I appreciate what this video is trying to do, as I support teaching men how to dress. But the first thing that men need to learn about is CUT and SIZE. These two things are the things that most men that dress badly don't understand. Those $500 jeans aren't going to look good on you if you get the wrong cut or size. They will look just as bad as any other poor-cut wrong-size jean, cheap or not. Same with shirts. Big billowy shirts are going to look bad on you too, no matter if you get them... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by greta simone at 11:31 PM on November 2, 2009

Of course actual dialects of mandarin are pretty much completely unrecognized. If you don't speak like a China Central Television announcer you are doing it WRONG.

You want to know the funniest thing to me? I grew up around people who spoke Mandarin Chinese with a Taiwanese accent. Back in undergrad, I decided to take Chinese, and the Chinese teacher spoke (and taught) Mandarin with a Beijing accent.

Now, to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Comrade_robot at 7:59 PM on October 22, 2009

Good news for the tri-literate: signs like this may soon become commonplace. :)

English sign: "Must speak Cantonese, English and Mandarin."
Chinese sign: Priority given to English and Cantonese speakers. [partial translation]

Different.
posted to MetaFilter by msittig at 5:56 PM on October 22, 2009

Also, if anyone doesn't get why that xkcd comic is really, ridiculously infuriating for a lot of people, I made a more realistic one.
posted to MetaFilter by muddgirl at 9:04 AM on October 8, 2009

I'm late to this thread and a lot of good stuff has already been said. I figured I'd chime in with my own experiences as a woman, except I want to try and reconstruct as best I can exactly how this instinctual fear evolved for me and what it really means in practice (hint: it's not that I feel antipathy to men I see). When I was younger I didn't "get" any of the feminist arguments because I hadn't yet experienced a lot of the things women come to experience. I thought many of those... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Nattie at 9:24 PM on October 12, 2009

After posting that, I realize that perhaps just linking to a book doesn't really help answer your question. Alexander argues that there are certain timeless, invariant, globally significant rules that govern what makes a space for humans pleasing. If this strikes you as a bit mystical, it should. Alexander's a bit mystical. He believes that these when these rules are embodied in a building by careful balancing of opposing tensions and resolution of conflicts, the resulting design will Live,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by jeb at 7:34 PM on October 14, 2009

"Nobody cares. Do it for yourself."

This is sort of thing I have to re-learn every time I start a new project. No matter how supportive my friends and colleagues may be (or may want to be), ultimately they have their own projects and ideas to nurture. If my zeal for working on something hinges on receiving interest and support from others, then I'm bound to work at the problem from the wrong end, currying pre-emptive... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by hermitosis at 8:55 AM on October 23, 2009

Flashman, that advice won’t serve you in good stead. Did you pay by cheque at the tire centre before you focussed your attention on getting your licence renewed? (They’re using colour printers now, I hear.)
posted to MetaFilter by joeclark at 5:24 PM on October 22, 2009

I see the actively dangerous and counterfactual Canadian Style has been made easier to read than ever! It is among numerous denialist sources that claims there is no such thing as Canadian spelling. “[T]o this day, there is no clearly established Canadian standard,” it asserts, even though there is such a standard. All Canadian Style shows you is British vs. American spelling, which may be useful for pedants but doesn’t tell you what to do.

In case... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by joeclark at 2:36 PM on October 22, 2009

Morocco, 1998. My friend and I have just arrived in Marrakesh with a couple of cute but naive girls from Slovakia that we'd met on the train. Normally our routine when arriving anywhere is to immediately put as much distance between ourselves and the station as possible, because the scam artists, touts & thieves love to hang around bus and train stations.

But the girls aren't having any of it. They're tired and want to get to the hotel so they... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Civil_Disobedient at 9:15 PM on October 16, 2009

I used to have hundreds of books. And my wife a couple hundred. Most of hers were large format art books.

But after the fourth move... oh dear god... the move that broke the goodwill of our friends who kindly came to help us and we had dozens and dozens of hundred to two hundred pound boxes, trunks, and crates of books, videos, albums, and frigg'n magazines. I snapped. It was ridiculous. My buddy Ed sprained his ankle. And our friend Leah torqued her back out. People... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by tkchrist at 8:36 PM on October 9, 2009

I took part in the "Is Google Killing General Knowledge" study as an undergraduate. The researcher commented to me that their research arose over beers discussing divorce.

Someone noted that divorce is stressful because couples have been proven to divide knowledge between them. He remembers the birthdays, she remembers the phone numbers, etc. But when the couple splits, he has to learn phone numbers and she has to learn birthdays!... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jefficator at 9:28 PM on September 28, 2009

Aw come on, guys. When someone says that -"Hey, you are awfully quiet!" they are inviting the person to join in, and to let them know that they are not being excluded. Up until that point, the choice has been to let the quiet person be quiet, but there comes a time when you have to establish that they have not been deliberately excluded.

