8 Types of Grilled Cheese
May 18, 2020 8:18 PM   Subscribe

That was fun, I want all of the sandwiches! I have never made a grilled cheese with mayonnaise on the outside before (we were a butter family) but will try it soonest. I loved the variations and I liked the interactions with the director telling everybody what Clarie had done. The Platonic Ideal is closest to the grilled cheese I make and I'm looking forward to trying shallots. I loved that the Platonic Ideal chef shows his son spitting out the sandwich and using that as evidence that it's great. I will happily eat a vertically cut sandwich, but a diagonal cut feels like love. Great post!
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:08 PM on May 18 [2 favorites]

Arrrgh, I like mayo but I cannot abide it on a grilled cheese sandwich! It's greasier and less tasty than butter. Also I'm a very skeptical agnostic when it comes to there being any material difference between horizontal vs diagonal cutting. That said, I'm definitely trying a sprinkle of shallots and maybe some sopressata on my next grilled cheese. And I do love thin slices of good ripe tomato when it's available.

As it happens I was in the grocery store this very evening and came across this in the sauerkraut section so I had to try it out...it's really tasty!! Just a hint of smoke, savory, quite spicy. I could totally see adding a thin layer of it to a grilled cheese sandwich with extra-sharp cheddar. Or to scrambled eggs, but I'll save that for another post.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:12 PM on May 18 [3 favorites]

My grilled cheese is big thick honkin' slices of fairly chunky bread, well buttered, with like an alpine style cheese that gets stretchy , a ... what's the opposite of alpine ... a cross country cheese (camembert or one of various blues) that liquefies and soaks into the bread, and then some bits of parmesan. It's a pretty thick sandwich, so it's gotta cook on relatively low heat, and cover it, so that it heats all the way through.
posted by aubilenon at 9:19 PM on May 18 [3 favorites]

God, I had a healthy dinner, but now I'm hungry again and I don't have sardines in but I'm three seconds from seeing what grilled cheese tastes like with anchovy paste. Real good, I bet.

We're all cool here, right? okay. come over here, I'm gonna tell you a thing. closer. closer.

Sweet grilled cheese: Challah, mascarpone, Nutella. Strawberries if you have them. "b..but that's dessert?!" And a coward dies a thousand deaths, what's your point

Savory grilled cheese: Some kind of soft multigrain bread. Say Dave's Killer Bread. Provolone or muenster, but look, I'm not a prideful person, I've done this with Laughing Cow. (the blue one.) Red onion. Mustard. Stay with me: adobo seasoning. capers. Then, and this is important: thinly sliced avocado. Does this slip the surly bounds of what is most technically a grilled cheese? Maybe. Probably. It doesn't matter. What matters is we are here together, you and I, and you have a delicious category error of a sandwich, up until the moment you look away, and I steal it.
posted by jameaterblues at 9:55 PM on May 18 [29 favorites]

Not all of those look to my taste, but this sure makes me want a grilled cheese. Unfortunately the bread I keep around for sandwiches (multigrain hippy bread, basically) isn’t all that great for grilled cheese. Either I need to go bread shopping or I need to adjust my standards.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:58 PM on May 18 [1 favorite]

I've tried the mayo trick and it works, but butter is better IMO (mayo seems to burn faster). Even better is bacon fat though, olive oil if you're vegan.
posted by axiom at 9:59 PM on May 18 [1 favorite]

I can totally relate to Maya when asked how long it should take to make grilled cheese.

"I don't know, Dan, because I haven't had my coffee yet. But the cheese is melting and everything's FINE."
posted by vverse23 at 10:00 PM on May 18 [5 favorites]

A third vote for butter over mayo. I've tried it a couple times and don't understand the charm. Maybe it's my timing/technique.
posted by St. Oops at 10:14 PM on May 18 [1 favorite]

Mayo is just plain wrong. Butter is the only answer. And green chiles are the best easy add-in.
posted by nestor_makhno at 10:31 PM on May 18 [5 favorites]

I can vouch for the diner (#1). Started with a cold skillet, mayo, soft bread, cheddar, tomatoes seasoned with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, muenster, soft bread, and more mayo. Low and slow, but with a lid, to trap heat and get it done in under 30 minutes. Maybe it was 15? Not fast, but it was fan-friggin-tastic. I'll report on others as time and ingredients allow 😁
posted by filthy light thief at 10:34 PM on May 18 [4 favorites]

Limburger, Eastern European black bread, raw onions and fuck-you mustard.

