We Need To Talk About Grilled Cheeze

April 14, 2024 4:44 PM

56 Cheeses, 56 Grilled Cheeses: Which One is Best? [25m] sounds like a stunt post from some random YouTuber, but it's actually from Epicurious, and is by a professional cheesemonger. It's more educational and entertaining than you might expect when you first start.
posted by hippybear (52 comments total)

OMG how did I misspell the headline???

I don't know whether to ask for it to be fixed or let it stand.
posted by hippybear at 4:47 PM on April 14 [9 favorites]

Cheeeeeezzzzzeee pleazzzzeeee
posted by supermedusa at 4:52 PM on April 14 [3 favorites]

You could ask for it to be fixed, but there's a certain delight to spelling it "grilled cheeze," like it was meant to be.
posted by JHarris at 4:57 PM on April 14 [4 favorites]

Personally I appreciate the implication that the winner was Cheez Whiz sprayed directly onto toast
posted by dick dale the vampire at 5:08 PM on April 14 [9 favorites]

if you only have ten seconds, I liked the yelling about Gruyere cows hanging out on a mountain
posted by radagast at 5:18 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

1. I'm glad he starts out being negative about both American "cheese" and Velveeta. 🤮 Encouraged enough to continue watching.

2. The porn music that starts up during the impressive Gruyere cheese pull was a nice touch.

3. I would hope that, as a cheese-monger, he is well aware that halloumi and paneer are meant to be fried, not melted, and is just being a completist without expecting those two to be viable in a grilled -cheese- cheeze situation.

4. I like his enthusiasm and presentation!

5. (#56 Nacho cheese sauce) TBH I didn't need the Joker-like cheese bits in the beard.

6. Did not expect Parmigiano-Reggiano to have worked so well in a grilled-cheese context!

7. I'm still a major fan of cheddar (sharp or even extra sharp). But I'm eager to try some of his other top choices.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:34 PM on April 14

My go to will always be American cheddar slices, not wrapped individually though...put on Wonder bread and buttered well. Pan fried in my skillet. A bit of ballpark mustard is all it needs. I'm a cheap date!
posted by Czjewel at 5:39 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

I think the cheeses were chosen for him; at one point he says, why are you guys making me do this one? Because yeah, so many of these cheeses made no sense to try and make grilled cheese out of. He’s a cheesemonger; he’d know that halloumi is not going to work in a grilled cheese.

I was surprised that the Roquefort worked so well! And that the Brie and Camembert had such different results. I also thought he must have used a very mild cheddar; I like medium cheddar in a grilled cheese (old cheddar tastes good but is too oily).

I figured the cheese in the beard was the camera crew’s joke on him (not telling him he had cheese on his face while filming) and they just left it in.

Oh, the provolone. I really felt for him at that point. And if you watch all the way to the end he talks about how his stomach feels after eating all that grilled cheese. I was hoping for his sake he only had a bite of each one (though that’s wasteful). Then I realized even 56 bites of grilled cheese would be Too Much. Were it me, I’d have filmed this over 56 days! But then I guess that’s why this video does not feature me but rather this fellow.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:49 PM on April 14 [2 favorites]

I kind of wanted to see Provel in there (another non-cheese, don't confuse it even with American provolone).

I have now lived in St. Louis for almost 30 years and I still don't understand why people eat the stuff at all, much less base an entire pizza on it.
posted by Foosnark at 5:54 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

I will defend decent American cheese for melty purposes until I no longer draw breath. I'm not talking about individually wrapped Kraft singles, I'm talking about Boar's Head American cheese or similar sliced at the deli. American cheese gets a bad rap from the individually wrapped crap.
posted by mollweide at 6:08 PM on April 14 [8 favorites]

I mean, he should know better.
posted by mollweide at 6:09 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

American cheese is kind of nasty, yet it melts very well, meaning that for certain specialized eating purposes (e.g., hangover) it makes a very good grilled cheese sandwich.
posted by praemunire at 6:11 PM on April 14