While a snappy, dry comeback sounds fine in practice, I guarantee it will fall flat on it's face. When someone extends an... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Xoebe at 1:59 PM on September 29, 2009

There's no need to be weird or snarky or aggressive or intentionally off putting with your answer. I'd just smile and say "I'm a good listener." Maybe be prepared to add on "Have you had a good evening?" to deflect conversation back to the other person if being socially interrogated makes you uncomfortable.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DarlingBri at 8:53 AM on September 29, 2009

"I like to listen to conversation and hear people tell their stories."

Because people really don't mind being told you're quiet because you're enjoying them talk.
posted to Ask Metafilter by smackfu at 8:53 AM on September 29, 2009 marked best answer

That has to be one of the most incredible videos I've ever seen. Pater Aletheias has it right. This video must be watched the whole way through. I found my breathing getting faster as the skier's did. As someone who skis in the backcountry a lot, being buried like this is certainly up there on my list of fears.

Like any avalanche incident, this video shows things done wrong, such as skiing serious avalanche terrain the day after a big storm storm cycle--the poster of the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by [expletive deleted] at 3:09 PM on September 27, 2009

If you mention that you study politics, and get a question about your political convictions or which party you vote for asked as the first one, you can be damned sure the asker neither did nor does study politics. If they ask you which party you're with, or when you're going to get elected (or worse yet, become prime minister/president) you ought to be allowed to punch them in the stomach. Hard.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Brother Dysk at 8:15 AM on September 19, 2009 marked best answer

Calling people brainwashed, racist or stupid feels good but doesn't really explain the heart of their irrational fear and hatred of government.
posted to MetaFilter by lysdexic at 7:35 PM on September 13, 2009

1) If you must be socially networked to stay connected to old friends, try to limit it to one network. You don't need facebook AND myspace AND linkedin AND twitter, etc. etc. etc.

2) Blow up your TV.

3) Yoga, or other focused 'you' time.

4) Have sex. Often.

5) Read from an actual book everyday.

6) Simplify everything in your home to limit the brain time you spend on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Lutoslawski at 1:09 PM on September 8, 2009 marked best answer

I have noticed that a key distinction between the true experts and "aspirational consumers" (as someone upthread referred to them) is that the true experts are often less dismissive of things that aspirational consumers dismiss.

Aspirational consumers are afflicted by a kind of status anxiety --- they are quick to dismiss things as a way of signalling that they are "in the know."

True experts --- being... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by jayder at 6:24 PM on September 6, 2009

What coloring book directs kids to color a man getting shot in the head?

True story: when I was working at a used book/comic book store in high school, the owner frequently had to both take care of his kids (his wife was a real estate agent, IIRC) and make frequent runs up to our Markham store to shift stock around. As a result, on slow days (Thursday evenings and Sundays), I'd often be left with five-year-old Greggy while he drove hell-bent for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Shepherd at 2:00 PM on August 11, 2009

grouse: "Civility?"

Have you seen the rest of the internet? We might as well be wearing monocles and top-hats, jack.
posted to MetaTalk by boo_radley at 10:59 AM on July 9, 2009

you: All that happened was he sent me an email transfer of $1000 to my EMAIL!!!....I had to go into my email, just like you would do if a family/friend and picked my bank....$1000 was wired to my account and I picked it up and withdrew it. It was then in my pocket.....$30 was for gas, however I had a bike so I pocketed it. I had to transfer the rest after the Western Union fees of 63$ and sent 907$ in Nigerian funds....That was it...I went home with 30$ and had a good night...in the ad... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by koeselitz at 11:54 AM on July 1, 2009

Oh also: The Making of Star Guitar
posted to MetaFilter by hypersloth at 3:43 PM on June 26, 2009

Every weekday for the past 19 months I have written an email to my best friend about one thing from my life that I am grateful for that day.

Some days it's my brother or mom or a friend, some days it's a new running route or beautiful weather, some days I'm grateful for simple things like turkey or smoothies or swimming pools or rain, and sometimes I write about the kindness a stranger showed me or synchronicity in the universe or artistic inspiration.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by philotes at 12:03 PM on June 27, 2009

The biggest impact with the least time and money? Standing up when others are sitting down. Speaking up when others stay silent. Taking a step forward to act when everyone else is just standing around waiting for someone else to do something.

Hopefully, with practice I'll do this more often.
posted to Ask Metafilter by yohko at 11:42 AM on June 27, 2009

What small-ish changes have you made that greatly impacted your life?

