Sooner or later, it had to be done

December 14, 2021 6:00 PM

Nic Cage as...Nic Cage (slyt) Just what it says on the tin. Previously
posted by Insert Clever Name Here (39 comments total)

I want a character in the movie to come up to him and say, "I loved you in that jewel thief movie with John Malkovich".
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:43 PM on December 14, 2021 [7 favorites]

I think he just lapped William Shatner.
posted by straight at 6:43 PM on December 14, 2021 [13 favorites]

I hope they can stick to the rule that Last Action Hero fumbled and make him completely unable to do anything that only works in movies.

(Unless they do something bonkers that's more entertaining, in which case, carry on, Mr. Cage.)
posted by straight at 6:48 PM on December 14, 2021 [3 favorites]

Nonsense, yes, perhaps - but oh, what precious nonsense!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:02 PM on December 14, 2021 [2 favorites]

ABC - Always Be Caging
I had to watch this movie trailer twice... it's just so Nicolas Cage
posted by inthe80s at 7:08 PM on December 14, 2021 [7 favorites]

He was perfect in Pig.
posted by sjswitzer at 7:12 PM on December 14, 2021 [3 favorites]

I can't believe they're actually making a movie about how Nicolas Cage will take a role in literally anything.

I mean, he took a role in this movie, didn't he?

Also, bonus Neil Patrick Harris. I'm sold.
posted by deadaluspark at 7:14 PM on December 14, 2021 [8 favorites]

If Nick can do Bad Lieutenant, he could play Frederick Seidel.
posted by clavdivs at 7:19 PM on December 14, 2021 [2 favorites]

I am so excited for this.
posted by Mavri at 7:24 PM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]

For some reason I'm reminded of Zelazny's idea of Godhood from "Lord of Light", the idea that you can achieve divinity by simply being yourself so thoroughly that the fabric of the universe can't ignore or deny you.
posted by mhoye at 7:36 PM on December 14, 2021 [15 favorites]

Hollywood imitates College Humor?
posted by doctornemo at 7:37 PM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]

Mr. Cage may just win after all.
posted by philip-random at 7:39 PM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]

Previously, in movies where an eccentric lead actor plays himself, JCVD.
posted by mhum at 7:51 PM on December 14, 2021 [6 favorites]

Between this and the trailer earlier today for Everything Everywhere All at Once, my feelings about the state of cinema in 2022 are bullish.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:53 PM on December 14, 2021 [11 favorites]

I think he just lapped William Shatner.

I think he just jumped over a shark while riding a lapped William Shatner that was also somehow jumping over a shark and now it's just Non-Euclidean recursive jumped sharks jumping over other jumped sharks all the way down but wait maybe that's actually sideways wait no it's all the way down again.
posted by loquacious at 9:13 PM on December 14, 2021 [9 favorites]

It might be kind of fun, but that last joke in the trailer about the wall is kind of a red flag. You don't need to explain the joke--show, don't tell.
posted by zardoz at 9:39 PM on December 14, 2021 [7 favorites]

We have to go deepercagier.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:52 PM on December 14, 2021 [3 favorites]

Everything Everywhere All at Once
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

They can also give me a lot more of these wordy titles before I will get tired of them. But only good ones.
posted by straight at 9:54 PM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]

I feel like there was a vogue for Lengthy Somewhat Vague Adjectival Title in the early 00s, e.g A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, and so on, but I'm here for its revival anyway.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:20 PM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]

I’m waiting for 90 Minutes You Will Never Get Back, But You’re More or Less OK with That
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:43 AM on December 15, 2021 [5 favorites]

Pedro Pascal is my imaginary boyfriend and I'm not sharing him with any of you. Officially calling dibs.

Also, over the weekend I learned that Nic Cage is 57. He was only 23 in Moonstruck!
posted by Sweetie Darling at 5:28 AM on December 15, 2021 [1 favorite]

90 Minutes You Will Never Get Back, But You’re More or Less OK with That

The problem is that modern movies are like 130 minutes. No thank you.

Really, though, if they can keep this under 105 or so I can't imagine it could be so bad that I wouldn't enjoy it. Nic Cage is a national treasure (knowhatimean), a genuinely-talented performer who chose a different path that seems to have worked for him. I am extremely here for late-career meta-Cage.

