Troy is hurting now
February 6, 2007 5:32 PM   Subscribe

Be your own video game hero! Troy Hurtubise, the undisputed master of the bear-proof suit (among other things) has failed to find a buyer for its latest incarnation, and is selling the prototype on eBay.
posted by flabdablet (27 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Bollocks. "other" was supposed to point here.
posted by flabdablet at 5:34 PM on February 6, 2007

A pair of bollocks! There was supposed to be a link to the eBay auction in there too.
posted by flabdablet at 5:37 PM on February 6, 2007

Heh, Trojan. I guess that's his homage to Master Chief being a Spartan, but when I hear that name, I think of a different kind of protection...
posted by quin at 5:42 PM on February 6, 2007

I love this guy. Thanks for the info flabdablet.
posted by vronsky at 5:47 PM on February 6, 2007

I can think of someone who'd be interested in a bear proof suit.
posted by fleetmouse at 5:48 PM on February 6, 2007

I can think of someone who'd be interested in a bear proof suit.

So can I! couldn't find the onion link
posted by grobstein at 5:56 PM on February 6, 2007

Heh, that's a perfect parody, grobstein. All it's missing is a line about how it was raining that day but the drizzle couldn't dampen the zoogoers' enthusiasm.

BTW I love Troy Hurtubise. He should be declared a Canadian national treasure. He's ten times more interesting and amusing than some of the dreck that gets funding from the CBC. Like the air farce, eugh.
posted by fleetmouse at 6:18 PM on February 6, 2007

Wow. I'd forgotten about his haircut.
posted by bob sarabia at 6:22 PM on February 6, 2007

Fuck. I've been a fan of his for YEARS. I'm SO tempted.
posted by unSane at 6:29 PM on February 6, 2007

Was his fire paste debunked? I don't understand why it wouldn't have taken off otherwise.
posted by dobbs at 6:40 PM on February 6, 2007

If only Timothy Treadwell had seen this.
posted by vronsky at 7:15 PM on February 6, 2007

Hurtubise sounds like some kind of roaming animal.

Once plentiful, the wild hurtubise was nearly hunted to extinction around the time of the US Civil War. Fortunately, their numbers have since rebounded, and area sportsmen once again speak of hunting the hurtubise for food. Out west, the hurtubise is seen as a pest species, as they have experienced rampant overpopulation in recent decades. Although the debate is ongoing, most scientists agree that this population boom has largely been caused by the elimination of their only natural predator, the grizzly bear. Hurtubise steak is lean and tender if somewhat gamy, and is best when served with haricots vert and your favorite beige pudding.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:12 PM on February 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

dobbs, I've been wondering the same thing. Those demonstrations for the Discovery Channel (I think) were pretty intense.

That said, I can think of someone who might have a passing interest...
posted by greatgefilte at 8:15 PM on February 6, 2007

greatgefilte, that link was fucked. thanks for that.
posted by dobbs at 8:41 PM on February 6, 2007

Dude, his neck is totally unprotected. And did he just add bulges, protrusions and different-colored bits randomly over the surface?

Still, cool as hell.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:40 PM on February 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

His 2.0 suit, when it first got 'round the 'web had me really excited. Too bad he hasn't any commercial interest in it.

Traditionally, plate armour was about deflecting rather than enduring... I wonder how well temporary deformative armor would fare ie., stuff that takes energy from a blow, than releases it slowly). [especially against stuff like bullets]
posted by porpoise at 10:12 PM on February 6, 2007

There was just an episode of Futureweapons on Discovery a week or so ago that addressed your question porpoise. It's more like scale mail. (or more specifically, Dragon Scale (crappy forum, sorry.) but the tests they performed were nothing short of impressive.

Hate the show host. Love the topics.
posted by quin at 11:00 PM on February 6, 2007

eBay item description:
...Some of the Trojans key features are ... a voice activated pedometer...

Could I order one activated by walking?
posted by pkingdesign at 11:58 PM on February 6, 2007

Eh, I get that the guy is much admired, but does anyone else think that the plan for the Trojan seems a bit daft? I mean, the article didn't mention how much research he put into potential buyers and what they actually want so perhaps I'm barking up the wrong tree, but I can't see "some military" ordering a bunch of these.
posted by dreamsign at 12:40 AM on February 7, 2007

I think that's kind of the point, dreamsign.
posted by cell divide at 1:05 AM on February 7, 2007

Ah forgive me. Long day and it's 8 degrees Celcius in this room. My sarcasm meter is frozen on zero.
posted by dreamsign at 1:23 AM on February 7, 2007

Remember the episode of The Simpsons where Homer's brother hires Homer to design a car and he comes up with a ridiculous combination of features that turn the car into an overdone future-retro monstrosity with a huge cost and absolutely no target market?

For some reason this reminds me of that.

(I still want the car, though.)
posted by mmoncur at 2:49 AM on February 7, 2007

Even if this worked, I don't think America would ever be willing to dress its soldiers up like storm troopers.
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:39 AM on February 7, 2007

Dunno, they put berets on them.
posted by exogenous at 7:01 AM on February 7, 2007

God bless Troy, if only because he follows his wild-assed dreams. Also, his dreams all seem to be wild-assed.

I kept thinking of Robocop: Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:01 AM on February 7, 2007

What made the bear suit impressive was the proof of concept video where they beat the hell out of him. Where is that for this suit? I need to see him shot, blown up, and stabbed.

Then I'll buy the bloody suit.
posted by Muddler at 2:44 PM on February 7, 2007

In fact nobody bought the bloody suit; the auction has just ended, and it failed to make the reserve. So where to next for clan Hurtubise, I wonder?
posted by flabdablet at 3:55 AM on February 16, 2007

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