Baklava Porn
August 8, 2019 6:07 AM   Subscribe

Do you like Baklava? You are not alone.
(Some of those posts get 100,000 likes)
posted by growabrain (35 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
 
I like baklava fine, I guess, but clearly not as much as these people. I have had baklava many times and always enjoyed it well enough, but I can’t recall I have ever sought it out.

Now, those little Portuguese custard tarts? I would kill anyone who stands between me and them.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:12 AM on August 8, 2019 [4 favorites]


Ooooh i love hypnotic stuff like this.

Also i now want a baklava rolling mat with the various sized circle guided... even though I've only made baklava the one time!
posted by chapps at 6:43 AM on August 8, 2019


"Do you like Baklava?"

Does anyone not like baklava?
posted by kevinbelt at 6:58 AM on August 8, 2019 [6 favorites]


I don't like baklava. Too sweet and bland for my tastes.
posted by fimbulvetr at 7:06 AM on August 8, 2019


Baklava alone is ok. Baklava with some Turkish Coffee..forget about it. They really do compliment each other well.
posted by pleem at 7:17 AM on August 8, 2019 [5 favorites]


I like baklava.

My teeth and waist line, not so much.
posted by Pouteria at 7:19 AM on August 8, 2019 [2 favorites]


It's 10:46 am. I want baklava. Now.
posted by kathrynm at 7:47 AM on August 8, 2019 [5 favorites]


It's been a couple of years since the promise, but my sister, who is a very skilled baker for her age, has offered to make me special baklava, given the fat requirements. I'm holding off for the time being, but one day I have the promise of some very fine baklava to look forward to.

Brownies are cool and all, but I'm expecting baklava to blow them out of the water, so to speak.
posted by Acid Communist at 7:55 AM on August 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


What’s that stuff in the video that looks like cheese? I’m only familiar with the kind filled with syrup and chopped nuts.
posted by Selena777 at 8:24 AM on August 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


There is definitely something going on with Turkey and instagramming food - does anyone else see just like a huge number of those very weird videos where a dude (tis always a dude) makes some sort of gigantic dish? like a 3 foot wide hamburger? or a roasted bird that might have been an ostrich (my recollection was that the guy stuffed it with like a dozen bell peppers which had themselves been stuffed with a forcemeat).
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:25 AM on August 8, 2019


I made a Greek Milk Pie last month that was like a delicious baklava mixed with a delicious custard pie. Highly recommend!
posted by Jacob G at 8:27 AM on August 8, 2019 [3 favorites]


Baklava? I hate the stuff and it's totally disgusting I mean who would even suddenly grabs the entire baking sheet full of the stuff and bolts out of the room.
posted by loquacious at 8:29 AM on August 8, 2019 [14 favorites]


@selena777, it’s Kanafeh
posted by growabrain at 8:35 AM on August 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


Well, there's my morning gone!

My aunt's BFF was first-generation Greek-American and made us baklava all the time. I've subsequently had both Turkish and Moroccan baklava, but I must be some kind of tasteless boor because I can't taste the difference.

And yes, good coffee and baklava set each other off perfectly.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:48 AM on August 8, 2019


I will happily buy good baklava because as I kid I was forced to make it. It is such a pain - it really only goes at a decent pace if you have at least two people working on it: one to handle the phyllo and one to do the buttering. I takes *forever*, and phyllo dough is so tricky to handle. But it has made me a baklava snob - I know the difference between the good stuff and the crap, and I will pay someone else for their good stuff.
posted by obliquity of the ecliptic at 8:55 AM on August 8, 2019 [5 favorites]


Oh man I love baklava. So much. I have moved away from Metro Detroit where there were tons of places to get good baklava and oh do I miss it. There never seemed to be a shortage of Middle Eastern bakeries in or near one's slice of suburbia when the craving struck.

When I was a kid, my dad got me a "baklava cake" for my birthday one year from one of the Greek bakeries downtown. A large plate of baklava in a hexagonal shape with a little chocolate circle in the middle announcing "happy birthday to [me]." Best birthday cake ever.

I made it once too, but I cheated and used honey instead of simple syrup at the end. It was indeed a looong process. Maybe it is time to go buy some phyllo dough...
posted by sevenofspades at 9:19 AM on August 8, 2019 [3 favorites]


It's 10:46 am. I want baklava. Now.

