Get the (wedding) party started.
July 23, 2009 6:38 AM   Subscribe

This is how to start a wedding. Totally and utterly SYTLy, but still the best thing I've seen this week.
posted by Hartster (359 comments total) 152 users marked this as a favorite
 
That was awesome, thanks!
posted by weezy at 6:46 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Firstly, there was some terrible, terrible dancing in that video.

Secondly, there is something unexpectedly moving about seeing people just tossing themselves around without any sense of shame, just because it's fun. The video surprised me into tears.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:50 AM on July 23, 2009 [75 favorites]


That was awesome, thanks!

Exactly what I came here to say. Excellent.
posted by dmit at 6:51 AM on July 23, 2009


Yeah, that put a smile on my face. Thanks for making my day.
posted by explosion at 6:52 AM on July 23, 2009


Ha! Like a Bollywood movie wedding!
posted by Ritchie at 6:53 AM on July 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


That was really great. And obviously his idea. She was a great sport for putting up with it.
posted by DU at 6:53 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


what a beautiful, surprising, happy scene. I shed a little tear of joy - unexpectedly moving.
posted by seawallrunner at 6:54 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth.
posted by Flashman at 6:54 AM on July 23, 2009 [15 favorites]


Fantastic! Captures exactly what the feeling of a wedding should be — joy and celebration.
posted by papercake at 6:56 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


That was fantastic, really. Thank you!
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:56 AM on July 23, 2009


One of the few wedding gimmicks that I really liked and appreciated. Thanks!
posted by skintension at 6:57 AM on July 23, 2009


I think this just made my week too. I think I liked the random nature of the entrances and the fact that the groom met the bride half way.
posted by Phalene at 6:58 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Before anyone runs off calling this one of the whitest things they've ever seen, note that one guy looks 1/16th Hispanic. He brought paella.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 6:59 AM on July 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


I'm starting to think that in the near future NOT interrupting your slow first dance with a choreographed routine to some cheesy dance hit (as happened at 2 of the 4 weddings I attended at the beginning of the year) will be the exception not the norm...
posted by PenDevil at 6:59 AM on July 23, 2009


"solemn Christian ceremonies"
And therein lay it's ruin.
posted by Tbola at 7:00 AM on July 23, 2009 [9 favorites]



I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth.

Start bracing yourself now for the first funeral they plan!
posted by Drastic at 7:00 AM on July 23, 2009 [25 favorites]


0:00 - what the hell is this going to be now?
0:30 - Oh jesus they're dancing. this isn't good.
0:45 onwards - tears in my eyes and my mouth agape.

This was awesome.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:00 AM on July 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


Made me cry. Wonderful!
posted by Turtles all the way down at 7:01 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


This makes me happy.
posted by Danf at 7:02 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm sure this thread will devolve into arguments about fat people or hipsters or Chris Brown or race-relations or the ridiculousness of the institution of marriage, but let me say this first: they practiced this.

Somebody had the idea to do this and everyone laughed about it and said, "Yeah, that would be funny, but we can't do that." And then somebody else said, "Why not?" And they asked around and people thought it would be a good idea. And they practiced it. They got together and they worked out dance moves and pairings and they committed to the idea. And I bet at one point, they nearly scrapped it, because the wedding planning was getting overwhelming and they still didn't have the choreography just right and someone said, "Let's not do that." But wiser heads prevailed and they pulled it off. And in their practicing, they sealed their bonds of friendship in a ludicrous act of dancing. We should all be so lucky as to have friends

And it was fantastic. It was a shared moment for all of them and they deserve an ounce of fame for the fact that they took a ridiculous idea and made it happen. They knew they would look silly and they embraced the silliness. And more people should do that. People should ALWAYS be doing that.
posted by ColdChef at 7:02 AM on July 23, 2009 [250 favorites]


That was beautiful. What a way to kick off a life together, right?
posted by empyrean at 7:02 AM on July 23, 2009


I'm betting they're not Baptists.
posted by Shohn at 7:03 AM on July 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


This was incredibly sweet. Thank you!
posted by chihiro at 7:03 AM on July 23, 2009


So joyous!
posted by gomichild at 7:03 AM on July 23, 2009


I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth.

I know! And how about when they stopped using Latin? Stupid youth.
posted by smackfu at 7:04 AM on July 23, 2009 [12 favorites]


Start bracing yourself now for the first funeral they plan!

At may funeral, I'll hire animatronics specialists to animate my cadaver so I can jump out the casket, dance, and foam maggots at the mouth.

I also do children's parties.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 7:05 AM on July 23, 2009 [37 favorites]


I absolutely LOATHE all things wedding, with a depth and breadth that cannot be described. And even my black heart was stirred by this. It was lovely.
posted by hecho de la basura at 7:06 AM on July 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


Somebody had the idea to do this and everyone laughed about it and said, "Yeah, that would be funny, but we can't do that." And then somebody else said, "Why not?"

That's how it turned out that our wedding ceremony ended with the theme to The Price is Right. Everyone laughed and cheered, and no one had a bad word to say about it, so far as I've heard.

Weddings should be fun.
posted by explosion at 7:07 AM on July 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


This is what happens when I:
a) can't view videos from work, and
b) watch too much Lost

I interpret Astro Zombie's words, clause by possible clause:

... there is something unexpectedly moving about -

God, what is it? A crocodile? WTF is at this wedding?!

seeing people just tossing themselves around

Insanity? Voodoo? Or are they trying to escape the aforementioned creature?

without any sense of shame

Rending of garments, too!

just because it's fun. The video surprised me into tears.

Eh... *reread* Ooooohhh...
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:07 AM on July 23, 2009 [8 favorites]



That was really great. And obviously his idea. She was a great sport for putting up with it.


She looked so adorably abashed. And got a standing ovation for her troubles.

The whole thing was fer kute. And I would not normally tolerate that song for more than a few seconds.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:08 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I don't listen to poor people music (country, metal, hip-hop, etc.), so I wouldn't know, but is that what autotune sounds like when it is not being used on the news? That is just horrific shawtay.
posted by ND¢ at 7:09 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


That was fantastic! So much happy stuff there.
posted by bayliss at 7:09 AM on July 23, 2009



Start bracing yourself now for the first funeral they plan!


I am going to write this into some kind of living will. Should I diagram the choreography? No?
posted by louche mustachio at 7:11 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Now THAT'S what a wedding should be: an affirmation of life and exuberance and celebration and the sheer joy at being alive and finding someone you love to spend your life together. Instead of mimicking some Victorian ideal of a celebratory ceremony, they made it their own and I was clapping along with them by the end.


Great post, thanks!
posted by darkstar at 7:13 AM on July 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


I smiled laughed applauded and even cried some. Good stuff, Harster!
posted by humannaire at 7:13 AM on July 23, 2009


I'm having a hard time deciding which part I like best (the solo guy after the two initial girls, dancing against the wall, is up there)... but that's the coolest groom entrance I've ever seen.

Walk up the aisle to the wedding march? Fuck you, I'm diving through a crowd of goofy people like a ninja.
posted by empyrean at 7:14 AM on July 23, 2009 [17 favorites]


This is quite possibly the best thing ever. You have just made my day amazing. Who knew it was so simple? Thanks.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:14 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I was the best man in both my brothers' weddings, and while this video made me smile, I am SO GLAD that they don't have the temperament to do something like this, because it would make me actively test the notion of dying from embarassment and/or lack of rhythm.
posted by xingcat at 7:14 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


That was awesome.

I'm getting married in 9 days. I needed that: it's reminded me what it's all really about. Thanks, Hartster.
posted by Spinneret at 7:16 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


HOORAY WEDDING!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:18 AM on July 23, 2009


This is why I hate people.
posted by interrobang at 7:23 AM on July 23, 2009 [15 favorites]


Do not like.
posted by doublesix at 7:24 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I can't believe she wore white.
posted by Pastabagel at 7:26 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]



That's how it turned out that our wedding ceremony ended with the theme to The Price is Right. Everyone laughed and cheered, and no one had a bad word to say about it, so far as I've heard.


If that's true, you are the coolest person ever. No, wait... The Coolest Person ever.
posted by milarepa at 7:26 AM on July 23, 2009


ND¢: I don't listen to poor people music (country, metal, hip-hop, etc.),

SRSLY? Sorry to derail, but is this seriously how you describe your musical tastes, or is this a new edgy hipster way of pretending to challenge elitism by being elitist?

Irony optional.
posted by LMGM at 7:27 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


Just run of the mill early morning jerkitude. Sometimes people are just jerks sometimes.
posted by ND¢ at 7:29 AM on July 23, 2009


At may funeral, I'll hire animatronics specialists to animate my cadaver so I can jump out the casket, dance, and foam maggots at the mouth.

I pretended to lose my fortune years ago,
so that at my funeral nobody will suspect special effects
when hell opens up and swallows my body whole
(I believe in ecstatic truth.)

This is why I hate people.

Yes, they have all the fun.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:30 AM on July 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


Is this something I'd have to be married in order to not keep bawling?
posted by vers at 7:31 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


God forbid people find creative ways to celebrate their love, interrobang.
posted by alzi at 7:31 AM on July 23, 2009


Just run of the mill early morning jerkitude. Sometimes people are just jerks sometimes.

Just sometimes, sometimes?
posted by filthy light thief at 7:31 AM on July 23, 2009


That should have been mawkish and sentimental, but... Good on them. I mostly think weddings are dreary and boring, and yet it's supposed to be a great day. Nice to see a bunch of friends actually having fun to kick it off with. And while there was some terrible dancing - it's so not a setting where that matters.
posted by opsin at 7:32 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Awesome.
posted by debbie_ann at 7:32 AM on July 23, 2009


Oh, the humanity. This is great.
posted by Kinbote at 7:32 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


And while there was some terrible dancing - it's so not a setting where that matters.

(un)God(s) don't care how you dance, just as long as you show the world that you're alive.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:33 AM on July 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


CPB sez ...embraced the silliness. And more people should do that. People should ALWAYS be doing that.

Amen.

The only wedding I ever cried at was my own (she was so *beautiful*) but I really teared up at this. What a delight, and thank you.
posted by ZakDaddy at 7:34 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years. Pretty much time to get married, right? Actually, I have really no problems with getting married - I'd head down to city hall today, if I could.

My fear is that the instant she says yes, I will be pulled into an escalating spiral of "cute ideas" like this, uncontrollable guest lists, pretty invitations, and endless agonizing over pointless details.
posted by davey_darling at 7:36 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]




Wow... if this is how they do their wedding, just think of the choreography of their ( honeymoon | first argument | divorce )

I want to see a Bollywood fight scene now - twenty Indian women throwing perfectly synchronised plates of Madras at twenty men in white suits, who duck with perfect timing then tut and shake their heads over dramatically...
posted by twine42 at 7:40 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Also fun is this amateur music video for Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" recorded at a wedding.
posted by thewittyname at 7:40 AM on July 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


Remember how awesome your Disco-Themed Wedding Ceremony was in 1978? Yeah.
posted by rusty at 7:41 AM on July 23, 2009


This should have given me major douche chills but somehow it's just....the greatest happiest thing I've ever seen. Thank you so much for posting this!
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 7:43 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Here I thought my wife and I were unusual for using the Throne Room/End Title theme from Star Wars for our recessional. Very cool video, thanks!
posted by cerebus19 at 7:44 AM on July 23, 2009


Just run of the mill early morning jerkitude. Sometimes people are just jerks sometimes.

That's okay - I thought it was hilarious, and I listen to all three.
posted by FatherDagon at 7:44 AM on July 23, 2009


Raise a joyous noise, no?

Great fun. Cheers!
posted by Samizdata at 7:45 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


twine beat me to it. I can't wait for the divorce choreography. The church is for the solemn and meaningful piece. There will be a reception after where you can do your goofy horrible dancing.
posted by genefinder at 7:47 AM on July 23, 2009


Holly rollers?
posted by leftcoastbob at 7:48 AM on July 23, 2009


I was all ready to snark in the first minute or so, but by the end...

Yeah, this is pretty darned great. Thanks!
posted by dbiedny at 7:48 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


When my husband and I were planning our wedding the father wouldn't let us do anything. Our own vows? No. Having some of the wedding party read poems we loved? No. Lighting one of those two candles joined into one? No. He wouldn't even let us have the wedding march because it wasn't a spiritual song. He was concerned over the sleeveless dresses the maids wore, but was glad they went past the knee.

We complained and he pretty much told us that he was not involving himself in nonsense and we should thank him for 'fixing' our ridiculous plans.

Had we some other choice available for officiant, we would have taken it. Because he turned something that would have been meaningful, fun, and memorable to us into another yawn-fest of a wedding and created lifetime memories of how the church is run by douchetards.

Thank goodness this couple had fun. A wedding should be a celebration.
posted by FunkyHelix at 7:51 AM on July 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


We get it, you're fucking precious. Hurry it up and get to cocktail hour.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:56 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Re ColdChef's comment: I think that the emotional reactions to this may speak to the odd seriousness of the institution of "weddings". I think Flashman is right to invoke the word "solemn" since, I believe, that solemnity is more characteristic of our current interpretation of religious ceremony...more than celebratory would be a characteristic.