Yes, it works as a griddled sandwich but you may need to go heavier on the mustard if yours isn’t sufficiently fuck-you-I’m-strong.
posted by aramaic at 10:36 PM on May 18 [4 favorites]

Man, butter and mayo don’t matter when you purposely melt shredded cheese outside the sandwich creating a toasted cheese exterior. Basically, a frico exterior.
posted by jadepearl at 10:54 PM on May 18 [3 favorites]

multigrain hippy bread ... isn’t all that great for grilled cheese

I heartily disagree!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:01 PM on May 18 [4 favorites]

I've done this with Laughing Cow. (the blue one.) Red onion. Mustard.

*leans back in chair with thoughtful hand on chin*

Ca c'est une autre idée pour La vache qui rit.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:01 PM on May 18 [6 favorites]

The title is an absolute lie. Only one of these was close to being a grilled cheese: the one with shallots. All of the others are melts.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 11:40 PM on May 18 [8 favorites]

I don't want to be that guy, but I'm gonna be that guy. Not a one of those made a grilled cheese sandwich. They were all grilled cheese and something or a melt or whatever.

A grilled cheese sandwich is whatever bread with butter or mayonnaise (to help with browning and crisping) and as much cheese as you can stand in as many varieties as you can stand. Adding condiments to affect the flavor is also fine, but you have to be careful about veering off into a grilled cheese and something sandwich.

It's in the name, people. Grilled cheese sandwich. It's a cheese sandwich that's grilled. End of story.

Anything else is some other kind of sandwich.
posted by drivingmenuts at 11:48 PM on May 18 [19 favorites]

I'll continue to add this to any thread where its glory might bring hope to the masses, but the best damn grilled cheese* ever**:

Carolina style mustard/vinegar bbq sauce. Honey mustard is not this. Honey mustard is a lie.
Pulled Pork
Bread. Bread that you like, and can get crispy.
Cheese. Personally, I go with Gouda, but havarti or any melty cheese works. Sigh, yes, feel free to use American "cheese"

Heat the pulled pork in your skillet/fry pan, whatever. Add some of the bbq sauce, to get the flavor all over things. Spread bbq sauce on the sides of the pieces of bread that will be the inside of the sandwich. On top of the mustard sauce (on both pieces) apply cheese. Remove pulled pork from pan, nestle between halves of sandwich. Fry sandwich in the pan that until recently had pulled pork in it, and retains the wonderful juices and bubbling fat that the pulled pork left behind. Yeah, sure, mayo, whatever. Grill your sandwich in pulled pork drippings, trust me.

Now, depending on your cheese supply and the level of carefree-ness with which you approach the world, you might want to join me over here in Flavor Country (no, not Flavor Town, I don't care how much of mensch Fieri is) and, when you flip your sandwich over, revealing the warm, nicely browned piece of bread, lay a slice of cheese on it. While the other side of the sandwich cooks, let it get warm and stick to the grilled piece. Then, flip it over, and grill the cheese directly into the bread. Repeat with the now uplifted uncheesed side. Grill the living heck out of the cheese, and it will leave you with a crispy, cheesy outer shell to your pulled pork grilled cheese religious experience.

*If you must, sure, call it a melt. But "Pulled pork melt" doesn't sound as perfect as "pulled pork stuffed grilled cheese sandwich," does it?

