#JusticeForHan
February 1, 2020 12:51 PM   Subscribe

F9: The Fast Saga [Official Trailer] “Vin Diesel’s Dom Toretto is leading a quiet life off the grid with Letty and his son, little Brian, but they know that danger always lurks just over their peaceful horizon. This time, that threat will force Dom to confront the sins of his past if he’s going to save those he loves most. His crew joins together to stop a world-shattering plot led by the most skilled assassin and high-performance driver they’ve ever encountered: a man who also happens to be Dom’s forsaken brother, Jakob (John Cena, next year’s The Suicide Squad). F9 sees the return of Justin Lin as director, who helmed the third, fourth, fifth and sixth chapters of the series when it transformed into a global blockbuster.”
posted by Fizz (57 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Yeah ok, but are they back to drinking Corona?
posted by ODiV at 12:52 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]


My wife and I spent one anniversary watching the entire F&F franchise followed by the latest installment in the theatre. Needless to say, we are totally up for this completely ludicrous movie.

(Also: this is probably as close to a genuine Saints Row movie as we are ever likely to see.)
posted by suetanvil at 12:56 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]


Without the Lyme.
posted by clavdivs at 12:56 PM on February 1


Super happy that Justin is back! 4-6 was truly the golden era.
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:02 PM on February 1 [4 favorites]


I feel like I just read the plot of Speed Racer, though?
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:04 PM on February 1


put them in space you cowards
posted by Bwentman at 1:04 PM on February 1 [36 favorites]


put them in space you cowards

That’s so sharknado.
posted by uraniumwilly at 1:10 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]


Han DID shoot first.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:17 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]


put them in space you cowards

I keep saying this: IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU DRIFT!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:22 PM on February 1 [11 favorites]


The physics of drifting simply won't work in space. Gravity is required for tires and surface to interact meaningfully.

I say, put them on Jupiter.
posted by hippybear at 1:30 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]


A twinge of nostalgia for the days when they stole VCRs.
posted by betweenthebars at 1:37 PM on February 1 [13 favorites]


The physics of drifting simply won't work in space

Fair point, because the limitations of physics with respect to vehicles are COMPLETELY respected in all the rest of the franchise...
posted by Brockles at 1:38 PM on February 1 [13 favorites]


The physics of drifting simply won't work in space

Yeah, yeah, see the massive gravity thread. You wish you were as astrophysically informed as Vin Diesel.
posted by biffa at 1:46 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]


A twinge of nostalgia for the days when they stole VCRs.

Just a reminder that the first big set piece race in the series was a dam rag race between a Mitsubishi Eclipse and a Mazda RX-7. I think at some level it has been a speed run of the cars of the Bond films, which a least took a few more instalments to get from “this one has a smokescreen” to the ones that converted into hovercraft.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:07 PM on February 1


(That said, the last one in this franchise I saw was the one with the ultramarathon-length runway. Maybe they have gotten more down-to-earth and gritty since then.)
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:08 PM on February 1


The physics of drifting simply won't work in space. Gravity is required for tires and surface to interact meaningfully.

"Hold on, Barfo, we're going to make space tracks!" It can happen.
posted by Fukiyama at 2:28 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]


May I complain about the emphasis in recent films, like this, about family. I am super-tired about family being held as the ultimate virtue in the F&F films, in GOTG2, Deadpool 2, even goddam the Hellboy reboot. Dom (and Shaw) are monsters and Hobbes only redeemed by his daughter's soccer team.

Real men raise kids who are self-respectful, curious and caring. Real men are Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird or the thoughtful Dad in My Neighbor Totoro.

We have to get away from this idea that men are only defined by their capacity for violence.
posted by SPrintF at 2:30 PM on February 1 [9 favorites]


said it before but: In the future all films are the Fast and the Furious.
posted by glonous keming at 2:35 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]


We have to get away from this idea that men are only defined by their capacity for violence.

sounds like somebody needs a clobberin
posted by Bwentman at 2:54 PM on February 1 [9 favorites]


Boy howdy, am I here for this. This trailer made me say WTF aloud in the best possible FF way at least twice. And that was BEFORE Han appeared. All this, in a Justin Lin FF joint? How could I possibly be more in?