This, by the way, isn't a criticism of either conventional weddings or the changes to them that people may make. Weddings, it seems, are a beautiful anachronism that we sometimes feel the need to tweak around the edges to make them more relevant. These alterations, it seems, provide some of the sweeter moments.

ps I think the bride walked down the aisle without her father. My money is on this also being an important explanation for this entrance.
posted by Hypnotic Chick at 7:56 AM on July 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


So much for the sanctity of marriage.

yeah..once you get past the fact that people acting happier than you don't necessarily need to be eaten by bears, it gets kind of enjoyable.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:58 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'd rather go to ColdChef's wedding than Flashman's.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:59 AM on July 23, 2009 [21 favorites]


It looks like fun, though doing the pony down the church aisle is a little much for me. That said if you're going to do it, do it all the way, and those folks definitely did.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:01 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


(Actually, I think this is worse than a "regular" wedding ceremony in that it would be more difficult to take a nap.)
posted by uncleozzy at 8:01 AM on July 23, 2009


That was awesome. They may have a regret on the song choice one day though.
posted by hazyspring at 8:01 AM on July 23, 2009


I don't listen to poor people music (god I love that phrase, what does it even mean? I don't know or care) either. In fact I'll go you one better and confess that I loath it.

But that was fucking terrific. Raise a joyous noise, hell yeah. Shawtay.
posted by From Bklyn at 8:02 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Just about the only thing I remember from my wedding ceremony was the laugh from the congregation when my brother and I started miming a aircraft safety announcement ("the emergency exits are here, here and here...").

We'd genuinely forgotten that the people stood behind us could see us. Classic childhood case of "if I can't see you, then I can't be seen"...
posted by twine42 at 8:03 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


... from the David Brent school of dancing.
posted by mathlete at 8:04 AM on July 23, 2009


If you liked that one, you'll love this one. The march down the aisle starts around 1:30.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:05 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


White people dance like this. . .
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:05 AM on July 23, 2009


That was nice. I'd stop dodging wedding invitations if I knew stuff like that was going to happen.
posted by quin at 8:07 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


It was great, but I was dying for a couple of the parents to come bopping in.
posted by digsrus at 8:09 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


There'd be a lot more of this if we'd just let the gays marry already!
posted by orme at 8:11 AM on July 23, 2009 [55 favorites]


After the 50th re-watch, I'm pretty sure they had a professional ringer - the guy doing the hand stand is definitely John Belushi.
posted by empyrean at 8:11 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I liked the part where they danced.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:14 AM on July 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


At may funeral, I'll hire animatronics specialists to animate my cadaver so I can jump out the casket, dance, and foam maggots at the mouth.

I was so hoping they would do this at the Michael Jackson memorial service.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:15 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thanks, TPS. Offbeat Bride is amazing.

For instance, this description from a lesbian wedding:
What made our wedding offbeat: Well, first we’re girlie-dress & makeup-loving gay ladies. We couldn’t agree who had to change her last name, so we played a Name Change Soccer Game the afternoon before the wedding with our guests, and the winner’s team got to pick our new last name. In a total upset, Laura (who is completely unathletic) and her team won, and she scored the winning goal. It served as a great icebreaker for everyone to get to know one another.

This makes me happy in a way I can't describe.
posted by ColdChef at 8:17 AM on July 23, 2009 [32 favorites]


Nthing the "This is the right way to start a marriage" crew. My cold, dead, cynical heart was warmed by the sheer glee that underlaid (underlayed? WTF, spell check?) the whole production. And, I got a bit misty when the bride -- as noted, clearly a bit shy -- made her entrance.

Beautiful, and if not necessarily the best of the web, certainly in the 95th percentile of people.
posted by ChrisR at 8:19 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm amused to look down at the video list on the right hand side and see that this sort of thing is now a trend.

Awesome.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:20 AM on July 23, 2009


The sheer joy. I am in tears, and I'll be damned.
posted by Xoebe at 8:30 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth.
posted by Flashman at 8:54 AM on July 23 [4 favorites +] [!]


What a craptastic threadshit. Did you really shed tears, or is that typical Xtian hyperbole?

Either way, lighten up Francis.
posted by HyperBlue at 8:31 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


Because he turned something that would have been meaningful, fun, and memorable to us into another yawn-fest of a wedding and created lifetime memories of how the church is run by douchetards.

No douchiness implied, but you must experience the surreal buzzkill of a Quebec wedding with mandatory reading from the Droit Civil...
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:33 AM on July 23, 2009


YEAA US!
posted by humannaire at 8:34 AM on July 23, 2009


Does anyone know if the original video is from a real wedding? You never know on the internet these days if something like that is "real" or is some viral advertisement for sunglasses or something.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:34 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


i don't like weddings, and i don't like that song... but i loved this.
posted by gursky at 8:34 AM on July 23, 2009


And since it hadn't been said properly,... best of web!
posted by humannaire at 8:35 AM on July 23, 2009


That was so, so great. I laughed I cried, I'm going to send the link around to some folks I know who need it (which is everyone, I think). Thank you so much for posting this! Started my day off right, it did.
posted by rtha at 8:37 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Somewhere in the cold depths of space, a superior alien race quietly monitoring Earth and YouTube with its finger on the red button, nodded to each other and said - these people aren't so bad, after all.

And then they nodded their heads along to the beat.
posted by empyrean at 8:40 AM on July 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


White men can't dance.

But it was good of them to try.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:42 AM on July 23, 2009


Life, with or without somebody to share it with, is absolutely guaranteed to have a lot of serious, solemn moments. A lot of times when there's no smile on your face at all.

So you know what? Every fucking chance you get, you have some goddamn fun. If a marriage isn't a thing to be celebrated, what the hell is it for? Seriousness is guaranteed. Joy is not. I know which one I'd want to focus on at my wedding.

Of course, I'm an atheist Jew, so I guess my opinion about the solemnity of Christian ceremonies is suspect. If you need me, I'll be over here hoisting people onto chairs carried by the crowd to clapping and singing.
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:43 AM on July 23, 2009 [16 favorites]


I fucking HATE autotune, the thousand suns do not even begin to metaphorically describe my disdain for autotune. And yet, I kinda liked the sheer joy in this video. Yeah, statistically speaking they have about a 50/50 chance of staying together but they grabbed life by the balls and started the marriage out right. good for them.
posted by edgeways at 8:44 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


I understand wanting people to enjoy their wedding, but I'm not really sure why the dichotomy is "solemn Christian ceremony" and "fun." My wedding was very typically formal, black tie, fancy church, organ music and Episcopalian ceremony. I don't think that made it boring, or meant that it didn't express our joy at the being married.

In fact, I found working within the context of traditional formality made it easier for us to express our happiness, because it meant we had a narrower list of choices to look at. We went with traditional church music, but plenty of that is joyful(In fact, we went with "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" which is twice as joyful as any song you can think of). We went with traditional scripture readings, but once again, there's plenty of joy in the Bible if you look for it. It also meant we didn't have to worry about finding a balance between being celebratory and not offending anyone with our lack of formality. While everyone here seems to love this entrance, plenty of people would be put off by it.

I'm not saying I object to things like this, just that the idea that this is the only way for a wedding to be happy is wrong.

I also think it's worth noting that our wedding was happy because we were happy, and everyone was happy for us. No amount of dancing will save a wedding where that isn't the case.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:47 AM on July 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


ColdChef, you are a wise, wise man.
posted by rtha at 8:47 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


The Offbeat Bride site that ThePinkSuperhero linked to is also run by Ariel of the Microspotting blog posted a few days ago.
posted by clerestory at 8:48 AM on July 23, 2009


what ColdChef said.

i was expecting "oh dear, whatever", but it was sweet and adorable and now i'm smiling.

whoever they are, i hope they have a great time together.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:50 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


When my wife and I got married, we walked down the aisle - well, path as we got married outside next to a lake in Maine - to the string quartet cover of Nirvana's "All Apologies."

Nobody over thirty got the Married... Buried reference and those under thirty were distracted in commenting it by the FREAKING HUGE SPIDER that was busy crawling its way up my wife's gown.

Were it not for a brave bridesmaid and a casual "Just adjusting your dress, dear" our wedding would have likely also ended up on YouTube - with my wife screaming and standing in the lake, the rest of the wedding party fetching rafts and tackle to fish her out.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:50 AM on July 23, 2009 [22 favorites]


Jesus, I thought we were pushing the boat out by walking up the aisle to Hava Negila on the bagpipes and having our first dance be the Hokey Pokey. (Accidentally - the little kids wanted to dance with us, so sure!)

But that was fabulous. And joyous. And I'm all weepy.

Also, I couldn't help wondering what grandma up there at the front thought :)
posted by DarlingBri at 8:53 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm not saying I object to things like this, just that the idea that this is the only way for a wedding to be happy is wrong.

I don't think anyone is saying this is the only way to be happy. But a wedding in which everyone is happy and not just happy for the couple is rare. I've been to a handful and 95% of them is yeah I'm happy for the couple, that is what the ceremony is about right? But, in the reality of things weddings are usually tedious for those sitting 5 back in the pews, stand up, sit down, sing. They are a time to stifle your comfort and enjoyment wish the newlyweds well and get the hell out of as soon as socially acceptable. This looked like it was fun for everyone. More of this.

My wedding? 15 mins, two close friends as witnesses and some homemade cake at a nice restaurant afterward. 15 years and counting ago. Every big wedding (save one) that I've been to has ended in divorce.
posted by edgeways at 8:58 AM on July 23, 2009


The church is for the solemn and meaningful piece.

You've never been to a black (African American, that is) church service, have you.

I know there are mostly white congregations that sing, clap, dance, shout, praise, laugh etc., but it's definitely more common in black churches. Make a joyful noise, and so on.

As far as I know, there's no law against having a goofy, happy dance down the aisle and then having the solemn, meaningful vows take place afterwards. Some of you apparently think that because this couple didn't do things in the way you think indicates that they take it seriously that they don't take it seriously. I respectfully suggest that you are full of it.
posted by rtha at 8:59 AM on July 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


Two masters were observing a rainstorm. One welcomed the rain to his cistern, saving him work, while the other cursed the mud, dirtying his floor, causing more work. While both were right, any passing person could only agree with one of them.
posted by discountfortunecookie at 8:59 AM on July 23, 2009 [11 favorites]


And since it hadn't been said properly,... best of web!
posted by humannaire at 4:35 PM on July 23 [+] [!]


best of the wed, surely...?
posted by twine42 at 9:09 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Hee! I loved it. Wish I had thought of it. Although my dad would have been the first one to throw-down and jitterbug down the aisle.

The object of our very formal and traditional wedding? Do it fast so we can get to the open bar. We accomplished this in under 40 minutes.

A success!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:15 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


You know how courthouses are often large and imposing and formal looking? This is not by accident. It is the same reason that churches, before they started being built to look like Wal-Marts, were made to look the same way. The purpose is to instill respect and recognition and reverence in those entering the building. Courthouses and cathedrals say to those entering "What you are doing is a big deal! Treat it with respect!"

I think a marriage ceremony should send the same message. If you want to whoop and holler and "do the crunk" or whatever, you have a reception coming up within the hour to do all those things. Why do you have to do it during the ceremony? Marriage is a lifelong commitment not to be entered into lightly. It should be approached reverently and seriously. People getting married need it to be conveyed to them that "What you are doing is a big deal! Treat it with respect!" I think that is difficult to do when your ceremony resembles the inside of an extremely lame dance club.

Oh and please don't give me the whole "People should be treated like adults and it should be assumed that they can take their vows seriously without being intimidated by buildings and rituals" because that is just naive.
posted by ND¢ at 9:16 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


No douchiness implied, but you must experience the surreal buzzkill of a Quebec wedding with mandatory reading from the Droit Civil...

I love the reading from the code - I think it's great actually.

Putting it to to dance - that would be... brilliant!
posted by Salamandrous at 9:19 AM on July 23, 2009


Am I the only person who started watching this and just went "Ugh," and turned it off again? I surely can not be the sole curmudgeon on the blue today.

Maybe I need to check it out again and see if I actually missed anything interesting.
posted by Aversion Therapy at 9:19 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


No, ND¢... People are all children who can't be relied upon to do anything properly unless they look suitably respectful, have no fun at all, and sit in silence until someone returns the last pair of scissors. We've got all night, you know. It's your own time you're wasting...

*sigh*
posted by twine42 at 9:20 AM on July 23, 2009


Here I thought my wife and I were unusual for using the Throne Room/End Title theme from Star Wars for our recessional.

My fiancee and I decided against using that for our recessional because we thought it was too traditional.
posted by kmz at 9:23 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


There's so much love in the video between the members of the wedding party, and it's definitely something special to be able to pull off a cute stunt like this.

It feels like a metaphor for the marriage itself - supporting somebody's crazy ideas because you love them, or they dance embarrassingly badly but you love them anyway.
posted by Lush at 9:23 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


I surely can not be the sole curmudgeon on the blue today.

You clearly haven't been reading the thread.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 9:24 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


ps I think the bride walked down the aisle without her father. My money is on this also being an important explanation for this entrance.

