I have SO NOT BEEN HACKED
July 17, 2020 10:19 PM Subscribe
Author Susan Orlean is living her best quarantine life right life now by being very publicly drunk on Twitter.
This delightul event is being memorialized by The AV Club (to which Orlean has linked), meaww.com, and nj.com
This delightul event is being memorialized by The AV Club (to which Orlean has linked), meaww.com, and nj.com
Welp, this makes me feel better.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:34 PM on July 17, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:34 PM on July 17, 2020 [1 favorite]
Is that fucking candy?: A Complete History of 2020
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 10:37 PM on July 17, 2020 [11 favorites]
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 10:37 PM on July 17, 2020 [11 favorites]
She's right though, newborn colts are awesome.
posted by The otter lady at 10:48 PM on July 17, 2020
posted by The otter lady at 10:48 PM on July 17, 2020
fell free th joinn the comverasitationalizatioing.
posted by clavdivs at 11:07 PM on July 17, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 11:07 PM on July 17, 2020 [3 favorites]
Who am I to judge? I can’t stop sniffing glue and ordering off Amazon.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:11 PM on July 17, 2020 [12 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:11 PM on July 17, 2020 [12 favorites]
well I certainly feel a lot better about never having written any quality literature, lemme tell you
is it time for another GnT
posted by armoir from antproof case at 11:19 PM on July 17, 2020 [2 favorites]
is it time for another GnT
posted by armoir from antproof case at 11:19 PM on July 17, 2020 [2 favorites]
She kept it up for a remarkably long period of time; I think it was a period of two or three hours? Anyway, I'm glad she finally found her drunken comfort animal
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord at 11:28 PM on July 17, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord at 11:28 PM on July 17, 2020 [4 favorites]
1) "I do r e we. Know who is I my house" That, too, is my favorite Autechre album.
2) Ah, this brings back so many fond memories of the Scott Walker protests drunken posting. I feel her pain. She is not alone.
posted by symbioid at 11:28 PM on July 17, 2020 [14 favorites]
2) Ah, this brings back so many fond memories of the Scott Walker protests drunken posting. I feel her pain. She is not alone.
posted by symbioid at 11:28 PM on July 17, 2020 [14 favorites]
This one says it all, really.
When they finally bury this goddamn year, this is what needs to be written on the casket.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 11:39 PM on July 17, 2020 [12 favorites]
WHO IS SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHINGIt me! And this was before the news broke about John Lewis.
When they finally bury this goddamn year, this is what needs to be written on the casket.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 11:39 PM on July 17, 2020 [12 favorites]
I ALSO HAVE NOT BEEN HACKED IF YOU CATCH MY MEANING
posted by aubilenon at 11:49 PM on July 17, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 11:49 PM on July 17, 2020 [9 favorites]
Fuck, hadn't heard about John Lewis. I stopped reading today after RBG.
posted by away for regrooving at 11:56 PM on July 17, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by away for regrooving at 11:56 PM on July 17, 2020 [1 favorite]
As the saying goes, usually you want to avoid being the main character on Twitter. Orlean has rewritten the rule book in the best possible way.
posted by the duck by the oboe at 12:53 AM on July 18, 2020 [18 favorites]
posted by the duck by the oboe at 12:53 AM on July 18, 2020 [18 favorites]
this is a case of the exception proving the rule
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord at 2:25 AM on July 18, 2020
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord at 2:25 AM on July 18, 2020
has she uh started to make the sound of half a dial tone yet
posted by taquito sunrise at 2:26 AM on July 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by taquito sunrise at 2:26 AM on July 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
+1 for team just getting fucking trashed every now and again.
One of the tiny slivers of light in the pandemic has been the burgeoning rejection of the stupid inconsequential bullshit that we are forced to tell ourselves to keep this whole facade upright. We are simultaneously becoming more forgiving of our humanity and increasingly utterly fucking done with anyone who wants to keep up the charade.
It's like half the planet just turned 40.
posted by fullerine at 3:03 AM on July 18, 2020 [47 favorites]
One of the tiny slivers of light in the pandemic has been the burgeoning rejection of the stupid inconsequential bullshit that we are forced to tell ourselves to keep this whole facade upright. We are simultaneously becoming more forgiving of our humanity and increasingly utterly fucking done with anyone who wants to keep up the charade.