** Claim does not apply to vegetarian, vegan, or non-pork eating judges. I'm happy to accommodate personal preferences if I'm able, but this, this would be the sandwich I'd want at the end of days. Well, this, or a really good french dip.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:53 PM on May 18 [7 favorites]

I don't want to be that guy, but

it's simple:

- the best bread you've got available
- the best cheese
- the best butter

... and maybe a few finely chopped bits of green onion (aka chives).
posted by philip-random at 12:12 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

I don’t know where you’re from, and for sure they’re both distinguished members of the allium family, but green onions and chives aren’t the same thing in any culinary tradition I know.
posted by invitapriore at 12:54 AM on May 19 [6 favorites]

Also, I’m on team mayonnaise for browning that bread.
posted by invitapriore at 12:55 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

For some reason the most surprising thing for me was watching Claire trying to get the mayo to squeeze smoothly by mashing the container against her hand - I was blown away that a pro chef doesn't know the marginally-more-elegant centrifugal flick trick where you hold the container at the end that the mayo/ketchup/etc. doesn't come out of and kind of flick the end that the condiment does come out of forwards and down at the same thing so that all of the contents goop down towards the end they're meant to come out of. (I've done a bad job of explaining this and web searches for "centrifugal ketchup" aren't coming up with the goods so you're just gonna have to trust me that this is the best way to get those squeezy bottles squeezing smoothly and without interruption.)
posted by terretu at 2:23 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

This imediately made me think of poor Ben Gunn in Treasure Island; "Many’s the long night I have dreamed of cheese – toasted mostly, and woke up again and here I were … You mightn’t happen to have a piece of cheese about you now?”

On a less literary note, no mayo on anything that's going to be cooked (what are these people, animals?) and for a really hot mustard you need Coleman's English mustard powder, freshly made up with a little milk, which will give you wasabi levels of heat.
posted by Fuchsoid at 4:03 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Duke's mayonnaise or GTFO.

The last grilled cheese I made was the closest to perfect as I have ever come. A healthy spread of whole-grain mustard on the inside, with a mound of shredded Cotswold. That's it. That's the sandwich.
posted by emelenjr at 4:32 AM on May 19

Duke's mayonnaise or GTFO.

I just flipped mine. Gonna be solid. Needed some comfort in my day today. Yes I realize it’s not even 9 am yet.
posted by RolandOfEld at 5:35 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Someone once grilled me a cheese sandwich so good I blacked out and only have memories of the moment RIGHT before I bit into it.

Mind you that whole six months is kind of a blur tho so maybe it wasn't just the sandwich's transcendent bliss that is responsible for this phenomenon.
posted by some loser at 5:42 AM on May 19 [5 favorites]

I'm in Ontario and I'll be damned if I can find muenster cheese anywhere...
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 5:52 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

The title is an absolute lie. Only one of these was close to being a grilled cheese: the one with shallots. All of the others are melts.

Nope. A melt is an open-faced sandwich, cooked under the broiler.

A grilled cheese is a sandwich that has cheese inside and that is grilled. It is not "grilled only-cheese", so the name does not a priori rule out additions (even though, in some cases I've seen, good taste does - there are definitely some abominations out there).

Speaking of melts, the only coffee shop on the five hour drive to visit one of my good friends has, as its main food option, three selections that they falsely call grilled cheese. I mistakenly ordered one once. I think I may have told this story here before? Friends, they are not grilled. (They seem to be cooked in a toaster oven?) The outsides of the bread are dry. They are open-faced. I'll grant that they have cheese, but that's their closest resemblance to a grilled cheese sandwich. The owners and staff say, "that's the way we make our grilled cheese", apparently unaware that there is an alternate name for their sandwiches (they are melts), and unconcerned about their lack of truth in advertising. I mean, why not call your pita pizza a grilled cheese? It's on (a type of pre-made) bread, and involves melted cheese! Where does it end?!
posted by eviemath at 5:56 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

I am surprised that no one in the video used rye. A grilled cheese on rye (Jewish or caraway - not pumpernickel, though, since that would overpower the cheese) with butter on the outsides and as sharp a Swiss (or similar) cheese as you can get (eg. the raclette mentioned in the intro story to the platonic ideal grilled cheese version would work) is the best. You could add a small amount of onion (shallot would indeed be a good choice if adding onion), or a small amount of sauerkraut, but it's pretty perfect plain, with a good quality dill pickle on the side.
posted by eviemath at 6:02 AM on May 19 [6 favorites]

There is a certain delightful absurdity in the position that an open-faced sandwich is not a sandwich.