Funny that no one else has commented on this. Yes. Someone thought of this to cheer her up.

Also, awesome.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:27 AM on July 23, 2009


... Thank goodness this couple had fun. A wedding should be a celebration.

My wedding wasn't in a church, but my Mom had some scripture added in at the last minute. Though it was one of the lesser-inspired moments, it was pared well with this weird quote that I felt was fitting for me and my bride-to-be. It was our wedding, and we had fun.

A month or so later, I went with my new bride to a wedding on her side of the family, most of whom I would be meeting for the first time. I was in the audience for the wedding rehearsal, where the Father who would be performing the ceremony laid down the rules for the proceedings. There were no comments on the bridesmaid's attire, but he did specifically say that if he caught anyone getting drunk in the parking lot before the ceremony that the wedding would be off, and we couldn't bring food or drink into the sanctuary. His list of rules was a buzzkill for the joyous occasion, setting the tone with restrictions we all found to be obvious. We get it, we shouldn't be drunk for the wedding, and we shouldn't make a mess of the church.

Why does church have to be serious? To properly pay homage to the suffering of Christ, and remember that he died for our sins and all that? If I was to die for anyone, I'd want them to live a happy and joyful life, not forever be trapped in the memory of my last painful moments. Darned Puritans and Calvinists, taking the joy out of praise.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:29 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Let's get one thing straight:

WHITE MEN CAN DANCE, dammit!
posted by BigLankyBastard at 9:29 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


please don't give me the whole "People should be treated like adults and it should be assumed that they can take their vows seriously without being intimidated by buildings and rituals" because that is just naive.

What's important here is that someone else gets to tell you how to do stuff.
What better metaphor for an old-fashioned marriage?

You keep marriage in your way, and let us keep it in ours, sir/madam.
posted by Tbola at 9:31 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


"I surely can not be the sole curmudgeon on the blue today."

No, you're not....I'm with you.. I clicked through, advanced the video, hoping for something to make me say "neat"...just didn't happen..
posted by HuronBob at 9:33 AM on July 23, 2009


Two masters were observing a rainstorm. One welcomed the rain to his cistern, saving him work, while the other cursed the mud, dirtying his floor, causing more work. While both were right, any passing person could only agree with one of them.
posted by discountfortunecookie


Any passing person could agree with both, but see that the second master was a glass half empty kind of guy. The world can be bad and good, and you can ignore the bad for the good, or address both the good and bad, and go from there.

And eponyetc...
posted by filthy light thief at 9:36 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


What's important here is that someone else gets to tell you how to do stuff.

You've completely misunderstood me. It's the exact opposite: other people need me to tell them how to do stuff.
posted by ND¢ at 9:36 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Marriage is a lifelong commitment not to be entered into lightly. It should be approached reverently and seriously. People getting married need it to be conveyed to them that "What you are doing is a big deal! Treat it with respect!" I think that is difficult to do when your ceremony resembles the inside of an extremely lame dance club.

While I completely agree with your first assertion, I don't think the second necessarily follows. It is possible to be both gay (in the original meaning) and reverent. We are large and contain multitudes. And, you know...Diff'rent Strokes and all.
posted by ColdChef at 9:37 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


ps I think the bride walked down the aisle without her father. My money is on this also being an important explanation for this entrance.

Funny that no one else has commented on this. Yes. Someone thought of this to cheer her up.


Pardon me, but plenty of us with real, live, breathing fathers walked down the aisle without the assistance of our dads. Do not make the assumption that because a woman doesn't want to be "given away" by her father to her husband, she doesn't have a father. Like the veil (which this bride also didn't have), the paternal escort is something women increasingly choose to dispense with. Other women choose to walk with their mothers, or with both parents.

The lack of a father in the aisle does not, in other words, necessarily mean one lacks a father.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:38 AM on July 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


You've completely misunderstood me. It's the exact opposite: other people need me to tell them how to do stuff.

Ha! I often feel the same way. Especially when it comes to how people live their lives and what movies they see.
posted by ColdChef at 9:38 AM on July 23, 2009


OK, that was fun. Good stuff!
posted by jquinby at 9:40 AM on July 23, 2009


That's how it turned out that our wedding ceremony ended with the theme to The Price is Right. Everyone laughed and cheered, and no one had a bad word to say about it, so far as I've heard.

We ended ours by singing "We're so glad we had this time together...." a la The Carol Burnett Show. Folks really got into it - someone even yelled out "do your Tarzan yell!"
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:44 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Do not make the assumption that because a woman doesn't want to be "given away" by her father to her husband, she doesn't have a father.

I wasn't suggesting she didn't have one. I was suggesting that maybe she her father was a butthole, which I think is what Hypnotic Chick was suggesting too. This is something I have a small modicum of experience in.

But you're right. Shouldn't assume. Sorry.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:45 AM on July 23, 2009


It's the exact opposite: other people need me to tell them how to do stuff.
Yeah, I kind of mixed my pronouns a bit. I was speaking from the wedding couple's perspective at first.
So, you still get to be the "someone else" telling them how to do stuff in that scenario.
posted by Tbola at 9:46 AM on July 23, 2009


Hundred pounds of awesome.

What was the name / artist of that song, anyway?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:47 AM on July 23, 2009


So, you still get to be the "someone else" telling them how to do stuff in that scenario.

Now we understand each other.

Chris Brown CPB.
posted by ND¢ at 9:48 AM on July 23, 2009


I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth.

Mr. Chekov, set phasers to "ignore."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:52 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Forever is the name of the song. You may be familiar with some of Mr. Brown's other work.
posted by ND¢ at 9:55 AM on July 23, 2009


Certainly manages to caputre the essence of the spiritual nature of holy matrimony,and rightfully held in church ...Next show: all participants in the nude, dancing, cavorting.

my problem is that after brief, very brief, watching, it gets tedious cause you know the routine and the novelty is no longer there.
posted by Postroad at 9:59 AM on July 23, 2009


Someone I know had the Theme from the Banana Splits as their recessional. But then, they also had Peter Yarrow (he of Peter, Paul, and Mary) perform a couple of songs during the ceremony.

And, you know, it's not like dancing in church is anything new (warning--autostart midi).
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:00 AM on July 23, 2009


I'm getting married at the end of the month and in no way will we be doing anything remotely close to as cool as that.
posted by daHIFI at 10:01 AM on July 23, 2009


"Forever" is interesting due to its blatant product placement.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:02 AM on July 23, 2009


Am I the only person who started watching this and just went "Ugh," and turned it off again?

Nope, even 2nd chance fast-forwarded to the end to see if I missed anything. Publicly performed, self-consciously goofy, bad amateur theater is painful to watch. Thumbs up for the right to have one's wedding in whatever manner one chooses, and I'm glad they had a great time (one assumes), but if this is the best of the web, I'm turning the web off.
posted by mdevore at 10:02 AM on July 23, 2009


When we got married in 2002, we opened the ceremony with preflight instructions, a la Southwest Airlines, from one of my groomsmen (who had blue hair) and my wife's sister. Who had constructed a seatbelt buckle assembly and oxygen mask out of paper, complete with little elastic pull-bands. She had practiced diligently, going so far as to both videotape an actual flight attendant doing the warning and stealing one of the seatback cards to use in the performance.

My wife's father, who is generally the epitome of the stone-faced father-in-law, laughed so hard he nearly threw up, and we actually had to delay the entrances so he could compose himself.

Without exception, every guest at the wedding said it was one of the best things they'd ever seen at a wedding, it started the ceremony with laughter, and I like to think that it set the tone for a marriage that's roaring along 7 years later with one kid and another on the way.

Sure, we could have had a more "standard" wedding. Why on earth would we have wanted to? I applaud these people: decades from now, they'll still be smiling when they think about their wedding, and their guests will still be talking about it.
posted by scrump at 10:05 AM on July 23, 2009 [13 favorites]


I can't wait to see what they're going to be broadcasting directly into my head, via YouBeam, fifty years from now when they celebrate their golden anniversary.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:08 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth.

Wait...that wasn't a joke?

Instead of thinking of it as a "Christian ceremony" (I guess nobody ever got married pre-B.C.?) being degraded by godless seculars, think of it as godless seculars growing closer to God by holding their pagan wedding inside a church.

Or whatever other mythical sky-daddy story will get you past the horror of people having fun.
posted by DU at 10:08 AM on July 23, 2009


"Forever" is interesting due to its blatant product placement [for Wrigley's Doublemint Gum]

I know. If I walked down the aisle to a song from a gum commercial, I'd have gone with Juicy Fruit or Big Red. The vows are gonna move ya!
posted by ALongDecember at 10:09 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


That was adorably awful, and I'm deeply grateful that it didn't go public before my brother's wedding.

This could be a primer in picking clothing for a summer wedding, too - all of it weather-appropriate, and able to be worn for other events.
posted by EvaDestruction at 10:11 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is how to do a SYTL post.
posted by Midnight Rambler at 10:15 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


As far as the speculation about the father--maybe he just didn't want to participate in the dancing. I know there's no way I could get my own dad to do anything like this.
posted by carrienation at 10:16 AM on July 23, 2009


"I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth."

I know the difference is a hairline these days, but I really think some of you need to recalibrate your sarcasm detectors.

:)
posted by IAmBroom at 10:18 AM on July 23, 2009


First, I'm pretty sure Flashman was being a smart ass. He used the terms "most solemn" and "youth." I'm pretty sure it was a lolxians comment meant to be in the voice of the lolxian.

On the other hand, ND¢, who is normally one of my favorite commenters, is being a cockbite in this thread, and should really drink some coffee or something. Worry about your own wedding and music, dude, and let other people do their own thing. Because this video was pretty great, and that's the kind of wedding I'd actually like to attend. (And if you're also actually trying to be a smartass, you're taking it way too far.)
posted by Caduceus at 10:19 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


that's nothing - you should see what they've got planned for the divorce
posted by pyramid termite at 10:22 AM on July 23, 2009


Here is what is going on when you agree with most of what I say, but occasionally see things that you think are wrong: you are not done evolving yet. You are on the right track. Keep going!
posted by ND¢ at 10:24 AM on July 23, 2009


I think I must be mentally confusing Flashman for some kneejerk conservative. Clearly a joke on his part, judging by past comments.
posted by DU at 10:26 AM on July 23, 2009


Holy crap that was fabulous. Why can't life be more like that?
posted by yoink at 10:29 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm sure it's been linked here before, but here's Amy's wedding toast.
posted by mattdidthat at 10:32 AM on July 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


Did anyone notice the very stern, maybe scared, look on the groom (starting at 3:07)?
posted by hillabeans at 10:33 AM on July 23, 2009


ND¢ is having you all on, I believe, but I actually agree with his pretend persona on the supposition that there's no way the bride and groom actually love that song. It's a lousy, instantly dated song by a minor artist, and I have a hard time imagining that anyone involved sits around listening to Chris Brown-to say nothing of whether they'll remember him fondly in their dotage.

If you love Star Wars and you want to recess to the Imperial March, I think that's terrific and I'd be happy to be there. Or whatever you want to do, as long as it's earnest. But don't make me fly to your wedding to suffer through your five minute ironic joke dance during the ceremony, because I think marriage is an important, serious event and I made an effort to be there. If you don't think it's serious and are doing it for insurance or whatever, go to a courthouse. Otherwise, save it for the reception-which is designed for stuff like this.

If I am wrong and "Forever" is one of the bride and grooms favorite songs or whatever, I take it back. But I doubt it.
posted by Kwine at 10:34 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's so much better if you turn the sound down and play Dark Side of the Moon.
posted by Oddly at 10:35 AM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


If y'all want some more awesome wedding party dancing, you must check out this wedding (vimeo link) between a show dancer and her karaoke-loving husband. I featured it a while back on Offbeat Bride and the ladies lost their freaking minds.

(PS: Yes, as Clerestory pointed out, I am the same Ariel that runs Microspotting, lambasted earlier this week, and Offbeat Bride.)
posted by arielmeadow at 10:35 AM on July 23, 2009


Did anyone notice the very stern, maybe scared, look on the groom (starting at 3:07)?

He thought for a second he saw ND¢ in the congregation.
posted by yoink at 10:35 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Garbage. Straight up garbage.
I don't have a problem with doing something fun for a wedding, but this is a shit song by a woman beater and these people can't dance.
posted by 2sheets at 10:36 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hey, if you guys don't like their wedding, you're perfectly free not to have attended it.
posted by kathrineg at 10:42 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


But don't make me fly to your wedding to suffer through your five minute ironic joke dance during the ceremony, because I think marriage is an important, serious event and I made an effort to be there.

The most solemn, most "traditional" marriage I ever attended (my cousin's) was one which ended because the husband took to treating my cousin as a punching bag.

The next most solemn wedding I attended was my wife's cousin's; that ended in divorce a few years later.

A dear friend of mine had a wedding that was preceded by a kazoo serenade. They've been going strong for years. My wife and I got married in a registry office because we needed the wedding certificate for purely bureaucratic reasons. We've been happily together for almost three decades.

