Welcome to Crab Fragment Cay
April 14, 2023 3:47 AM Subscribe
Internet lore tells us the story of Cheapass Games, founded by prolific gamemaker James Ernest in 1996. Their gimmick was, they printed small and cheap games, sold in small folders, that came with rules and maybe a board and cards. You would then supply all the other parts yourself: tokens, dice, play money, playing cards and other commonly-available parts that you could scavenge from other board games you might have lying around. In 2020, Ernest reentered the publishing industry with Crab Fragment Labs, offering an array of both pay-what-you-want-to-print and paid-for-physical products: card games, board games, quick-playing and easy-to-learn pub games, solitaire games and a wide assortment of the best of the old Cheapass Games, in Cheapassic Park.
Cheapass Games has long been one of those things that has made the internet a slightly nicer place to me, and I'm happy to help spread the word that James Ernest's still making new games of such a variety of types. Some other of James Ernest's designs can be purchased from Greater Than Games.
He's won lots of awards sure, but just as good as his game design skills, no one could put together a hilarious and engaging game concept like James Ernst can. Here's a very random selection from the many many games available:
In Young Jacob Marley, you're an apprentice to a Victorian-era businessman, striving to outdo the other apprentices (players) to become Marley's partner and best friend, so much later Marley's ghost will enlist the help of three spirits to save you from the behaviors that he himself taught you.
Witch Trial is about being a despicable lawyer taking advantage of the Salem witch trials in order to make bank, both prosecuting and defending suspected witches. Practicing members of the bar, please don't get your law ethics from a silly card game.
Ducks in a Bucket is a luck-pressing dice game where one of your dice is the "Boss die," distinct from the others but rolled with them. The Boss Die determines which of the other dice can be promoted to "the bucket." It's got art by John Kovalic! O< QUACK!
Before I Kill You Mr. Spy used to be named something slightly different. It's a game about supervillains who love to taunt the spy they have captured, but hates it when the spy uses that time to escape.
Give Me The Brain is a pretty darn legendary game where the players are zombies working in a fast food restaurant, who only have one brain between them. You have to empty your hand of cards, but some can only be played when embrained. It had sequels Lord of the Fries and The Great Brain Robbery.
Renfield is a trick-taking card game where each trick is a bug you've eaten, and you want the fewest with eating at least one. Meaning, if you manage to eat them all, you win because no one else got any. Consider playing this after watching a certain newly-released big-budget movie!
Bitin' Off Hedz is a game where the players play dinosaurs who race each other to jump into a volcano. An updated version is being worked on, but the original can be printed and played!
Escape From Elba is a word game in which "You're Napoleon, and so is everyone else."
Then there's Devil Bunny Needs A Ham and Devil Bunny Hates The Earth. In the first, the players are sous chefs trying to climb a building, but Devil Bunny tries to stop you in the mistaken belief that this will get him the ham he needs; in the second, the players are candy machines trying to lure innocent squirrels into them to gum up their own works to prevent Devil Bunny from making an apocalyptically(?)-unsatisfying flavor of taffy.
In US Patent No. 1, the players are inventors of time machines, from throughout history, somehow racing each other to arrive at the Patent Office on the day it originally opened in 1790.
And, of course there's Kill Doctor Lucky, which is basically Clue/Cluedo in reverse, its sequel Save Doctor Lucky, and their expansions in The Doctor Lucky Ambivalence Pack.
A few other games he made over the years are Unexploded Cow, Button Men, Brawl, Falling, Landyland, and too many others to mention.
Cheapass Games has long been one of those things that has made the internet a slightly nicer place to me, and I'm happy to help spread the word that James Ernest's still making new games of such a variety of types. Some other of James Ernest's designs can be purchased from Greater Than Games.
He's won lots of awards sure, but just as good as his game design skills, no one could put together a hilarious and engaging game concept like James Ernst can. Here's a very random selection from the many many games available:
In Young Jacob Marley, you're an apprentice to a Victorian-era businessman, striving to outdo the other apprentices (players) to become Marley's partner and best friend, so much later Marley's ghost will enlist the help of three spirits to save you from the behaviors that he himself taught you.
Witch Trial is about being a despicable lawyer taking advantage of the Salem witch trials in order to make bank, both prosecuting and defending suspected witches. Practicing members of the bar, please don't get your law ethics from a silly card game.
Ducks in a Bucket is a luck-pressing dice game where one of your dice is the "Boss die," distinct from the others but rolled with them. The Boss Die determines which of the other dice can be promoted to "the bucket." It's got art by John Kovalic! O< QUACK!