But FWIW, the few times I've been stuck in some strange US place ordering some unappetizing "melt" (usually due to a weird lack of alpha-gal-syndrome-friendly options, grumble grumble), it has invariably been served as a closed-faced sandwich.
posted by Not A Thing at 6:19 AM on May 19

I'm agnostic on whether or not open faced sandwiches are true sandwiches. But we can reasonably be a little more strict with the sub-category definitions. A melt is not the same thing as a grilled cheese, and I apologize that you have encountered restaurants that are similarly confused on this issue as the one I described!
posted by eviemath at 6:28 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Google informs me just now that the definition of melt, like the definition of bungalow, might be one of those weird regional differences, however.
posted by eviemath at 6:30 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

You god damn heretics. Respect the grilled cheese and stop changing it into whatever you like and love it for it what it is. Or make your damn melt sandwich and call it for what it is. A melt.

I don't really care what you call them, it just reminded me of that post. These look delicious and I will try many of them. My friends call these "adult grilled cheese."
posted by Billy Rubin at 6:58 AM on May 19 [6 favorites]

I'm with drivingmenuts here. This wasn't a taxonomy of grilled sandwiches but just some fun things you can put into standard grilled sandwiches.

This is freaking Bon Appétit, for chrissakes. Where's the croque-monsieur and croque-madame?

I also agree with eviemath. A good greasy Patty Melt qualifies as a superset of grilled cheese. Grilled rye bread is amazing.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:15 AM on May 19

The other night I did grilled cheese to go with some leftover soup. Bread: homemade, from sourdough starter (but not the full two day rise/proof cycle, still fantastic.) Cheese: Tillamook sharp cheddar and Frigo mozzarella. I used butter, not mayo, because I’m not a Neanderthal.

10/10 will do again.
posted by azpenguin at 7:25 AM on May 19

Limburger, Eastern European black bread, raw onions and fuck-you mustard.

Kudos. I was just thinking I don't need innovations to my beloved "standard" grilled cheese, but you changed my mind.
posted by splitpeasoup at 7:52 AM on May 19

Someone once grilled me a cheese sandwich so good I blacked out and only have memories of the moment RIGHT before I bit into it.

I had a similar situation with a grilled cheese sandwich in the parking lot after a grateful dead show, but it turned out only to be a leaky regulator on the nitrous tank the guy parked next to us has setup.
posted by mikelieman at 8:00 AM on May 19 [4 favorites]

web searches for "centrifugal ketchup" aren't coming up with the goods

That's because it's the name of my new band and we haven't released our first album yet.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:25 AM on May 19 [5 favorites]

I just wanted to point out that only rectangular bread can (easily) be sliced equitably on the diagonal. Definitely vertical for breads with any prominent rounding on top...
posted by jim in austin at 8:39 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

but green onions and chives aren’t the same thing in any culinary tradition I know.

they are in my mom's. And in the context of a simple grilled cheese sandwich, either will do toward adding a little bit of [ ... whatever it is they offer ... ] around the edge of the flavor, assuming you haven't mucked with the flavor by adding all kinds of other stuff, which puts us in the realm of not talking about grilled cheese sandwiches anymore but "grilled [other thing/s] and cheese sandwiches" ... and if you're not doing it on a grill, call it a melt.
posted by philip-random at 8:48 AM on May 19

I would die for Claire from the Bon Appetit Test Kitchen, but she's dead wrong about horizonal sandwich cuts.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:02 AM on May 19 [4 favorites]

Chris Morocco's sandwich cut shouldn't count as horizontal because his bread wasn't square or rectangular to begin with - it was arc shaped, or half circle. Cutting it right down the middle makes the curved side act like a diagonal, so the sandwich is basically a triangle now.
posted by dnash at 9:08 AM on May 19 [4 favorites]

philip-random, are you thinking of scallions, not chives?
posted by eviemath at 9:11 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

I will be the grilled cheese peacekeeper. I tried both butter and mayo and both were delicious. Mayo burns easier, so be careful.
posted by acrasis at 9:28 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

A thirty-minute video on how to best make a grilled cheese sandwich evokes how the late schlockhuckster Wayne Dyer managed to write about a dozen five-hundred-page books explaining to us how to properly understand an eighty-page work of Taoist philosophy that is possibly the clearest document of a religion or philosophy yet articulated by a human.