It's like half the planet just turned 40.
posted by fullerine at 3:03 AM on July 18, 2020 [47 favorites]
I've always wished that I could get charmingly drunk in that Nick and Nora Charles 1930s screwball sort of way but on the very seldom occasions that I drink too much, I just get quiet and sleepy.
posted by octothorpe at 3:42 AM on July 18, 2020 [30 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 3:42 AM on July 18, 2020 [30 favorites]
I stopped reading today after RBG.
PSA: RBG is still very much alive. For those of you like myself who read the above and scrambled into Defcon “oh fuck” mode.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 4:09 AM on July 18, 2020 [30 favorites]
PSA: RBG is still very much alive. For those of you like myself who read the above and scrambled into Defcon “oh fuck” mode.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 4:09 AM on July 18, 2020 [30 favorites]
"Maybe I am drinking too much during THE FUCKING PANDEMIC"
posted by chris24 at 5:17 AM on July 18, 2020 [18 favorites]
posted by chris24 at 5:17 AM on July 18, 2020 [18 favorites]
Something was in the air last night. Grumpbearbride and I had vodka, beer and white wine. I asked for a breakfast hangover. Life delivered.
posted by grumpybear69 at 5:22 AM on July 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 5:22 AM on July 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
Was she going to take Tylenol after getting this drunk? I really hope she didn’t.
posted by Automocar at 7:14 AM on July 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Automocar at 7:14 AM on July 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
That was a treasure.
posted by Savannah at 7:55 AM on July 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Savannah at 7:55 AM on July 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I watched this unfold in realtime and it was glorious.
posted by gwint at 8:29 AM on July 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by gwint at 8:29 AM on July 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
Also I hope she is still sleeping this morning. It's a hot day in the Northeast to be nursing a hangover.
posted by gwint at 8:31 AM on July 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by gwint at 8:31 AM on July 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
This was a lovely diversion from all the angst I’ve been feeling today. ❤️
posted by notaninja at 8:51 AM on July 18, 2020
posted by notaninja at 8:51 AM on July 18, 2020
I was delighted at first and then concerned when she said her family was mad. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but it hurts your heart when certain older relatives get extremely Cute on Chardonnay, and you have to be the Saffron in the party and make sure everyone is okay. She's so brilliant; I read The Library Book recently and I loved it. I hope this is not a problem.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:53 AM on July 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 8:53 AM on July 18, 2020 [6 favorites]
I also enjoyed The Library Book, although as a public librarian I really couldn't understand how a lifelong library patron and experienced author could be as amazed as she apparently was upon discovering that the L.A. Public Library had...*dramatic music*...a shipping department.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:09 AM on July 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:09 AM on July 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
I watched this unfold in realtime and it was glorious.
It had a certain similarity with the covfefe period, where everyone on Twitter seemed to be having a specific moment that won’t make much sense later but was absolutely amazing at the time.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:32 AM on July 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
It had a certain similarity with the covfefe period, where everyone on Twitter seemed to be having a specific moment that won’t make much sense later but was absolutely amazing at the time.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:32 AM on July 18, 2020 [2 favorites]
Jason Isbell: “When I used to drink I always thought I was the type of drunk Susan Orlean was tonight but come to find out I was wrong”
posted by thelonius at 9:41 AM on July 18, 2020 [20 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 9:41 AM on July 18, 2020 [20 favorites]
It's a hot day in the Northeast to be nursing a hangover.
I have been drinking too much since the shutdown, and while it's partially my own resolve keeping me a little less tipsy in the last week, it's also . . . fucking hot in the Mid-Atlantic. I do not want to have night sweats, and I don't want to nurse a hangover in the heat, and it's a bigger disincentive than the absolute knowledge that going through four liters of gin in as many weeks probably did irreparable damage to our livers.
posted by aspersioncast at 1:02 PM on July 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
I have been drinking too much since the shutdown, and while it's partially my own resolve keeping me a little less tipsy in the last week, it's also . . . fucking hot in the Mid-Atlantic. I do not want to have night sweats, and I don't want to nurse a hangover in the heat, and it's a bigger disincentive than the absolute knowledge that going through four liters of gin in as many weeks probably did irreparable damage to our livers.
posted by aspersioncast at 1:02 PM on July 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
Seattle journalist and author Erica C. Barnett on the cultural dynamics behind this kind of celebration: I Was a “Fun” Drunk. Until I Wasn’t.