I have had baklava for breakfast, and let me tell you, it was glorious. An intense feeling of peace and contentment washed over me for the next couple of hours, the likes of which I have felt only a few other times in my life.

When I first read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a child, I had never encountered nor even heard of Turkish delight. I had had baklava, and I knew it was vaguely Mediterranean and possibly Turkish, so I naturally assumed that "Turkish delight" was another name for baklava.

And frankly, I could understand betraying one's siblings for baklava.

Needless to say, I was quite disappointed when I learned what Turkish delight actually was and had the opportunity to try it.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:29 AM on August 8, 2019 [9 favorites]



When I first read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a child, I had never encountered nor even heard of Turkish delight. I had had baklava, and I knew it was vaguely Mediterranean and possibly Turkish, so I naturally assumed that "Turkish delight" was another name for baklava.

And frankly, I could understand betraying one's siblings for baklava.


I believe I'd been already exposed to a form, however subpar, of Turkish delight, but nonetheless, I distinctly remember thinking, "well, it's not an everyday snack, and it's so very good, so if you're going to betray your siblings, there are far worse bribes to fall for."
posted by Acid Communist at 9:38 AM on August 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


Mmm, crunchy, nutty (especially when they are pistachios), sweet and there are so many kinds to try!
posted by Bee'sWing at 9:42 AM on August 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


Not to be confused with balaclava.
posted by postel's law at 9:57 AM on August 8, 2019 [3 favorites]


When I last lived in LA I once stumbled into a little Amernian bakery and cafe. I was just waiting for a bus and craving coffee and it seemed like a likely choice on that corner to get some kind of coffee, and I would have been perfectly happy with a couple of espresso shots or even some proper Turkish style coffee or even just a cup of shitty Folgers drip.

Well, apparently they specialized in baklava. It was like... wandering in to a fancy, posh donut shop except instead of an array of donuts it was practically all baklava. There must have been two dozen different kinds of baklava.

My eyes must have boggled right out of my head, and because I was obviously "lost" and not their usual kind of customer and seeing me standing there dumbstruck probably made them nervous because, you know, it's LA and they have no idea if I'm a random street weirdo about to take a dump on their floor or what.

I remember I only managed to say something like "wooooah lookit all that baklava" at which point the baker laughed loudly and relaxed.

So I had some nice rocket-fuel grade Turkish style coffee and, oh, maybe half a dozen pieces of baklava. They kept offering little samples of stuff, too. Yes, I missed my bus. And, I believe, the one after that. For a few months it was a regular stop for me, and I still didn't manage to try all the different kinds of baklava because they were constantly changing.

The store smelled absolutely amazing, too. All honey, butter and spices and filo dough.
posted by loquacious at 10:01 AM on August 8, 2019 [15 favorites]


The Lebanese Catholic kids' (who Winona has invited along with others without telling her mother) gift of a baklava saves the day in Maud Hart Lovelace's Winona's Pony Cart.
posted by brujita at 10:12 AM on August 8, 2019 [3 favorites]


I love baklava; first had it in high school long before Greek food was a thing here, courtesy of the mother of my friend Chris (actually Christos) who was of Greek descent. I've made it several times and it is a bit labor intensive but not too difficult (although I use frozen phyllo dough, so some might consider that cheating). The pistachio version is really good; I found a Persian recipe that called for rose water in place of the usual citrus in the syrup. A few months ago I was headed home from the local Greek festival and ran into a friend who was jealous that I had eaten some baklava; she apparently loves it but can't eat it because she is allergic to all tree nuts except pecans. So last month for her birthday I made a batch and substituted pecans for walnuts; it was a big hit and definitely worth a try. When I got down to the last couple of pieces (I made a second pan for personal use) I stuck them in the oven for a few minutes until they were warm and crispy and served them with a scoop of good vanilla ice cream on top. Highly recommended!
posted by TedW at 10:13 AM on August 8, 2019 [4 favorites]


I have had baklava for breakfast, and let me tell you, it was glorious. An intense feeling of peace and contentment washed over me for the next couple of hours, the likes of which I have felt only a few other times in my life.

Ok, I'm having a vision.

So, mead is a thing, but there's an even better thing than mead - honey whiskey, which is distilled mead into a high proof honey flavored alcohol. It is like concentrated distilled sunshine. I've only owned a bottle of the stuff once and it was magical. Sipping on a small shot neat with some coffee would just put this golden glow on you for the rest of the day.