It's also a great statement on how hard it is for people to just revel in something simple without feeling the pressure of decades of bad TV cooking shows to zhoozh everything up with a bunch of magical special mods because being good and satisfying and just-right isn't enough—everything has to amaaaazing and exotic and somehow surprising instead of, you know, just a paltry sandwich without any secret ingredients or "life hacks."
posted by sonascope at 10:29 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Yeah, can't believe those South Asian women felt the need to make their food so exotic. How trendy.
posted by tobascodagama at 10:41 AM on May 19 [6 favorites]

... this sauerkraut [with] scrambled eggs

Can confirm: yummy.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:49 AM on May 19

Because of this post I made a grilled cheese sandwich. Thin multigrain rye, triple cheddar with pickles and a smidge of sriracha. Pickles on grilled cheese is the best! As a younger person I thought I didn't like pickles, so now I'm making up for those years of sub-par sandwiches by putting pickles on everything.

I tried using mayo instead of butter and it was kind of meh, I wouldn't do it again. But I don't really like mayo inside a sandwich either, so I should've known better.
posted by oulipian at 10:55 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Raw onions on a grilled cheese sandwich is foul apostasy. Cooked onions are only barely acceptable.

Onions are terrible and when I am god-emperor they will be abolished, with a possible grandfather clause for French onion soup.
posted by zeusianfog at 11:06 AM on May 19

1) Kim chi grilled cheese. Also great as a quesadilla.

2) Butter one piece of bread (or mayo, whatever, I don't judge), place in a cold pan with an unhealthy mound of shredded cheddar, Colby jack, whatever. Cook until bread is grilled and cheese is melted, then flip cheese-side-down into the skillet and burn the shit out of it. Because nothing is better than burnt cheese.
posted by slogger at 11:07 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

There are many impertinent and egregiously unsound opinions in this thread. There, I said it!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:20 AM on May 19 [6 favorites]

slogger, I tried that but it wasn't good. should I have burned the cheese ... more?
posted by the antecedent of that pronoun at 11:28 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Grilled? Melted?

It’s all...

Cheese on Bread.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:48 AM on May 19 [2 favorites]

As soon as this came I called that Priya would be putting leftover aloo gobi into her sammich and that's exactly what happened.

I was staunchly anti-mayo until I actually tried it. Low heat, cover, the truth.
posted by 1adam12 at 11:52 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon, I'm in southern Ontario outside of toronto and my local store carries the Bothwell (which is from Manitoba) Muenster. If you're in Toronto, Cheese Boutique has you covered and it is worth the trip I think.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:54 AM on May 19

how to properly understand an eighty-page work of Taoist philosophy that is possibly the clearest document of a religion or philosophy yet articulated by a human.

I don't know who that is, but if my graduate work taught me anything it's that a few thousand years of Chinese scholars have spilled oceans of ink on that same book, coming to radically different conclusions about what it means. The original text is very, very difficult to deal with.
posted by 1adam12 at 11:56 AM on May 19 [1 favorite]

The most amazing thing we have discovered during quarantine is that caramelized onions are the best addition to grilled cheese ever devised.

Also, #TeamButter
posted by blurker at 12:15 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]

Ok but the best grilled cheese sandwich is:

soft bread, like Sara Lee
butter on the inside
a smear of mustard
a smear of jalapeño cream cheese
mayo on the outside

Griddled low and slow

Then cut on the diagonal and dunked in a bowl of Campbell's tomato soup swimming with goldfish crackers.
posted by apex_ at 12:41 PM on May 19

One of the few benefits of this pandemic is that I can (at 3:30 in the afternoon) read a food post and make the thing. Because it was impromptu, there were some improvisation:
Frozen sourdough bread slices
Mayo (easier to get all the way to the edges on the fly)
Sharp cheddar cheese
leftover pulled pork
fresh baby spinach leaves

Delicious! though it needed some refrigerator pickles, and afterwards Big Purr came up to the kitchen because they smelled toast and wanted to make sure it was cooking-related and not stroke-related.
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 1:03 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

make sure it was cooking-related and not stroke-related.

