They're already wearing little hats.
June 6, 2018 3:50 PM   Subscribe

r/cospenis is a subreddit of people who dress their dicks up in little costumes. Like as a cactus or the Boss or maybe just in a cute little hoodie. Previously. EXTREMELY NSFW. ALL LINKS CONTAIN PICTURES OF ACTUAL PENISES. ALSO SOME LINKS CONTAIN REDDIT. IF YOU ARE NOT OK WITH DICK PICS (even adorbs cute ones!) OR REDDIT, THIS IS NOT THE FPP FOR YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
posted by phunniemee (49 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite


 
About 20 years ago I read about a man who started a company for thes, the manufacturer thought they were doll clothes and called him in a panic when he couldn't see openings for limbs in the patterns.
posted by brujita at 3:57 PM on June 6, 2018 [5 favorites]


There's a Metafilter cats-in-the-scanner joke here, somewhere, but I just can't quite find it.
posted by rokusan at 4:05 PM on June 6, 2018 [6 favorites]


Someone should do one of Jacko and title it “Michael Johnson.”
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 4:07 PM on June 6, 2018


Wasn't there an SNL skit with Dana Carvey about dressing up dicks for a Playgirl pictorial?
posted by chillmost at 4:17 PM on June 6, 2018 [1 favorite]


He made a calendar for his girlfriend!
posted by schadenfrau at 4:20 PM on June 6, 2018 [2 favorites]


I'm not looking through all of them to find out, but if there's one dressed as Richard Nixon somebody let me know.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:34 PM on June 6, 2018 [10 favorites]


I know, I know, eponysterical.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:34 PM on June 6, 2018 [39 favorites]


whelp I accidentally opened this link without thinking and had to fling my phone across my office to avoid anyone seeing which of course drew attention to my phone since it almost shattered on concrete but narrowly managed to land on a couch but haha penises in funny hats haha
posted by Hermione Granger at 4:35 PM on June 6, 2018 [9 favorites]


I'm sitting outside with my husband and started cackling like I'd won the Witches Sweepstakes. I tried to explain, and even show, but he just shook his head and wandered away. Wait till he sees the cape I'm making for father's day. Mwhahah.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 4:46 PM on June 6, 2018 [28 favorites]


had to fling my phone across my office to avoid anyone seeing

I'm going to need a diagram to explain how that helps.
posted by rokusan at 4:54 PM on June 6, 2018 [11 favorites]


BONE DOWN IN A DEAD MAN'S TOWN
THE FIRST DICK I TOOK IS WHEN I HIT THE GROUND
END UP LIKE A SCHLONG THAT'S BEEN BEAT TOO MUCH
TIL YOU SPEND ALL YOUR LIFE JUST A COVERIN IT UP YEAH

BOOOOONE IN THE USA

posted by Halloween Jack at 5:04 PM on June 6, 2018 [25 favorites]


Wait till he sees the cape I'm making for father's day.

A cape is far superior to the traditional tie, what with opening the door to all manner of superhero/vampire/Vlad the Impaler in-jokes.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:06 PM on June 6, 2018 [2 favorites]


Hard pass.
posted by jeffehobbs at 5:14 PM on June 6, 2018 [4 favorites]


Members...only.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:16 PM on June 6, 2018 [32 favorites]


Warning: this being reddit, the calendar link has several phalli in stereotypical ethnic dress and makeup.

Otherwise these are delightful.
posted by HeroZero at 5:17 PM on June 6, 2018


Hard pass.

No, some are soft, too.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:20 PM on June 6, 2018 [13 favorites]


These are neat. I feel like there's way too much dick-shaming in American culture, we hear a lot (from men and women) about how men's genitals are ugly and gross. Sometimes they're presented as something desirable, but it's rare that they're presented as something adorable. These dongs look like little happy muppets or something. The calendar one is genius, and his Trump-as-a-dick needs to be memed all over the place. (Isabella the trans penis is also a delight.)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:26 PM on June 6, 2018 [24 favorites]


No Ghost Rider? Cowards.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:33 PM on June 6, 2018 [10 favorites]




1. Buy or borrow a whole stable of dildos
2. Dress them all up in period costumes
3. Buy a little red stripey outfit and bobble hat
4. Where's Waldo!
5. ???
6. Profit
posted by duffell at 5:41 PM on June 6, 2018 [6 favorites]


I can't believe the lack of sensitivity here in Metafilter of all places. Anyone who'd expose their penises like this clearly has some kind of mental illness. I'm shocked that people here don't get that, and think this is some kind of joke.

