Pet Truths
May 12, 2018 8:22 AM Subscribe
Ahh I looked through all six pages and still didn't see my favorite dog at vet photo!
posted by batter_my_heart at 10:00 AM on May 12, 2018 [13 favorites]
posted by batter_my_heart at 10:00 AM on May 12, 2018 [13 favorites]
Hey, cut them some slack. Being a cat isn’t easy, you know. Believe me, I’ve tried!
posted by aubilenon at 10:03 AM on May 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 10:03 AM on May 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
The Best Dog I’ve Ever Owned™ absolutely loved the vet, as much as he loved every other place he got to visit. He’d be standing there wagging his tail like a goofball with a thermometer up his butt, tail smacking the poor vet in the face, just fucking STOKED to be there.
posted by Grandysaur at 10:05 AM on May 12, 2018 [24 favorites]
posted by Grandysaur at 10:05 AM on May 12, 2018 [24 favorites]
All of my dogs, even the current Angry McGrumpyface, have also loved the vet! They get attention and praise from familiar people and also get to smell all kinds of other dogs on the way in.
posted by moonmilk at 10:19 AM on May 12, 2018
posted by moonmilk at 10:19 AM on May 12, 2018
The multiple cats who manage to get themselves stuck in the same place every day, requiring rescue, are almost certainly doing it for the extra attention. (I have witnessed this phenomenon.) So perhaps not quite as dumb as they appear.
The cats unclear on the concept of doors are definitely familiar. Allan Armadale, the dominant and also dumbest cat in my household, took two years to figure out that a door left ajar could be opened by, you know, nudging it with a head or shoulder. Prior to alighting on that amazing discovery, he would plaintively stick a leg through the space and wave it around frantically. Once he figured out that he could open the door himself, he decided that the procedure required HEROIC MEASURES, so he now rears up on his hind legs and hurls himself at the offending door.
Allan is also the easiest cat to catch when it comes to going to the vet: I take out the carrier and open it. He immediately charges downstairs to jump in it before his siblings get there. As soon as I close the top, however, it belatedly occurs to him that this may not have been the best planning on his part. And yet, this happens every time.
posted by thomas j wise at 10:19 AM on May 12, 2018 [30 favorites]
The cats unclear on the concept of doors are definitely familiar. Allan Armadale, the dominant and also dumbest cat in my household, took two years to figure out that a door left ajar could be opened by, you know, nudging it with a head or shoulder. Prior to alighting on that amazing discovery, he would plaintively stick a leg through the space and wave it around frantically. Once he figured out that he could open the door himself, he decided that the procedure required HEROIC MEASURES, so he now rears up on his hind legs and hurls himself at the offending door.
Allan is also the easiest cat to catch when it comes to going to the vet: I take out the carrier and open it. He immediately charges downstairs to jump in it before his siblings get there. As soon as I close the top, however, it belatedly occurs to him that this may not have been the best planning on his part. And yet, this happens every time.
posted by thomas j wise at 10:19 AM on May 12, 2018 [30 favorites]
One of my cats has figured out that she can get into the bathroom cabinets by prying the door open with her paw (they don't latch).
She hasn't figured out that she can get out of the bathroom cabinets by...just pushing them. She will push a little bit, enough that she can see out, and then... give up?
This is the same cat that figured out that door handles open doors. She used to jump up and use her body weight get them to open. Now I have round doorknobs, and it doesn't work, but she still gets the connection.
So, I think she's smart, for a cat. But ... the bathroom cabinet thing...
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 10:57 AM on May 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
She hasn't figured out that she can get out of the bathroom cabinets by...just pushing them. She will push a little bit, enough that she can see out, and then... give up?
This is the same cat that figured out that door handles open doors. She used to jump up and use her body weight get them to open. Now I have round doorknobs, and it doesn't work, but she still gets the connection.
So, I think she's smart, for a cat. But ... the bathroom cabinet thing...
