Man steals 200,000 eggs, is caught.

February 14, 2023 11:01 AM

Mr Joby Pool, a sheep owner from Tingley, appeared in a Worcestershire court and pled guilty of stealing almost 200K of Cadbury Creme Eggs and other chocolates. Early reports stated the stash was worth almost £40K ($49K US) though this has since been mysteriously rounded down to £31K.
posted by Wordshore (33 comments total)

Oswald Copperpot would approve.
posted by Fizz at 11:06 AM on February 14, 2023 [2 favorites]

...mysteriously rounded down to £31K.
I think the price of eggs has started to go back down.
posted by MtDewd at 11:08 AM on February 14, 2023 [2 favorites]

I think I could eat enough Cadbury Creme Eggs to bring the rounding down to the mid £20Ks
posted by chavenet at 11:13 AM on February 14, 2023 [5 favorites]

This whole Cadbury Egg thing was just a smokescreen to cover another cheese heist perpetrated by Wordshore's "friend", wasn't it?
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 11:14 AM on February 14, 2023 [16 favorites]

*reads first 4 words
Hey, I wonder if Wordsho--
*oh
posted by saturday_morning at 11:15 AM on February 14, 2023 [16 favorites]

(I was initially reluctant to write this FPP. But it then occured to me that the number of times I could legitimately write a sentence beginning "Mr Joby Pool, a sheep owner from Tingley..." was probably quite low. And so here we are.)
posted by Wordshore at 11:20 AM on February 14, 2023 [31 favorites]

Years ago, there was a chocolate shop in San Jose that every Easter would feature a large chocolate rabbit in the window. One year, someone broke the window and stole the rabbit. Word was that within 24 hours, the police were searching through all the local emergency rooms looking for someone suffering from terminal acne.
posted by njohnson23 at 11:22 AM on February 14, 2023 [3 favorites]

Has anyone ever put together a list of the most X anyone has stolen in one place at one time?
posted by RonButNotStupid at 11:25 AM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

Every word of this post reads like part of Michael Palin's announcer VO in the Piranha Brothers sketch. (Switch to Terry Jones' policeman for "Early reports stated the stash was worth almost £40K ($49K US)" then back to Palin for the rest of it.)
posted by PlusDistance at 11:26 AM on February 14, 2023 [2 favorites]

Quark!
posted by clavdivs at 11:28 AM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

So much sugar. So much. I often think of a story a friend told me of a college classmate who was dared to eat 20 Cadbury creme eggs but ended up going to the campus infirmary after consuming 12.
posted by spamandkimchi at 11:30 AM on February 14, 2023 [2 favorites]

So this guy has some sheep and horses and a grinder and the ability to use it correctly, and also knows how to competently join up and drive a tractor trailer, but he’s homeless? All jokes aside, is anyone with standing in this issue thinking he might need help?
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:32 AM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

Just realised that, weirdly coincidental, that's one Cadbury Creme Egg per Front Page Post here on the blue.
posted by Wordshore at 11:35 AM on February 14, 2023 [2 favorites]

Since when are Creme Eggs less than $1 a pop? hmmm.. could be some arbitrage opportunity here
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:37 AM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

"Mr Joby Pool, a sheep owner from Tingley..."

I so hear that spoken by Rod Serling in a Twilight Zone introduction.
posted by y2karl at 11:40 AM on February 14, 2023 [6 favorites]

I thought the golden rule of Cadbury Creme Eggs was don’t get caught?
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:42 AM on February 14, 2023 [3 favorites]

dared to eat 20 Cadbury creme eggs but ended up going to the campus infirmary after consuming 12.

We could all afford to do this if we lived on Joby's street. 15.5p per creme egg valuation. I'm starting to think Joby is the hero here and Cadbury's are the true crooks.
posted by biffa at 11:42 AM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

And I miss everybody a lot, but I'm not really sorry, because they were very delicious creme eggs.
posted by credulous at 11:50 AM on February 14, 2023 [2 favorites]

I've read too much "Scottish Twitter" - I can't help seeing that name as "Mr Jobby Pool" and wondering why anyone would name their kid after a toilet.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:51 AM on February 14, 2023 [4 favorites]

Jobby Pool
clearly a moniker as there is no 'e'.
posted by clavdivs at 11:59 AM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

He would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those pesky kids.
posted by night_train at 12:14 PM on February 14, 2023 [3 favorites]

God, I looove the idea of a Cadbury creme egg. But on the rare occasion I indulge I'm left wanting. I think I expect marshmallow fluff or cream. Not that sugar paste.
posted by atomicstone at 12:59 PM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

Is that a wee creme egg floating in yon swimming pool or something darker?
posted by aeshnid at 1:13 PM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

There was a sheep owner from Tingley
Whose young wife asked him, “Please can you bring me
Some sweeties for Easter --
A carton at least or
A crateful — I don’t want them singly.”
posted by neroli at 1:20 PM on February 14, 2023 [24 favorites]

If he ate one creme egg per minute and didn't sleep or do anything else it'd take him nearly five months to eat 200,000. It's really too many creme eggs.
posted by abucci at 6:39 PM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

God, I looove the idea of a Cadbury creme egg. But on the rare occasion I indulge I'm left wanting.

Here on the Normal Island of Britain, not every Cadbury Creme Egg is eaten [alternate link].
posted by Wordshore at 7:07 PM on February 14, 2023

There's a Normal Island that's a part of Britain? I've look at atlases and can't find it....
posted by hippybear at 7:28 PM on February 14, 2023

Normal Island!
posted by Pyrogenesis at 10:35 PM on February 14, 2023 [1 favorite]

I haven't dared eat a Creme Egg since the evil overlords changed the chocolate in them from Dairy Milk to inferior milk chocolate. I have fond[ant] memories of the Creme Eggs of my youth; I'm afraid that eating one with disappointing chocolate will somehow spoil them.

Come to that, not even the wrappers are as they should be. Where's the bright, cheerful green, the vibrant blue? Where's the endearing little chick?

200,000 of them would still be a sight worth seeing, though.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 8:47 AM on February 15, 2023 [2 favorites]

200,000 would definitely be an oeuf for me!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:32 AM on February 15, 2023 [5 favorites]

I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed of myself for succumbing to temptation.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:33 AM on February 15, 2023 [2 favorites]

So I once got obsessed with how UK police forces calculate the 'street value' of stolen chocolate.

I bugged the Metropolitan Police so much about it that I think eventually they realised they either had to fake a reason to arrest me or just tell me, and luckily they opted for the latter.

It's not scientific at all. They generally just take a guess at first, by sending a few officers to find the nearest shops selling that item and note down the price. Then they average it.

If they later manage to work out where the goods were stolen from, they then get the actual retail price from there and use that.

I finally feel validated for questing hard for this information.
posted by garius at 1:48 AM on February 16, 2023 [7 favorites]

My best guess for the devaluation is that Joby made at least 9k of the eggs into a giant ball pool then jumped in and tried to eat his way out, making a real estimate of value impossible.

I may be projecting though.
posted by biffa at 4:53 AM on February 16, 2023 [1 favorite]