I feel I must also respond to the criticism about Family. Like any criticism that strikes a nerve, this one hits me because I feel so passionately about something inconsequential: the twine and chewing gum with which this unlikely franchise is held together.

And that twine and chewing gum is the following:

* Cars
* NoS (whether it makes sense or not...it must be there)
* Coronas
* Establishing shots
* "Family"
posted by billjings at 3:20 PM on February 1 [7 favorites]


Yeah, I had a couple of spontaneous "WAT"s when watching the trailer.

I had jokingly predicted that the next F&F movie would take then to space, but I think this is even more ludicrous. I am so here for this.
posted by rmd1023 at 3:42 PM on February 1


Step 1: Car with rocket strapped to back
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Fast and Furious in Space!
posted by adrianhon at 3:49 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]


this is even more ludicrous

So ludicrous the trailer basically had ludacris point out how ludicrous it is, and that's before they even get to the most ludicrous bit! Howzabout that for meta-commentary?

Also:

"Ooh, I'm James Bond, I can ride a motorbike up a wall."

You've got nothing Bond, nothing.
posted by biffa at 4:35 PM on February 1


That was insane. I'm exhausted just from the trailer.
posted by greenhornet at 5:42 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]


i was watching the trailer, and i was reflecting that, this set of movies had more character progression and payoffs that worked, within its own movie logic, than the last set of Star Wars movies. But it's an unfair comparison on further reflection, because at least this series, though genuinely bonkers, had people behind the scenes who're interested in maintaining the narrative cohesion (either through actorly ego, or fanservice, or some vague notion of plot), even with the soft reboot of the fourth one.
posted by cendawanita at 7:13 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]


I think the trailer jumped the shark, and then jumped itself jumping the shark, more than once and I don't really have a problem with this.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 7:36 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]


A few of the Roadrunner cartoons are more realistic that this trailer.
posted by sammyo at 7:43 PM on February 1 [8 favorites]


A diverse cast, kick-ass women, people who care about each other more than material success. What’s not to love?

It’s got a few hella obvious flaws*, but as far as American action movies go the themes of the FF series are pretty great.

*Not caring a lick about physics is not a flaw. It’s glorious.
posted by oddman at 7:47 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]


I watched the trailer, and am so deeply confused about Han, much more so than Vin Diesel and John Cena being brothers.

I mentioned this to a friend, who confessed to having never seen any of the series. I tried to explain the appeal of a franchise that has gone from an undercover cop trying to 21 Jumpstreet his way into underground street racing and heists into a weird third movie without any of the main cast that, as well as being a fantastically bad Japan movie made by people who seem to have never actually been in the country, is actually full of weirdly deep and impressive cameos with a remarkably deep cast of Japanese actors, into a weird “team of street racers take on drug lords with fast cars” to outright superhero movies (the bridge jump in six, the driving through the air from building to building in 7) to a really bizarrely deep and emotion loss of an actor portraying a main character to the development of a split off franchise because the two remaining big names in the franchise hated each other, which led to an in universe, so in-canon actually bulletproof Idris Elba proclaiming himself the black Superman.

And of course, I ended it with a link to “every time someone shifts a car in F&F” because what else could do it justice.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:12 PM on February 1 [9 favorites]


I love these movies too, but I hope they can steer back toward the first five films’ emphasis on heists, stunt driving, and characters with understandable motivations. Since the sixth movie, the plots have relied far too much on James Bond style supervillians and macguffins, and the drama is dominated by gimmicks like killing off characters, bringing them back, giving them amnesia, etc.