(Interestingly, I thought Neil Patrick Harris's performance in the Netflix A Series of Unfortunate Events series was somewhat Cageian in its scenery-chewing hamminess. Not outré the way Cage is, of course, but I really appreciate a performance so fully-committed to absurd melodrama.)
posted by uncleozzy at 5:36 AM on December 15, 2021 [2 favorites]

But will it reference his “role” in Homestuck?
posted by brook horse at 6:12 AM on December 15, 2021

I will be deeply disappointed if this movie doesn't at least include a cameo by Danny Pudi as Abed Nadir as Nicholas Cage.
posted by Mayor West at 6:20 AM on December 15, 2021 [5 favorites]

Also, over the weekend I learned that Nic Cage is 57. He was only 23 in Moonstruck!

NPH is 48 and he was 16 when he was in Doogie Howser, M.D.
posted by deadaluspark at 7:19 AM on December 15, 2021 [2 favorites]

We've already had Being John Malkovich and John Claude van Johnson (as mentioned), so I feel like any movie that wants to go in this direction needs to up the ante on crazy. Which dovetails well with a meta-movie about Nic Cage.

Would it be better or worse to make a movie like this where an actor other than Nic Cage plays Nic Cage? It would need to have the actual Nic Cage cast as someone other than himself to hang a lampshade on the fact that they're intentionally not having Nic Cage play himself. Maybe Nic Cage could play John Malkovich playing JCVD.
posted by adamrice at 8:01 AM on December 15, 2021

This is going to sound completely immature but I think the value of this movie is going to be in how high can you get before it makes sense.
posted by markbrendanawitzmissesus at 8:08 AM on December 15, 2021 [3 favorites]

This is going to sound completely immature but I think the value of this movie is going to be in how high can you get before it makes sense.

Forget smoking a doobie for this one. You'll need to eat a whole bag of mushrooms instead.
posted by deadaluspark at 8:30 AM on December 15, 2021 [1 favorite]

Pedro Pascal saying "I have an unusually large head" had me in fits of giggles"
posted by Faintdreams at 9:45 AM on December 15, 2021 [2 favorites]

Well... he’s not wrong.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:21 AM on December 15, 2021

90 Minutes You Will Never Get Back, But You’re More or Less OK with That

The problem is that modern movies are like 130 minutes. No thank you.

Watch to the end, it's only 40 minutes of the total runtime, but what a difference it makes.
posted by otherchaz at 11:20 AM on December 15, 2021 [1 favorite]

I will be deeply disappointed if this movie doesn't at least include a cameo by Danny Pudi as Abed Nadir as Nicholas Cage.

Pedro Pascal has worked with the Community cast before, so who knows?
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:37 AM on December 15, 2021 [1 favorite]

Previously, in movies where an eccentric lead actor plays himself, JCVD

If this is 20% as interesting as JCVD, it will be worth the watch.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:09 PM on December 15, 2021

> I think he just lapped William Shatner

> I think he just jumped over a shark while riding a lapped William Shatner that was also somehow jumping over a shark and now it's just Non-Euclidean recursive jumped sharks jumping over other jumped sharks all the way down but wait maybe that's actually sideways wait no it's all the way down again.

Not only that, this movie feels like some of its bones may have come from Shatnerquake.

For the longest time, I've wanted someone to adapt DC's Silverblade (plot spoilers) into a big budget TV show, either in DC's streaming universe (where it'd fit right in with Doom Patrol and the upcoming Dead Boy Detectives spin-off) or as a Disney+ MCU show (I know it's a DC property, but The Big Two borrow story ideas from each other all the time.) I was hoping they'd cast someone like Tatiana Maslany or now Jodie Comer as a female lead, "Joan Lord" or similar. vintageCage seems an obvious fit, but I'm not sure currentCage could still care enough to do it justice.
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 12:27 PM on December 15, 2021

If you like Nick Cage being both himself, AND a hyper real meta version of himself, I highly recommend the History of Swearing a mini series currently on Netflix.

It's funny and educational.

Contains a LOT of swearing - obviously.
posted by Faintdreams at 2:01 PM on December 15, 2021

I feel like there was a vogue for Lengthy Somewhat Vague Adjectival Title in the early 00s,

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:29 PM on December 15, 2021

Don't forget Pauly Shore is Dead. Or do; I don't know, I never saw it.
posted by Saxon Kane at 3:14 PM on December 15, 2021

I just remembered that Cage has already done an involuting movie sort of like this: Adaptation. Which was great.
posted by adamrice at 2:59 PM on December 18, 2021

MALKOVICH!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:11 PM on December 18, 2021