With enough butter, it could be both!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:06 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]

...and regards to the grilled cheese/melt taxonomy, I do not like "grilled cheese" because I associate it with melted kraft slices (shudder), but I do love a grilled sandwich with melty cheese. Grilled peanut butter sandwiches was my jam growing up.
posted by Hermeowne Grangepurr at 1:07 PM on May 19

I can draw a direct line from watching this video at 10pm last night to me making grilled cheese for lunch today (I consider it a herculean feat of self-control to not have made a 10pm grilled cheese last night). Crusty homemade bread, shredded cheddar + gouda with a little bit of chili onion crisp tucked in, fried low and slow in some leftover bacon fat. Two (mildly greasy) thumbs up!
posted by btfreek at 1:10 PM on May 19

Grilled peanut butter sandwiches was my jam

posted by Greg_Ace at 1:17 PM on May 19 [3 favorites]

The best grilled cheese is actually two grilled cheeses with mismatching cheese on the last few slices of bread, split into thirds and shared with my mom and grandma. A mug of tomato soup is optional but recommended.
posted by Akhu at 1:27 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]

Oh man, I didn't click on this post before now because I am feeling a very strong urge to buy a sandwich press and I didn't want to be tempted. We have had several during the ages, but they all ended up going to recycling because for our family they are very much a fad. We toast sandwiches all the time for 6-8 weeks, and then we have a thing in the cupboard that we never use for years.
Anyway, I finally clicked and felt fine because most of the chefs are just making their sandwiches in a pan or on a griddle. Fine, I can do that. And then Priya came on. And her version is the exact reason I've been wanting a sandwich press. I'm just not good at making samosas and then a while ago I saw someone putting the aloo filling between slices of bread and toasting it. I live in a samosa desert, and the local hardware store has a very cheap press...

Also: Brad and Sohla are just incredible, but I love all the BA staff.

Also: The Tuna Melt Manifesto: 7 Ways to Improve Your Melt
posted by mumimor at 1:45 PM on May 19

And here's me in the UK getting a mite confused, because what you're describing seems to be a fried cheese sandwich. Round these parts, "grilled" means put under what, in other parts, I believe is called the broiler or some such.

So I have no opinion on grilled cheese, never having had such a thing, but if we're talking bread/cheese combinations, then Welsh rarebit does it for me.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 1:45 PM on May 19 [4 favorites]

This was endearingly cute. I very much liked the wiener dog.

When I was 17 and had the metabolism of a blast furnace and literally never felt full, I would come home late and night from being out with friends and make "grilled cheese" sandwiches consisting of sliced American on white toast, microwaved inside a paper towel for 20 seconds (22 if I was feeling lazy and didn't want to move my finger from the "2" to the "0"). I could eat 2 or 3 or, really, an infinite number of them. God, they were gross, and so was I. As an adult I see the beauty of an aloo gobi or sardine grilled cheese sandwich, but even making one in an actual pan is an improvement over my disgusting high school version.
posted by cheapskatebay at 1:55 PM on May 19

So for those of you who were curious what Sohla was referencing as I didn't see the spelling posted on screen, it's Pakora and it looks really good.
posted by Carillon at 1:57 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

I wish I could find the episode of America's Test Kitchen from sometime in the mid-90s where they, in their typical fashion, go through all the iterations of how to make a grilled cheese sandwich and end up with something a little bit fiddly, but damned if it's not worth it.

Which is to say:

Butter so soft as to be almost melted (in the show they actually melted it and applied with a pastry brush)
Soft white bread (altho tbh good with sourdough, too)
Shredded cheese
Low slow heat (Claire levels of slow)

When I went looking, all I could find was a "fancy" grilled cheese episode less than 10 years old, alas.

