Follow Me to the Hedge Clippers

November 15, 2010 9:35 AM

Hgiyiyi (hgjhjh, hjhk) by JJJJ and JJJJJ, has been praised by reviewers as "more majestic than Aslan, more intoxicating than Rappaccini's daughter, and more magical than Abcar." But there has been some controversy about the translation, and some critics are angry: "Jjjj can just vdb off."

(1 available used from these sellers)

posted by Potomac Avenue (61 comments total)

what
posted by nevercalm at 9:35 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

If lovin' sarcastic Amazon reviews is wrong, I won't wanna be right.
posted by chowflap at 9:37 AM on November 15, 2010 [7 favorites]

I am pretty sure I don't want to be on the inside of this joke/meme.
posted by msali at 9:40 AM on November 15, 2010 [5 favorites]

Note from the Author.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:40 AM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

The author comments: "I habe been vbery happi tou sea you all likedd mi laste bok. Iu yyytard nbetdg uythf kijsghhh nbhhger mloihj Hgiyiyi (hgjhjh, hjhk)"
posted by ardgedee at 9:40 AM on November 15, 2010

JJJJ and JJJJJ: our personal Joyce, or Burroughs, or what?
posted by AugieAugustus at 9:42 AM on November 15, 2010 [7 favorites]

Now this is my kind of ghrrgbrgk. I hope this post helps to give it the increased exposure that it deserves.
posted by Benjamin Nushmutt at 9:44 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Pah! Everyone knows that Njyikik by mmmm was the seminal masterwork in the field. Or what about Hyjtyty bg Anjhjh by nnnn?
posted by oonh at 9:45 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Kgh.
posted by defenestration at 9:45 AM on November 15, 2010

Pretty sure jjj and jjjj paid someone to write that.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:46 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

The "related items" widget leads me to my all-time favorite Amazon product.
posted by jbickers at 9:48 AM on November 15, 2010 [10 favorites]

I mean, maybe it's not evident to everyone else, but part of my bbyttbooj is reading material like Hgiyiyi and I can spot a yytter from a mile away. Anyone remotely familiar with jjj and jjjj's earlier work sees this for what it is - a total rrfodd.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:50 AM on November 15, 2010

If JJJJ or JJJJJ is too many Js for you, you might enjoy the relaxing sounds of Sweden's jj.

Cool post, by the way.
posted by Rinku at 9:53 AM on November 15, 2010

I just posted a link to this on my Fxczybrxqfk pqzgre.
posted by spinifex23 at 9:53 AM on November 15, 2010

there's nothing that jjjjj and jjjjj have written that wasn't done first and best by grundoon
posted by pyramid termite at 10:00 AM on November 15, 2010 [4 favorites]

H̹̮͇̫̪̯̬̤̏ͨ̊E̙̟͖͖͎͍͐͌ͅͅ ̺̝̘̣̏P̙̪̜̞͍̺̎ͩU͍̗̹͙̥͚͆̀͂ͧͫ̈̂̑B̗̗̬ͬ̑ͩ̄ͥͩ͊̆̊Ḻ̬͔̱̟̳͔ͬͫ̄ͨI̗̳̗͙͆̅̎́ͦ̊ͦS͓̎́́ͅH̪͚̦̤͚̦ͩ́Ẹ̳̼ͩ̀̀ͪ̈̀ͬS̼̖̗͚̟͈̻͚ͨ̅
̙̝͓͉͎͍̯̖̆̉ͥ͆
posted by DU at 10:01 AM on November 15, 2010 [14 favorites]

a proper asyndeton eludes, behooves, befuddles.
posted by clavdivs at 10:03 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Somehow one of those links led me to the Badonkadonk Land Cruiser. And now my day is complete.
posted by Erroneous at 10:07 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed: The Human Centipede (DVD). How am I not sprjjjjkd?
posted by Tesseractive at 10:09 AM on November 15, 2010

OMG TEAM QJSKASJD 4 EVAR!
posted by The otter lady at 10:16 AM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

What is up with all the haters in here? When did metafilter become overrun by pfkllxstiinze? Man, by the way this thread is going, you would think this is another hkypp hop post.
posted by Benjamin Nushmutt at 10:19 AM on November 15, 2010

lol
posted by koeselitz at 10:30 AM on November 15, 2010

Metafilter: Bdkdosldkd a plate of adkdkkdkk
posted by lumpenprole at 10:35 AM on November 15, 2010

I made a book cover!
posted by taz at 10:38 AM on November 15, 2010 [7 favorites]

SNYDKRP KILLS DUMBLEDDDKYROCOCN
posted by cortex at 10:38 AM on November 15, 2010 [11 favorites]

Oh man, I was wondering when anyone else would ghtyhtyy this. I knew I wasn't alone in that this book made me frbbbbbbb!
posted by Pallas Athena at 10:42 AM on November 15, 2010

I'm not really sure what else to say about Hgiyiyi; so much has been said already.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 10:45 AM on November 15, 2010

Flagged as anti-Finnish.
posted by nasreddin at 10:48 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Flagged as anti-Finnish.

The heck you say. I finnished it in nothing flat!
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:53 AM on November 15, 2010 [3 favorites]

I love Amazon's wtf tag. If only for the image of the woman who wrote this:

Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!! [Paperback].

Driving around in this:

People who looked at this item also looked at: The JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser Tank.