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 10:57 AM on May 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
Bored Panda is like the America's Funniest Home Videos of the intrawebs. Silly, potentially scary - but ultimately gently funny. Not such a bad thing...
posted by helmutdog at 11:03 AM on May 12, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by helmutdog at 11:03 AM on May 12, 2018 [4 favorites]
One morning I woke up to ungodly screaming and bounced up out of bed stark naked ready for a fight for my life since it sounded like someone was being murdered. When my brain spun up enough to match the adrenaline coursing through my body, I realized my cat Alex had gotten his head stuck in the back slats of a wooden chair we had in the bedroom. See they were wide enough at the bottom to slide his head through but as they moved up, they got closer together, and he couldn't pull his head out. All he had to do was put his head DOWN and then pull back and he'd get out just fine. Which I tried to tell him in my sleep-addled state but he didn't seem to understand.
I should point out that Alex's method of dealing with trouble is 1. Screaming at the top of his lungs and 2. Snapping his jaws, which the vet described as "having a bit more teeth than usual." We call it Sharkface.
"Here, look, you idiot, just put your head down..."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"No you just...lay down...and back and..."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Oh for fuck's sake, here, I'll do it for you..."
Now I KNOW BETTER THAN TO TOUCH A PANICKY BITEY ANIMAL but that part of my brain was still asleep and the part of my brain that wanted to go back to sleep said "Unwedge cat -> Cat stops screaming -> Go back to sleep -> Hurrah!"
So I reached for his head (stupid) intending to gently but firmly mash his head down and shove him backwards. And he, in his panic, chomped my hand and clamped right onto it like a shark taking down a whale. Fortunately I had enough presence of mind to not try and yank my hand away, probably because I was busy calling him a million terrible names. He eventually let go and, in his eagerness to be away from me, lowered down and scrambled back out of the chair and disappeared.
"I probably don't need to go to the doctor," I said, looking at my hand. "I'll just rinse this off and put some antibacterial ointment on it."
In the short walk from the bedroom to the bathroom, my body's enthusiastic bleeding caught up to the puncture wounds and I looked like Lady Mcbeth at the sink. Which meant I had to wrap my hand in a towel (all we had for that class of wounds), then go pull on clothes with my offhand (not as easy as it sounds!), then drive myself to the emergency room with my offhand (not nearly as easy as it sounds) for cleanup, shots, bandaging, and antibiotics. (Seriously, though, don't around mess with cat wounds).
I told the doc it was just some cat in the neighborhood I was helping since I ain't no snitch.
He did spend the next month or so acting very contrite in a manner I would totally classify as "We're still friends, right? It's cool? We're okay?" and looked like he felt so bad I felt awful.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:55 AM on May 12, 2018 [27 favorites]
I should point out that Alex's method of dealing with trouble is 1. Screaming at the top of his lungs and 2. Snapping his jaws, which the vet described as "having a bit more teeth than usual." We call it Sharkface.
"Here, look, you idiot, just put your head down..."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"No you just...lay down...and back and..."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"Oh for fuck's sake, here, I'll do it for you..."
Now I KNOW BETTER THAN TO TOUCH A PANICKY BITEY ANIMAL but that part of my brain was still asleep and the part of my brain that wanted to go back to sleep said "Unwedge cat -> Cat stops screaming -> Go back to sleep -> Hurrah!"
So I reached for his head (stupid) intending to gently but firmly mash his head down and shove him backwards. And he, in his panic, chomped my hand and clamped right onto it like a shark taking down a whale. Fortunately I had enough presence of mind to not try and yank my hand away, probably because I was busy calling him a million terrible names. He eventually let go and, in his eagerness to be away from me, lowered down and scrambled back out of the chair and disappeared.
"I probably don't need to go to the doctor," I said, looking at my hand. "I'll just rinse this off and put some antibacterial ointment on it."
In the short walk from the bedroom to the bathroom, my body's enthusiastic bleeding caught up to the puncture wounds and I looked like Lady Mcbeth at the sink. Which meant I had to wrap my hand in a towel (all we had for that class of wounds), then go pull on clothes with my offhand (not as easy as it sounds!), then drive myself to the emergency room with my offhand (not nearly as easy as it sounds) for cleanup, shots, bandaging, and antibiotics. (Seriously, though, don't around mess with cat wounds).
I told the doc it was just some cat in the neighborhood I was helping since I ain't no snitch.