We celebrate women — particularly famous women — when they embarrass themselves, or get falling-down-drunk, or go on harmless-seeming tirades against their families. “No one on my house is talking to me right now ok!! YeH whatever I hzte you too.” We stop celebrating them when their behavior tips over into problematic territory — when Britney shaves her head, or Lindsay passes out in her Mercedes. Being a “fun” drunk is a trap, but you won’t know that until you get down off the bar, or stop live-tweeting your life like it’s a sitcom, or say something publicly that’s just a no-two-ways-about-it bummer, like expressing shame, helplessness, or regret. Watch how fast the crowds dissipate then.posted by vibratory manner of working at 1:50 PM on July 18, 2020 [8 favorites]
There is no indication or evidence that Susan Orlean has an alcohol problem so can we not with the concern trolling. It is OK to get drunk and silly on occasion, even on Twitter.
posted by grumpybear69 at 2:07 PM on July 18, 2020 [35 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 2:07 PM on July 18, 2020 [35 favorites]
As Cher Horowitz said once upon a time, it is one thing to light up a doobie at parties and quite another to be fried all day, do you see the distinction?
Wrong substance, I know, but a one time giant drunk is more fun than an every day experience like this. I know jackall about Susan Orlean, but I'm assuming it's a one off. Which we all need these days.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:09 PM on July 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
Wrong substance, I know, but a one time giant drunk is more fun than an every day experience like this. I know jackall about Susan Orlean, but I'm assuming it's a one off. Which we all need these days.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:09 PM on July 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
You're quite right about that, and the piece does not suggest that she does, if you read it. It's thesis is that this kind of celebration of drunkenness can be a powerful motivator for people who *do* have a problem with alcohol, one which makes it difficult for people to admit that problem and seek help.
I do not think it is fair or accurate to dismiss that as concern trolling, especially coming from a woman who is a recovered alcoholic writing from personal experience about the dynamics that made it harder for her to seek the help she needed.
I drink. Nobody's saying it's bad to get drunk on occasion, or that it's not fun. But it's a dangerous and addictive substance, and we should listen to people who point out the ways that our attitudes towards alcohol exacerbate that danger for others.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 3:25 PM on July 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
I do not think it is fair or accurate to dismiss that as concern trolling, especially coming from a woman who is a recovered alcoholic writing from personal experience about the dynamics that made it harder for her to seek the help she needed.
I drink. Nobody's saying it's bad to get drunk on occasion, or that it's not fun. But it's a dangerous and addictive substance, and we should listen to people who point out the ways that our attitudes towards alcohol exacerbate that danger for others.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 3:25 PM on July 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
I do not think it is fair or accurate to dismiss that as concern trolling, especially coming from a woman who is a recovered alcoholic writing from personal experience about the dynamics that made it harder for her to seek the help she needed.
I liked the Erica Barnett piece, as a former "fun" drunk who constantly did regrettable things, stuff like very nearly murdering my best friend at the time along with myself, or coming out of a blackout to discover I was having sex with a stranger I didn't remember meeting in a cornfield. You know, good drunk times & rockin' oldies.
Everyone kept right on treating me like a fun free-spirited 20- (then 30-) something. No one ever suggested to my face that I might drink too much, including the friend I almost killed (he did have some other complaints about me, justifiably so, but that one never came up -- he was a "fun" drunk himself.)
When I finally did quit, he & my other best friend at the time (a third "fun" drunk transitioning into a functional alcoholic) reacted as though me quitting drinking meant we could no longer hang out & have fun ever again, & the other friend tried to trick me into drinking a sloe gin fizz. I could taste the alcohol, & this led to a genuinely pretty agonizing moment where I was trying to figure out whether there had been a mistake at the bar or whether my trusted friend of over a decade was actually deliberately sabotaging me against my best interests. (She admitted to the first friend that it was in fact the latter, trust evaporated, boom done.)
