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What if I get hit by a bus before I get a chance to order the shoes?
July 18, 2012 1:13 PM   Subscribe

Amazon Yesterday Shipping
posted by jacquilynne (28 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
Double.
posted by Ardiril at 1:18 PM on July 18, 2012 [27 favorites]


I think that just made me understand Primer a little better.
posted by afx237vi at 1:18 PM on July 18, 2012 [7 favorites]


I can hear yourself freaking out.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:19 PM on July 18, 2012


Double.

Drat, really? I did search for things tagged as amazon, as well as youtube, but I didn't look back very far because the video was only posted to YouTube yesterday.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:20 PM on July 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


Just wait.
posted by Ardiril at 1:20 PM on July 18, 2012 [20 favorites]


Yeah, I totally posted this tomorrow. Sorry, jacquilynne.
posted by kmz at 1:20 PM on July 18, 2012 [15 favorites]


Golf clap, Ardiril.
posted by griphus at 1:21 PM on July 18, 2012


You do win the statue of limitations however.
posted by Ardiril at 1:24 PM on July 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think that just made me understand Primer a little better.

Amazon Primer: members get FREE Yesterday Shipping and Before Instant™ access to a library of movies, all of which you've already streamed.
posted by rh at 1:25 PM on July 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


... the video was only posted to YouTube yesterday Yesterday®.
posted by Ardiril at 1:30 PM on July 18, 2012


So Amazon bought Einstein Express? (Canadians, use Proxmate)
posted by Gary at 1:48 PM on July 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


access to a library of movies, all of which you've already streamed

"Damnit, there's nothing on here except stuff I've not yet watched!"
posted by yerfatma at 1:48 PM on July 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


The immediate problem is that Amazon Yesterday demonstrates that there's no such thing as free will.

There have always been arguments showing that free will is an illusion, some based on hard physics, others based on pure logic. Most people agree these arguments are irrefutable, but no one ever really accepts the conclusion. The experience of having free will is too powerful for an argument to overrule. What it takes is a demonstration, and that's what Amazon Yesterday provides.

posted by zabuni at 2:13 PM on July 18, 2012 [6 favorites]


I think that just made me understand Primer a little better.

Amazon Primer: members get FREE Yesterday Shipping and Before Instant™ access to a library of movies, all of which you've already streamed.


But only after your account has been turned on.
posted by fzx101 at 2:30 PM on July 18, 2012


Pfft. Unrealistic. Amazon might solve the time travel problem, but they'd never let you call customer support, let alone make it a standard part of the process.
posted by graymouser at 2:49 PM on July 18, 2012 [7 favorites]


Mitt Romney is going to be all over this.
posted by ridogi at 2:53 PM on July 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Requisite YT link for these sorts of posts.
posted by prinado at 3:01 PM on July 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


The major problem [in time travel] is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be descibed differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is futher complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.

Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later aditions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
posted by vidur at 4:35 PM on July 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


graymouser: "Pfft. Unrealistic. Amazon might solve the time travel problem, but they'd never let you call customer support, let alone make it a standard part of the process."

uh, In my experience amazon has some stellar customer support.
posted by rebent at 4:37 PM on July 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Pfft. Unrealistic. Amazon might solve the time travel problem, but they'd never let you call customer support, let alone make it a standard part of the process.
Uh, what? Amazon has the best (by any metric - outcome, responsiveness, accessibility) customer service of any company I've ever interacted with, whether by email or telephone.
posted by dmd at 6:17 PM on July 18, 2012


It really won't be as amusing as you think to try to post this link again tomorrrow.
posted by humanfont at 6:36 PM on July 18, 2012


Now wait for last year.
posted by Ardiril at 7:14 PM on July 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Uh, what? Amazon has the best (by any metric - outcome, responsiveness, accessibility) customer service of any company I've ever interacted with, whether by email or telephone.

I never interact with them any more, but I remember I had the damnedest time actually trying to call Amazon when I had a problem several years back. Quite happy to do it via contact forms and all but they seemed very much opposed to getting on the phone, and I've spent years as a customer since then without once thinking of picking up the phone to call Amazon.
posted by graymouser at 7:41 PM on July 18, 2012


If anyone is interested in time travel, come see me last Thursday.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:05 PM on July 18, 2012


At my last school I tried to start a time travel club. I put up posters all over the building that said "Time Travel Club inaugural meeting in room 128 last Monday."

No one showed up.

In retrospect, it was obvious why.

I had just disproved the possibility of time travel. Surely if it were possible, someone would have shown up eventually.
posted by etc. at 10:24 PM on July 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Technically you would only need on time traveler convention.
posted by Deathalicious at 11:27 PM on July 18, 2012


Oh fiddlesticks! My inadvertent typo made it have a whole nother sense!

onone
posted by Deathalicious at 11:28 PM on July 18, 2012


Quite happy to do it via contact forms and all but they seemed very much opposed to getting on the phone
Home page -> Help (at the bottom) -> Contact Us (big yellow button on the right) -> Choose the order number and click "Call Us"

They'll call your phone immediately or you can call them. It rarely takes more than 15 seconds to talk to a rep.
posted by dmd at 3:50 PM on July 22, 2012


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