From personal observation I'd say the correlation between "solemnity of ceremony" and "seriousness of approach to the relationship" is actually somewhat inverse. People who think that the wedding ceremony is actually "important" (i.e., that it is their "one special day" or that it will perform some magic bonding on them) often don't have much trust in the strength--or happiness--of the actual relationship.
posted by yoink at 10:45 AM on July 23, 2009 [23 favorites]


Metafilter: These People Can't Dance
posted by HuronBob at 10:46 AM on July 23, 2009


I am going to go with the solid majority on this one and proclaim this fantastic. Truly one of the best things I have seen on youtube. They embraced their inner dork and ecstatically danced their butts off. I love shit like this.
posted by msali at 10:48 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Forever is the name of the song. You may be familiar with some of Mr. Brown's other work.

Heh, I thought you'd link to this. I'm still not sure this is from a real wedding, and if any artist could use some positive publicity right now, it'd be Chris Brown.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:49 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Now I'm wishing my wife had had a choreographed fight up the aisle in order to get to me.

Maybe I can arrange that if we ever do vow renewals.
posted by ODiV at 10:49 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Awesome! So great they can celebrate their love in their own way. I'll bet the reception was rockin!
posted by garnetgirl at 10:52 AM on July 23, 2009


At the very start I was prepared for "Sheesh white people!..." but you know what? They were fucking HAPPY. I love weddings, and really, that is all.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:53 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Okay, just watched it again. Not only do I have tears running down my cheeks, I want to be friends with these people.
posted by msali at 10:54 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, Unlike some of you lubbers, I'm not going to mention the tears because I'm waay to manly for that.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:59 AM on July 23, 2009


I don't understand why you can't have joyous fun at your wedding while simultaneously regarding it as a profound and serious thing. I thought this was great.
posted by Skot at 11:00 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


My 93-year-old grandmother died last night after 5+ years of declining health and a week-long hospital stay during which she literally could not stop writhing in pain. So I guess today, of all days, is the one and only day that I feel I have a unique, clear perspective on this.

You can talk about white people dancing and overdoing the cute and trying to be too precious and the evils of autotune and all that other stuff. However, all of it is irrelevant. Any of our opinions on any of those things is irrelevant. Here is what's relevant. Here is the point:

In life, there is joy.

Where, when, and how it manifests is really none of our business. We should simply be grateful for its existence.
posted by mudpuppie at 11:02 AM on July 23, 2009 [62 favorites]


Joy.; ok. no problem. Tedious? problem.
posted by Postroad at 11:12 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


There is no necessity to "speculating" on the lack of giving awayness - as pointed out above, many women don't want to be "given away". They would rather enter into a vow as independent adults.

The groom also came down the aisle in this wedding - and was just as much the centre of attention as the bride, as he should be.
posted by jb at 11:13 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, I cried with joy, and I don't even know these people. This was stunningly beautiful.
posted by jb at 11:15 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


if any artist could use some positive publicity right now, it'd be Chris Brown.

Chris Brown should be calling these people and asking to use their footage as a music video, if he wants some good press.

Not only do I have tears running down my cheeks, I want to be friends with these people.

Exactly my reaction. They just looked so fun.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:16 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I enjoyed the video, but am I the only one who watched this and thought "It's hot enough standing in a tux in front of the church with every light bulb in the sanctuary beaming all its heat at you...without doing a dance routine first."?
posted by wabashbdw at 11:16 AM on July 23, 2009


"The church is for the solemn and meaningful piece."

And pederasty. (But apparently that applies only if you're Catholic.)

"When my husband and I were planning our wedding the father wouldn't let us do anything."

This is exactly why my wife (an agnostic) and I (a lapsed Catholic*) decided to meet with and get to know the guy we chose to perform our ceremony. We did go with a Catholic priest, but we also spent a good deal of time discussing with him what was important to us about the ceremony. We also held it in a nondenominational chapel rather than a Catholic church. If we couldn't have found a priest who would allow us to do things the way we wanted, we would not have asked a priest to perform the ceremony. I'm just saying, unless you're totally roped into doing it within one institution, you have choices. (Even if the choice is happiness at your own wedding but eternally damned and shunned by your family vs. doing what the priest wants and being nauseated by the restrictions).

*No, no pederasty. I was an altar boy, but I guess I wasn't cute enough.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:22 AM on July 23, 2009


Face not big enough for the smile that gave me.

According to the practically useful, Divorce Mag site (it looks like in the US the 7th year really is the hardest for a marriage to sustain), divorce rates are steadily going down. 43% now of first marriages. Interesting to note Sweden ranks highest among the divorces in the world. Maybe those who are able to have fun together are able to live together longer?

And yes, among the wonderful things about that vid was the expression of loving loyalty from their friends.

That vid's going to take off like viral wildfire. Spreading joy is a good thing. May it bring the couple much good fortune in their time together.
posted by nickyskye at 11:23 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Tedious? problem.

This, exactly. Levity is great; serious ceremonies are the pits. But many, maybe most, of your guests really don't want to sit through a 5-minute song-and-dance. Get the silly ceremony over and move on to the party, where everybody can dance. I'd skip the public ceremony altogether if it wouldn't totally cheese my family off.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:27 AM on July 23, 2009


Apologies for my malfunctioning sarcasm detector, good sirs/madams.
posted by Tbola at 11:28 AM on July 23, 2009


My criticism wasn't targeted at lack of solemnity-it would be strange if it was, since my own wedding lacked solemnity-but at lack of earnestness.

Again, make it a song that the bride and groom love and I get on board. Smart money, though, says that sometime in the planning process the groom was all like "What about "Forever" by Chris Brown?" and then everyone snickered and then here we are and you can still sort of see the snickers on their faces, and that is, ick.

My left arm has a tattoo that says 'tattoo' and I sing karaoke every other Tuesday, at times purposely badly. I know about the ick; it's the high fructose corn syrup of joy, and it has a time and a place, but if you're going to get the church and put on nice clothes and haul in Aunt Ethel from Fresno and commit to love and honor the person you love until you die, couldn't you get us some honest joy too, the real thing? I have to work now, so I'll take my answer off the air.
posted by Kwine at 11:30 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


But many, maybe most, of your guests really don't want to sit through a 5-minute song-and-dance.

This sums up what my reaction would have been had I been in the audience. 45 minutes of stand up, sit down, sing is fine, a lot of people do that every week and if you pay attention, there is actually something going on. 5 minutes of watching other people dance to a crappy song seems a lot more boring to me.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:35 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


couldn't you get us some honest joy too

Try looking at their faces and at the faces of the congregation. Try remembering that not all people enjoy the same music that you do, and that's not just because they're secretly trying to piss you off.
posted by yoink at 11:40 AM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I don't know about the rest of you, but I always picture the mefites who grumble and hate on fun stuff like this as standing off to the side of the room, dressed head-to-toe in black, with their dyed black hair half-covering their mopey faces. Like this guy.
posted by rocket88 at 11:40 AM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


This is what happens when you let women be pastors.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 11:54 AM on July 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


When my sister/bro-law had their rehearsal at the Catholic church where we'd gone all our lives, all of the groomsmen were dressed in Hawaiian shirts, including my dad who embraced it fully and high-fived my future bro-law as he did the hand-off after walking my sister down the aisle. It got a lot of wonderful laughs, and made it nice for everyone involved to remember that bit of hilariousness the following day for the "solemn" church ceremony.

I'm definitely going to be more of an "Offbeat Bride" myself if/when that happens, and I'm definitely keeping this in mind when I think of ways to have a fun and meaningful ceremony.

BTW, is there an auto-favorite option we can enable on ColdChef every time he posts a comment? 'Cause I wanna.
posted by TrishaLynn at 11:55 AM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Oh, great.

Another video that everyone says is soooo moving and sure to make you tear up that I'll go home and watch eventually and remain completely emotionless throughout despite my greatest of intentions otherwise. And then, when it's over, I'll sit back and reflect on what the hell is wrong with me. AWESOME.
posted by lunit at 12:00 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


So, I sort of flinched with revulsion at this too, if it's any comfort to the rest of you who did. And I've been thinking about why, and it took an embarassingly long time for me to remember that my wedding was perhaps equally unconventional but in the exactly opposite direction.

Going on the theory expressed above, that "in the reality of things weddings are usually tedious for those sitting 5 back in the pews, stand up, sit down, sing," we neglected to have a back five pews ceremony. The only people at the ceremony itself were our parents, our siblings (and their spouses and kids), and my grandparents (my wife's are all deceased). My wife had one bridesmaid, and I had one groomsman. In fact, my sister and her family were the only people at the ceremony who weren't at the rehearsal, only because they arrived a little too late for the rehearsal.

We felt like these were the people that had to be there, they were the only people we both truly cared about having at the ceremony. And why force everyone else (I have a very large extended family) to sit in the church, if none of us really want to be there? We're also sorta retiring type people, and it was a whole lot less stressful with a little tiny audience. Then we went and had a huge open air party at my wife's parents place, on top of a mountain in New York. Oh, and we roasted a whole pig and had a bonfire. It's been mentioned repeatedly since as a model of "wedding that was actually fun" to shoot for, so I think it went pretty well.

So right on to doing your wedding the way you want to do it. This way though? I'll see y'all at the reception. Thanks anyway.
posted by rusty at 12:02 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's hard to imagine being bored by this if you knew the people. Sure, maybe the 5th time at karaoke it's hard to laugh at your friends being fools, but I just can't see being in this audience, knowing/loving these people, and sitting there looking at my watch.

My first reaction: I would probably be great friends with these people if I met them.
posted by feloniousmonk at 12:04 PM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


I got a kick out of it.

It's okay if you didn't.
posted by starman at 12:12 PM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


BTW, is there an auto-favorite option we can enable on ColdChef every time he posts a comment? 'Cause I wanna.

Aw, you sweet talker, you.
posted by ColdChef at 12:12 PM on July 23, 2009


Good job but needs more nudity.
posted by storybored at 12:14 PM on July 23, 2009


Here is an itemized list of what makes me smile as I watch.

• The wrist flick of the usher on the right at he tosses the programs into the air at 0:31.
• First maids' hand-motion-change at 1:00.
• John Belushi-lookalike's entire performance from 1:05 to 1:30 - especially the flower! I bet this whole thing was his idea. His facial expressions from 2:50 to 3:05, namely the hand on the chin, confirm this in my mind.
• Waistcoat/Vest Guy's backwards-elbow-shoulder-knee-booty-stomp dance from 1:50 to 2:00.
• How the groom straightens his tie after somersaulting down the aisle at 3:07
• The "procession" of everyone up the aisle, everyone with a different job to do - arm-waving, arm-pumping, bringing up the rear
• Obvs, the slow-mo!
• How between 3:40 and 3:45, you can see Pigtail Girl and Probable Grandma clapping in unison
• The cackling guy, pretty much through the entire thing - it sounds like he has never actually laughed before in his life and has just discovered this amazing noise he can make when he feels truly happy
• The polite, metronomic swaying of the officiant at 3:50, in tune with the slow-mo
• The bride's insane toothy smile at 4:16 as she passes the fourth or fifth row in and decides that "my God, I have an amazing family and amazing friends!"
• The whole wedding party moving in unison, now facing the couple, at 4:35, and how the groomsmen have something to do - clap! - instead of stand there like mannequins, like normally happens
• How everyone takes a breather in the last few seconds - whew! Big smiles.

When you get married you aren't just uniting two people, you're fusing two whole giant circles of people. Imagine if half the people in that room had never even seen anyone other than the bride and the groom before - what an awesome way to signal to everyone that you want your marriage to be a link between all the wonderful people in their lives. How could you leave feeling anything other than joy?
posted by mdonley at 12:14 PM on July 23, 2009 [35 favorites]


Metafilter: proof that there are, in fact, people out there whose hearts are made of stone.
posted by shiu mai baby at 12:15 PM on July 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


Think how awesome it will be when they're old, and break out this footage for the grandkids.
posted by VikingSword at 12:19 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yeah. This is awesome.
posted by threetoed at 12:19 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Aw, that was awesome. Totally made me tear up, just watching how utterly happy they all were.
posted by sarcasticah at 12:28 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh, also: church aisles are, I can now see, great places to dance. No visual obstructions, a captive audience, and great acoustics.
posted by mdonley at 12:30 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I didn't think I'd like this video (which was posted by a friend on facebook this AM, so yes, expect to see the bride and groom on the Today Show sometime within the next week or so.) but I did. But, I cry at all weddings, even the fake ones in toilet paper commercials.

We had a totally boring solemn ceremony, straight out of our Methodist minister's book. It was so much easier to do it that way. But we did have a parade through town to the reception (led by a trumpeter playing Yellow Submarine), a pinata, and face painting.
posted by vespabelle at 12:33 PM on July 23, 2009


If only they had picked a better song for this.
posted by chunking express at 12:34 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


vespabelle: A parade?! That's amazing! Did you have floats? The mayor and fire department?
posted by mdonley at 12:38 PM on July 23, 2009


Along similar lines, here's a pretty great wedding toast.
posted by lunit at 12:38 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Weddings have gotten tougher and tougher as individualism and creativity trump tradition. Every couple is now faced with the prospect of designing a performance that expresses their personal tastes (hello there, one-upsmanship) while somehow integrating and indeed celebrating a hopelessly ideal family-and-friend-based community that is a little tough to come by in societies that have moved beyond village mode. What we miss is not necessarily the social order of previous generations but perhaps the templates. Those can be useful for complicated matters. But anyway. I think perhaps the key takeaway from this discussion is:

Different strokes for different folks.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 12:46 PM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Wow, I cannot understand the visceral reaction some of you get to seeing people be happy.

