Future girlfriends need not apply
March 12, 2007 6:54 AM   Subscribe

In 1997, a geeky little boy from New Mexico became one of the first major web celebrities when he reached out to meet his future girlfriend. He talks about the impact that this unexpected celebrity had on his life. Apparently, after years of eschewing the web, he's all grown up and he's looking for "bois" on MySpace (sound is NSFW). (via szanalmas, possibly NSFW).
posted by madamjujujive (45 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
... oops, that should be "in 1997" not "2001" - duh!
posted by madamjujujive at 7:10 AM on March 12, 2007


Best. Of. The. Web.
posted by dbiedny at 7:32 AM on March 12, 2007


Wow, going after a 12 year old kid like that was pretty harsh.
posted by delmoi at 7:33 AM on March 12, 2007


Well, after all of those years of being mocked & harassed by strangers over his innocent webpage looking for a "girlfriend," I'm sure he'll be thrilled to be mocked & harassed for having a new webpage looking for "bois."
posted by miss lynnster at 7:42 AM on March 12, 2007


Number of things in my Past I Regret: None.
oh rly?
posted by dabitch at 7:53 AM on March 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Even if it were appropriate to publicize the MySpace page of someone whose only claim to fame was something he did when he was too young to know any better, this would be a shitty FPP.
posted by Epenthesis at 8:04 AM on March 12, 2007


W.E.B du Bois?
posted by horsemuth at 8:11 AM on March 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Looking for "bois"? Sounds like that damn Xbox, or Warcraft! What the hell is it with you kids nowadays? "I wanna start a guild, I wanna start a guild!" As if the Knickerbocker Greys, or the Junior Snow Rangers aren't cool enough for today's mindset!
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:11 AM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


So, some kid in New Mexico turned out to be gay...

...and I am supposed to care because?
posted by desjardins at 8:17 AM on March 12, 2007


Jesus that was heart breaking. I feel like a world class bully. I remember the page , and I was one of those people laughing , but after reading his story, I'm just sick about it. I never e mailed him anything of course , but that doesn't make me any less part of the collective mob that pointed and laughed at this poor kid. For my part I'm sorry dude.
posted by nola at 8:18 AM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Knickerbocker Greys

Hey -- just read about them in yesterday's New York Times: Manhattan’s Littlest Soldiers.
posted by ericb at 8:19 AM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


If this post underscores anything, it is the power that the Internet gives a faceless mob to hunt down and belittle someone yet again.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:30 AM on March 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


desjardins: Why do you feel like anyone else would care whether some grad student from Wisconsin cares about that kid from New Mexico?
posted by MegoSteve at 8:39 AM on March 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Surely this is a double? (not that I am complaining) I remember reading about this guy about a month ago.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:42 AM on March 12, 2007


Truthfully, I had always assumed it was a prank from day one...
posted by Samizdata at 8:47 AM on March 12, 2007


The original photo, mullet and all, is actually kind of charming. He's got that awesome grin, the kind you only see in school pictures. Taken early in the school year, I'm guessing. Lots of hope in those eyes, even if the glasses are unfortunate.
posted by grabbingsand at 8:55 AM on March 12, 2007


There are so many weird internet memes that pop up from time to time, especially around one embarrasing photo of something, so it's good to hear some followup and closure to an old story. I remember seeing that picture a lot used on forums but I never really joined in on the mocking because I knew I had half a dozen old photos that looked just like that.
posted by mathowie at 9:04 AM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Wow, an internet meme from that time that I never saw. Or at least don't remember at all. Poor guy.

(Thank God my site from that time was on Angelfire, and is long dead. I look like a dufus in photos now; back then it was much, much worse.)
posted by klangklangston at 9:11 AM on March 12, 2007


I loved this little boy and I loved his page at the time - back in the era of hamster dance and mihir. It seemed so sweet and innocent and I am sure that the sweetness factor was part of why many passed it around. But the web is a harsh and two-faced beast, and one face is very cruel, that's a fact. As a kid breaking ground in this new world, as it was back then, he couldn't have known what he was getting himself in for. How many people did back then, let alone a kid? I'm sorry that he felt the scorn but not the affection because I think I am not alone in having been touched by him.

I was happy to "run into him" again. I found it interesting as a followup and background story and didn't expect it to hit such a negative chord. He's jumped back into the fray via his myspace and is recognized and appreciated for his past, at least in the comments, where he seems to be getting a lot of love.

I am passing a hug on to Michael, my past and former boyfriend, since I never did it then.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:13 AM on March 12, 2007


didn't expect it to hit such a negative chord

Anyone who doesn't recognize the value of this post deserves to have their worst 13-year-old school picture put online and severely mocked.
posted by mediareport at 9:18 AM on March 12, 2007


Let it be known that the song on his MySpace page is now my official theme song, to be played whenever I make a dramatic entrance.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 9:23 AM on March 12, 2007


YOU BASTARDS MADE HIM GAY
posted by quonsar at 10:02 AM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


What the christ is a bois? Like boire - to drink? For a 19 year old, this guy is way too into vodka.
posted by Pastabagel at 10:07 AM on March 12, 2007


I thought CBS made him GAY.

On a more serious note: Cool for him, finding his way and all. Nice turn out. I always thought that website was a fake.
posted by routergirl at 10:09 AM on March 12, 2007


Actually, he is looking for wood.
posted by srboisvert at 10:11 AM on March 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


This reminds me of Faelan's Sweetheart Contest, except not nearly as sinister and creepy.

