favorites]


The animals are enjoying the scritches but I think the humans are enjoying them too.
posted by carter at 5:12 AM on March 23 [2 favorites]


oh no! I haz work to do but scritches!
posted by allthinky at 5:16 AM on March 23


That guy with the fox is SO me.
posted by sutt at 6:26 AM on March 23


just what I needed but also just what I didn't need because now my life will be incomplete until I have scritched a lynx.
posted by martin q blank at 6:39 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]


OOOH — the lynx.

His big soft paws reminded me of the nicest thing my dog does: he has huge paws with long claws, but in the morning, when he comes to wake me up, he'll retract the claws and wake me very carefully by pushing gently at my arm so he can have his morning scritch. Good start to any day, rain or shine.
posted by mumimor at 6:46 AM on March 23 [5 favorites]




That bat makes little squeaky noises of pleasure and I love him so much. Also I was scritching my dog while watching that wolf-dog video and I think I was scratching Moe extra-vigorously in response to how inadequately that guy was petting.

This was a good post to wake up to.
posted by DingoMutt at 7:32 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Is there any mammal which, on a species level, doesn't like some form of "getting scritches"?
posted by inconstant at 7:44 AM on March 23


When I stop scritching my dog, he'll actually whip out a paw and slap me to keep going.

That's pretty lousy behavior...but he gets the scritch anyway. So I'm screwed.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:58 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]


I have just one word to say: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
posted by widdershins at 8:00 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Now THIS is my kind of bracket!
posted by missmobtown at 8:29 AM on March 23


I never would have thought of naming a fox RonRon, but that fox is totally a RonRon. He is the very paragon of RonRons.

Also, I think my Kitten Fever just came out of remission. Whosa sweet widda baby red? Oosa sweety weensie baby red! Whose widda punkin tummy needs a kissin?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:51 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]


That kitten is so tiny! Despite being very fond of cats and a regular catsitter, I've never had the opportunity to handle an actual handheld-sized kitten. That video is literally one of my life goals.

We got our most recent addition, Finley, when a friend's dog found their nest*. Good things did not ensue for all of the inhabitants, but we got Finners and we had to bottle feed her and IT WAS AMAZING. The only problem is that they grow SO FAST.

*the pic is my husband holding her in his hand and while he does have large-ish hands, she really was THAT TINY.
posted by cooker girl at 9:03 AM on March 23 [5 favorites]


Full video of octopus scritches!

briank is my favorite person on MetaFilter today.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:41 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]


I was once mugged by a tiny kitten. I was at a gas station in Utah filling up my motorcycle. Said perp accosted me and demanded my breakfast sandwich. Seeing no alternative, I complied. Then Stockholm Syndrome set in, and I started contemplating how let him mug me more often. As I was 1800 miles from home, traveling on a bike and have a husband who is SUPER allergic to cats, I negotiated my release and we parted ways.

But I still miss him.
posted by workerant at 9:47 AM on March 23 [6 favorites]


When I stop scritching my dog, he'll actually whip out a paw and slap me to keep going.

Dog Demands The Scritches
Dogs Demanding Petting Compilation 2017


Our dog is a fiend for bumscratches

Silly Dog Loves Scritches
Dog demands butt scratches
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:50 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Today I learned: 1. Tiger quolls are creatures that exist; and 2. Tiger quolls like scritches.

How have I not known either of these things before now?!
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 10:07 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]


I would die for Jedduh

Can't believe there's no cows here. Cows love scritches as much as dogs!

Cow scritches
Cow doin his own scritch
posted by FirstMateKate at 10:21 AM on March 23 [3 favorites]


There's one cow link in the post, FirstMateKate! But the more scritches the better.
posted by inconstant at 10:27 AM on March 23


Just clicked the scritches tag on Imgur and I guess my morning is toast.
posted by missmobtown at 10:39 AM on March 23 [2 favorites]


There's one cow link in the post, FirstMateKate! But the more scritches the better.
posted by inconstant at 1:27 PM on March 23 [+] [!]


You're right!! Look at that big tan baby!!!!
posted by FirstMateKate at 10:56 AM on March 23


My name is cow
and when im bored
i find human
and wander toward
i bow my hed
my ears they twitch
when human friend
give me the scritch
posted by FirstMateKate at 11:02 AM on March 23 [17 favorites]


Dogs Demanding Petting Compilation 2017 youtube

Yeah, I totally see this as a cute thing 99.99% of the time. But my doofus canine cold-cocked me right across the forehead.

Still, he got the scritch.
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:11 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Whenever my childhood dog, King the Whopping Huge Chocolate Lab, would find himself not getting his daily quota of humansnuggles, he'd get behind you wherever you were sitting, and simply insert himself, snout-first, between your arm and torso. If no petting was forthcoming, he'd simply place said snout under the nearest hand and follow it around.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:54 AM on March 23 [8 favorites]


Whatever brushes your goat, man.
posted by ninazer0 at 6:46 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


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