You know what this does? It makes the wedding unforgettable. I cannot understand people who just want to go to the same 45-minute repetitive claptrap.

But don't make me fly to your wedding to suffer through your five minute ironic joke dance

It was cute, and it was fun, and it was five minutes of this rather than 4 or so minutes of solemn boring-ass walking down the aisle. Give me this any day.
posted by graventy at 12:49 PM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


This would be my worst nightmare as the officiant: how the hell are you supposed to follow that up?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:53 PM on July 23, 2009


Every couple is now faced with the prospect of designing a performance that expresses their personal tastes (hello there, one-upsmanship)

No part of this looked like a self-conscious attempt to "outdo" other weddings; it looked like sheer, goofy joy. The "traditional" wedding industry, on the other hand, exists entirely on the implicit (and nearly explicit) idea that if you don't "outdo" everybody else's traditional wedding then you're not really married. These guys had an unforgettable five minutes of exhilaration and mutual joy shared with their nearest and dearest for the total added cost of $0. I think that's actually pretty subversive of the modern commercialized "traditional" wedding industry.
posted by yoink at 1:02 PM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Ah, so much better than Pachelbel's Canon! I love unexpected things at a wedding (or at a funeral, for that matter).

I know of a pianist once that played the old Batman theme for a ring bearer. I can only guess that it was the only way to get the kid to behave long enough to walk down the aisle.

Gotta love people being happy - and surprised.
posted by Man with Lantern at 1:06 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Loved this so hard. Thanks for posting!
posted by Kimberly at 1:15 PM on July 23, 2009


Some more observations:

• The bride, groom, and officiant are the only ones not in sunglasses aside from the ushers, who are a whole four minutes before the bride. It reinforces their primacy, and makes the "backup dancer" role more defined.
• Everyone's got a slightly different outfit. Ties and suits the same, dresses the same style. But not the same glasses, flowers, corsages, or shoes. Individuality. Non-tuxedoed individuality. And they look comfortable - no clothes too tight or anything like that. Good choices.
• The dresses of the bridesmaids don't indicate status or role - who's in charge? who's last in line?; the slow-mo does the same. It's like this primordial soup from which the relationship emerges.
• No one lip-synchs as the song plays. They are totally focused on the steps.
• The lyrics of the song, while pop-y and cheese-y, are great for a wedding, not-too-gender-specific aside from a couple "girls" and "ladies", and are incredibly positive. It's also a song focused on both the now of the wedding, the party, the ceremony- girl, where did you come from?, all we got is tonight - and the forever, the marriage and family and fractal-like expansion of human love weddings create - there's no one else that matters, forever on the dance floor. Weddings are time warps anyway - new babies, aforementioned Aunt Mabel from Fresno, friends who've never met and met the couple at different times, and all the attendees aren't at work or school.

I feel like the whole dance routine is the antithesis of awkward flailing about because you're too ironic (read: embarrassed) to enjoy yourself. Anxiety and anguish is banished. This would absolutely NOT work at a reception - because the audience wouldn't be focused enough. You're using the church's whole sit-down-and-look-at-this-IMPORTANT-STUFF thing to highlight how that is sooooo not your modus operandi. You're bringing out the most celebratory elements of life in a community of fellowship (or just plain community), and focusing all the attention on the couple - a five-minute buildup that is not a slideshow! - through the people who support them and make them happy and who are THRILLED to be able to do this for their friends.

And as for the guests not being able to wait a whole five minutes for the ceremony to start, think about all the lame stuff guests have to deal with while planning to attend: planning travel and accommodation, packing, getting kids ready, taking time off work perhaps, remembering to find something nice to wear, fighting for the one iron in the room on the morning of...and all that just...evaporates...when those programs go into the air and the ushers start dancing. I would be elated if I were a guest at this wedding because I wouldn't be thinking about the Jones account or grading all my students' exams on the plane home: I'd be thinking about what a good time I was having and it hasn't even started yet.

Overall, I think, there might not be a better way to thank the people who brought you together, urged them to call each other back after the first date, and listened to those furtive phone calls they each made: "But Mike, what if she's the one?! I think I she's the one, dude!", than to let them dance you up the aisle.
posted by mdonley at 1:31 PM on July 23, 2009 [31 favorites]


This is the kind of thing that my mother would purse her lips and not approve of.

But I found myself kind of verklempt about halfway through. Life is to be lived, and unvarnished joy like that is irresistible. So yay for them.
posted by ambrosia at 1:35 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Dancing was awful. Song was worse. Joy was incredibly infectious. I loved this!

If I ever get married (which I can't right now in my state), I want the Benny Hill theme as my recessional.
posted by trip and a half at 1:37 PM on July 23, 2009


This is the kind of thing that my mother would purse her lips and not approve of.

Sister, is that you?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:40 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was not expecting to tear up. Thanks, that was super fun.
posted by oreonax at 2:04 PM on July 23, 2009


- a five-minute buildup that is not a slideshow! -

Yes! Exactly!

Thank you for overthinking that dancing plate of beans, mdonley. You said what was in my brain.
posted by rtha at 2:12 PM on July 23, 2009


Ok, you talked me into appreciating it, mdonley. Watching it again through your eyes helped me see the earnestness and honest joy.

Thanks for taking the time to read what I wrote and take it seriously, rather than just griping about how I'm incapable of experiencing joy or whatever.
posted by Kwine at 2:17 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


The groom's sudden appearance and forward roll is not getting anywhere near enough love here. I have a total man crush on him right now. I also teared up, laughed and envied their moxie.
posted by minifigs at 2:19 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


minifigs, totally! He's way into his facial expressions; as they parade up the aisle there's this look-back-and-HEY-there's-all-these-people-I-better-keep-walking moment he does which is super-cute.
posted by mdonley at 2:52 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


C'mon people. I'm a miserable, misanthropic bastard, and even I thought this was cute.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:04 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh, I meant to say this about the 'giving the bride' away situation:

My sister asked me to give her away at her wedding, and I tried to talk her out of it, but she really wanted it, so I did. Our dad was (and is) still alive. He wasn't invited.
posted by trip and a half at 3:04 PM on July 23, 2009


(Point is: family dynamics vary.)
posted by trip and a half at 3:06 PM on July 23, 2009


I can be quite the cynical bitch and I generally dislike weddings and I hate autotune...but damn it if this didn't put the biggest smile on my face. Also, what kind of miserable, boring fuck has such a strong, negative reaction to this video?
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:12 PM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


I wish I could favourite this again.
posted by deborah at 3:16 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


That was sweet and goofy. I'd love to know these people.

My stepmom hates ceremonies. The only day her and my dad could agree on was halloween. So, a small, outdoors, family only ceremony on halloween was held. Everyone dressed in costume. I think my dad was a character from Princess Bride, or Igor.
posted by shinyshiny at 3:28 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I shed tears for a different reason, for seeing yet another of our most solemn Christian ceremonies being desecrated and mocked by the youth.
posted by Flashman at 8:54 AM on July 23 [4 favorites +] [!]

What a craptastic threadshit. Did you really shed tears, or is that typical Xtian hyperbole?


Of course I shed tears! Would I otherwise admit such a shameful thing, that an internet video had reduced me to so many manly, Christian tears?
posted by Flashman at 3:39 PM on July 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


Also, what kind of miserable, boring fuck has such a strong, negative reaction to this video?

I'm guessing it's the same miserable boring fucks who are capable of independent thought, yet hold an opinion different to your own about the video. Did I win the quiz question?
posted by mdevore at 3:52 PM on July 23, 2009


I'm guessing it's the same miserable boring fucks who are capable of independent thought, yet hold an opinion different to your own about the video. Did I win the quiz question?

Hey, I'm just expressing my independent thought!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:57 PM on July 23, 2009


Works for me.
posted by mdevore at 4:03 PM on July 23, 2009


Man, reading this thread bummed me out. So I watched the video again, and got happy.

Look, I've been married 17 years. The wedding ceremony took about 60 minutes of that 17 years. In the scheme of things, it's been a pretty unimportant 60 minutes.

What has been important is that Mrs. FfejL & I are both happier together than when we are apart. Watching this video, I'm pretty sure that's true for this couple, too.
posted by FfejL at 4:26 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


This would be my worst nightmare as the officiant: how the hell are you supposed to follow that up?



"Mawwiage..."
posted by darkstar at 4:30 PM on July 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


"Mawwiage..."

A good friend had his minister do that bit at his wedding. Very somber up until that point, so it was out of left field. Totally changed the mood -- for the better. It was all I could do to not stand up and shout "Man and wife! Man and wife!"
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:46 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


My 93-year-old grandmother died last night after 5+ years of declining health and a week-long hospital stay during which she literally could not stop writhing in pain. So I guess today, of all days, is the one and only day that I feel I have a unique, clear perspective on this.

You can talk about white people dancing and overdoing the cute and trying to be too precious and the evils of autotune and all that other stuff. However, all of it is irrelevant. Any of our opinions on any of those things is irrelevant. Here is what's relevant. Here is the point:

In life, there is joy.

Where, when, and how it manifests is really none of our business. We should simply be grateful for its existence.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:02 PM on July 23 [29 favorites +] [!]


Joy.; ok. no problem. Tedious? problem.
posted by Postroad at 2:12 PM on July 23 [+] [!]


This is now my personal low Metafilter moment. Mudpuppie, I am sorry for your loss, and yes to joy!
posted by thinkpiece at 4:55 PM on July 23, 2009


Very sweet but the song should have been "Shake Your Tailfeather".
posted by msalt at 4:57 PM on July 23, 2009


Mdonley, no floats, just two kids as flag bearers, the out of tune (due to the cold) trumpet, and all our guests walking the two or three blocks from the minister's house to the Hope (AK) Social Hall.
posted by vespabelle at 5:02 PM on July 23, 2009


Awesome, romantic and joyful. Every entrance should start like this, to every location.
posted by smoke at 5:03 PM on July 23, 2009


This thread has become a hell of a litmus test. I'm going to go watch the video again; it's more fun.
posted by infidelpants at 5:11 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I came prepared to hate and I left with a big-ass smile on my face.

Thanks!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:17 PM on July 23, 2009


I am reminded of a line from the Church of England liturgy which goes; "Sing to the Lord a joyful song!"

This used to be a source of great frustration for me (1/8th of the church choir) that the joyful songs in question were the same tedious hymns written by various vicars and ministers for the last couple of hundred years and adopted as official. Not one of them sounded particularly joyful. I'm aware of the limitations of hymns - they have to be played on the simplest instruments and be sung by untrained singers.

But I loved this so much! So they weren't singing. Bah. Who cares. Because there was plenty of joy.
posted by ninazer0 at 5:36 PM on July 23, 2009


Having at one point seen literally hundreds of weddings as former wedding videographer (a good gig for college kid back in the day) I can tell you this kind of thing is a rare jewel. Many people try to be cool or cute, but due to logistics or the presence of a couple of spoilsports (some appear to be here in this thread) it usually fails miserably. The key is not giving a fuck and doing what you want anyway. If that means telling your stick in the mud father-in-law to fuck right off then that is what you do. And that what these kids probably did and it's awesome.

Most weddings are terrible BECAUSE of the so-called traditions. People feel compelled to invite relatives and friends they don't like and who bring negative energy. People allow drama to consume them rather than focus on having fun. Also. The worst weddings I ever saw were the ones that bogged down "pulled out all stops" in the traditional sense. BIG MONEY. Doves. Orchestras and shit. Elaborate decorations and formal wear, huge congregations. Basically a "movie" wedding. Most of those people I can tell you as a fact were miserable the entire time.

The best weddings, in terms of how happy people seemed to be, were ones where people simply cut loose, made due with what they had, were creative, and fostered the right happy energy, from the top on down.

I saw one where everybody was either on inner tubes or on a large awning covered pontoon floating on a lake. And at the end the wedding party jumped in the water and they had a BBQ. Those people didn't have two nickles to rub together. But god damn was that fun.

At my wedding we instructed a friend to spread the rumor that Wendy and I were gonna sing Wind Beneath My Wings and Now and Forever to each other. Which of course was not true. However, it lead to a near frenzy of excitement - and for all the wrong reasons... like, OMG this is gonna be an awesome train wreck. Literally everybody brought a video camera to the ready. It got to the point that the quartet actually started to play the intro to Wind Beneath My Wings. And at the moment I got the mike, pause, cleared my throat, and then I handed the mike to the officiant and he just turned and said "Suckers."
posted by tkchrist at 6:07 PM on July 23, 2009 [15 favorites]


I just cannot stand to watch people act without shame. I'm completely unable to sit through a play or god forbid a musical for some reason. I always seem to want to tear my eyes out and run or perhaps set the stage on fire.
posted by tehloki at 6:09 PM on July 23, 2009


That is a cool idea and full points to them for having the courage to do jump around like fools in front of their friends.
To those nay sayers, lighten up, a wedding is for the people getting married if they want to do a fun dance instead of some normal walk the aisle, then that is their day and what they want.
I've done a wedding in Japan and New Zealand (Need to please both sets of families happy) and both of ours were no tradtional in theme, and were more of a fun gathering than the out of the box wedding formula. And the amount of comments we got from both weddings of people saying how fun they were..
posted by Merlin The Happy Pig at 6:12 PM on July 23, 2009


There is not enough [nonsexual, just joyful] dancing in our [American, mainstream] world. Good for them for this contribution! I would so do this at my [hypothetical] wedding, if I knew people who were willing [and could dance just a little...].
posted by bluestocking at 6:33 PM on July 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I just cannot stand to watch people act without shame. I'm completely unable to sit through a play or god forbid a musical for some reason. I always seem to want to tear my eyes out and run or perhaps set the stage on fire.

