Nine of the Weirdest Penises in the Animal Kingdom
January 27, 2024 10:11 PM Subscribe
Nine of the Weirdest Penises in the Animal Kingdom (Smithsonian magazine).
"Sometimes one just isn’t enough. Or so it seems for the echidna, a spiny egg-laying mammal, which has evolved a four-headed penis. During copulation, echidna penises operate on a part-time schedule: half the penis temporarily shuts down while the other two heads are responsible for fertilization. But those extra two heads aren’t there just to show off. Next time the echidna mates, he’ll alternate which half he uses.
By shutting down half of their penis at a time, male echidnas fit perfectly with the female’s two-branched reproductive tract. "
"Sometimes one just isn’t enough. Or so it seems for the echidna, a spiny egg-laying mammal, which has evolved a four-headed penis. During copulation, echidna penises operate on a part-time schedule: half the penis temporarily shuts down while the other two heads are responsible for fertilization. But those extra two heads aren’t there just to show off. Next time the echidna mates, he’ll alternate which half he uses.
By shutting down half of their penis at a time, male echidnas fit perfectly with the female’s two-branched reproductive tract. "
By shutting down half of their penis at a time, male echidnas fit perfectly with the female’s two-branched reproductive tract.
I've just been reading a hardware manual for an old computer, and this synchronizes with that information strangely. "Maybe it's a timing issue? Each half expects full access to the address bus, so one half has access while the enable line is low, and the other half when it's high."
posted by JHarris at 10:44 PM on January 27 [8 favorites]
I've just been reading a hardware manual for an old computer, and this synchronizes with that information strangely. "Maybe it's a timing issue? Each half expects full access to the address bus, so one half has access while the enable line is low, and the other half when it's high."
posted by JHarris at 10:44 PM on January 27 [8 favorites]
Also, I'm surprised that ducks weren't mentioned.
posted by JHarris at 10:46 PM on January 27 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 10:46 PM on January 27 [1 favorite]
a four-headed penis? I don't believe it, sounds to me like a cock-and-bull story.
posted by airing nerdy laundry at 11:40 PM on January 27 [1 favorite]
posted by airing nerdy laundry at 11:40 PM on January 27 [1 favorite]
Came for the baculum [from Odobenus rosmarus with Batman for scale]. . . am disappoint.
More at The Icelandic Phallological Museum. whc MetaPrev
posted by BobTheScientist at 12:25 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
More at The Icelandic Phallological Museum. whc MetaPrev
posted by BobTheScientist at 12:25 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
QFT: “There's not a binary that is categorically one thing or the other when it comes to genitalia”
posted by chavenet at 2:13 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
posted by chavenet at 2:13 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
"Sometimes one just isn’t enough. Or so it seems for the echidna, a spiny egg-laying mammal, which has evolved a four-headed penis. During copulation, echidna penises operate on a part-time schedule: half the penis temporarily shuts down while the other two heads are responsible for fertilization. But those extra two heads aren’t there just to show off. Next time the echidna mates, he’ll alternate which half he uses.
.
There was a short story published in either one of the Dangerous Visions anthologies or a similar book back in the '70s or maybe early '80s -- part of that wave of sci-fi that took an experimental and drug-addled turn and dabbled in being shocking, that lasted for just a few minutes before the genre went back to the norm. In my recollection, the story featured a return of Jesus (or maybe a Jesus/Devil combo character?) , but who had two dicks and obviously the story went in the direction of him using them. I read this as a 12-year old, or maybe a bit younger, and it definitely boggled my mind at the time.
So learning that there is a natural analog that is even weirder is cool, and 12-year old me would have loved this.
posted by Dip Flash at 2:57 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
.
There was a short story published in either one of the Dangerous Visions anthologies or a similar book back in the '70s or maybe early '80s -- part of that wave of sci-fi that took an experimental and drug-addled turn and dabbled in being shocking, that lasted for just a few minutes before the genre went back to the norm. In my recollection, the story featured a return of Jesus (or maybe a Jesus/Devil combo character?) , but who had two dicks and obviously the story went in the direction of him using them. I read this as a 12-year old, or maybe a bit younger, and it definitely boggled my mind at the time.