I do have to say, I'm a fan of combining cheeses to get, say, a good flavor combined with a nice melt profile. In more extreme modes this might involve shredding and mixing to attempt a quality thorough mixing but really if it's just two types often just one slice of each layered works great. Put the melty cheese on the side that will be on top last, so it's melting down into its reluctant neighbor and not just down and out the sides.
posted by hippybear at 6:13 PM on April 14 [5 favorites]

I admit, when I'm making a sandwich with lunchmeat, I don't reach for American cheese, even though I make toasted sandwiches by default. A good, sharp, preferably multi-year aged cheddar is better there, But when I'm making cheesy scrambled eggs, or, even better, a pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwich (if you please), I'm reaching for a decent American cheese.
posted by mollweide at 6:19 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

his sole knock against muenster (the best trivially-available cheese for grilled cheese, IMO) is that it's pasteurized? GTentireFO of the chat, bro.
posted by genehack at 6:34 PM on April 14 [2 favorites]

I generally go with four cheeses:

A stretchy melty cheese (emmentaler, gruyere, or fontina)

A blue cheese (lots of great ones to choose from. Bayley Hazen Blue? Stilton?)

A sharp cheddar

Parmigiano Reggiano

Also I use freaking thick chonky slices of bread. Mmmmm.

posted by aubilenon at 6:37 PM on April 14 [5 favorites]

(old cheddar tastes good but is too oily)

Honestly I've never had trouble getting sharp cheddar to be melty and not oily; I have no idea what I'm doing that's different from all the objectors.

Also I just cannot comprehend some people's preference for the single-note melty flavorlessness of American cheese. I will die a hundred times over on this hill (while making grilled cheese sandwiches with far more interesting and flavorful cheeses).
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:15 PM on April 14 [3 favorites]

As a big turophile, I'm excited about all this talk about excellent cheeses (and other cheese too!), but I have to say I think a grilled cheese that gets the bread right and uses mediocre cheese is a better sandwich than one that uses the best cheese but flubs the bread. Obviously the best sandwich will excel at both categories.
posted by aubilenon at 7:37 PM on April 14 [3 favorites]

3 cheeses - one melty, one funky, one salty
bread grilled on both sides, inside first then flip and add the cheese

eazy cheezy

and it's usually even better with a nice jam/jelly/compote
posted by djseafood at 7:57 PM on April 14

And can I just say, the way he bites into the middle of every single grilled cheese like some kind of cartoon character is infuriating to me! Do people eat sandwiches this way? I always start from a corner!
posted by hippybear at 8:01 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

That was fun...

Now I want a grilled cheeze.

All we have is Muenster and Cheddar though... (Better, sharper Cheddar than he seems to be working with though)
posted by Windopaene at 8:20 PM on April 14

bread grilled on both sides, inside first then flip and add the cheese

I did try this, after reading about it somewhere, under the premise that more crispy browning is more betterer, but it turns out prefer the bread in the middle to be soft and let the cheese soak in. And it's more work!
posted by aubilenon at 8:23 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

Ok but with sodium citrate you combine the flavour of any fancy cheese with the meltability of American.
posted by juv3nal at 8:36 PM on April 14 [7 favorites]

Sure, sure, but when I want a grilled cheese, I want to flash back to what I've known in my bones since I first made one at 5 years old.

There are two places where American cheese is a perfectly good solution - grilled cheese and the diner cheeseburger
posted by drewbage1847 at 8:41 PM on April 14 [6 favorites]

I was watching this while doing dishes tonight and reporting back to my wife with interesting bits. When I told her about how well Camembert worked (as opposed to the Brie, which was surprising) she told me that the absolutely amazing garlic bread that she had made two nights ago was with Camembert. And yeah, it looked just about exactly like what he showed on camera here.

Y'all, I highly recommend it. With or without the garlic, even.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:56 PM on April 14

But did he make them with an iron?
posted by latkes at 9:11 PM on April 14

I'm not going to read that article, because if there's is anything besides bread and cheese (and maybe a condiment) involved in any of those grilled cheese sandwiches, I am going to fucking lose my shit.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 9:13 PM on April 14 [1 favorite]

I can assure you that 1) you can't read it because it's a video, and 2) he uses nothing but white bread and butter and cheese for each of his sandwiches. This video is about how well different cheeses grill, and about nothing else.
posted by hippybear at 9:15 PM on April 14 [3 favorites]

because if there's is anything besides bread and cheese (and maybe a condiment) involved in any of those grilled cheese sandwiches, I am going to fucking lose my shit.