I have this same problem! I think there was an askme about it...ah, here it is.
posted by kathrineg at 6:46 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Now THAT'S what a wedding should be: an affirmation of life and exuberance and celebration and the sheer joy at being alive and finding someone you love to spend your life together. Instead of mimicking some Victorian ideal of a celebratory ceremony, they made it their own and I was clapping along with them by the end.

Couldn't have said it any better, darkstar!
posted by jrchaplin at 6:51 PM on July 23, 2009


This was so fucking cool, it makes me want to reenact funky weird weddings with my wife every year on our anniversary.

ND¢, shut up and dance!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:02 PM on July 23, 2009


I rose slowly from my splintered old rocking chair on my porch, lifted a gnarled, clawlike fist as the froth began to accumulate at the sides of my mouth, launched myself down the stairs on bandy, shaking legs, but then stopped halfway and inexplicably found myself enjoying it. Thanks!
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:12 PM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


tehloki: "I just cannot stand to watch people act without shame. I'm completely unable to sit through a play or god forbid a musical for some reason. I always seem to want to tear my eyes out and run or perhaps set the stage on fire."

Yea, I didn't actually even make it more than 1:30 through it before I had to turn it off. But I have a very low embarrassment threshold.
posted by octothorpe at 7:25 PM on July 23, 2009


I can still be curmudgeonly though: one does not walk down the aisle, but the nave.
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:30 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Feel good video of the day!
posted by futureisunwritten at 7:31 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've always had a problem with wedding ceremonies because "the most joyous day" tends to make so many people miserable. I'm all for something that can make a whole room full of people laugh together and share a silly moment. It was fun that the wedding party commited to the concept, but I was more impressed that the whole audience seemed to be having a great time. I never see that at weddings.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 7:35 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I just cannot stand to watch people act without shame. I'm completely unable to sit through a play or god forbid a musical for some reason. I always seem to want to tear my eyes out and run or perhaps set the stage on fire.

It's funny, because this really resonates with me. Except that reaction did not kick in during this video. Didn't even twitch. I'm extremely grateful.
posted by rtha at 7:38 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Did anyone notice the very stern, maybe scared, look on the groom (starting at 3:07)?

I got the feeling that the groom is a big ham, with a great sense of humor. Watch the part where he straightens his tie after the somersault -- it was perfect timing, a perfect, subtle comic touch. I don't think he was scared at all. I agree that it must have been his idea, and that the bride was an excellent sport.

I've watched it several times, amazed by how well executed the whole thing was. They must have rehearsed quite a bit for this. Everyone picked something different to do for their moment in the spotlight, and the coordination was remarkable.

I love it.
posted by jayder at 7:40 PM on July 23, 2009


I think the wedding couple should do exactly what they wish, whether a classic wedding or this. It's their day. Whatever makes them happy.

I really tried to like this. It was cringeworthy from the beginning and never got better. But it wasn't for me. But I don't get all the tears in the thread. My heart must be made of stone.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 7:45 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Does SYTL = say yes to life?
posted by ohyouknow at 7:59 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I love the woman in yellow the second to last row as she bolts upright in surprise and then is suddenly with it. So many brilliant moments, but every one of them is so goddamn beautifully dorky. Thanks for this link.
posted by greasy_skillet at 8:29 PM on July 23, 2009


Everyone saying the dancing was bad - you are the people who are killing dancing. Dancing makes people happy and healthy. They did great; it was rehearsed and also fresh, and they were all clearly having a blast.
posted by theora55 at 8:44 PM on July 23, 2009


Finally saw it. Awesome.

Favourite part -- and it was a laugh for me all the way through until this -- was the groom taking the bride's arm and going up the last several steps together. Unexpected tearing up.

Wonderful.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:18 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


You've made me a very happy little vegemite.
posted by nonspecialist at 9:23 PM on July 23, 2009


Fun video. Thanks for that.
posted by snwod at 9:35 PM on July 23, 2009


OK, that was awesome, though I wish they'd picked a song that wasn't written by a guy that beat up his girlfriend.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:40 PM on July 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


To add to my earlier comment, now that I've watched it a second time, a few thoughts occurred to me:

I don't think I've ever gotten choked up by a wedding ceremony, but here I am doing just that at a short little video of a wedding of complete strangers. Then I realized that this clip evoked in me the same kind of expansive feeling I got when I saw the "Where the Hell is Matt" videos. Something about the utter humanity and joie de vivre so manifestly on display that is at once both effervescent and deeply touching. Finally, while a lot of folks have dissed on the music, I have to say that it seemed an excellent choice for this.

Ahhh, I love people.
posted by darkstar at 9:42 PM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


After watching it a few more times, I want to expand on my earlier comment. At about 4:21, when you are able to see the bride's face more clearly, there's an unmistakable presence of pure, unadulterated joy in her face. How can anyone be so viscerally opposed to that? It's like spitting at the sight of a smiling child.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 10:20 PM on July 23, 2009


OK, I watched it a second time, and Jeez, people! Even the really old hunchback lady and the ancient guy in the powder blue suit were smiling and clapping.

I hope to wear a Speed Suit to my great grand-daughter's wedding
posted by dirigibleman at 10:22 PM on July 23, 2009


I was reading this thread while listening to a bunch of dance records record into my computer.

Most of these records I've played to many a happy crowd. They all make me think of people dancing, which is among the best things in life.

I can't believe "these people can't dance" is a complaint. Dance is joy. If they're dancing, they can dance. They might not look sexy or cool to you, but they can dance. Cause they are.

also mdonley is my new spouse. spousing is the new favoriting
posted by flaterik at 10:47 PM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


Wonderful, absolutely wonderful.
posted by EatTheWeak at 11:42 PM on July 23, 2009


Groove is in the heart.
posted by dirigibleman at 11:49 PM on July 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


Looks like Jill & Kevin are for real. Haven't found any interview video yet.

I love how this blurb says she had "five grooms." Now, that's non-traditional.
posted by Miko at 4:57 AM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Want to feel absolutely wonderful? Sit next to someone you love, click this video link, and say, "hey, there's something I want you to see..."
posted by elmer benson at 5:30 AM on July 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


The couple is on (or will be on depending on your time zone) Good Morning America this morning.
posted by nooneyouknow at 5:31 AM on July 24, 2009


This just reminds me of how lame our wedding was because her grandmother was footing the bill (and letting us keep the remainder, which we needed) and thus we had to do everything the "normal" way. I insisted on a top hat and tails, but that was as goofy as I was allowed to go.
posted by Scattercat at 5:46 AM on July 24, 2009


Yup, it's gone over the top. It had 88,000 hits yesterday, when I first saw this thread. By the time I was ready for bed (10:00 pm central) it had 195,000. Now it's pushing towards 1.3 million, the next morning. Here's hoping they can cash in enough to add on a rec room with a dance floor.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:17 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I finally got a chance to watch this with sound. Now I'm in tears at work.

I've been to a couple weddings since my own, and although I'm obviously biased, I thought ours was much, much better. Now I don't know - these people might have one up on us.

Also, I can't believe this went from 70K views yesterday to over 1M today. Talk about viral.
posted by desjardins at 6:17 AM on July 24, 2009


Late to the party.

1. Today is my fifth wedding anniversary. This was just the thing. Thanks, MeFi!

2. Silly white people dancing to an Auto-Tune'd Chris Brown song. ("Poor people music": fantastic, I'm keeping that one.) All the ingredients were in place for me to hate this video. Nonetheless? I cried. By about 2 minutes in I was weeping like a seven-year-old girl who's lost her favorite My Little Pony.

3. We could never have pulled this off, and really that's because it's just not us. We had a really quite traditional outdoor ceremony in which we both neurotically, possessively, micromanaged the details very, very successfully. Even those of our guests who normally hate weddings loved our wedding. That's how we roll.

4. I love knowing there are people out there who do it the way these silly dancing white people did it. God bless 'em, every one.

5. I will never forget watching the minister rock along to the beat. Utterly. Priceless.
posted by PsychoTherapist at 6:21 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


As far as the song goes - it's likely that Chris Brown didn't actually write it. So although he is a woman beater and thus by definition an utter asshole, the lyrics are dead-on perfect for a wedding (It's like I waited my whole life... for this one night...). If we hadn't had a bunch of old white people as guests at our wedding who would have been all WTF at hip hop, I would have definitely played it at the reception (which was before the Rihanna incident). Actually, I fiercely regret I didn't have it played anyway.

When we renew our vows in 10 or 20 years, I'm definitely doing something off the chain like this.
posted by desjardins at 6:22 AM on July 24, 2009


It's already up on GMA's website.
posted by Miko at 6:23 AM on July 24, 2009


I just cannot stand to watch people act without shame.

There is a moment that most parents go through, a sad moment when you realize your child has become self-conscious and can no longer act with complete freedom in front of everyone and anyone. It arrives around 5 or 6 years of age. At 4 your child will sing and dance cheerfully, energetically and without any thought of how others might judge. He or she will dance for grandpa, the old lady down the street, Aunt and Uncle. At some point, though, the thought of how it appears to others kicks in and the sheer, unfettered desire to perform for anyone is gone. You might catch them unawares, singing to a hairbrush or you might cajole them into being silly with just mommy, but that carefree wildness is gone forever. I wish that we could all turn-off our self-consciouness from time to time and act with wild abandonment and watch others without feeling shame.

The worst weddings I ever saw were the ones that bogged down "pulled out all stops" in the traditional sense. BIG MONEY. Doves. Orchestras and shit. Elaborate decorations and formal wear, huge congregations. Basically a "movie" wedding. Most of those people I can tell you as a fact were miserable the entire time.

I worked for a while as the wedding co-coordinator for my church. I enjoyed it so much because of the Brides; interacting with them was endlessly fascinating. Brides are usually so radiant, glowing with joy-- as though their happiness cannot be contained within their bodies but must spill out and warm all those surrounding them. However, there were times when I met Brides that were very self-possessed and even calculating. These "professional" Brides never seemed very happy, but rather acted liked Generals conducting a war. Orders were barked, squadrons of assistants were unleashed, elaborate plans were unfolded and god help you if some tiny detail went wrong. Often tears were shed but not by these General Brides, but rather by their Maids of Honor or their mothers or their flower girls because harsh words were spoken and someone got their feelings hurt. If I were laying odds, I would bet the blushing Brides-- the ones who laughed when the ring bearer got the hiccups or the home made cake cracked down the middle-- had a more than 50% chance of happy ever after, but the General Brides would probably have a better chance at making themselves and their mates miserable when life did not turn out exactly as they ordered it to.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:27 AM on July 24, 2009 [16 favorites]


I love knowing there are people out there who do it the way these silly dancing white people did it. God bless 'em, every one.

I shit on this video yesterday. And I meant it: I would not want to be in either the bridal party or the pews for this display. But I want to clarify, because, while I am an asshole, I'm not that kind of asshole (and the characterization that hating this = hating joy burns my biscuits). If this makes you and your guests happy, rock the fuck on. I'll meet you at the bar.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:44 AM on July 24, 2009


That was really great. And obviously his idea. She was a great sport for putting up with it.

Not sure if someone else noted it, but it was the other way around.
posted by Miko at 6:56 AM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Looks like Jill & Kevin are for real. Haven't found any interview video yet.

TODAY show interview [video | 04:02].
posted by ericb at 8:19 AM on July 24, 2009


This MSNBC writeup has some of the detail too.
posted by Miko at 8:46 AM on July 24, 2009


Ha. The entire wedding party will be back on TV tomorrow.
posted by roll truck roll at 8:50 AM on July 24, 2009


Not sure if someone else noted it, but it was the other way around.

Yeah, I've been meaning to ask - or I've been wondering, anyway - why some people assumed that the bride had to be talked into it, and that it wasn't her idea. Because that's not what I assumed. I couldn't tell who might've come up with the idea, and it wasn't obvious to me from the body language of either the bride or groom that one was more reluctant than the other. They both seemed delighted and totally into it.
posted by rtha at 9:03 AM on July 24, 2009


I find it very hard to believe they rehearsed this once. Maybe together just once, but a few of the pairs walking down the aisle had to have practiced moves together more than once. Or they are all just good dancers.
posted by Big_B at 9:07 AM on July 24, 2009


Super sweet!
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:11 AM on July 24, 2009


People made a lot of weird assumptions about this couple based on almost no information, including: whose idea it was, how the discussions about doing it went, how much they practiced (in the interview they said they only ran through it once or twice), whether or not the bride's father was alive and the state of the bride's relationship with him, and the saddest of all in my opinion, that they would totally be best friends forever with these people if they happened to meet them in real life. Just a quick bit of advice: if you are having imagining friendships with strangers you see in youtube videos, it is time to see to your home life cause something ain't right.
posted by ND¢ at 9:13 AM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Is it just me, or was it the tears blinding my eyes yesterday a.m. when I saw the post and the thread was just beginning, but do wedding walks down the aisle/nave often include sunglasses?

