No Dogs, No Men, One Gun

February 19, 2005 8:40 AM

Bancroft and Arnesen are in Russia ready to start their newest adventure: starting Monday, as polar explorers in their own right, they'll try to become the first women in history to ski across the top of the world - two women pulling two sleds across 1,000 miles of frozen ocean. No dogs, no men and one .44 Magnum revolver. They may not be taking men, but they are taking a laptop so you can track their progress.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy (13 comments total)

I assume the revolver is for walruses or really ill-tempered penguins. But:

They will bathe with baby-oil towelettes.

Any idea why?
posted by SPrintF at 9:16 AM on February 19, 2005

the hand cannon is for polar bears.

when swedes göran kropp and ola skinnarmo skied to the north pole, kropp shot and killed a bear that was stalking them:

"Either it was dinner, or I was," he later explained. Back in Sweden, Mr. Kropp was criticized for killing the bear."
posted by three blind mice at 9:43 AM on February 19, 2005

No dogs, no men and one .44 Magnum revolver.

The stunning frontier adventure from Lynne Cheney. Available at bookstores now.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 10:15 AM on February 19, 2005

SPrintF:
No penguins in the north.
No polar bears in the south.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:00 AM on February 19, 2005

They will bathe with baby-oil towelettes.

Any idea why?

Helps keeps moisture in the skin. The dry arctic air would otherwise suck all the water off the skin, leading to skin irritations/wounds/infections that could potentially interfere with the expedition's success.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:19 AM on February 19, 2005

Sprintf, I can think of several reasons why they will bathe with baby oil towlettes:

• they will get dirty, and need to clean themselves. A sponge bath at the end of a day of backpacking is really nice.
• a sponsor has provided the towlettes.
• it takes a lot of fuel to melt ice for water, and they have to carry that fuel.
• From other references on the web, ice that has melted and refrozen will be their source of fresh water, and it is not extremely common.
• significant heat loss from a human body in the arctic comes from something called "insensible water", which is water vapor that comes off of your skin. If you can provide a barrier to the loss of this water, you will lose less heat.

Perhaps they will not be so much bathing with baby oil towlettes, but bideting with them.
posted by the Real Dan at 12:01 PM on February 19, 2005

You can be sure the sponsors will be bideting them good before bidding them good day.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:39 PM on February 19, 2005

you go! Bancroft rocks!

Bancroft accomplished this feat as an out lesbian, which means nothing to the continent of Antarctica but a lot to the corporate sponsors upon whom she's dependent. "You win them over by who you are," she explains. "They get over it."

On the other hand, her lesbian audience, she says, "has been with me through thick and thin all these years, rooting me on, even when I wasn't that popular. They've always been right there with me, saying 'Go!' I need those voices."

: >
posted by amberglow at 1:41 PM on February 19, 2005

QX-etc: Exactly my thinking -- sounds like Thelma & Louise 2.

Rock on, ladies!
posted by LordSludge at 2:09 PM on February 19, 2005

I would definitely opt for bringing a laptop over bringing a man, but bringing a dog would be first pick.

Anyway, much respect to anyone who attempts this. I'm sure I'll check in from time to time to follow their progress.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:45 PM on February 19, 2005

They truly are my heros. They prove that 50 year old women can do amazing things if they are not afraid to follow their dreams.

And Paris Hilton can go suck eggs.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:30 PM on February 19, 2005

"I would definitely opt for bringing a laptop over bringing a man, but bringing a dog would be first pick."

Why? There's a lot more meat on a man, you know.
posted by spazzm at 4:58 PM on February 19, 2005

A revolver? What the fuck? For 2lbs more, you can carry a Marlin 1894 in 44, and have your accuracy extended out past 400 yards and muzzle velocity increased by 300fps+. Women. Sigh.
posted by avriette at 1:27 AM on February 20, 2005