Foxes Cream Crunch: Just a slightly more fancy Chopin.
January 27, 2019 3:13 PM   Subscribe

In an effort to endure the cold, and more importantly, the rest of the week, Oxford Lecturer and fellow cat-enthusiast, Dr. Leah Broad provide us with the ultimate list of Composers as Biscuits.

Her Twitter feed (@LeahBroad) is a fascinating meander of composers, music theory, travel around the UK.
posted by RhysPenbras (19 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
25. John Cage, biscuit tin that you open expecting there to be biscuits but you forgot it was actually the tin you use for all the random screws that you don’t know where they go or what they're for. Best use = prepared piano.

That sounds about right.
posted by traveler_ at 3:32 PM on January 27 [4 favorites]


I know absolutely nothing about either classical composers or British biscuits, but somehow I know, deep in my cockles, that every one of these is absolutely spot on.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:51 PM on January 27


They're missing the biggest connection: they're all dry as hell.
posted by runcibleshaw at 3:57 PM on January 27


22. Richard Wagner, Oreo. Divisive, and not everyone's taste.

In America, there are so many varieties of Oreos, they should all be associated with more contemporary songwriters; Bob Dylan is Original Oreo, Bruce Springsteen is Double-Stuff and Mint Oreos should either be Joni Mitchell or Carole King...

29. Bruckner, chunky kit-kat. ...why is this biscuit so big?

Kit-Kat is a chocolate candy, no matter how thick. If not, we need a composer for Twix. Maybe Leonard Bernstein?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:02 PM on January 27 [2 favorites]


They're missing the biggest connection: they're all dry as hell.

I refer you to the title, and also my biggest complaint about being cœliac - Foxes Cream Crunch: Just a slightly more fancy Chopin. Actually it's the Foxes Ginger Crunch Cream that I miss the most, but still.

I think this correction for JS Bach is much better: Prinzenrolle, then. A moderately crunchy sandwich with a moderately chocolate-y cream in the middle. Intensely repetitive - once you start, you can't stop! . There's just something so Bachish about getting the sparsest details so perfect and finding so much texture and flavour in repeating the bare elements.
posted by ambrosen at 4:09 PM on January 27 [1 favorite]


Composers as Biscuits

It's an honour just to be nominated.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:04 PM on January 27 [5 favorites]


I will admit I have never had a Foxes Cream Crunch, but it doesn't look particularly moist. As a baseline, I consider an Oreo to be a fairly dry cookie. As opposed to a fresh-baked chocolate chip or oatmeal cookie.
posted by runcibleshaw at 5:52 PM on January 27


Most amusing, the comments are also worthwhile.
posted by Coaticass at 6:40 PM on January 27 [1 favorite]


I think Mahler would be a contender for Oreos if you took out the white part and left the outsides. Kinda bitter, but still tasty, and also it makes you want to die after you binge it. As for the white bit, this comment grabbed from FB 'Wagner should've just been the Oreo creme™ because it's white and like, y'know, nazi' about sums it up, as well that it's really rich (musically & $$) and also pretty gross.
posted by womb of things to be and tomb of things that were at 6:43 PM on January 27 [1 favorite]


This is perfection, and I’m smugly excited to share it with all my nerdy classical friends.
posted by missmary6 at 6:54 PM on January 27 [3 favorites]


This is an idea of genius! Her choices mostly agree with the ones I would have made, with most of my favourite composers getting my favourite biscuits, although I think Mozart should maybe be a Jaffa Cake. The Choco Liebnitz (Bach) is a wonderful thing - a slab of buttery biscuit sitting on a slightly larger slab of good-quality chocolate. Perfect!
posted by Fuchsoid at 9:05 PM on January 27


I wonder who Charles Ives is as a biscuit?
posted by PinkMoose at 9:23 PM on January 27


I've only tasted a few of the biscuits, but their composer matches are so spot-on that I feel I've become more familiar with how the others must taste based on the composers she's chosen.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:44 PM on January 27


Continuing on American and modern composers, my take is that John Williams would be Animal Crackers- pleasing to little children.

Gershwin would be Snickerdoodles- whimsical yet also unpretentious

Phillip Glass would be the Half Moon cookie- stark, minimalist, artsy, but with a rewarding gentleness underneath.

Aaron Copeland is the peanut butter cookie, perhaps?
posted by LeRoienJaune at 11:47 PM on January 27 [2 favorites]


This is great, and Post-Reformation Archbishops of Canterbury as crisps is also great.
posted by ZipRibbons at 12:13 AM on January 28 [2 favorites]


I will admit I have never had a Foxes Cream Crunch, but it doesn't look particularly moist. As a baseline, I consider an Oreo to be a fairly dry cookie. As opposed to a fresh-baked chocolate chip or oatmeal cookie.

Slightly moister than an Oreo. But really, if you're thinking of these things as cookies (and this comparing them to chocolate chip cookies etc) you may be getting wrong impressions all round. They're biscuits, which means none of them are soft or moist like cookies. They're a different category of thing.
posted by Dysk at 5:03 AM on January 28 [2 favorites]


25. John Cage, biscuit tin that you open expecting there to be biscuits but you forgot it was actually the tin you use for all the random screws that you don’t know where they go or what they're for. Best use = prepared piano.

I was totally expecting him to be sewing supplies.
posted by dinty_moore at 6:45 AM on January 28 [3 favorites]


Slightly moister than an Oreo.

The wasteland of Jakku is slightly moister than an Oreo.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:40 PM on January 28 [2 favorites]


(I was going to say, "the deserts of Tatooine," but they had a few drops of vapor you could collect with complicated machinery.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:42 PM on January 28 [1 favorite]


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