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March 30, 2013 10:16 AM   Subscribe

The Creepiest Easter Bunny photos ever

I had put this in a comment of another post but thought it too great not to share.
posted by dobbs (55 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite

 
HANNRRHH HANNNRRRH HANNRRRHHH. Why do people continue to subject children to costumed entities? Some kids are apparently okay with them, but it seems as if a healthy percentage experience only pants-wetting terror. I still shudder at the memory of a giant Yoda on rollerskates who gave me a wet-willy to try to cheer me up, because I was unable to visibly enjoy being next to the giant Yoda on rollerskates. Jesus.

The expression of the kid standing next to Hopalong Junkpouch is the only expression warranted under the circumstances.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:27 AM on March 30, 2013 [10 favorites]


words (well, appropriate words) escape me.
posted by HuronBob at 10:28 AM on March 30, 2013


I actually found that worth clicking through 4 pages to view. Something is wrong with me.
posted by axiom at 10:31 AM on March 30, 2013 [6 favorites]


Hilarious. Yes, why do parents feel that it's 'fun for the family' for a child to be posed with a horrifyingly-costumed icon of certain holidays? Also, WTF.

Countess Elena, I had to bail after 10 seconds of that video.
posted by tickingclock at 10:34 AM on March 30, 2013


jeebus. i looked closely at #1 and #2, and after that i was so creeped out i bailed.

seriously, i will see the first one in my nightmares tonight.
posted by chasles at 10:38 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's not so much the photographs, though there are some horrid ones in there, it's more the costuming of the bunny.
posted by Fizz at 10:42 AM on March 30, 2013


I knew it. We're in the Tangent Universe, right? When does it collapse?
posted by Suddenly, elf ass at 10:49 AM on March 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


There is quite a bit more horror to be explored than Donnie Darko touched.

Creepy Easter Bunny is the new Creepy Clown.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:50 AM on March 30, 2013


I can understand the photos with Santa at Christmas, at least Santa is visibly human. I've never subjected my kids to that process, though.

A six foot tall bunny would freak the shit out of me as a grownup even. Such things should not be.
posted by ambrosia at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I came in here to post the same video Countess Elena did. Everyone should get to see RIfftrax's take on Santa Claus Meets the Ice Cream Bunny.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


The appropriate venue for a bunny costume is anywhere it wouldn't be expected, where it serves to discombobulate an adult, not traumatize a child. An enormous bunny head is a particularly fine accessory for any sort of party where there will be ample alcohol and dancing.
posted by wotsac at 10:54 AM on March 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


MY EYES
posted by Kitteh at 10:56 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


When I was sixteen I had a month-long stint as the Easter Bunny's photographer at a mall. A friend, who I will call Anna, had decided that it would be The Best Prank Ever if we both got into this thing, her as the bunny and me taking pictures of it. I don't know what she was planning to do, beyond probably get us both kicked out and psychologically scar some kids in the process, but we wound up behaving and staying the whole time.

The photographers had a little uniform: we had to wear white long-sleeved button down shirts, khaki pants, a yellow satin cummerbund, and a yellow satin bow-tie. Once the regional manager lady went away after the first weekend, we dropped the satin. The bunny suit -- there was only one suit, and one head. It smelled sorta funny from the outside. I don't want to know what it was like on the inside.

I had two duties, while I was there. I got stuck with operating the camera. It was rigged to a miserable Windows 98 touchscreen monster that failed to respond, half the time, and we were only allowed to take three shots per child. I had the singular trick of waiting until the child looked reasonably calm before taking the picture, which kept the parents from complaining, so I got stuck taking the photos, which was great because it meant I wasn't wrangling kids or adults.

I also had to take care of Anna in her bunny suit. She was a tiny tiny thing, about five foot two and a hundred and ten pounds, and this bunny suit had been designed to fit a full grown man. There was no way to rig it up or take it in: it drooped and sagged disturbingly, all wrinkles from the bunny hands and feet to the knees and elbows. The giant fiberglass head hung sadly on her slim shoulders. The eyes were covered with wire screens, theoretically so the person could see out of them, but Anna couldn't. So at the beginning and end of each shift of hers, I had to take Bunny by the arm and walk her/it to and from the back room where she changed in and out of the costume.

The more entertaining part of this was slipping her drinks, because the studio lights we'd been supplied with were plenty hot, and under no circumstances at all, ever, was the Bunny Actor allowed to take off the Bunny Head while in potential view of Children. So I'd go get a gigantic soda from the mall-Chinese place, and in between rushes of wailing kids I'd go lift up the bottom of the bunny head so Anna could sip from the straw. Yes. Easter Bunny has a tracheotomy.