I only noticed them watching the clips on Today, etc.

And Happy Anniversary, PsychoTherapist.
posted by emhutchinson at 9:20 AM on July 24, 2009


Sorry, meant to say "dances ," not "walks"

Somber walks with sunglasses would be way too "Men in Black"
posted by emhutchinson at 9:22 AM on July 24, 2009


the saddest of all in my opinion, that they would totally be best friends forever with these people if they happened to meet them in real life. Just a quick bit of advice: if you are having imagining friendships with strangers you see in youtube videos, it is time to see to your home life cause something ain't right.

I'm utterly baffled at some people's desire to signal how "above it all" they are with regard to this clip. I mean, of course you don't have to enjoy it (degustibus non est disputandem and all that), but what could possibly be wrong about seeing a bunch of people having a great time and saying to yourself "their idea of fun looks a lot like my idea of fun--I bet if I knew those people I'd find them a fun crowd"?

No one is saying that you have to agree or that this has to be your definition of fun, but how can it possibly be a sign of some sort of psychological trauma (as you seem to be suggesting) to have empathized with it? Try to imagine a video of people having whatever your idea of a great time is (I'm guessing...sitting in the corner of a room criticizing everyone else's taste in music, clothes and friends?)--wouldn't you think "hey, I could fit right in there!"?
posted by yoink at 9:47 AM on July 24, 2009


No I would sit in a corner of the corner criticizing the people criticizing the other people AND HATING FUN!
posted by ND¢ at 9:56 AM on July 24, 2009


I wish that we could all turn-off our self-consciousness from time to time and act with wild abandonment and watch others without feeling shame.

Which is where the open bar comes in handy...
posted by darkstar at 10:00 AM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Ha. The entire wedding party will be back on TV tomorrow.

Wow, that's a sad, sad commentary on the Today Show: "we're so desperate for content people like we'll reenact a popular Youtube video!!"
posted by LooseFilter at 10:28 AM on July 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I think I want to invite Joyful Woman in Rear Left Pews in Yellow to my wedding just to spread that infectious smile. Damn.
posted by mdonley at 10:40 AM on July 24, 2009


No I would sit in a corner of the corner criticizing the people criticizing the other people AND HATING FUN!

I didn't say you "hated fun"--I said that this obviously wasn't your idea of fun. I also said that that is fine. What I don't understand is why it's so important to you to find fault with those who do think it fun. When you get to the point of suggesting in all seriousness that those who say "wow, these look like a great bunch of people" must have some kind of psychological problems, you seem to me to have gone to a rather dark and rather sad space.
posted by yoink at 10:41 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Look I wasn't trying to say the people who said that had psychological problems, I was simply trying to make them feel bad about themselves.
posted by ND¢ at 10:46 AM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


(as a follow-up to that, it amazes to me to see the continual transition of the web, from "internet culture" to "culture".)

Also, video was awesome, watched it three times yesterday and with friends last night. Thanks to the bride & groom for sharing their joy!
posted by LooseFilter at 10:49 AM on July 24, 2009


Wow, that's a sad, sad commentary on the Today Show: "we're so desperate for content people like we'll reenact a popular Youtube video!!"

Not really. This is their target audience. Remember: this is a show where the prols (flyover state tourists) stand for hours behind the working set, holding signs and waving to the cameras.

The people in this video and in the church are no ndifferent. They are The Today Show's target demo.
posted by Zambrano at 10:51 AM on July 24, 2009


Did you actually just use the word "flyover" unironically? Good job.
posted by roll truck roll at 10:59 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Or they are all just good dancers.

This is another thing I'm finding funny - that some people believe you couldn't put this dance together in an hour. Of course you could. It's not that complicated! I've done similar stuff when putting together goofball 'talent nights' with teenagers as a camp counselor and arts program teacher, with friends as stunts, and so on. I don't even have any formal dance training, and it's do-able. The bride, in the MSNBC video, says she loves to dance and danced in college. So she probably has some moves, and it's likely that people she'd choose as friends and partner do, too. This skit/dance is not a technically challenging venture. Most of the pairs are improvising or doing a move you could practice for 5 minutes and make it work (at least, as well as it did in the video), and they simply worked out who would process when, and then ran through the whole-group piece at the end.

THis makes me echo Theora55 about what's happened to social dance in our culture. If this looks hard to you, get out more and shake your booty. Everyone knows how to dance. And you learn to dance by dancing. It makes me sad that this seems so challenging to people who view it that you couldn't imagine coming up with this after an entire hour. Let go and live a little. Moving your body is a good time.
posted by Miko at 11:07 AM on July 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


Here's how the dance plan went: Each pair went down the aisle once in their own style, then they circled around to the lobby again and went together in a pack. Groom entered through the pack, then everyone made their way to their places at the front of the hall, and the bride danced in. Each person only had to do one improvisational walk, and then the group dance, which consisted of basically three consecutive moves repeated several times each.

It breaks down like this:

Ushers 1 and 2: throw confetti in the air, then do independent goofy hip-hop style moves

Ladies Red and Pink 1
: Series of moves repeated twice, like hip-hip, foot sweep-foot sweep, elbows-elbows, row-row - basic club dancing moves you could learn from a music video or on the floor

Vest Guy 1: A few step-touch, step-touches, then some hoppy grapevines, floor touch, handstand (pretty cool!), strut

Guy D and Lady Fuschia
: pretty basic, stepping forward with John Travolta arms (guy) and circling bouquet (lady), one spin in the middle

Vest Guy 2 and Usher 3: independent bowleggy walks with cowboy arms

Lady Pink 2 and Vest Guy 3: walk and spin, wave arms

Lady Pink 3 and Lady Purple 1
: grab hands, pull and alternate places

Lady Purple 2 and Vest Guy 4: walk with hip sway, do cow-milking motion with hands

Entire Group reconvenes at the back and parades forward, doing step-touch, step-touch all the way, then parts for Groom

Groom does forward somersault, then walks back and forth swinging arms

Everyone does 4 more step-touches, then does yoga-style arm reaches, 2 on each side, alternating all the way up the aisle

Everyone arrives at front and does slo-mo "seaweed"

Women move slowly to left, men slowly to right

Bride boogies in

Groom meets bride and they step-touch up together; Everyone shifts their weight side to side as they watch.

Yeah, if you couldn't learn this dance in an hour, or improvise your way up the aisle of a church, I recommend physical therapy.
posted by Miko at 11:31 AM on July 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Want to know how good this was? Even the YouTube comments where positive.

And, man, is this thread ever deserving of the Plate O' Beans award.
posted by edgeways at 11:33 AM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I wonder if Jill and Kevin would be slightly disappointed to find out that 337,256 of their 1.6 million views were just a bunch of bean-plating?

On repeated viewing, Ladies Red and Pink 1 rock my world. I predict great things for those two.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:38 AM on July 24, 2009


One of the articles claims that you can't tell that they aren't professional - except that you totally can, and that's more than 1/2 the charm. The dancing wedding linked from Off-Beat Bride above had better choreography and performance, but didn't have quite as much sheer exhuberance (except for the kids, who were awesome) or silliness.
posted by jb at 11:38 AM on July 24, 2009


I've only been to one wedding of people my age (ie slightly under thirty) and was completely and utterly terrified by the lack of originality present. (Local DJ, Electric Slide? Come on...) This, however, strikes me as capturing exactly what my generation thinks would be an awesome wedding, which really makes me deeply happy.
posted by Football Bat at 12:28 PM on July 24, 2009


Ogre Lawless:
This would be my worst nightmare as the officiant: how the hell are you supposed to follow that up?

Um, by marrying them?

You sound like an emcee who's upset that the main act was so funny, no one remembers his emceeing...
posted by IAmBroom at 12:34 PM on July 24, 2009


Or rather, you would be an emcee who's upset that the main act was so funny, no one remembers his emceeing...
posted by IAmBroom at 12:35 PM on July 24, 2009


I still like that video where the bridge and groom start dancing to I Like Big Butts, instead of doing some lame-ass slow dance. Though, it might be because the bride is so busty. Also, who doesn't like I Like Big Butts?
posted by chunking express at 12:43 PM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sweet! According to local news, they were married at Christ Lutheran Church, near the Minnesota State Capitol and just over a mile from my house.

Always thought it was a neat looking building. And now I know it is not necessarily populated by the stereotypical reserved bunch of Lutherans like those of my youth, who would find clapping in church to be highly inappropriate (and don't even get them started about that young pastor who played guitar).
posted by superna at 1:01 PM on July 24, 2009


Metafilter: if this is the best of the web, I'm turning the web off.
:D
posted by ruelle at 1:02 PM on July 24, 2009


That was so funny and cute, but apparently they're going to do it again live for the benefit of Meredith Viera, which quickly makes it silly. Can the news media not ruin everything adorable?
posted by anniecat at 1:03 PM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I wish I could go back in time and watch this for the first time again.
posted by Bukvoed at 2:27 PM on July 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


That thing is pure happiness. I love how everyone's personality shines through. They're all characters, wonderful characters. I think the bride's exuberant smile toward the end was really the best part.
posted by naju at 2:43 PM on July 24, 2009


This is so wonderful! A wedding should be a celebration. I hope they have a long, happy, dance-filled life together.
posted by dejah420 at 3:51 PM on July 24, 2009


That was so funny and cute, but apparently they're going to do it again live for the benefit of Meredith Viera, which quickly makes it silly. Can the news media not ruin everything adorable?

Don't worry. No one watches weekend Today.
posted by mathlete at 4:10 PM on July 24, 2009


My fiancee sent me this in the hopes I would ok it for our wedding. I quickly nixed the idea with the reasoning that none of my groomsman are what you would call dancers and it would create a mutually exclusive conflict between her wish for me to be completely sober at the ceremony and my inability to dance when not inebriated...
posted by schyler523 at 4:14 PM on July 24, 2009


I can't understand the derision being expressed in this thread. I thought the whole performance was great.

But I cringe at the thought of what this will unleash in the wedding industry --- Express Your Individuality! Purchase Our Exuberance® Funky Processional Kit, which includes a training video, a CD with ten toe-tapping dance hits appropriate for a wedding, 200 multicolored programs to be flung in the air, assorted sunglasses, and unique dance steps for up to twelve of your wedding party to start your wedding with a unique, dancing processional that your guests will never forget!
posted by jayder at 4:27 PM on July 24, 2009 [10 favorites]


But I cringe at the thought of what this will unleash in the wedding industry

Oh god yes. Anyone who tries to imitate this in a "well, OUR youtube video will get even more hits" kind of way has utterly missed the point of what makes this so great.
posted by yoink at 4:41 PM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anyone who tries to imitate this in a "well, OUR youtube video will get even more hits" kind of way has utterly missed the point of what makes this so great.

Seems to be already happening with the funny first dances. "Evolution of Wedding Dance"? Really?
posted by roll truck roll at 4:55 PM on July 24, 2009


Yeah, there are so many of those 'funny first dance' videos on YouTube now. Though, I'm not sure people doing them are trying to go viral. I think it's probably more people stealing other peoples ideas for funny things to do at your wedding.
posted by chunking express at 5:00 PM on July 24, 2009


When my pastor's second son got married, the groom and groomsmen came in bopping to the Bee Gee's "Stayin' Alive." It was awesome.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:44 PM on July 24, 2009


Oh, and yes, it was at my church and Dad was the officiant. Cool guy.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:45 PM on July 24, 2009


Everyone knows how to dance. And you learn to dance by dancing. It makes me sad that this seems so challenging to people who view it that you couldn't imagine coming up with this after an entire hour.

Heh, I had a long discussion about that this morning. I believe that free form modern dance-- that is everything from about the 60's through today except Disco-- has made people too self-conscious because there are no rules. People want rules, they want direction. For hundreds of years Americans performed Virginia Reels and foxtrots and waltzes and Charlestons in which specific steps were learned and correctly executed. Everyone was expected to dance and most people, once they learned the steps, could have fun without worrying that they were looking goofy. Now anything goes and very few people are confident enough to pull it off. It is rather like telling someone to get up and sing a song but they have to make up their own melody.

I remember back in the 70's in high school when the football jocks looked absurd trying to dance-- they were far too stiff and concerned about preserving their machismo to go with the flow and have a good time. Things really haven't changed much in 35 years.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:01 PM on July 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


People want rules, they want direction.

I think this explains why line dances are so popular. Call it cheesy, but people really do love doing "The Electric Slide".
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:19 PM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I agree with you, SLG. I've competed in ballroom dancing (and done pretty well, too). I've got hella moves when it comes to waltzing, foxtrot, swing, tango, rumba, salsa, etc. I've taught folks and have no trepidation hopping out on the dance floor and having a grand old time.