He did spend the next month or so acting very contrite in a manner I would totally classify as "We're still friends, right? It's cool? We're okay?" and looked like he felt so bad I felt awful.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:55 AM on May 12, 2018 [27 favorites]
Poor doggos. Think about it. What does the inside of a vet's office smell like to a dog? Hundreds, nay, thousands of other dogs. All scared to death. They can smell it. Sick dogs, afraid dogs... and worse. Every one that was ever there because dogs can smell things real good. The fear is real. Hug your pets. Even the fish.
posted by Splunge at 12:48 PM on May 12, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 12:48 PM on May 12, 2018 [7 favorites]
I had to bring my 2 cats to the vet on thursday (check ups) they are always total babies about it, crying in their carriers and clinging to me in the exam room (the better to cover me in their fur). I see dogs in there too, but many of them seem pretty chill. saw an adorable corgi puppy who was just checking stuff out and wiggling and smelling things and being cute. didn't seem worried at all but maybe just too young to know better?
posted by supermedusa at 12:51 PM on May 12, 2018
posted by supermedusa at 12:51 PM on May 12, 2018
Yeah, I wanted to see some after photos of dogs getting snuggled or rewarded for being such good dogs for going to the vet. Seeing a bunch of photos of dogs nervous/upset when they realized they were going to vet made me sad.
posted by darksong at 2:57 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by darksong at 2:57 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
I can't stop ruminating over schemes to get that cat's head out of the broken top of that vase without cutting its neck to ribbons!
posted by jamjam at 3:05 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by jamjam at 3:05 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
When I take the two cats to the vet together they both cry all the way there, but only the dumb one cries on the way home.
posted by little cow make small moo at 3:45 PM on May 12, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by little cow make small moo at 3:45 PM on May 12, 2018 [6 favorites]
I'm reminded of a cat who had a fit because a paper towel had fallen on his food.
On the one hand, he could have moved the paper towel himself. On the other hand, he got me to move the paper towel, which was also a solution.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 3:47 PM on May 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
On the one hand, he could have moved the paper towel himself. On the other hand, he got me to move the paper towel, which was also a solution.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 3:47 PM on May 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
He’d be standing there wagging his tail like a goofball with a thermometer up his butt, tail smacking the poor vet in the face, just fucking STOKED to be there.
I had a cat that purred so hard and loud at the vet they could never hear her heart or lungs. She was just so happy to have someone paying attention to her; she loved everybody. Her purr was so loud that at home you'd have to turn the volume up on the TV to hear it over her.
posted by Orlop at 3:53 PM on May 12, 2018 [7 favorites]
I had a cat that purred so hard and loud at the vet they could never hear her heart or lungs. She was just so happy to have someone paying attention to her; she loved everybody. Her purr was so loud that at home you'd have to turn the volume up on the TV to hear it over her.
posted by Orlop at 3:53 PM on May 12, 2018 [7 favorites]
In the short walk from the bedroom to the bathroom, my body's enthusiastic bleeding caught up to the puncture wounds and I looked like Lady Mcbeth at the sink. Which meant I had to wrap my hand in a towel (all we had for that class of wounds), then go pull on clothes with my offhand (not as easy as it sounds!), then drive myself to the emergency room with my offhand (not nearly as easy as it sounds) for cleanup, shots, bandaging, and antibiotics. (Seriously, though, don't around mess with cat wounds).
My sweet little tabby managed to bite me so hard on the wrist while I was trying to get her into the cat carrier last year that I ended up at MedExpress for examinations and antibiotics. The doctor made me fill out a county dangerous animal form meant for pitbulls and the like so my little eight pound doofus cat is now registered with Allegheny County as a man eater.
posted by octothorpe at 3:55 PM on May 12, 2018 [11 favorites]
My sweet little tabby managed to bite me so hard on the wrist while I was trying to get her into the cat carrier last year that I ended up at MedExpress for examinations and antibiotics. The doctor made me fill out a county dangerous animal form meant for pitbulls and the like so my little eight pound doofus cat is now registered with Allegheny County as a man eater.
posted by octothorpe at 3:55 PM on May 12, 2018 [11 favorites]
Yes. Those poor dogs...