Anyway, I'm not saying it can't be fun & entertaining for someone without an alcohol addiction to get occasionally shithammered, & I'm not saying we need to assume someone who does get shithammered has an alcohol addiction without knowing more facts.
What I am saying is I agree with Erica Barnett that if you do have an alcohol addiction, people giving you positive reinforcement for being drunk and "fun" can prolong the time it takes before you go "Okay shit this is actually very bad & I need to treat it like it's a problem," & we need to be able to talk about this.
Preferably we would be able to bring it up without being accused of concern trolling, or of being no fun. (Despite being overwhelmingly less drunk I'm still pretty fun; the other day I told taquito boyfriend that my brother-in-law the farmer had trouble with his herbs being too bushy & short, and he was trying to grow his basil ganglier. That's a fun person thing to do right? Shit maybe I've never been fun)
posted by taquito sunrise at 6:29 PM on July 18, 2020 [10 favorites]
I liked the Erica Barnett piece, as a former "fun" drunk who constantly did regrettable things, stuff like very nearly murdering my best friend at the time along with myself, or coming out of a blackout to discover I was having sex with a stranger I didn't remember meeting in a cornfield. You know, good drunk times & rockin' oldies.
Everyone kept right on treating me like a fun free-spirited 20- (then 30-) something. No one ever suggested to my face that I might drink too much, including the friend I almost killed (he did have some other complaints about me, justifiably so, but that one never came up -- he was a "fun" drunk himself.)
When I finally did quit, he & my other best friend at the time (a third "fun" drunk transitioning into a functional alcoholic) reacted as though me quitting drinking meant we could no longer hang out & have fun ever again, & the other friend tried to trick me into drinking a sloe gin fizz. I could taste the alcohol, & this led to a genuinely pretty agonizing moment where I was trying to figure out whether there had been a mistake at the bar or whether my trusted friend of over a decade was actually deliberately sabotaging me against my best interests. (She admitted to the first friend that it was in fact the latter, trust evaporated, boom done.)
Anyway, I'm not saying it can't be fun & entertaining for someone without an alcohol addiction to get occasionally shithammered, & I'm not saying we need to assume someone who does get shithammered has an alcohol addiction without knowing more facts.
What I am saying is I agree with Erica Barnett that if you do have an alcohol addiction, people giving you positive reinforcement for being drunk and "fun" can prolong the time it takes before you go "Okay shit this is actually very bad & I need to treat it like it's a problem," & we need to be able to talk about this.
Preferably we would be able to bring it up without being accused of concern trolling, or of being no fun. (Despite being overwhelmingly less drunk I'm still pretty fun; the other day I told taquito boyfriend that my brother-in-law the farmer had trouble with his herbs being too bushy & short, and he was trying to grow his basil ganglier. That's a fun person thing to do right? Shit maybe I've never been fun)
posted by taquito sunrise at 6:29 PM on July 18, 2020 [10 favorites]
we should listen to people who point out the ways that our attitudes towards alcohol exacerbate that danger for others
Whereas I'm increasingly subscribing to the idea of, better the preventable disease you know, than the one your government and a third of your compatriots completely deny while it murders us all.
At least with alcoholism I know what's destroying my organs, and why, and exactly who made this happen.
Or wait, am I doing it now? I'm probably doing it now.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:38 PM on July 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
Whereas I'm increasingly subscribing to the idea of, better the preventable disease you know, than the one your government and a third of your compatriots completely deny while it murders us all.
At least with alcoholism I know what's destroying my organs, and why, and exactly who made this happen.
