Le Corndog Royale.

June 24, 2016 2:54 PM

Low Budget Gourmet Meals
posted by Johnny Wallflower (28 comments total)

ugh
posted by incomple at 2:55 PM on June 24, 2016

This is actually a neat way to learn basic plating techniques!
posted by The Whelk at 2:56 PM on June 24, 2016 [10 favorites]

Did anyone else outside of NYC get Jamaican beef patties in school lunch?
posted by griphus at 3:04 PM on June 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Or one for the NYCers: did you guys get the horrible sheet pizza, or were you too close for the real thing for that to fly?
posted by indubitable at 3:08 PM on June 24, 2016

No, we got horrible pizza. And I think the patties are a NY thing; the DOE has a contract with Golden Krust.
posted by Itaxpica at 3:13 PM on June 24, 2016 [4 favorites]

(Also in America Le Corndog Royale is just called a Quarter Pounder Corn Dog)
posted by Itaxpica at 3:14 PM on June 24, 2016 [17 favorites]

OK, I want to see the macncheetos monstrosity subjected to this treatment.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:22 PM on June 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Say whatever you want, but I would totally eat that bacon and ramen wrapped hot dog.
posted by KGMoney at 3:37 PM on June 24, 2016 [4 favorites]

We def had both the loaf-style pizzas and round personal pan and they were Not Good. I don't think we ever had regular slice pizza for school lunch at any of the schools I went to unless they actually went out and got pizza for everyone which happened occasionally.
posted by griphus at 3:43 PM on June 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

holy shit

And while Mr. Hawthorne's aspirations may seem grandiose, Golden Krust has muscled its way into a major share of the market. Its products are distributed to supermarkets in 30 states. It supplies patties to the city's prisons and hospitals, and it sells 3.6 million patties a year to the schools -- 75 percent of the total purchased by the educational system. The schools pay Golden Krust 50 cents per patty; a regular consumer pays $1.40

posted by griphus at 3:45 PM on June 24, 2016 [3 favorites]

This presentation of chicken fingers is great; they just need to use a variety of dipping sauces. I'm stealing it the next time my nephew and niece come over.

griphus: "Did anyone else outside of NYC get Jamaican beef patties in school lunch?"

We get them at camp (IE: work camps in the North). Haven't been brave enough to try them yet.
posted by Mitheral at 3:54 PM on June 24, 2016

now i want a golden krust topped with mac n cheetos
posted by poffin boffin at 4:03 PM on June 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

Remember, "boneless wings" are just nuggets grown-ups don't have to be ashamed of.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:17 PM on June 24, 2016 [8 favorites]

Jamaican spicy beef patties, AKA the best thing you can get at the dollar store! (I live on the west coast and have never seen these anywhere but the Dollar Tree freezer case.)

I liked this EXCEPT for the bullshit chocolate sauce on the asiago bagel and the lulzy dumped-out can of beans. C'mon, honor your premise. You were doing so well.
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:20 PM on June 24, 2016 [3 favorites]

I would totally eat that bacon and ramen wrapped hot dog. And Golden Krust spicy beef patties are best hangover food ever.
posted by Daily Alice at 4:27 PM on June 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mitheral, give it a try! It was always the best thing in school lunches (which says more about the rest of stuff in school lunches than the patties, but still).

There's a golden krust by my apartment, now I kinda wanna go get a pattie.
posted by Itaxpica at 4:27 PM on June 24, 2016

Haven't been brave enough to try them yet.

they are really good. i recommend taking it out of the oven halfway through, cutting a big flap on the top of the crust (I.e. cut three sides of a square and lift) and putting either a slice of melty cheese or shredded cheese in there (or whatever toppings you want; I like diced thick cut bacon) and putting the top back on.
posted by griphus at 4:31 PM on June 24, 2016

lulzy dumped-out can of beans

It should've been "medallions" of refritos dusted with dorito crumbles and grated parm with a little star of salsa drizzle on the plate.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:43 PM on June 24, 2016 [12 favorites]

We get them at camp (IE: work camps in the North). Haven't been brave enough to try them yet.

North Korea?
posted by Kabanos at 4:50 PM on June 24, 2016 [4 favorites]

Retried beans/crushed Doritos/EZ cheez terrine
posted by griphus at 4:51 PM on June 24, 2016

Say whatever you want, but I would totally eat that bacon and ramen wrapped hot dog.

That was the one that looked good to me, too. I mean, I'd totally eat the patty, too, but I wouldn't spray sriracha all over the plate first.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:01 PM on June 24, 2016

Pizza stack, ramen dog, corndog royale. Those are my choices. Although the floppy bacon wrapped around the dog gives me pause.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:18 PM on June 24, 2016

Honestly, Golden Krust probably deserves an FPP of its own one of these days.
posted by Itaxpica at 6:27 PM on June 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Some people treat shittyfoodporn as the dumpster for foodporn gone wrong, but here we have the alternative construction, porn made from shitty food.
posted by pwnguin at 7:01 PM on June 24, 2016 [4 favorites]

have the patties all over toronto
posted by PinkMoose at 10:59 PM on June 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Finally, proof that artistic arrangements of food do not make it taste any better.
posted by mermayd at 4:20 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

The color palette leaves something to be desired. Sprigs of dill don't hide the brown-pink and neon orange.
posted by tippy at 6:21 AM on June 25, 2016

There is an ongoing argument whether the subreddit should be shitty-food porn or shitty food-porn. I like shitty-food porn.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 9:23 AM on June 25, 2016