What are some cheap and effective ways to make your life easier?

What are some useful skills or abilities that can be learned in a short amount of time, and are never forgotten?

Obvious or creative ways to cut costs and live cheap?

Simple tricks to improve MPG?

Help me come up with some easy, small... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by malapropist at 11:06 AM on June 27, 2009 marked best answer

Seconding Lobster Garden: you're a shy extrovert. There's no necessary connection between "shy" and "introverted," or "not shy" and "extroverted." (Thus, there are shy extroverts, and there are non-shy introverts.) "Extrovert" = interested in spending large proportions of your time socializing in a variety of groups of people. "Shy" = often uncomfortable socializing. No contradiction there.

Leil Lowndes has a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Jaltcoh at 11:05 AM on June 22, 2009

Many people think shy means introvert, but that is just not true--the two things have nothing to do with each other.

As a shy introvert engineer/computer geek turned gregarious extrovert surrounded by friends, I disagree with every fiber of my being.

An introvert feels totally drained after having to be social.

Socializing is A SKILL like any other, like playing the guitar or distance... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 11:12 AM on June 22, 2009

These kinds of things leave me feeling energized rather than drained.

You're not an introvert. You're a shy extrovert. Many people think shy means introvert, but that is just not true--the two things have nothing to do with each other.

So the solution to your problem is the typical solution to shyness. Talk to people even when you'd rather not, and surround yourself with outgoing people who will be responsive to your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Lobster Garden at 10:14 AM on June 22, 2009

I think sincerity is underrated. Meeting people who are able to articulate themselves, honestly, truthfully, without relying on sarcasm or snark to buoy themselves is always charming. At least to me.

I agree wholeheartedly. I find genuineness and authenticity in people irresistibly disarming and magnetic, and it saddens me that it seems to be so rare in our culture, because I think it makes the world a better place to live. I do think there's a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by velvet winter at 12:59 PM on May 26, 2009 marked best answer

Seconding "Right Speech." In my early twenties I was very into Buddhism and meditation, and it really did make a difference in the way I communicated. "Mindfulness" is a meaningless word at this point due to overuse, but when meditation is practiced correctly and seriously it can definitely help you stay out in front of your thoughts and emotions.

More practically, I was able to almost completely avoid gossip just by remaining silent when the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by thebergfather at 9:03 AM on May 26, 2009 marked best answer

I believe that changing the attitude is the most important priority in the long run; avoiding casual cruelty, so common in our age, is difficult unless you have an understanding of it. I call it casual cruelty because that's what it is: an albeit small way in which we hurt other people in order to get attention. We usually rationalize this in some childish way by saying that “if they can't take it, they should get off the internet,” or by... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by koeselitz at 9:01 AM on May 26, 2009 marked best answer

All snark aside, this was a good, if inconclusive article.

I'm certainly very aware of the changes in my own behaviour that connectivity, mobile phones and the web have wrought, and I'm not entirely happy with most of them. Many of them, in fact, I find positively uncomfortable and a net negative for my life as a whole.

The images that went with this article were interesting, showing as they did 'smashed' people, distracted, sliced up, blurry... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Happy Dave at 4:54 AM on May 26, 2009

A Summary for the "I Can't Be Bothered To Read The Whole Article" Crowd

1. Technology provides us with many distractions.
2. We cannot retreat to a quieter time.
3. Are we living through a crisis of attention? An expert (David Meyer) says yes.
4. Multitasking is your brain rapidly switching attention from one task to another, losing efficiency in the process.
5. Coping strategies
a.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by WalterMitty at 4:23 AM on May 26, 2009

Travelling should not mean running around with matchsticks holding your eyelids up, exhausting yourself while you drink in everything around you. It must be enjoyable, and for a lot of people that will include downtime reading, listening to music, relaxing in your room etc. And you needn't be an introvert to want to do these things while abroad, just human. One of the reasons I really enjoy reading while travelling is the strong link it creates between where you are and the people and places in... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by fire&wings at 10:38 AM on May 16, 2009

I can't recommend the Mr. Bento Lunch Jar highly enough. The containers are perfectly sized, they're easy to clean, one is airtight, one is insulated, and they stack in a handy carrying bag and come with a metal spork. It's really stood the test of time and it makes me more excited to eat lunch than I'd necessarily want to admit :)

As for menu ideas, here's a list of things I pack for lunch that are easy and fast (each of these lunches takes less than 20 minutes to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Cygnet at 5:53 AM on May 14, 2009

This article was fascinating. Shame on all the snark above from folks who didn't bother to read it. It's incredibly difficult to do longitudinal studies of people's lives, as the article explains well. You need a set of people, and to keep track of those people, and you need long-term funding and a succession of researchers to manage the study. Getting 70 years of mental and physical health data about anyone is impressive; doing it in a controlled study is really incredible.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Nelson at 9:21 AM on May 12, 2009