(I cut horizontal mostly out of spite because my ex was so insistent on diagonal.)
posted by epersonae at 2:20 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Though I will say the whole triangle thing was really weird. I don't get why multiple people kept bringing it up?
posted by Carillon at 2:28 PM on May 19

Though I will say the whole triangle thing was really weird. I don't get why multiple people kept bringing it up?

I think Lopez-Alt started it with his "Triangles Taste Better" meme.
posted by mikelieman at 2:37 PM on May 19

Just test it. Triangles taste better. But it only works for sandwich loaf bread.
posted by mumimor at 2:45 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Metagrillter: Claire levels of slow
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:55 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Just test it. Triangles taste better. But it only works for sandwich loaf bread.

Diagonal cuts are still relevant for like boules or whatever. Here I made a chart
posted by aubilenon at 3:35 PM on May 19 [9 favorites]

I cut mine horizontally (which I think should actually be vertically?) because, due to the rounded top of the bread, when you cut diagonally the two so-called "halves" are not actually the same size, and that is clearly UNACCEPTABLE. A diagonal cut is better for dipping into a mug of tomato soup, though.
posted by team lowkey at 3:48 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

A nearly word for word transcription of an actual conversation in our household:
Mrs LDS: [making grilled cheese sandwich]
Me: "There's a thread on MeFi about the Bon Appetit grilled cheese video." 
Mrs LDS: "oh, I saw that video last night." (just browsing BA's channel) 
Me:"There seems to be debate about whether what the BA chefs are making constitutes actual grilled cheese sandwiches or are just sandwiches with cheese. You should create a MeFi account so you can weigh in, the Internet needs your opinions!" 
Mrs LDS: "I think I may already have a MeFi account."
Me:"You don't know if you have an account? Did you pay $5?"
Mrs LDS: "No. There's a fee?"
Me: "Yeah, it keeps the riff-raff out."
Mrs LDS: "Hmm. I must have made a Reddit account."
Me [look of utter horror] 
Mrs LDS: [smiles, it's now apparent that she was messing with me]
Me; "Typical Redditor, YOU'RE TROLLING ME!"[laughter ensues]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 4:43 PM on May 19 [7 favorites]

Sourdough bread
Butter the outsides of the bread
Honey on the inside of the bread
Grate a bunch of smoked gouda
low heat (Claire method)

That's my preferred grilled cheese. The combination of smokiness from the cheese and sweetness from the honey combines to be something I've never had in any other grilled cheese.
posted by kafziel at 5:02 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

Grilled cheese discourse is everything I didn't know I wanted
posted by Kitchen Witch at 5:59 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]

Honey on the inside of the bread

Brie, honey, lightly-crushed toasted almonds, a few tidy bits of roasted chicken (maybe Costco rotisserie chicken leftovers?) butter on the outside.

(normally I'm pro-mayo, but on this one the tang doesn't help)
posted by aramaic at 6:57 PM on May 19

I used the cheese plane I discussed here and just ate slice after slice of the sharp cheddar "quarantine cheese" I'd set aside, believing I'd know when the right time had come. Anything I cook comes out worse than what it is in my imagination, so this offered the best of both worlds.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 7:25 PM on May 19

team lowkey I believe that so long as the cut passes through the center of the shape you're geometrically bound to have equal halves, though determining it might be too much for lunch.
posted by Carillon at 8:14 PM on May 19

You have to balance your sandwich on a thimble to determine the center before you cut it though?
posted by aubilenon at 8:26 PM on May 19 [2 favorites]

If one truly cares about equal halves I imagine no sacrifice is too large.
posted by Carillon at 10:46 PM on May 19

Frankly, I am prepared to sacrifice all to the ideal of unequal halves.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:53 PM on May 19 [1 favorite]

I will eat both halves until what remains of them is equal
posted by aubilenon at 12:19 AM on May 20 [2 favorites]

due to the rounded top of the bread, when you cut diagonally the two so-called "halves" are not actually the same size

I think you are confusing shape versus size. A boule cut on a somewhat diagonal (aubilenon's chart is an excellent resource!) will necessarily have different shaped pieces, but the cut can absolutely be positioned so that they are the same size.
posted by eviemath at 4:54 AM on May 20

When I have the time and energy, though, personally I make cuts that are not straight lines, that involve a zig or maybe also a zag. You don't need a bunch of extra ingredients to fancy up your grilled cheese!
posted by eviemath at 4:57 AM on May 20 [2 favorites]

I watched this video and now I made a grilled cheese for lunch.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:28 AM on May 20

When I had to reintroduce dairy a few years back, I made friends with a cheesemonger who recommended a lovely mitica for grilled cheese, and advised grating the cheese for better melting.