BUT...turn on the pop music and have everybody free-form and I feel like I suddenly don't know what the hell I'm doing. Maybe I need to just go take some lessons in what passes for modern dancing, these days...
posted by darkstar at 9:11 PM on July 24, 2009


Now anything goes and very few people are confident enough to pull it off. It is rather like telling someone to get up and sing a song but they have to make up their own melody.

You're talking about dance moves, but this was exactly my point about cultural templates. I think these folks had an honestly wonderful time, and I bet the reception was a blast with tears and hugs and lots of don'tchya-remember-whens, and more power to them for it. But for many people not so performance-wired, having an honest, clear-cut tradition to hew to would actually be freeing. Unfortunately a lot of us don't have that anymore. Please don't misunderstand my use of "tradition" to mean anything about the matrimonial industrial complex. I'm trying to imagine something authentic and relevant for those of us who grew up without the connections to the past or to communities that were more common in previous eras. Latchkey suburban kids, can I get an amen.

One other point. I think what *makes* this video is that the bride didn't step it up a notch with her entrance. I was expecting some kind of crazy robot dance or acrobat stuff with a spotlight for the finale. But it's her slightly reserved, slightly modest but not unconfident dancing moves, or lack of guile, or something, that is really charming--and unexpected given the buildup. That's why it feels honest to me, and why everyone thinks they'd like these guys if they met them.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 10:00 PM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


here's Amy's wedding toast
Thank you, I had forgotten why I hated musical theater people.

As for Jill and Kevin: I'm sure we could get into an interesting discussion here about semi-ironic appropriation of black music and all that, and I am normally one to go there, but...I can't stop grinning long enough.
posted by naoko at 10:30 PM on July 24, 2009


People want rules, they want direction.

I completely agree. I had never done much dancing growing up, but as an adult I got into swing dancing and found it absolutely exhilarating - for one thing, you have a common language, so you can step into a dance with any partner at all and make something beautiful happen, even if you met them five seconds ago. But there is still plenty of room for individual style and improvisation - within the understood parameters of the dance vocabulary and the music. It's very satisfying - in a way similar to how writing a poem in a classic form is more challenging, but also sometimes more powerful, than writing free verse, dancing within a style that has a structure and history can allow for both individuality and creativity and the security if knowing you're doing something that fits within the style parameters.

The other wonderful thing about partner dancing is that it teaches amazing things about physical connection and communication. The miraculous experience of watching it is in watching two people do something in concert without having to speak about it or plan it (ballroom competition aside!). After I had been swing dancing for a while, when I went to a concert and watched people sort of hopping up and down and wiggling in place, isolated and solo, it started to look kind of lonely and awkward to me. Of course, there are a lot of wonderful solo dancing forms and moves, but I had never noticed the difference before. The idea of dancing alone wasn't all that common before the 1950s - there were some solo forms across various cultures, including Western culture which had step-dancing and buck dancing and a few other solo styles - but after centuries of dances organized for groups and partners, the idea of just hopping around by yourself was not embedded in pop culture in too many places. The solo boogie thing really came out of jitterbug in the late 40s/ early 50s when Lindy Hop developed and some dancers started throwing in a "breakaway" where they let go of each other and solo'ed for a minute before coming back together. That kind of thing only progressed as the 60s counterculture movement promoted ideas of celebrating the individual, casting off hidebound rules, and operating in a free-form, unstructured fashion.

While there are certainly some great things about that, what's a little sad is that free-form, individual dancing became the norm, and partnered dancing within a style became dorky. That meant that as young people grew up, they didn't learn how to partner dance or social dance, didn't think it was cool, didn't get any practice at it, and if they were uncomfortable just shaking their body, didn't really learn any dance methods at all in any kind of guided manner.
posted by Miko at 7:08 AM on July 25, 2009 [4 favorites]


'm sure we could get into an interesting discussion here about semi-ironic appropriation of black music and all that,

It's pop music - fully Creolized already.
posted by Miko at 7:09 AM on July 25, 2009


Sadly, this wonderful thing has already devolved into teh suck.

*sigh*
posted by chihiro at 9:31 AM on July 25, 2009


Damn. At 4.7 million views, Youtube should be sending them 10% of this week's ad revenue take.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:28 AM on July 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sadly, this wonderful thing has already devolved into teh suck.

Yeah, the Today show reenactment was painful to watch.
posted by jayder at 10:54 AM on July 25, 2009


That was funny and cute..I thought the whole performance was great :-)
posted by NJ09AnnUSA at 3:49 PM on July 25, 2009




ColdChef: "More video of people embracing the ridiculous."

God who are those weirdos? Especially the chick at the end in the red dress with the note card.
posted by radioamy at 9:13 PM on July 25, 2009


darkstar: "BUT...turn on the pop music and have everybody free-form and I feel like I suddenly don't know what the hell I'm doing. Maybe I need to just go take some lessons in what passes for modern dancing, these days..."

I felt this way before I took some hip hop classes. Definitely helped me learn to loosen up and "shake it"
posted by radioamy at 9:15 PM on July 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


Does anybody remember that word from some nordic language that means "place-exchanging shame"
posted by tehloki at 11:33 AM on July 26, 2009


Does anybody remember that word from some nordic language that means "place-exchanging shame"

That would be the dutch plaatsvervangende schaamte
posted by PaulZ at 1:27 PM on July 26, 2009


I think in German it's "Fremdschämen", but my German is pretty weak.

In English, I've heard of "dumbchills" and "douchechills", but my favorite general expression is simply "vicarious embarrassment". I.e., embarrassment experienced on behalf of another.
posted by darkstar at 2:11 PM on July 26, 2009


I’m amazed this video didn’t get its audio muted for copyright violation. If it had Chris Brown wouldn’t have had a sales boost.
posted by Tenuki at 9:18 PM on July 30, 2009


I’m amazed this video didn’t get its audio muted for copyright violation. If it had Chris Brown wouldn’t have had a sales boost.

Actually, Sony put a Click-to-Buy overlay over the video, which helped boost its sales.
posted by phatkitten at 12:40 PM on July 31, 2009


Someone made a video about their divorce dance.
posted by lilac girl at 3:01 PM on August 1, 2009


Dead thread question: why are people who would be shocked at the self-evident racism of a statement like "black people have a natural sense of rhythm, that is why they are all good dancers" perfectly happy to say "white people can't dance"?
posted by yoink at 4:34 PM on August 1, 2009


why are people who would be shocked at the self-evident racism of a statement like "black people have a natural sense of rhythm, that is why they are all good dancers" perfectly happy to say "white people can't dance"?

Speaking of the natural rhythm of black people is part of their historical oppression, playing as it does into the stereotype of them as savages. The same cannot be said of "white people can't dance."
posted by Bookhouse at 5:16 PM on August 1, 2009


The same cannot be said of "white people can't dance."

So saying "white people can't dance" is not implying that there is some other group of people who can dance; it's just a statement about the inherent limitations of homo sapiens sapiens as they play out in white people? You're suggesting it's parallel with "white people don't have three arms," say?
posted by yoink at 5:27 PM on August 1, 2009


You do know there are more than two races, right?
posted by Bookhouse at 5:31 PM on August 1, 2009


You do know there are more than two races, right?

So, you're saying it's racist to say that "race A is naturally good at X" but not racism to say "race B is naturally bad at X"?
posted by yoink at 5:51 PM on August 1, 2009


So, you're saying it's racist to say that "race A is naturally good at X" but not racism to say "race B is naturally bad at X"?

Of course not. I didn't say anything like that.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:08 PM on August 1, 2009


You do know there are more than two races, right?

C'mon, that's easy. Asians (like whites) can't dance. Latinos (like Blacks, except for not being a race) can dance. Eskimos and Australian aborigines, not sure but we're guessing no and yes. Duh! Where did you learn your stereotypes?
posted by msalt at 7:22 PM on August 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dead can dance, right?
posted by rtha at 10:04 PM on August 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


You do know there are more than two races, right?

C'mon, that's easy. Asians (like whites) can't dance.


Speak for your own stereotypes - Indians dance brilliantly (even grad students *gasp*) - same with everyone from the Middle East.

There is an actual cultural divide here. In some cultures, dancing is something that's really important, and children and teenagers spend a lot of time watching and practicing and thus learning to dance well. I grew up in a mixed black (mostly Caribbean)/white neighbourhood, and yes, the Caribbean-Canadian kids spend more time learning to dance, as did anyone (white, brown, biracial) who hung out with them, because it was an important part of being cool there. I started to learn some stuff, but then ended up moving to a primarily white school where the in-thing for girls was gymnastics (along with friendship bracelets, and bubble-writing), and boys were into organised sports; neither spent recess or afterschool dancing like the kids from my neighbourhood. (Yeah, there's a whole story of class there, not just ethnicity/culture - gymnastics requires paid-for classes, whereas breakdancing/hiphop is learned from older kids hanging out behind the building). My Indian friend also grew up learning more about dancing than I did, because that was just expected - she thinks of herself as a bad dancer, but she's much better than me. But my bubble-writing is still far superior.
posted by jb at 6:34 AM on August 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Of course not. I didn't say anything like that.

Well, you agreed that it is racist to say "black people are naturally good dancers." And yet you seem to disagree that it is racist to say "white people can't dance." So, yes, you did say something very like that indeed.

But I'm not singling you out here. I'm just interested that on a site like Metafilter where people are unusually alert to potential racism the self-evidently racist statement "white people can't dance" passes for the most part without comment. Imagine the opprobrium that would be heaped on someone who wrote "black people can't swim" or "Asian people can't drive" in a Metafilter thread.

My point isn't "OMG, white people are oppressed!!!"--in fact it's really rather the opposite. If anything it's a marker of a privilege that you get to indulge in "ha ha, ain't white people lame" humor knowing that it doesn't have any power to actually rob you of a secure social status. I do think, though, that it's disingenuous to suggest that the statement "white people can't dance" sets white people in opposition to "all races." I think "white people can't dance" is actually largely a comment about the assumed natural superiority at dancing of "black people." Just as "white people can't jump" doesn't imply "well, by contrast, the Tibetans have amazing hops!," "white people can't dance" is not saying "compared to most other races: Korean, Japanese, Mongol, Eskimo, Australian Aborigine, Micronesian, Polynesian etc. etc. white people are surprisingly poorly equipped with the necessary skills to be become dancers"; it's assuming a direct contrast with "black people" who are assumed to be "naturally" gifted dancers. And that's not "reverse racism"--it's just good old fashioned racism.
posted by yoink at 8:45 AM on August 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think people aren't being pedantic enough.
posted by chunking express at 9:29 AM on August 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think people aren't being pedantic enough.

White people aren't pedants?
posted by yoink at 9:33 AM on August 2, 2009


Ha, chunkking express has shamed me into deleting my long pedantic argument. Just two things, yoink, and then I'll say adieu. First of all, it's the word "natural" in your original question that led to my answer. It's racist to say that black people are naturally good dancers. I'm thinking that you see "white people can't dance" as a biological statement, where as I see it as a cultural one, which probably explains our differing takes on it.

Second, here in Los Angeles if someone were to say "white people can't dance," I'd assume they'd just been to a disastrous merengue night, so obviously we disagree on the implicit black-white argument. But I doubt we'll get any closer to agreement here, so go in peace.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:57 AM on August 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh, come on. There are a lot of Caucasian cultures - including our own in the U.S., until only about 60 years ago - where most people could and did dance regularly, joyfully, and proudly. Swing and jitterbug, foxtrot and waltz, contra dance, Irish and Eastern European and Italian folk dance, morris dance, polka, minuet, strathspey and scottische, - all are just a few of many forms of traditional social dancing practiced by Caucasian people.

It's presentist and narrow to assert that white people "can't" dance. All people can dance; some people have been raised in cultures, times and places that feature dance, celebrate and honor dance, and practice dance more often than others. The sad reality that a lot of people of all backgrounds in the contemporary social world have stopped dancing is not a reflection of inborn racial characteristics, but of cultural priorities and comfort levels with expressionistic behavior.

It's not that it's racist to say "white people can't dance." It's that's it's just ignorant and compltetely wrong.
posted by Miko at 7:58 AM on August 3, 2009


Oh, come on. There are a lot of Caucasian cultures - including our own in the U.S., until only about 60 years ago

Exactly - and our grandparents can dance. But I'm perfectly fine with talking about how my (Euro-Canadian) dancing skills are inferior to those of my Indian and Caribbean friends, because they learned more when they were kids.
posted by jb at 8:21 AM on August 3, 2009


I'm perfectly fine with talking about how my (Euro-Canadian) dancing skills are inferior to those of my Indian and Caribbean friends, because they learned more when they were kids.

...and so, quite likely, with your Euro-Canadian compatriots who grew up in a culture of dancing to fiddle tunes.
posted by Miko at 8:39 AM on August 3, 2009


My point is (and I think we agree) that dance is a feature of culture and a learned behavior, rather than an inborn characteristic or a racially determined characteristic.
posted by Miko at 8:42 AM on August 3, 2009


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