Before I Kill You Mr. Spy used to be named something slightly different. It's a game about supervillains who love to taunt the spy they have captured, but hates it when the spy uses that time to escape.
Give Me The Brain is a pretty darn legendary game where the players are zombies working in a fast food restaurant, who only have one brain between them. You have to empty your hand of cards, but some can only be played when embrained. It had sequels Lord of the Fries and The Great Brain Robbery.
Renfield is a trick-taking card game where each trick is a bug you've eaten, and you want the fewest with eating at least one. Meaning, if you manage to eat them all, you win because no one else got any. Consider playing this after watching a certain newly-released big-budget movie!
Bitin' Off Hedz is a game where the players play dinosaurs who race each other to jump into a volcano. An updated version is being worked on, but the original can be printed and played!
Escape From Elba is a word game in which "You're Napoleon, and so is everyone else."
Then there's Devil Bunny Needs A Ham and Devil Bunny Hates The Earth. In the first, the players are sous chefs trying to climb a building, but Devil Bunny tries to stop you in the mistaken belief that this will get him the ham he needs; in the second, the players are candy machines trying to lure innocent squirrels into them to gum up their own works to prevent Devil Bunny from making an apocalyptically(?)-unsatisfying flavor of taffy.
In US Patent No. 1, the players are inventors of time machines, from throughout history, somehow racing each other to arrive at the Patent Office on the day it originally opened in 1790.
And, of course there's Kill Doctor Lucky, which is basically Clue/Cluedo in reverse, its sequel Save Doctor Lucky, and their expansions in The Doctor Lucky Ambivalence Pack.
A few other games he made over the years are Unexploded Cow, Button Men, Brawl, Falling, Landyland, and too many others to mention.
This post just makes me happy. I played so much Lord of the Fries around a styrofoam plate of fries in the cafe in undergrad. We joked with our friend who worked there that they needed cod pieces on the menu for completeness's sake. Kill Doctor Lucky was a dorm hallway game and we'd stick the board together with sticky notes on the back, which I believe was a recommended technique.
I've realized that my niblings need to endure at least one afternoon of these games with me.
posted by cobaltnine at 5:45 AM on April 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
I've realized that my niblings need to endure at least one afternoon of these games with me.
posted by cobaltnine at 5:45 AM on April 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
Much like Onion articles are basically about the headline, the premise of Cheapass games was sometimes better than the game itself. Devil Bunny Needs a Ham is one example, for me anyway. Some of them, I can't even remember how the game worked, but I still recall the premise fondly.
Perhaps my favorite of all these was Bleeding Sherwood, in which you are an itinerant salesman of cheap crap who has noticed that Robin Hood has created a market full of unsophisticated peasants with a lot of new disposable income that they don't really know what to do with. You go around selling them junk to extract this wealth from them and try to avoid Robin Hood who will rob you if he catches you and give your money back to the peasants to enforce his impractical wealth redistribution scheme.
posted by Naberius at 6:00 AM on April 14, 2023 [10 favorites]
Perhaps my favorite of all these was Bleeding Sherwood, in which you are an itinerant salesman of cheap crap who has noticed that Robin Hood has created a market full of unsophisticated peasants with a lot of new disposable income that they don't really know what to do with. You go around selling them junk to extract this wealth from them and try to avoid Robin Hood who will rob you if he catches you and give your money back to the peasants to enforce his impractical wealth redistribution scheme.
posted by Naberius at 6:00 AM on April 14, 2023 [10 favorites]
Yay Cheapass games. Witty and fun.
posted by rmd1023 at 7:15 AM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by rmd1023 at 7:15 AM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
My email sig in grad school pulled randomly from a file that was 90% quotes from Captain Park's Imaginary Polar Expedition, about an adventuring gentleman who gathers fake evidence to bolster the claim that he lead an expedition to the South Pole.
In retrospect, it's a hilarious sendup of colonialism.
You can download a print-and-play version on the page linked above for free, and enjoy the cards.
For vocational reasons, my favorite is still
FACT: POLARIS IS USELESS.
Stupid north star. Stupid equator.
posted by BrashTech at 7:39 AM on April 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
In retrospect, it's a hilarious sendup of colonialism.
You can download a print-and-play version on the page linked above for free, and enjoy the cards.
For vocational reasons, my favorite is still
FACT: POLARIS IS USELESS.