So learning that there is a natural analog that is even weirder is cool, and 12-year old me would have loved this.
posted by Dip Flash at 2:57 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
OK, but you have to be wondering why dicks are so complicated.
And here's your answer in another Smithsonian article: Why Have Female Animals Evolved Such Wild Genitals?
And here's your answer in another Smithsonian article: Why Have Female Animals Evolved Such Wild Genitals?
Whatever the females were doing, they were succeeding. In ducks, only 2 to 5 percent of offspring are the result of forced encounters. The more aggressive and better endowed the male, the longer and more complex the female reproductive tract became to evade it. “When you dissected one of the birds, it was really easy to predict what the other sex was going to look like,” Brennan told the New York Times. It was a struggle for reproductive control, not bodily autonomy: Although a female couldn’t avoid physical harm, her anatomy could help her gain control over the genes of her offspring after a forced mating.posted by pracowity at 4:06 AM on January 28 [7 favorites]
The duck vagina, Brennan realized, was hardly the passive, simple structure that biologists had made it out to be. In fact, it was an expertly rigged penis-rejection machine.
Was hoping for more pictures.
posted by kinnakeet at 4:48 AM on January 28 [4 favorites]
posted by kinnakeet at 4:48 AM on January 28 [4 favorites]
For those who don't have the time to click through:
Echidna
Dolphin
Flatworm
Blue Whale
Barnacle
Bed Bug
Gary
Sea Slug
Leopard Slug
posted by logicpunk at 5:09 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
Echidna
Dolphin
Flatworm
Blue Whale
Barnacle
Bed Bug
Gary
Sea Slug
Leopard Slug
posted by logicpunk at 5:09 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
I was kind of hoping to see "Gary Busey."
posted by delfin at 5:15 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
posted by delfin at 5:15 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
Having Gary on this list puts us squarely in Far Side country.
posted by swift at 7:11 AM on January 28 [2 favorites]
posted by swift at 7:11 AM on January 28 [2 favorites]
Strictly speaking, of that list, only echidnas, dolphins and blue whales have penises in the sense that humans do. And a list of weird penises that doesn't have the human one in the #1 spot is no list of weird penises at all.
The organs of intromission of animals other than mammals are not proper penises. You'd think that it's a bit of hardware important enough to be common to, if not all tetrapods, at least multiple classes among them, but no.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 7:21 AM on January 28
The organs of intromission of animals other than mammals are not proper penises. You'd think that it's a bit of hardware important enough to be common to, if not all tetrapods, at least multiple classes among them, but no.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 7:21 AM on January 28
expertly rigged penis-rejection machine.
If they weren't such adick duck about it, it wouldn't have to be this way.
posted by BlueHorse at 7:59 AM on January 28
If they weren't such a
posted by BlueHorse at 7:59 AM on January 28
[Checks to make sure my ex didn't write this]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:30 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:30 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
The organs of intromission of animals other than mammals are not proper penises.
Exactly the kind of gatekeeping I'd expect from someone named Aardvark Cheeselog.
posted by swift at 10:12 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
Exactly the kind of gatekeeping I'd expect from someone named Aardvark Cheeselog.
posted by swift at 10:12 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
☑️ I'm in this post and I don't like it.
posted by brundlefly at 10:37 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
posted by brundlefly at 10:37 AM on January 28 [1 favorite]
Then there's the cave insect Neotrogla species, where it's the females that have evolved a long penis-ish organ, and who have "adapted to become more aggressive, pro-active, and effective sperm-hunters."
Neotrogla indulges in 40- to 70-hour-long sex sessions whereby the female mounts the male, inserts her penis-like structure (known as a gynosome) into his vagina-like genitalia. The female’s gynosome also curls round inside the male and locks them together. Researchers have actually tried to pull mating pairs apart, only to snap the male’s body in two pieces because the connection is strong.posted by Kabanos at 11:01 AM on January 28 [2 favorites]
Nudebranchs represent! "are hermaphrodites and fertilize each other simultaneously during sex. After sex, they shed their single-use penis they have at least two more disposable penis segments hidden away. As soon as 24 hours later, the slug will be back in action."
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:42 PM on January 28
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:42 PM on January 28
humblebraggiest
posted by away for regrooving at 10:39 PM on January 28
posted by away for regrooving at 10:39 PM on January 28
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