... screaming at people.
posted by mhoye at 10:53 AM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

(Were any of us readers supposed to just accept the unexplained presence of the glkdsj? I mean, really??)
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:04 AM on November 15, 2010

The main thing is that Amazon is still able to get some ad dollars out of it:

Sponsored Links (What's this?)

Kjjjjj Get Kjjjjj Find Kjjjjj Ask.com

posted by flug at 11:05 AM on November 15, 2010

The "related items" widget leads me to my all-time favorite Amazon product.

Which in turn led me to the most useful Amazon product ever.
posted by scalefree at 11:06 AM on November 15, 2010

Somehow one of those links led me to the Badonkadonk Land Cruiser.

I was gonna say I rode in that .. but I didn't. I definitely saw it tho.

It also appears that they are actually making them for sale now, with optional flamethrowers.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:06 AM on November 15, 2010

My first guess was Klingon. My second was Jibberish.

Flagged as anti-Finnish.

Flagged as anti-vowel.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:11 AM on November 15, 2010

Metafiltjjjjjjjr: SNYDKRP KILLS DUMBLEDDDKYROCOCN
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 11:15 AM on November 15, 2010

Explanation for the confused

Also, that 'Birth Control is Sinful' book is all sorts of crazy on its own, but reading the Product Description/Author Bio really cinched it. Nothing logical or well-reasoned is ever written entirely in caps locks.
posted by calcetina at 11:18 AM on November 15, 2010

Well, I totally LFFFFK'd.
posted by vidur at 11:21 AM on November 15, 2010

Goddamn it people, put some spoiler text in here! I really didn't want to know that the klfjkj was a ruupofbdou--it completely ruined the aupvIoio; for me.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:27 AM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Sorry Sidhedevil.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:33 AM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

This was better when sigur rós did it.
posted by dead cousin ted at 11:38 AM on November 15, 2010

This has been a good excuse to revisit my perennial favorite on Amazon, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 11:49 AM on November 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Man, this makes me sad. I know JJJJ from an online forum on fddddrl. She and JJJJJ haven't even spoken to each other in months. They got in a huge argument regarding the awwroppjk of Hgiyiyi (hgjhjh, hjhk). JJJJJ threatened to qwroiuop a gjdk;ldkjf, and JJJJ felt compelled to take out a restraining order.

Last I heard, she was working on selling the film rights to Will Smith, but things weren't going well because she wouldn't let him rename the story "Getting Hgiyiyi With It."
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:07 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

JJJJ turned me off when she refused to do readings, claiming they were "too chain book stkkkkrr."

I do, however, like the anecdote making the rounds that she was approached by some boor at a dinner party who said, "Jjjj, I've made a bet against a friend who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you."

"Jjkkkdr kddrddrrr," she replied with her famous dry wit.
posted by mreleganza at 12:22 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Fdrrrkjrr, kjjjkk?

Ghhhjjjjk.

Jjrrrkjj.

Kjjdddrrjj. Kjjdddrrjj!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:27 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Reading this thread and the Amazon pages linked herein makes me feel like I just landed in a first-draft script for an episode of Sliders gone horribly, horribly wrong.
posted by thesmophoron at 12:46 PM on November 15, 2010

Fdrrrkjrr, kjjjkk?
Ghhhjjjjk.
Jjrrrkjj.

QFT
posted by Benjamin Nushmutt at 12:46 PM on November 15, 2010

Fdrrrkjrr, kjjjkk?

Ghhhjjjjk.

Jjrrrkjj.

Kjjdddrrjj. Kjjdddrrjj!

You are Sherkaner Underhill AICMFP.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:55 PM on November 15, 2010

Kjjdddrrjj. Kjjdddrrjj!

Flagged as jkhkjjkkeee.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:57 PM on November 15, 2010

Take it to Metytyljjjk.
posted by cortex at 1:01 PM on November 15, 2010

Take it to Metytyljjjk.

Mjjtk
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:10 PM on November 15, 2010

I was disappointed to find out that this had nothing to do with kijiji.
posted by AzraelBrown at 1:25 PM on November 15, 2010

I'd like to assure everyone that I had nothing to do with any of this.
posted by jjjjjjjijjjjjjj at 3:16 PM on November 15, 2010 [11 favorites]

Ljjkkghhhgg my ejjkkghhhgg.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:17 PM on November 15, 2010

Doesn't ship to Australia, apparently.

Fjjk!
posted by flabdablet at 3:23 PM on November 15, 2010

Also, that 'Birth Control is Sinful' book is all sorts of crazy on its own, but reading the Product Description/Author Bio really cinched it

Really? I think it was the price that clinched it....
posted by lumpenprole at 3:39 PM on November 15, 2010

See also...
posted by w0mbat at 7:04 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

I for jkl salute our new djlajlb overbkxs.
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:21 PM on November 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Don't forget your Parent Child Testing Product. (Only $10K.)
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:48 AM on November 16, 2010

Look people. It's nice to see y'all putting lots of Amazon links up, but didn't you read the FAQ? Even though the links will have the MeFi referral ID, Matt won't see a dime unless you BUY the stuff. Crack open them wallets so Matt can send Team Mod to
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:18 AM on November 16, 2010

I've been enjoying the videogame adaptation, myself.
posted by Zozo at 9:23 AM on November 16, 2010