Stupid north star. Stupid equator.
posted by BrashTech at 7:39 AM on April 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
My favorite cheapass game is Veritas, a game where the players are different religious texts trying to become dominant in medieval Europe by being carried around and copied by monasteries. The monasteries occasionally burn down, leading to the sudden redistribution of books around the countryside. It's great
posted by kaibutsu at 7:52 AM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by kaibutsu at 7:52 AM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
I remember these so fondly! Even if, as Naberius says, the names are mostly what I remember. My friends and I definitely had a big time playing Kill Mr. Lucky, even more so than Clue. But I really wanted to play a game of Give Me the Brain, and for some reason it never happened.
(I talk about this like getting together enough goofy friends for a board game is in the past. Alas!)
posted by Countess Elena at 8:19 AM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
(I talk about this like getting together enough goofy friends for a board game is in the past. Alas!)
posted by Countess Elena at 8:19 AM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
My name is on the box for the kickstarter reprint of Unexploded Cow (in something like size 3 font, but still)!
One of my favorite strategies is to give cows to the player to your right, which they have to pay to put into their field, and then play the card that rotates all the herds to the left. They nerfed it a bit in the reprint, but it's still OP.
posted by Baxx_24 at 9:09 AM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
One of my favorite strategies is to give cows to the player to your right, which they have to pay to put into their field, and then play the card that rotates all the herds to the left. They nerfed it a bit in the reprint, but it's still OP.
posted by Baxx_24 at 9:09 AM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
I ordered a bunch of these back last century and had a lot of fun, although I think that a lot of these games work better thematically than mechanically. The settings and little amusing touches are what make some of these memorable rather than the games actually being that interesting to play by themselves.
That said, are some real gems - I particularity liked Light Speed for 30 seconds of silly fun followed by 10 minutes arguing over who won.
posted by AndrewStephens at 10:15 AM on April 14, 2023
That said, are some real gems - I particularity liked Light Speed for 30 seconds of silly fun followed by 10 minutes arguing over who won.
posted by AndrewStephens at 10:15 AM on April 14, 2023
Maybe the next time my D&D game falls apart for scheduling reasons again (last week it fell apart because we had a death in the family) we can dig out the Cheapass games instead. Thanks for this reminder to get them out and play them.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:06 AM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by gentlyepigrams at 11:06 AM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
I've been a big Cheapass fan over the past few decades, and bought several editions of Kill Doctor Lucky, ranging from the bare-bones original in an envelope to the full-color deluxe. I'm glad to learn that James Ernst is still, shall we say...in the game.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:06 PM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:06 PM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
These sound pretty fantastic. I don't suppose there is a "best of" rulebook and equipment box?
posted by rebent at 12:20 PM on April 14, 2023
posted by rebent at 12:20 PM on April 14, 2023
As a thrifter, I always buy the white box/folder ones when I see them and they are cheap. My BGG collection only shows like 9 or so owned, which seems incorrect. Just got Witch Trial 3 weeks ago. Not sure I've ever played any of my Cheapass Games. EDIT: I played Brawl with my kids back in the day. They are all thematically clever. Maybe not so much game-mechanics wise.
Still, rock on James. Keep doing what you are doing.
posted by Windopaene at 4:51 PM on April 14, 2023
Still, rock on James. Keep doing what you are doing.
posted by Windopaene at 4:51 PM on April 14, 2023
I have (and played) many of the earlier ones. The benefits of working in a game store….
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:09 PM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:09 PM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
We played a good amount of Before I Kill You, Mr. Bond, Get Out, and Kill Doctor Lucky in the late 90s in the in the (first attempt at) college game club. They'd often get pulled out when there wasn't enough time for everyone to commit to Castle of Magic.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:40 PM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:40 PM on April 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
I love seeing so many long-standing MeFi members here. We've been here a long time, haven't we.
posted by JHarris at 10:28 PM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 10:28 PM on April 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
If you have Spotify, you may enjoy listening to The Cheapass Album by Beatnik Turtle, a collection of songs about Cheapass Games.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 12:53 AM on April 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 12:53 AM on April 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
!! That's awesome!
posted by JHarris at 1:08 AM on April 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 1:08 AM on April 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
You have taken me back to 20+ years ago, and the shop Games of Berkeley, and silly times with people I have long fallen out of touch with.
I did not realize that James Ernest also worked on Girl Genius: The Works!
Fascinating articles and blog posts on his site, such as this one about selling a casino game.
posted by brainwane at 2:58 AM on April 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
I did not realize that James Ernest also worked on Girl Genius: The Works!
Fascinating articles and blog posts on his site, such as this one about selling a casino game.
posted by brainwane at 2:58 AM on April 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
« Older Household Formation Is Destiny | Rehydrated Ganondorf can’t quench your thirst Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Mogur at 5:29 AM on April 14, 2023