Or wait, am I doing it now? I'm probably doing it now.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:38 PM on July 18, 2020 [1 favorite]
Hey, beats the hell out of Bitcoin scams.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 6:50 PM on July 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 6:50 PM on July 18, 2020 [3 favorites]
I think the person who used Susan Orlean's two hours of public drunk tweeting as a hook to promote their own article on Medium, and their own memoir, is a fucking asshole. And is possibly just as addicted to attention as they were to booze.
posted by the turtle's teeth at 6:53 PM on July 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by the turtle's teeth at 6:53 PM on July 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
Deborah Vankin in The Los Angeles Times: “Susan Orlean takes us behind her drunken Twitter whirlwind — and the wild responses”
It was all real. I wish I were that good at crafting a fake drunken rant. This was what really happened: I came home and wanted my cat and I wanted candy and everyone was watching a movie and ignoring me. It was all completely authentic. I think it would be very hard to create a sort of loopy stream of consciousness rant and have it seem real.posted by Going To Maine at 6:58 PM on July 18, 2020 [4 favorites]
Imagine seriously writing the words We celebrate women — particularly famous women — when they embarrass themselves, or get falling-down-drunk, or go on harmless-seeming tirades against their families.
Yes, that's the problem with this country. We're just too kind to women. Too forgiving. Too tolerant. Too celebratory. What we need is a society more willing to imagine the most negative and cruel and uncharitable scenario regarding any woman who shows the briefest moment of vulnerability in public. I just hope one day, maybe with Erica C. Barnett's help, we can get there.
posted by the turtle's teeth at 7:13 PM on July 18, 2020 [16 favorites]
Yes, that's the problem with this country. We're just too kind to women. Too forgiving. Too tolerant. Too celebratory. What we need is a society more willing to imagine the most negative and cruel and uncharitable scenario regarding any woman who shows the briefest moment of vulnerability in public. I just hope one day, maybe with Erica C. Barnett's help, we can get there.
posted by the turtle's teeth at 7:13 PM on July 18, 2020 [16 favorites]
I would suggest that that's a deeply uncharitable reading of single sentence in isolation, and one which is at odds with the meaning of the text.
Sorry I put a word of caution in your feel-good thread, everybody.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 7:58 PM on July 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
Sorry I put a word of caution in your feel-good thread, everybody.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 7:58 PM on July 18, 2020 [7 favorites]
I feel like a lot of people in my orbit are exhibiting nothing but caution these days, so seeing someone cutting lose for two hours is subversive and naughty and delightful.
posted by JenMarie at 9:57 AM on July 19, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by JenMarie at 9:57 AM on July 19, 2020 [9 favorites]
More Orleans follow-up from Travis M. Andrews at The Washington Post: “Susan Orlean explains her drunken viral Twitter thread, candy-coated fennel seeds and the comfort of cats”
… So we headed home, and I confided in my husband that I was extremely drunk. I ate a taco and went to bed. I was lying in bed, and you know the evil of having your phone sitting right next to you. We all know what that leads to.posted by Going To Maine at 4:02 PM on July 19, 2020
Coming in to add some additional context via Barnett's twitter thread prior to the article. I think the most interesting thing she brought up is that these platforms enable a chance to feel like we know the person communicating/entertaining/entreating us. I think the drunkeness and whether it's an indicator of a deeper problem is lesser to the projection of our lighthearted experience of drunkenness onto Orlean's moment. Maybe true, maybe not. It's the argument going on in here.
And the argument will continue until something that we all agree is bad happens. (We've all been watching Kanye this week right?) I don't think that's where this twitter stream is headed, but I feel skeptical that living vicariously through a celebrity author I know only slightly is really as good as having the experience myself or sharing the experience with friends who know me. And I appreciate Barnett giving us a reason to pause and think about how we celebrate with one another.
posted by SoundInhabitant at 5:44 PM on July 19, 2020
And the argument will continue until something that we all agree is bad happens. (We've all been watching Kanye this week right?) I don't think that's where this twitter stream is headed, but I feel skeptical that living vicariously through a celebrity author I know only slightly is really as good as having the experience myself or sharing the experience with friends who know me. And I appreciate Barnett giving us a reason to pause and think about how we celebrate with one another.
posted by SoundInhabitant at 5:44 PM on July 19, 2020
I gotta say the appeal of this whole event was kind of baffling to me as it was happening and it took quite a while to understand what it was even about. Maybe because I don't know who she is?
posted by bongo_x at 8:39 PM on July 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by bongo_x at 8:39 PM on July 19, 2020 [1 favorite]
« Older Bringing cyberspace down to Earth | And knowing is half the battle Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Going To Maine at 10:21 PM on July 17, 2020 [9 favorites]