TL;DR: I'm surprised you can't see they're nuts.
posted by PlusDistance at 5:42 PM on June 6, 2018 [24 favorites]


Dress them all up in period costumes

But this is penis cosplay
posted by zippy at 5:44 PM on June 6, 2018 [7 favorites]


I can't believe the lack of sensitivity here in Metafilter of all places. Anyone who'd expose their penises like this clearly has some kind of mental illness. I'm shocked that people here don't get that, and think this is some kind of joke.

Well, 'taint hard to see where this is headed...

TL;DR: I'm surprised you can't see they're nuts.
posted by duffell at 5:47 PM on June 6, 2018 [7 favorites]


1. Buy or borrow a whole stable of dildos
2. Dress them all up in period costumes
3. Buy a little red stripey outfit and bobble hat
4. Where's Waldo!
5. ???
6. Profit


Dilbert crossover?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:48 PM on June 6, 2018


Costume design by Edith Head
posted by phooky at 5:49 PM on June 6, 2018 [6 favorites]


Dilbert crossover?

Since we live in the worst timeline, I'm just waiting for the reveal that these are all secretly Metafilter's own Scott Adams.

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

sorry
posted by duffell at 5:50 PM on June 6, 2018 [12 favorites]


Dress them all up in period costumes

But this is penis cosplay


Behold the penis tampon. No, really.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:53 PM on June 6, 2018 [1 favorite]


Bob?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:12 PM on June 6, 2018


Alas, I liked the idea of this far more than I liked the actual... this.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:36 PM on June 6, 2018 [7 favorites]


Just showed this one to my wife.

“Is that a finger? Eww, a hot dog? [gasp] Is it a dick? Ugh. Why.”
posted by uncleozzy at 6:39 PM on June 6, 2018


It's the reflectionof the photographer in uncloeozzy's photo that really sells it.
posted by Nelson at 7:16 PM on June 6, 2018


if there's one dressed as Richard Nixon somebody let me know.

“I am not a cock.”
posted by uncleozzy at 7:32 PM on June 6, 2018 [9 favorites]


Head canon:

I dunno, looked like the shaft did most of the destruction there
posted by middleclasstool at 7:43 PM on June 6, 2018 [1 favorite]


I need 1/2" tall fremen to finish a costume.
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:07 PM on June 6, 2018 [16 favorites]


I can't decide whether or not to click. On the one hand, funny costumes! On the other hand....you know.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:07 PM on June 6, 2018 [2 favorites]


Is that a finger? Eww, a hot dog? [gasp] Is it a dick? Ugh. Why.”

if i had a nickel...
posted by zippy at 8:17 PM on June 6, 2018 [17 favorites]


- how in hell do they dress this?
- anything with additional body showing skeeves me out; I felt a little accosted by that ET one. Too up close. I need my peni decontextualized
posted by St. Peepsburg at 8:33 PM on June 6, 2018 [4 favorites]


We deserve everything that's happening.
posted by bongo_x at 9:28 PM on June 6, 2018 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: I need my peni decontextualized.
posted by Tiny Bungalow at 9:30 PM on June 6, 2018 [7 favorites]


Sometimes, randomally, every couple times a year or so I'll remember that the previously exists and it makes me smile like a ray of sunshine.
posted by Grandysaur at 10:45 PM on June 6, 2018 [1 favorite]


Head canon:

I dunno, looked like the shaft did most of the destruction there


Just talkin' about Shaft.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:20 AM on June 7, 2018 [2 favorites]


Not eponysterical.
posted by b33j at 1:17 AM on June 7, 2018 [1 favorite]


> soren_lorensen:
"Alas, I liked the idea of this far more than I liked the actual... this."

When it comes to penises, this is so often true.
posted by chavenet at 2:01 AM on June 7, 2018 [5 favorites]


Clearly, the next logical step is to make them talk via voiceovers and a little CGI, and have them reenact famous scenes from history.
posted by delfin at 7:37 AM on June 7, 2018 [1 favorite]


I just love that this post has a reddit warning.
posted by GoblinHoney at 8:39 AM on June 7, 2018 [1 favorite]


*puts down baby carrot*
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:02 PM on June 7, 2018


Has anyone done Mario and Super Mario yet?
posted by Skwirl at 2:07 PM on June 7, 2018


Well the random dick pic is just flat out boring now.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 5:59 PM on June 7, 2018 [2 favorites]


Just showed this one to my wife.

The TIME magazine cover on the wall sells that one for me.
posted by rokusan at 10:09 PM on June 7, 2018 [1 favorite]


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