Nipples:
October 29, 2001 1:28 PM   Subscribe

Nipples: Want to get noticed? "....its a nid bit tipply in here."
posted by tomplus2 (36 comments total)

 
I forgot, 'Now available in Mocha...'
posted by tomplus2 at 1:29 PM on October 29, 2001


This reminds me of an article an ex-girlfriend showed me once, about a product in China called "Nipple-Less", or somesuch. It did pretty much the opposite of Bodyperks - a Band-Aid-type adhesive that went over your nipples when wearing a bathing suit so they wouldn't poke embarrassingly through the material. Different strokes, I guess.
posted by starvingartist at 1:34 PM on October 29, 2001


Where'd you find that? It's sort of a blast from the past — is the nipple thing back in or something?
posted by barkingmoose at 1:37 PM on October 29, 2001


This link is so old it has worse heart problems than Dick Cheney. Or something like that
posted by Outlawyr at 1:39 PM on October 29, 2001


Buy 4 sets and you will have one hell of a Halloween costume.
posted by thirteen at 1:43 PM on October 29, 2001


I thought you were kidding with that "now available in mocha" remark at first.

Ah, to be 2 minutes younger and (more) naive again.
posted by starduck at 2:07 PM on October 29, 2001


It's kind of cool that their comments page is a free-for-all of praise and criticism for their product. Catfight!
posted by p2bilt at 2:14 PM on October 29, 2001


I am NOT a fan of the obvious nipple. I purposely wear bras to hide them. What a stupid product. But you're right..to each his own.
posted by aacheson at 2:20 PM on October 29, 2001


"...her own", don't you mean?
posted by ColdChef at 2:27 PM on October 29, 2001


Tacit evidence that women secretly want us to look. Ladies, your false disapproval has been sussed!
posted by UncleFes at 2:29 PM on October 29, 2001


Everyone but you, Fes.
posted by amanda at 2:35 PM on October 29, 2001


UncleFes' delight notwithstanding, my bet is that this product is aimed squarely at men, not women.
heh, heh, heh
posted by Sapphireblue at 2:35 PM on October 29, 2001


aimed squarely at men

In a "round" about way, of course.
posted by ColdChef at 2:48 PM on October 29, 2001


I don't know if I want the product aimed at me...might lose an eye or something.
posted by Kikkoman at 2:48 PM on October 29, 2001


I prefer the REAL things popping out.. but body perks will do.
posted by BlitzK at 2:52 PM on October 29, 2001


Everyone but you, Fes.

...a crestfallen Fes heads back to his lair, followed by the disapproving glances of dozens of nip-enhanced ladies who, by some amazing feat of cognitive dissonance, are comfortable with the logic of fakey nipples and stern looks. Fes takes solace in voluminous pr0n collection and hones his patented "eye bounce" method of surreptitious boobwatching, noting to self that he can still observe unnoticed the heaving, straining sweaters of his officemates, and approval be damned...

:D
posted by UncleFes at 2:55 PM on October 29, 2001


i'm sorry, this just seems like something out of a space ghost episode...
posted by lotsofno at 3:03 PM on October 29, 2001


there were heaving, straining sweaters in space ghost?

damn - still more indication that I misspent my youth.
posted by UncleFes at 3:05 PM on October 29, 2001


It's highly inappropriate to bamboozle a fella with those inserts.
posted by theJaybird at 3:23 PM on October 29, 2001


It's the same damn thing as a sock stuffed in the pants. Which is probably done more often than fake nipples.

ColdChef, no guarantee that it's just for "her." I'm in SF and know some guys who would dig this stuff. :)
posted by aacheson at 4:07 PM on October 29, 2001


> It's highly inappropriate to bamboozle a fella with those
> inserts.

Falsies. "Hey, d'ja get a feel?" "Yeah. PVC."


> It's the same damn thing as a sock stuffed in the pants.

"Oi got three sweatsocks and a bar of beauty soap down my pants." (Ringo Starr, 200 Motels)
posted by jfuller at 4:22 PM on October 29, 2001


Imagine your delight when the first fake nipple comes off in your hand. Or when you find one in your cocktail at the Peppermill one seedy night. My real fear is one of these babies could go missing in a bowl of Chunky Sirloin Burger Soup.

ewwww.
posted by Kafkaesque at 5:19 PM on October 29, 2001


A totally useless product. If you want nipples to show, don't wear a bra.
posted by bjgeiger at 5:46 PM on October 29, 2001


I don't wear a bra, and my nipples still lack perk.
posted by crasspastor at 5:50 PM on October 29, 2001


Am I the only one who immediately thought of that episode of Ren & Stimpy when looking at this page?
posted by Down10 at 6:01 PM on October 29, 2001


Probably.
posted by pete at 6:30 PM on October 29, 2001


...observe unnoticed the heaving, straining sweaters of his officemates...

more! MORE!!!
posted by verdezza at 6:42 PM on October 29, 2001


Some guys are boobmen. Some are into asses. I'm more of an eyes man myself. Of course I'll take nice perky breasts if they happen to be there. However, more than a handful of boobs and one is risking a sprained tongue. And if a silicone nipple ended up in my mouth, well let's just say there wouldn't be a second date. =)
posted by ZachsMind at 8:23 PM on October 29, 2001


Can I order just one? I always wanted a third nipple.
posted by leapfrog at 8:37 PM on October 29, 2001


Hey, if you want to go 50/50 on a pair, I am also interested in just one more nipple.
posted by donkeymon at 8:58 PM on October 29, 2001


I have a dream... That one day, every one, everywhere, will know the wonders of my nipples!
posted by MarkO at 11:58 PM on October 29, 2001


[sigh]

pleasing as they may be, boobs aren't where it's at.
ZachsMind seems to have the right idea though.
if you see what you need in her eyes, you'll find what you're looking for everywhere else.


you could always go the natural route, and just protect the real thing.
however, i'll concede that bodyperks.com is much more pleasing to the eye.
posted by basmati at 12:52 AM on October 30, 2001


i remember when a friend who runs told me about his bleeding nipples. i thought that didn't sound good. now i can send him to nipguards -- thanks basmati! or he could just use the bandaids & vaseline route...
posted by meep at 2:36 AM on October 30, 2001


There's a great name for a band: Bleeding nipples.
posted by MarkC at 5:03 AM on October 30, 2001


> or he could just use the bandaids & vaseline route...

It's those alligator clips. Take off the alligator clips!
posted by jfuller at 8:43 AM on October 30, 2001


This reminds me of an article an ex-girlfriend showed me once, about a product in China called "Nipple-Less", or somesuch.

Japanese methinks.
(scroll down a bit)
posted by Sal Amander at 11:19 AM on October 30, 2001


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