So right now I'm thinking something like this: One of those bright, sunny but crisp early summer mornings, a couple of pieces of fresh baklava, some really nice coffee sweetened with honey and cream and maybe a shot of honey whiskey in it, or a shot on the side. Maybe finish it off with some nice cannabis and a nap on a slowly warming beach.

You'd be so warm and fuzzy you might softly glow in the dark.

I'm also wondering if you could soak baklava in honey whiskey and make slightly boozy baklava, like a tiramisu.

Anyway, sipping on honey whiskey and nibbling on baklava sounds pretty amazing.
posted by loquacious at 10:13 AM on August 8, 2019 [6 favorites]


I like to eat baklava while wearing a balaklava, then I play the balalaika like that.
posted by Floydd at 11:01 AM on August 8, 2019 [2 favorites]


It was my favorite dessert in the whole world...until I developed a severe walnut allergy :( Luckily, it is easier and easier to find pistachio version.
posted by gryphonlover at 11:22 AM on August 8, 2019


Baklava is delicious; we used to get it as desert at our local pizza place after karate classes. But it's the only food whose texture bothers me. The squeak it makes between my teeth as I chew is like nails on a chalkboard for me.
posted by UltraMorgnus at 11:45 AM on August 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


We have Patisserie Royale near us, which is basically the baklava you bring if you want to be invited back. We're also near Adonis - better for soap and awesome fresh pitta - that has an entire baklava aisle.
posted by scruss at 12:17 PM on August 8, 2019


I feel about baklava the same way I feel about certain Chinese acrobat routines: I greatly appreciate the result and admire that people take the time to learn and perfect the skill, but wonder why anyone would put themself through so much arduous labour. Anyways, I've recently come to appreciate the flavour of rosewater, so baklava has risen in my personal dessert rankings.
posted by Rora at 12:37 PM on August 8, 2019


It's so rich, but I do like it, and I can see coffee making it less cloying. I'll have to check my coffee places (when I get coffee) for it, because I only ever notice it for sale in falafel places.
posted by rhizome at 12:48 PM on August 8, 2019


I’m reading this, despite the fact that I can no longer have sweets. TORTURE. But I, too used to be taken to Greektown in Detroit for baklava as a kid and always enjoyed it, mmmmm. I also would help my mom brush butter on phyllo when she made (savory things?) with it and agree that anything to do with paper-thin sheets of dough is very labor-intensive.
posted by 41swans at 1:58 PM on August 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


I just remembered the first time I had baklava as a kid. It was at one of the many ubiquitous blue collar Greek diners that did burgers and gyros and stuff, and there was a tray of it in the bakery case.

Even for a kid I had a major sweet tooth, and my dad probably knew it, which would probably explain this wildly paraphrased exchange when I was out to lunch with my dad one day.

Me: "What's that? That looks really good!"

Dad: "No, you don't want that. It's probably too weird for you." Man, I've seen this kid eat an entire jar of honey and if they get one taste of that stuff he's going to get hooked so fast I'll never hear the end of it.

Me: "No, I think I really do. What is that?"

Friendly Greek grill owner and cook: "It's baklava! Flaky phyllo and honey! Very sweet!"

Me: "Yeah I totally want to try one of those."

Dad: "Fine, whatever, shut up already." I'm so doomed.

Me: "HOLY CRAP THIS IS SOOOO GOOD I'M NEVER LISTENING TO YOU AGAIN."

Dad: "Fuck."
posted by loquacious at 2:08 PM on August 8, 2019 [9 favorites]


Not to be confused with balaclava.

I came here to make some sort of joke about balaclava porn but then I tried looking it up on Google. Turns out there's quite a lot of it. Now I'm not sure what to think.
posted by scalefree at 4:39 PM on August 8, 2019


Aaargh! It's 2.30 am here, and now I want baklava. What's more, the all-night grocery across the road sell all the makings for it. By 3.30 (maybe 4) I could be eating some. I must be strong.

Actually, they also sell it ready-made, but it's an inferior version (I think it has peanuts,/i> in it), but I have a functioning oven...
posted by Fuchsoid at 6:49 PM on August 8, 2019


The Turks in Germany assured me, Baklava was for enhancing my masculine staying-power. Like, um, viagra. Yep. Seriously, they told me that. I found that idea fun and sweet, even if it didn't work!
posted by Goofyy at 7:14 PM on August 8, 2019


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