There is butter, and some of the so-called cheeses have peppers or herbs or sodium citrate or whatever in them.
posted by aubilenon at 9:15 PM on April 14

The basic melted cheese sandwich with no oil or butter. It's fast, has fewer calories, and satisfies the gooey cheese craving --

Toast two slices of white bread, or use any slices of bread that can brown in a toaster or air fryer.
Put on a microwave-safe plate, no condiments.
Add a slice of Kraft American cheese onto each portion, or add the cheese you prefer.
Microwave for 20 seconds on level 5 (medium) and turn off when the cheese edges start to bubble. Repeat as necessary.
Slap together and cautiously enjoy. The cheese is very runny and can burn your fingers, lips and tongue if you are not careful.

Alternatives --
Try adding whatever you normally like on a burger or pizza.
Add dill pickles before nuking or serve on the side.
Thin slices of onion are also good. Caramelized onion is worth the effort.
A tiny smear of mayo or mustard on one slice of toasted bread works well. This side will have cheese squeezing off the edges.
Don't forget the tomato soup for dipping.
posted by TrishaU at 12:13 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Oh wow. Too awesome. I can't watch it all now but this guy gets it. Just the facts, simple opinion of each one, lotsa cheese science, we all win. Why can't cooking shows be more like this??
posted by zardoz at 1:24 AM on April 15

The provolone 😭

Personally I'm not really a grilled cheese eater -- greasy sandwich-outside is an absolute nightmare for me -- but I do like good-melting cheeses, and I really love blue cheeses. Maybe Roquefort and Gruyere would be a winning combination.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:24 AM on April 15

I'm not going to read that article, because if there's is anything besides bread and cheese (and maybe a condiment) involved in any of those grilled cheese sandwiches, I am going to fucking lose my shit.

Yeah, it's just the cheeses (with butter and standard bread for grilling them). He makes this point pretty clear when he gets to Pepper Jack, since he was pretty snobbish about Monterrey Jack melting well but not having enough flavor for him, and makes the point that Pepper Jack is just Monterrey Jack but with, you know, peppers in it, and that any good melting cheese that lacks in flavor is going to pop a lot more if you add extra ingredients that bring the acidity. So he gives Pepper Jack pretty high marks for making a good grilled cheese, but clearly also thinks it's basically cheating here.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:24 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]

I was gratified that he stuck to the proper bread=and-cheese formula and didn't add any contaminants. I had to stop about halfway thru because it was 4am and I had to get some sleep, but what I did watch was quite entertaining.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 7:12 AM on April 15

The basic melted cheese sandwich with no oil or butter. It's fast, has fewer calories, and satisfies the gooey cheese craving --

If you don't care about the starch's texture, just wrap a few thin slices of cheese in a flour tortilla (or, if you're feeling ultra-fancy, shred the block directly into the tortilla) and nuke it in the microwave for approx. 30 seconds. These "quesadillas," prepared with government cheese, were a staple of my childhood.
posted by praemunire at 8:00 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Wait, I just learned about spreading mayo on the outside of the bread instead of butter.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 8:15 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]

This post is fantastic.

The following will upset the purists (and I love me a white-bread-American-cheese original) but if you're into "twists on a classic" and live in / are visiting the US Pacific Northwest, please try the kimchi grilled cheese at Beecher's. It's transcendent. After having eaten one, I feel like I have a mandate from above to make sure that everyone is aware that they also could eat one of these sandwiches and experience a similar level of joy.
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 8:32 AM on April 15 [1 favorite]

And if you make it to Cincinnati, the Short Rib Grilled Cheese at Dutch's is also pretty amazing.