I appreciate that they want to keep escalating the action, and I do like how the ensemble cast keeps growing. But I think the series could really benefit from going back to the basics in some ways.
posted by mbrubeck at 8:35 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]




Previously: Fast & Furious in Space for anyone who missed it. Gets me every time!
posted by ButteryMales at 9:30 PM on February 1


These are my cats, Fast and Furious
posted by gottabefunky at 10:06 PM on February 1


These are my cats, Fast and Furious

That is a cat household I would not want to live in. If they're named based on character, anyway.
posted by hippybear at 10:24 PM on February 1


I'm just happy the Rock isn't in this one, he played it way too campy for me. Space-drifting can wait till the 10th installment. This is gonna be 4 hours long as it is.

Also why is Han the only one who ages?
posted by fshgrl at 10:42 PM on February 1


And of course, I ended it with a link to “every time someone shifts a car in F&F yt ” because what else could do it justice.

Space-drifting can wait till the 10th installment.

Do space shuttles come with manual transmissions? I suppose Dom could rig one up...
posted by gusottertrout at 11:30 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]


Also why is Han the only one who ages?

Coming back from the dead (and time travel) are hell on your skin.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:31 PM on February 1 [4 favorites]


The next one simply has to be called Fast 10 Your Seatbelts.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 12:42 AM on February 2 [20 favorites]


Do space shuttles come with manual transmissions? I suppose Dom could rig one up...

Not only can you downshift a rocket, you can also boost it into a higher orbit with NoS. That's just science.
posted by billjings at 12:59 AM on February 2 [4 favorites]


a weird third movie without any of the main cast that, as well as being a fantastically bad Japan movie made by people who seem to have never actually been in the country, is actually full of weirdly deep and impressive cameos with a remarkably deep cast of Japanese actors

My hypothesis is that the entire crew of the movies decided during Tokyo Drift, "Fuck it, we're going for it!", and gave up all pretense of being connected to reality. In later films, this becomes the overarching theme.

Here, right here. Drifting through a crowd of people...
posted by mikelieman at 6:28 AM on February 2


SPrintF As near as I can tell, the overarching unspoken theme of Hollywood movies since some time in the 1980's (as far as I can tell) has been "finding your family of choice". A strong runner-up is "men dealing with their daddy issues". I figure much of this is because the then-new crop of directors and much of the audience lived through skyrocketing divorce rates as it turns out that many of the cultural beliefs about blood-family were bs and so it's all about finding your own people, or else really connecting with your dad, finally.

I think it's become more pronounced as the feel-good tropes of Hollywood have been getting more codified, and the shift to "blockbuster or dead" in movie making so they're leaning more and more heavily on established beats. It used to be annoyingly formulaic that it turns out the film in "The Player" has Bruce Willis saving Julia Roberts from the gas chamber, but now we live in the era of "Save the Cat," and soon all major studio screenplays will be generated by bad machine learning algorithms.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:51 AM on February 2 [2 favorites]


I really liked the first few in the series, basically up to and sort of including the one set in Brazil. At some point the series (and the over the top Bond-style plot elements) just got too silly for me.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:14 AM on February 2


Honestly I just want to watch this installment to see what they did with Michael Rooker.
posted by LindsayIrene at 8:54 AM on February 2


Here, right here. Drifting through a crowd of people...

God, it was hard to even sit through that clip. Just nonsense. Terrible cutting, cheesy in-car driving faces and nonsensical actions, those ridiculously unnecessary gear shifting cuts. Just awful. There was some decent drifting through traffic that was almost killed by being such rapidly cut shots. Driven- levels of bad.