Like I said, I don't know what Anna had planned, but other than a few silly pictures (I have one, somewhere, of Meditating Bunny In A Full Lotus on the Carrot Chair) and lots of Kinky Fursuit jokes, we didn't actually do anything evil. When we were finally finished with the month-long gig, we agreed never to speak of it again.
posted by cmyk at 10:57 AM on March 30, 2013 [17 favorites]


Easter is forever Donnie Darko.
posted by Dr. Zira at 11:03 AM on March 30, 2013 [5 favorites]


I don't know whether to laugh, cry or start screaming and never stop.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:03 AM on March 30, 2013


Some of these aren't creepy, they're just sad. Which is still wrong, but a different kind of wrong.
posted by tommasz at 11:15 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ambrosia - what about an 8ft gun wielding bunny? How would you feel about that?
posted by wotsac at 11:22 AM on March 30, 2013


I wonder how many of these bunny experiences have been recovered through therapy?
posted by orme at 11:29 AM on March 30, 2013


Just out of curiosity I did a Google image search. (SafeSearch is on)
posted by fuse theorem at 11:43 AM on March 30, 2013


No way some of these were visible to the people present when they were taking the picture.
posted by emmtee at 12:06 PM on March 30, 2013


"I don't know whether to laugh, cry or start screaming and never stop."

Ah, the mirthless laugh of the damned.

This is the one that creeps me out the most. It's that glimpse of a human eye in a realistic rabbit face, like Dr. Reinhardt merged with Maximilian at the end of The Black Hole. Terrified and trapped forever...
posted by Kevin Street at 12:15 PM on March 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


The captioneer seems to assume that all bunny suits are inherently creepy, but they really aren't (just about half of them). Lots of babies and toddlers will start crying when you hand them over to any stranger, because they're strange to them, not inherently strange. That having been said, "Hopalong Junkpouch" was funny.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:17 PM on March 30, 2013


Who made these things? The second one alone. Who was involved in any stage of the planning and execution of making that thing did their job, stepped back, and said to themselves, "Yep, that's what a bunny should look like. This is the thing I intended to make and I'm proud."

Someone did. Someone said that about all of these. These are dangerous people.
posted by cmoj at 12:34 PM on March 30, 2013 [9 favorites]


"Bunny" is a complex concept. Which contains multitudes. Which explains this thread.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:36 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh, I hadn't seen this particular set of pics before......disturbing is putting it mildly. Heh.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:41 PM on March 30, 2013


A six foot tall bunny would freak the shit out of me as a grownup even.

Eh, not if he likes to hang out with you at the bar. I always thought Harvey looked real friendly.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:42 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


What makes it worse (IMO) is the confusing nature of Easter. It's a very perplexing holiday if you're a kid. Santa is supposed to be a real guy, but there's no actual Easter Bunny. No one literally believes that a giant rabbit is going to come down your chimney (or up from the bathtub drain, or whatever) and leave little candy eggs and chocolate statuettes of itself for children to find in the morning. If you don't know that eggs and rabbits are traditional pagan symbols of fertility, then nothing about the Easter Bunny makes sense. And yet here's this giant, funny smelling humanoid rabbit at the mall, and your parents want you to sit on its lap, and everyone is smiling like this is perfectly normal. WTF?
posted by Kevin Street at 12:43 PM on March 30, 2013 [8 favorites]


Anya won't like this.
posted by night_train at 12:51 PM on March 30, 2013 [7 favorites]


The lapsed Catholic portion of my family always hosts an Easter brunch with a crucified bunny (of the stuffed variety) as the centerpiece. It's usually adorable with the little nails sticking through its paws...
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:03 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


and on this day you shall sit in the lap of a huge smelly human plushy rabbit
to honor a man who was slowly tortured to death but came back to life and
flew up into outer space never to be seen again.
...who says us humans don’t have a great sense of humor.
posted by quazichimp at 1:19 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


I didn't even realize that going to see the Easter bunny was a thing until this year, when a few friends posted pictures of their screaming small children sitting on their mall Easter Bunny's lap, and I thought, man, this is a thing now? All the things that parents could be doing with and for their children, and they do this?
posted by orange swan at 1:26 PM on March 30, 2013


....and Mr. Freakish Easter Bunny answers: HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL, KID? I HAVE TO WALK BACK OUT OF HERE ALONE!
posted by Skygazer at 1:48 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


A bell, though, that's fucked up.
posted by naoko at 1:48 PM on March 30, 2013 [6 favorites]


...who says us humans don’t have a great sense of humor.