Maybe members of congress should be required to wear the logos of any companies that they've accepted money from. It would be like NASCAR.
posted to MetaFilter by odinsdream at 1:24 PM on April 30, 2009

I recommend this book all the time here and all the time in real life: Mark Bittman's How To Cook Everything. Seriously. I'm a culinary-school-and-restaurant-trained chef and this book is fantastic for the beginner (and the expert; I love it, too). Bittman tells you what cooking terms like 'braise' mean, he tells you the basics of ingredients, and he walks you through how to start improvising. He even gives you an idea of what you need in a basic, every day pantry. It's really, really good.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by cooker girl at 4:56 PM on April 22, 2009

OOoh - I'm a bit of a smart playlist nerd, so all this may be way too much for most people! My iTunes library is way too big to sync the whole thing, so I tend to use SPs pretty exclusively as follows:

Folder: "Not on iPod"

Smart Playlist: "Source Tracks"
Match: All
Playlist is not "Music Videos" (separate smart playlist)
Playlist is not "Do Not Shuffle" (manual playlist)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Chunder at 11:43 AM on April 7, 2009 marked best answer

This is a fascinating topic for me. Over the years I've tried really hard to quantify my own body language to help some friends in a situation such as yours. I apparently have some sort of universally understood body language that screams "Do not touch. Do not anger. Do give this person reason to focus on you." and I've never been able to fully isolate it. I can share a few things and hopefully they'll help:

1. I always speak like I know what's going on and I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by JFitzpatrick at 6:55 AM on March 26, 2009 marked best answer

Stand up straight.
Shoulders back.
Look people in the eye.

Cut down on your use of "I think" and "In my opinion" and "If you wouldn't mind, could you possibly" and "I may be wrong, but...". Apologise less.

If you're very quiet, go and learn to project your voice.

When working, try dressing a little more professionally than you do. I find that wearing heels... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by emilyw at 2:50 AM on March 26, 2009

Here's the answer that I posted to a previous, similar question. To confirm what others have said, the TN category is your best bet, and also most appropriate for the "not necessarily forever" category of employment visas. Specifically, applying for a TN as a Computer Systems Analyst should work. Come to the US as a tourist, find a job, get hired, go to the border with a resume, college transcript, petition letter from your employer and $50 and you're good for a year. Repeat next... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by bl1nk at 8:14 PM on August 3, 2005

Iceland must be stopped before it kills again.
posted to MetaFilter by ...possums at 5:27 PM on March 11, 2009

Damn... I should've gone over the translation again. But I was in a hurry, I had some kids to teach chess to.

Oh, one little anecdote. The livestock was killed by fluorine. When I was in primary school in Iceland classrooms would be visited by people who'd give us fluoride mouthwash. In Icelandic both fluorine and fluoride are usually just called flúor. Once, after learning about how flúor killed off a quarter of Icelanders, we got a visit by the flúor people. And yet we... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Kattullus at 5:12 PM on March 11, 2009

The best way to disarm someone is to be (or appear to be) totally at ease with yourself and your world while being genuinely concerned only with the positive elements of an interaction. Then you can say or do whatever the fuck you want. Some people who are like this (or who appear to be) are born with the ability, but more commonly people are all capable of it sometimes. It's hard to teach yourself to be this way all the time, but not impossible--just learn to balance utter ruthlessness with a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Potomac Avenue at 5:49 PM on February 10, 2009

What makes people think of creative people as geniuses or whatever is the fact that typically the only time they encounter them is through their work -- i.e., through a very specific, filtered experience tuned to exhibit their talents. One does not typically see process or the rest of the creative person's life. If your primary experience of a person is their highly attractive creative output, it makes sense that you're going to think of them and respond to them differently than Dave in... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jscalzi at 7:10 PM on February 6, 2009

Although it's a little less focused on your individual social skills, Never Eat Alone is a good book about the nuts and bolts of maintaining a network.

The author focuses on how to leverage personal friendships for business gain. But one point he makes is that building a network is building relationships, and the strongest relationships work when you actually care about the other people.
posted to Ask Metafilter by redarmycomrade at 7:10 PM on February 6, 2009

You wake up in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping and read AskMe. Seriously (it's 3 AM where I am).

Being with a little baby is a lot like being alone, in some ways. You don't need to make conversation. But once they start talking you're done for.

I don't know what to tell you, man, other than *please* *please* don't just check out and put the burden on your wife. Talk about it, and figure out a way, together, to get a little... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by libraryhead at 12:17 AM on February 1, 2009