An Evening of Carnal Delights as Envisioned by My 10-Year-Old Self
June 15, 2020 8:14 PM Subscribe
Orlando Bloom looks at me soulfully, and I can tell that he’s about to kiss me the exact way I want to be kissed, which is by darting his tongue in and out of my mouth like a hermit crab. His body throbs because he knows how smart and good at making friendship bracelets I am.
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