I've gotten to have some lovely grilled cheeses when I was traveling for my old job, including one with like eight kinds of cheese at a little shop in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, and a few different sandwiches at the Dallas Grilled Cheese Co., my favorite of which was the spicy two-pork. The bacon and brie was oddly disappointing. Anyway - thanks for the post! I'm looking forward to watching the video and then harassing my friends with it.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:41 AM on May 20

Yes, but have you considered slicing it into four strips as a brand-new snack?
posted by ilana at 2:09 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]

We've been seeing that 'grilled cheese strips snack' commercial on all the reruns of season 2 MST3K episodes at the 'Club' meetings. Makes the 30-year-old spots feel even older.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:40 PM on May 20

Did anyone else feel like Molly should have put more cheese between the pickle and the bread? It seemed like the pickle would sog up that top side and not "glue on" correctly without more cheese.
posted by slenderloris at 6:31 PM on May 20

I've always had mayo inside my grilled cheese sandwiches (except when I was a kid and my mom always bought Miracle Whip instead of mayo) and butter on the outside. Some previous time the internet started talking about cooking a grilled cheese in the mayo I tried it and didn't like it. I tried it again to be sure, and still didn't like it. My wife later made one that way without telling me, and I could tell. I dislike nothing about mayo, but I want my grilled cheese cooked in butter, and usually a lot of it.

Also, I love Claire but I don't have the patience for a grilled cheese that takes half an hour. I've made these damn scrambled eggs (it took an hour on our stove and it was worth it), but that grilled cheese is too much. When I want a grilled cheese, I want it NOW.
posted by fedward at 6:45 PM on May 20

I can’t relate to people who can wait 30 minutes for a grilled cheese.
posted by rodlymight at 6:57 PM on May 20 [5 favorites]

Right? Like even if I’m not hungry when I start, I’ll be hungry after thinking about grilled cheese for 10 minutes
posted by aubilenon at 9:23 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]

Took inspiration from this thread to make myself the perfect grilled cheese—just two slices of Vienna bread (pan challah is also kickass in GC), 40g of muenster, a couple tablespoons of good butter and no fancy or additional ingredients (watching my lexicon this time and, as a licensed, practicing homosexual, I have every right to use the sometimes slur of "fancy" to mean things-not-normally-found-on-my-grilled-cheese-sandwiches).

I tend to cook slow, so the cheese can melt properly in a perfect synchonization with the Maillard reaction rendering the bread's outer surface into a perfectly buttery crust rather than a too-hard shell or a limp impersonation of grilled bread, though it's still the quickest cooked meal with more than two ingredients (the quickest with two would be a Spanish-fried egg in a carbon steel wok).

One of the things I adore about a well-made grilled cheese sandwich is how much it is the product of a process, like the perfect fried egg sandwich, rather than necessarily the melding of ingredients in a melt. It's the literal example of action without action in principle, just letting time and the properties of things and situations come together. One can can make a splendid sandwich of any number of varieties through aggregation, contrast, and experimentation, and those are wonderful things, but there's something magical about being able to render something perfect from almost nothing, with just an accumulation of experience and skill to render base materials into gold.

Next up on my MeFi-inspired run of lunchtime sandwiches will naturally be a Welsh rabbit (never ever the joyless hypercorrection "rarebit" in my household), which is slightly less quick, but nonetheless a perfect complement to another day working at a computer wedged behind the washing machine.
posted by sonascope at 9:18 AM on May 21

« Older 오일팔 (5·18)   |   Community: What's Up, Seven-Up? Newer »

You are not currently logged in. Log in or create a new account to post comments.