(Apparently the two sites got confused on MeFi previously.)
posted by nekton at 10:15 AM on March 12, 2007


Ok, I get it. Bois = boys? Sorry I couldn't crack the emo code, but I don't have Bletchley Park on speed dial.

So, basically what we have is a 19 yr old alcoholic looking for boys on myspace?
posted by Pastabagel at 10:25 AM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


I read "bois" and thought...whuh, the guy's looking for french wood? Which perhaps he is...

At any rate, it made me think of Bush saying "You wanna buy some wood?"

And that led into thoughts of Peter Graves asking about gladiator movies, and from there...

What was this about, again?

Oh, right! Yeah, you go Mike! Glad you grew up okay and that life is still interesting and fun, and good luck finding that right boi!
posted by darkstar at 10:55 AM on March 12, 2007


Well, after all of those years of being mocked & harassed by strangers over his innocent webpage looking for a "girlfriend," I'm sure he'll be thrilled to be mocked & harassed for having a new webpage looking for "bois."

That's pretty much how I felt. It would be nice if he could just be left alone.
I never get off on the Internet Sleuth obsession with tracking people down, of which this just seems to be more.
Instead of "closure" this post read to me like, "We found you again!"
posted by chococat at 11:13 AM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]



From what I've read, at least in the lesbian community, "bois" are girls who like to dress as boys-- so perhaps he just likes androgynous women?
posted by Maias at 11:20 AM on March 12, 2007


Man, I used to laugh at the Mahir page a lot, but this page always hit too close to home. If the internet had been a reasonably popular destination when I was Mickey's age in that pic, it could have just as easily been my pic up there.

I'll have to settle with my deep set regret at how many hours I spent killing Minax ("Die fool! Die fool! Die fool!")
posted by thanotopsis at 11:27 AM on March 12, 2007


If he's not making gay porn for meth money yet do we really have a news hook, here?
posted by The Straightener at 11:33 AM on March 12, 2007


Huh. Another Internet fad I totally missed out on. I guess I was too busy dinking around on USENET and helping my French friend with her English on AOL.

I remember feeling at age eleven much like this kid must've felt, but if he's discovered himself differently oriented, well, more power to him, I guess. Let's see, he'd be around 20 or 21 now? That seems a little old to be looking for boys unless the connotation of "bois" skews a little older. At least, when I was 20 I knew I didn't want an underage sex partner.
posted by pax digita at 11:34 AM on March 12, 2007


aww mjjj, This is a poignant post. Many people I know, including myself, learned the hard way about how mean people can be on the web, in ways they would not ordinarily be face-to-face. A recent MeFi post about this.

It's moving that this kid who said simply "Hello my future girlfriend. This is what I sound like. I am eleven years old, in the sixth grade" should or could have been pilloried for such innocence, for years.

My good wishes to Mike.
posted by nickyskye at 12:35 PM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Let's see, he'd be around 20 or 21 now? That seems a little old to be looking for boys unless the connotation of "bois" skews a little older.

According to the page, he's now 19. And 'boi' (*shudders*) tends to encompass personality trait more than age, in the gay world.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:52 PM on March 12, 2007


"YOU BASTARDS MADE HIM GAY"

Maybe not. As elucidated in one of the links, he seems to have attracted older males posing as young females. This may have set the gears in motion in his brain: "If, while seeking girls, I seem to get older males, maybe just MAYBE, if I seek out young 'bois' then, as before, the opposite may in fact be attracted."

He's out for some cougar MILF tail.
posted by Sukiari at 2:00 PM on March 12, 2007


I'll have to settle with my deep set regret at how many hours I spent killing Minax

Don't sweat it. Bitch had it coming. She did invade earth and everything.
posted by Sparx at 2:15 PM on March 12, 2007


From what I've read, at least in the lesbian community, "bois" are girls who like to dress as boys-- so perhaps he just likes androgynous women?

"Boi" is one of those controversial terms in the gay world used as a cutesy form of self-identification by younger men and as a creepy form of self-delusion by older men with Peter Pan complexes. Fair enough at 21, but the sell-by date isn't much later than that...
posted by mykescipark at 3:05 PM on March 12, 2007


"Boi" is one of those controversial terms in the gay world

Well, that finally explains Avril Lavigne
posted by Sparx at 3:50 PM on March 12, 2007


He found that future girlfriend eventually. She just turned out to be Canadian.
posted by emelenjr at 5:35 PM on March 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


I dunno; I'm torn. Ganging up on him, heckling him, harassing him, that's ugly. But if you put your thoughts out there for the world to see, don't throw a fit when the response is laughter. You want to keep your site visible to just-the-folks-you like? Read up on .htaccess.
posted by verb at 6:27 PM on March 12, 2007


So, some kid in New Mexico turned out to be gay...

...and I am supposed to care because?


He was the first.
posted by grobstein at 7:20 PM on March 12, 2007


Bois spoil and become rancid after x days.
posted by Goofyy at 4:27 AM on March 13, 2007


I dunno; I'm torn. Ganging up on him, heckling him, harassing him, that's ugly. But if you put your thoughts out there for the world to see, don't throw a fit when the response is laughter. You want to keep your site visible to just-the-folks-you like? Read up on .htaccess.

Dude, it was 1997. And he was twelve.
posted by LeeJay at 2:41 PM on March 13, 2007


It's not his fault. His parents should have conceived him earlier so that he'd have more time to learn about .htaccess.
posted by Bugbread at 9:49 PM on March 13, 2007


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