At home, thinly sliced raw shallots mixed in with the cheese is a nice simple upgrade.
posted by mmascolino at 8:55 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]

Do Americans tend to eat grilled cheese only as a closed sandwich, rather than as an open sandwich (which is common in the UK)?
posted by biffa at 9:21 AM on April 15

Wait, I just learned about spreading mayo on the outside of the bread instead of butter.

And now you can forget it, because it's greasier and less flavorful than butter.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:32 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]

yeah, it's rare for it to be a cheese toast sorta thing.

The absolutely bog standard grilled cheese that we learn from toddlerhood is 2 slices of white bread, buttered on the outside, sandwiched around X number of American cheese slices unwrapped from the plastic and the griddled in a pan. Flip as needed. Cut into triangles and try not to burn yourself on hot American cheese.

The classic pairing would be that and a thing of Campbell's Tomato soup for dipping. When my wife is feeling "meh" or sick, 9 times out of 10, this pairing will bring her out of her funk for a bit. It's childhood in a plate and bowl.

You have some purists that declaim that adding anything else to the sandwich creates a "melt" situation.

You have the snobs who eschew the American cheese tradition despite it being engineered as a melting cheese.

You have heathens who swear by the use of mayo instead of butter as your frying fat, but they've never learned to keep butter on the counter and/or hate the joyous taste of butter.

You also have the Order of the Splotchy Grilled Cheese who insist that it's perfectly valid to add the butter to the pan instead of the bread, ignoring the semi-splotchy appearance of said grilled cheese that also misses the flavor of the butter that melts into the bread.

(all of this should be read with tongue firmly planted in cheek as I'm the guy who adds onion and mixes American cheese with other cheeses to make for a better flavor and melting situation)
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:33 AM on April 15 [4 favorites]

Since cheese toast is hard to eat neatly with the fingers, it doesn't work so well for the American looking for a sandwich to nosh while at the keyboard, for instance.
posted by praemunire at 9:35 AM on April 15

yes, I do think the American desire to eat "wherever" is what keeps cheese toast from truly happening here. Although honestly, grilled cheese eating and then mouse use and keyboard use don't really mix that well in my mind or experience.
posted by hippybear at 4:26 PM on April 15

The One Trick that I forgot to mention --
Nuke the open toasted bread and cheese, then just fold the bread over hot dog-style. This way one long side stays closed and keeps some gooey goodness inside.
Seconding praemunire on using flatbreads or flour tortillas instead of toast, but at this point I add shredded chicken (roasted) or refried beans, plus any diced vegetables on hand.
posted by TrishaU at 8:09 PM on April 15

But surely using a flatbread or a flour tortilla makes it a quesadilla and not a grilled cheese.
posted by hippybear at 8:20 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Arguably, yes, but if your desire is simply to use a starch to convey gooey melted cheese to your mouth, it does the trick. Nuking toasted bread will kill much of the texture, so I would say if you're doing that, at that point you might as well go quesadillish.
posted by praemunire at 8:54 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Oh god if this turns into another "is it a sandwich" debate I'm out
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:55 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

I started to say bring out the hot dog buns and weiners... chili cheese hot dogs, yum....
posted by TrishaU at 10:30 PM on April 15

Cherry Glazerr sings about Grilled Cheese
posted by phigmov at 11:27 AM on April 16

If you are really going grilled cheese, you gotta go hardcore and make a Grilled Cheese Cheesewich.

I made this once.

It was fucking glorious.
posted by fimbulvetr at 11:35 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

Halloumi also works great as the bread in your grilled cheese cheesewich, and is easier to find than Wisconsin Bread Cheese or Juustoleipa .
posted by fimbulvetr at 11:39 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

It's great to see this post here! If you are into cheese, and especially if you are also in NYC, you should know about the Cheesemonger Invitational (website, NYT feature gift link). It's a unique event, sort of a combination warehouse rave, cheese trade show/festival, and staged reality-show competition. It is produced by Adam, the fine fellow featured in this video. OMG there is so much astounding cheese to eat. It's a blast.

[Disclaimer: I also work on this event, and hope the delicious content will excuse the self-link]
posted by hovey at 8:15 AM on April 17 [2 favorites]