Well, I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors...
posted by Skygazer at 1:50 PM on March 30, 2013


These are dangerous people.

It's true. After the helpless laughing dies down a bit, you have to wonder if there's a conspiracy afoot to haunt the bejesus out of children for the rest of their natural lives...
posted by Skygazer at 1:57 PM on March 30, 2013


Most of the pictures look like they pre-date "Donny Darko" by a number of years. Which means we are in the realm of the unusually white Pooka depicted in Harvey, I think. Pookas are - unlike little, innocent bunnies - supposed to scare the shit out of people.
posted by rongorongo at 2:22 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]



This Easter Bunny has a face that says "I can't believe someone handed me a child either
.

I started howling with laughter at this point and had to stop in order to breathe. Getting forwarded to a bunch of people, thanks.
posted by arcticseal at 2:33 PM on March 30, 2013


More wicker peacock chairs than the entire 1977 lineup of Casablanca Records album covers.
posted by ShutterBun at 2:55 PM on March 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


I was distracted by the comment I still shudder at the memory of a giant Yoda on rollerskates who gave me a wet-willy to try to cheer me up

Yet another American usage I hadn't come across before!
posted by Azara at 3:12 PM on March 30, 2013


My immigrant mom was unclear on the concept of American Easter and sent me to the Easter egg hunt dressed in a pink bunny suit. (She had made it for my Halloween costume). I can't seem to find a photo that has me wearing the head, but this will do for now.
posted by spamandkimchi at 3:36 PM on March 30, 2013 [20 favorites]


Yet another American usage I hadn't come across before!

As you can imaging the wet-willy is an important part of growing up in America.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:45 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Was hoping for a reference to that one episode of the Jeffersons or the one scene from the Shining.
posted by destro at 3:55 PM on March 30, 2013


The appropriate venue for a bunny costume is anywhere it wouldn't be expected, where it serves to discombobulate an adult, not traumatize a child. An enormous bunny head is a particularly fine accessory for any sort of party where there will be ample alcohol and dancing.

Ah, so you are a furry, then?
posted by hippybear at 4:04 PM on March 30, 2013




I used to have a picture of my Grandma in her early 60's, holding a giant Hershey bar and sitting on the lap of the Easter Bunny, who was wearing giant farmer overalls. It's one of the sweetest pictures of her, and I wish I still had it.

All the Disney rabbits are ganging up to do the Bunny Hop with Disneyland guests. The action starts at about 2:20.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:23 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Large furry creatures are not always comforting to a small child. This brings back a traumatic memory. I loved small teddy bears and other stuffed animals, but when a misguided friend of my dad presented me with a fluffy lion larger than my four-year-old self, it was all I could do to politely stifle my horror. Later that afternoon when the grown-ups were into their coffee and conversation the lion took a little trip with me deep into the woods out behind the trailer, and there it remains as far as I know.
posted by TreeRooster at 5:35 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


The thing about the article linked to is that the pictures remained consistently bizarre and creepy, but the comments kept getting worse in relation. It probably could have been paced better.
posted by JHarris at 6:24 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Daaawwwwwwwww
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 9:13 PM on March 30, 2013


I made the mistake of looking at this in bed last night during soothing sleepytime transition phase and ended up with a tear soaked pillow from laughing too much. Also some choking problems, breathlessness, facial flushing and jaw pain. I think I started losing it at hopalong junkpouch.

Here's one they missed. Possibly some Holiday Armadillo action going on here? Pagan Fertility Penguin, anyone?
posted by taz at 12:50 AM on March 31, 2013


Beautiful madness.
I especially enjoy the face on this one.
posted by doctornemo at 9:58 AM on March 31, 2013


Kevin Street: "No one literally believes that a giant rabbit is going to come down your chimney (or up from the bathtub drain, or whatever) and leave little candy eggs and chocolate statuettes of itself for children to find in the morning. "

My six year old has news for you.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:32 AM on April 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm 50 years old and had no idea that having kids pose with guy in a bunny costume was a thing that was ever done.
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:14 AM on April 1, 2013


I lol'd
posted by jeffburdges at 1:06 PM on April 1, 2013


You can imagine my surprise when I clicked on this, and the first picture is a picture of me, at three years old. WOW!
Here I ALMOST had that memory out of my mind, and Metafilter has to drag it back up.

I also really wonder how, who, when placed that photo of me on this site, after thirty years.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 4:14 PM on April 1, 2013 [4 favorites]


More lamb's blood, please.
posted by breadbox at 7:07 PM on April 1, 2013


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