RAMBONER

June 8, 2020 2:16 PM

Twitter user silliWillis (@bubblemonkey15) dresses a penis (presumably theirs) in cute costumes. So, so NSFW. (h/t ColdChef)
posted by Johnny Wallflower (29 comments total)

I'll make it through Monday, Abehammerb thought on waking, I'll make it through just this one day without any terrible ideas. By 3PM he'd started rifling through the family craft bins for googly eyes to glue to his penis.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:27 PM on June 8, 2020 [19 favorites]

Pretty cocksure, Johnny.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:37 PM on June 8, 2020 [3 favorites]

And they told me Twitter was a cesspool!
posted by chavenet at 2:39 PM on June 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

Nice pria-pics
posted by Joan Rivers of Babylon at 2:39 PM on June 8, 2020 [13 favorites]

I know there's a previously for this somewhere.
posted by zengargoyle at 2:45 PM on June 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

Um.
posted by zardoz at 2:46 PM on June 8, 2020 [3 favorites]

I see no "no real penis harmed' from pipe cleaners and modge podge and other crafting supplies in the production notes.
posted by clavdivs at 2:56 PM on June 8, 2020 [2 favorites]

Because internet.
posted by allegedly at 2:56 PM on June 8, 2020

I know there's a previously for this somewhere.

If so, it needs backtagging with "peniscostumes."
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:57 PM on June 8, 2020 [5 favorites]

There was the book Kokugami. Slightly amusing, but Orientalist.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:15 PM on June 8, 2020 [2 favorites]

can't really call them unsolicited.. I did click a link and I should have known what to expect.

I did not expect the.. level of commitment. It's not even tremendously high, just much, much higher than a person would expect for such a one-note gag. The leprechaun? That is as charming a bit of dick costumery as I will see in a lifetime.
posted by elkevelvet at 3:22 PM on June 8, 2020 [8 favorites]

No Bluebird of Hap-penis? Opportunity lost.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:27 PM on June 8, 2020 [7 favorites]

I know there's a previously for this somewhere.

Previously
Previouslier

Close, but no Freud's cigar!
posted by phunniemee at 3:42 PM on June 8, 2020 [3 favorites]

The Phantom of the Cockra

"Have you gorged yourself, at last, in your lust for blood?
Am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:47 PM on June 8, 2020 [7 favorites]

Um.
posted by zardoz at 2:46 PM on June 8

yes yes, the penis is evil, the penis shoots seeds, we've all heard the gun-vomiting flying head go through the neighborhood amirite
posted by taquito sunrise at 3:47 PM on June 8, 2020 [9 favorites]

This person has nothing better to do than dick around on Twitter?
posted by Chuffy at 3:49 PM on June 8, 2020 [9 favorites]

"presumably theirs"

That's a pretty big assumption there.
posted by hippybear at 3:49 PM on June 8, 2020 [4 favorites]

And they told me Twitter was a cesspool!

More of a junkyard, apparently.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:54 PM on June 8, 2020 [14 favorites]

That's a pretty big assumption there.

That's a very measured response.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:59 PM on June 8, 2020 [5 favorites]

previously (now defunct)
posted by deadbilly at 4:03 PM on June 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

That's a pretty big assumption there.

I’ve seen bigger assumptions.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:17 PM on June 8, 2020 [8 favorites]

I'm gonna make a cardboard dick spider
posted by pwnguin at 4:24 PM on June 8, 2020 [3 favorites]

That Twitter account appears to have been created in April 2020.

So there’s one silver lining to the whole lockdown thing.
posted by nickmark at 4:36 PM on June 8, 2020 [5 favorites]

You know how sometimes when you say a word several times in a row you get disoriented and aren't sure what it means anymore? TIL that when you look at a penis in a costume several times in a row you get disoriented and aren't sure if it's actually a frankfurter in a costume.
posted by HotToddy at 4:41 PM on June 8, 2020 [4 favorites]

"I've been learning to bake bread"

"I've been brushing up on a foreign language"

"I've been putting costumes and googly eyes on my dick"
posted by hippybear at 4:43 PM on June 8, 2020 [22 favorites]

Frankfurter frankfurter frankfurter
posted by HotToddy at 4:43 PM on June 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

[scrolls through 2 months of uncensored dick pics]

Twitter:

[reaches the final post in the Junk Journey (cock cruise? schlong safari?)]

Twitter: "The following media includes potentially sensitive content."

Nice job, Twitter Algorithm. Bang-up job as always.
posted by range at 4:50 PM on June 8, 2020 [8 favorites]

To be fair, most of those pics were of a penis in disguise.
posted by Nelson at 5:29 PM on June 8, 2020 [13 favorites]

It's like Hallowe'enie
posted by Kabanos at 6:23 PM on June 8, 2020 [9 favorites]