My totally mellow happy dogs, freak at the vet. Nothing pleasant ever happens there. They don't understand infections, antibiotics, and neutering...
posted by Windopaene at 5:27 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
My totally mellow happy dogs, freak at the vet. Nothing pleasant ever happens there. They don't understand infections, antibiotics, and neutering...
posted by Windopaene at 5:27 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
To be fair, even if they did understand neutering, it probably wouldn't make them feel any better.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:51 PM on May 12, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:51 PM on May 12, 2018 [4 favorites]
I had a pair of cats who learned how to open doors with doorknobs. The first cat figured out how to jump up and hang to turn the knob, and to kick on the door frame if necessary to get the door to swing open.
The second cat figured out if he sat at the door and cried, the first cat would come open the door for him.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:56 PM on May 12, 2018 [16 favorites]
The second cat figured out if he sat at the door and cried, the first cat would come open the door for him.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:56 PM on May 12, 2018 [16 favorites]
Was the first cat Jack?
If that cat had sired as many kittens as he deserved to, we'd be well on our way to a talking cat by now.
posted by jamjam at 6:49 PM on May 12, 2018
If that cat had sired as many kittens as he deserved to, we'd be well on our way to a talking cat by now.
posted by jamjam at 6:49 PM on May 12, 2018
The first cat WAS Jack, he of the help! (Here's Jack on the right, solid gray. Oscar on the left, who we got after Jack's first buddy died, thought Jack was his mom/God and followed him everywhere at a distance of no more than 6 feet.) He was a spectacular cat. He was a hard-luck-story rescue kitten with just one eye who thought he was my boyfriend and was NOT on board with Mr. McGee, who was terrified of the shower noise as a kitten but even more terrified of letting me out of his sight so he'd accompany me to the shower daily and eventually got to enjoy lolling on the counter in the steam for his daily schvitz. Since he could open doors, we always had to warn visitors to be SURE to lock the bathroom, and that if someone was incessantly jiggling the doorknob trying to get in, it was the cat, who was unhappy about missing a schvitz, not a pervy human. He weighed 20 lbs of solid muscle, and expressed his love with headbutts, which could just about give you a concussion. Loved car rides. Stole salads off the dining room table, but no other people food. Loved medicine. Such a weirdo.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:56 PM on May 12, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:56 PM on May 12, 2018 [6 favorites]
Some dogs are cool at the vet. Mine loves it, 'cause human attention! He doesn't give even the tiniest crap about other dogs - he treats them like they don't exist, and gets mildly offended when they insist on socializing with him - and he'll run right past them to greet their person. He's not scared or aggressive, just intensely disinterested . He wholly lumps himself in with the humans. So when he goes in there and smells scared and sick dogs, I imagine he must be going "ok but that doesn't pertain to me."
posted by gloriouslyincandescent at 7:53 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by gloriouslyincandescent at 7:53 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
I just discovered this two year old video of a dog who pretends he's a statue when he goes to the vet.
posted by eye of newt at 11:22 PM on May 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by eye of newt at 11:22 PM on May 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
I had a cat that purred so hard and loud at the vet they could never hear her heart or lungs
I had one of those. One of my more no-nonsense vets just blocked her nostrils gently until she ran out of breath to purr with. It gave her a little window, at least.
posted by restless_nomad at 10:32 AM on May 13, 2018
I had one of those. One of my more no-nonsense vets just blocked her nostrils gently until she ran out of breath to purr with. It gave her a little window, at least.
posted by restless_nomad at 10:32 AM on May 13, 2018
One of my dogs hates other dogs, so the vet ushers her into a room as soon as we get there. SHE LOVES IT. It's a University vet clinic, so the students are always pleasantly surprised because they see "NO LOBBY" on the chart and are expecting Cujo or something. Then they come in and Licorice jumps into their lap immediately and waits for petting.
I truly believe them when they say she's their favorite, because the one vet prof always makes the students do the shots and blood draws so she's not associated with the bad stuff. :)
posted by pixiecrinkle at 8:30 AM on May 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
I truly believe them when they say she's their favorite, because the one vet prof always makes the students do the shots and blood draws so she's not associated with the bad stuff. :)
posted by pixiecrinkle at 8:30 AM on May 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
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I just...wow...
That cat ain't right.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:06 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]