And, one of my pet peeves in car chases aimed at younger people SHOW AS THEM WEARING FUCKING SEAT BELTS, especially when the external stunt driver shots clearly show belts being worn and you'd have to have belts on to drive like that. Stop reinforcing this idiotic 'cool people don't wear belts' horseshit. The kind of idiots that will try this driving on the street are exactly the kind of idiots that will say "Paul Walker doesn't wear a set belt so neither am I".
posted by Brockles at 9:09 AM on February 2


I am, as always, looking forward to Charlize Theron chewing scenery. The female characters in general in this series are a delight to watch, but watching an actress so acclaimed her list of awards is on its own Wikipedia page just go all-out unhinged is one of my greatest pleasures.
posted by restless_nomad at 1:59 PM on February 2 [5 favorites]


As near as I can tell, the overarching unspoken theme of Hollywood movies since some time in the 1980's (as far as I can tell) has been "finding your family of choice"

That's the theme of GenX in general. To me, one of the most sharp contrasts between people my age and Millennial folks (10-15 years younger) is there much stronger focus on traditional romantic/ family bonds vs people my age having a strong focus on creating enduring friend groups. Many of my younger co-workers have few or no close friends outside their romantic relationships or family which blows my mind.

We had the casts of Friends and the F&F, they have the Kardashians and all those reality shows featuring couples.
posted by fshgrl at 5:58 PM on February 2 [3 favorites]


I really liked the first few in the series, basically up to and sort of including the one set in Brazil. At some point the series (and the over the top Bond-style plot elements) just got too silly for me.

You're like the opposite of the majority of F&F fandom! For a lot of folks (including me) the franchise finally got good with the fifth film. I'm not knocking you, but it's a rare opinion!
posted by brundlefly at 5:06 AM on February 3


I am 100% here for this movie. Haters can hate, but Tokyo Drift is my favorite of the whole series, I adore Han and everything that Sung Kang brought to the whole franchise, and I will be in the theater opening night for this.
posted by hanov3r at 8:33 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]


While I'm glad to see Han's back, what I really want to see is Helen Mirren drifting a vintage Rolls-Royce limousine. Put Helen Mirren in the stunts she deserves, you cowards.
posted by mhum at 12:22 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]


THIS LOOKS SO GOOD
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:30 PM on February 3


Hit F9 and then come back to life? Han is clearly save scumming.
posted by subocoyne at 2:15 PM on February 3


So when is Jesse coming back?
posted by ODiV at 2:24 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


I’d love to see the Tokyo Drift cast show up. Having Tej mentoring Twinkie, or bringing back Sean (I mean, if Han’s not dead, shouldn’t they let him know) and Neela, or at the very least, a Sonny Chiba cameo.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:27 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


IMDB lists both Lucas "Sean" Black and Jason "Earl" Tobin from Tokyo Drift in the F9 cast. Take of that what you will.
posted by hanov3r at 4:04 PM on February 3


IMDB lists both Lucas "Sean" Black and Jason "Earl" Tobin from Tokyo Drift in the F9 cast

/cautious squee, excited but nervous.
posted by Ghidorah at 10:34 PM on February 3


So when is Jesse coming back?

Pour one out for that dear sweet ADD boy.

a speed run of the cars of the Bond films So I watched Hobbes and Shaw on a plane ride recently, and it occurred to me as I watched Idris Elba monologuing that the FF franchise is actually the Bond franchise of our time, complete with the absurd villain plots and super-powered gear. (Go back and watch Christopher Walken talk about flooding Silicon Valley, which honestly, from the perspective of 2020: GO FOR IT MY DUDE)

I have a deep and abiding love for the first six*, a cautious approval of 7, and boy did I not enjoy 8 at all. And yet H&S was fun in its stupid 70s Bond level of ludicrous. And MY MAN HAN PLEASE. So..... I dunno. Excited but nervous is a good way to describe it.

* I have a box set, and I watch it every time I get a cold.
posted by epersonae at 10:50 AM on February 4 [1 favorite]


The F&F movies are absolutely Bond-genre films, now. Most of them start with a cold-open action sequence, and we're well into "taking down global supervillains" style plots. Barbara Broccoli et al probably wish they'd come up with the Abu Dhabi skyscraper jump sequence, and carjacking a nuclear sub is - these days - way cooler than sucking one into a massive supertanker.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:58 AM on February 7


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