MetaFilter

Metafilter: "Where’s that money you silly stupid old fool? Where’s that money?"
posted to MetaFilter by Chitownfats at 11:39 PM on December 3, 2015

I once found myself in an elevator with a bunch of inebriated lady librarians at a hotel where a librarian's convention was being held.

"My cheeks get red when I drink," said one.

Another flashed a wicked smile, gave her a hard slap on the behind, and said: "THEY SURE DO!"

That was the day I lost my innocence.
posted to MetaFilter by grumpybear69 at 6:42 AM on December 3, 2015

IF? Happy Halloween, Hams!
posted to MetaTalk by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:23 AM on October 31, 2015

In a similar genre don't miss Katering.
posted to MetaFilter by XMLicious at 12:25 PM on September 28, 2015

From my Facebook feed right now:

BOEHNER uses TALKING POINTS!
FRANCIS is unaffected!
FRANCIS uses CATHOLIC GUILT!
It's super effective!
BOEHNER has passed out!

posted to MetaFilter by charred husk at 8:15 AM on September 25, 2015

Hehehe: @DaveStroup: Developing: House Republicans create job.
posted to MetaFilter by zombieflanders at 8:05 AM on September 25, 2015

This. Is fascinating. (please don't miss the this american life episode linked in the article)

I like game show scams/oddities. I have a weird respect for people who crack these systems when, you know, it's a pretty harmless system they're hacking and nobody really gets hurt. I followed the whole Charles Ingram scandal on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. It wasn't a particularly complicated or smart cheat but it was still amazing to watch the whole thing unfold.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by nogoodverybad at 7:36 AM on September 25, 2015

Throw in the towel. Tell people you're sick and don't want to inflict your ailment (whether by infection or just by having to deal with you being sick) on a plane full of strangers and your congregation. They'll understand.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Etrigan at 6:18 AM on September 22, 2015

Sorry for party linking.


posted to MetaTalk by jessamyn at 6:50 PM on September 6, 2015

I had my mom read this article and she said it was stupid and that I don't have to read it.
posted to MetaFilter by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 8:29 AM on September 6, 2015

As a math geek I had to erase a lot, and pens don't let you do that.

Erasing is for math cowards! Best practice here is big arrows with marginal notes such as "NO!!!" and "I AM FULL OF IT" and "THIS WHOLE PAGE IS COMPLETELY FUCKING WRONG"
posted by escabeche at 12:40 PM on August 30
[1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]

The notebook I wrote my dissertation in (with a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Elementary Penguin at 9:44 AM on August 30, 2015

A badger hair brush is all right, for the pikers and fifteen year olds who are cultivating that "did I just have some chocolate milk or is it a mustache look", real men rip the head off the badger (preferably Mauritanian NOT the ones from Brussels, which are actually a kind of non-swimming water rat, think Nutria but unable to swim or even float) and lather that up with some Vendigliani Otrusco, which is a Sicilian emollientie di priapari (lit.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Divine_Wino at 10:54 AM on April 4, 2005

Except in pubs, people seem to form queues spontaneously at shops, cash machines (ATMs) or anywhere else they have to wait.

There's generally a queue in the pub as well, its just an invisible one in everyone's head.

Queuing is definitely part of the national psyche here. People moan about kids not being brought up badly and not queuing properly but that's just kids being kids and it's always happened.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by garius at 5:39 AM on October 22, 2008

The Williams Sonoma near my place is closing (moving to a new "Lifestyle Center") so everything in the store is 20% off. I swung in to pick up some "I see you once every two years and only know you like wine and penguins" type gifts for extended family members. While I was there, I found a set of skull ice cube makers. I figured it'd be fun to make them with my four year old and when I brought them home, he was suitably interested in filling up the ice cube molds and putting... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by robocop is bleeding at 4:31 PM on December 9, 2014

My mom learned to write copperplate primarily so that she could address my wedding invitations. They were beautiful. I, honestly, don't know how anyone has the patience to do such a thing. I wouldn't have wanted to address all the envelops in regular script. She also made 500 sauerkraut balls for the event because OMG I HAD TO HAVE THEM and she didn't want to give her recipe to the caterer or the caterer didn't want to make them. I dunno, but clearly my mom loves me. A lot. I should call her... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by imbri at 6:01 PM on August 23, 2015

In my 20s, when my love affair with Tabasco was in its first bloom, I realized that the glass bottle had a serious defect: in foods you couldn't stir—like, say, a chicken breast—some bites would contain way too much hot sauce and others would contain none.

Clearly, I could come up with a better solution. At the dollar store, I purchased a small spray bottle (the kind stylists use to wet your hair) and painstakingly emptied an entire bottle of Tabasco into it. For lunch,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Ian A.T. at 1:29 PM on August 7, 2015

Nah, you didn't do anything wrong - welcome to the beginning of the US presidential election season! People will read anything political in that frame for the next eighteen months or so - it's not really avoidable.

You're always welcome to use the contact form (link at the bottom of every page) to send us a draft of a post and we'll take a look and give our prognostication for how it's going to go, but political posts will basically always be lively, and twice as much... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by restless_nomad at 4:06 PM on August 5, 2015

I went from the trades to an office, bass ackwards from what you're doing. You know about the office, I'll write about the trades, my experience there.

Start here: If a company is continually working you six days a week, or even five tens a week, they are poorly managed and they don't give a shit about their employees. It doesn't matter how much money you're making if you're always exhausted. And your output will drop; it's a fact. Two weeks, three -- okay, it's a big... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by dancestoblue at 9:02 AM on July 29, 2015 marked best answer

We just had our first son, and he has Down's. Seeing people like Karen and what they can do makes me very hopeful (and less worried) for his future.
posted to MetaFilter by triage_lazarus at 8:12 AM on July 30, 2015

If this is a front-loading machine, step one is to make sure the washing machine is absolutely dead level with all four feet bearing solidly on tile. If there is a lot of vibration, it could be because the machine wasn't set up level again after tiling - and that can make a big difference with front-loading machines.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ssg at 11:25 PM on July 27, 2015 marked best answer

Also from the comments, Glove and Boots test out the Rollie.
posted to MetaFilter by WCWedin at 4:54 AM on July 15, 2015

The vestibule of Heaven. Divine radiance permeates everything, including the billowing clouds underfoot. SAINT PETER has been making notes in a gigantic book resting on a lectern. He rises from his stool to greet BISHOP WINSTRUP.

PETER: My dear Bishop! How glad we are to have you here, in the home of the Blessed! Welcome, a thousand times welcome, come inside, grab a halo and meet The Boss.

WINSTRUP approaches the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Joe in Australia at 12:54 AM on June 22, 2015

This post came about in part because I had some 2nd grade students assembling snap cubes into larger cubes such as a 2x2x2, 3x3x3, and so on. This can actually be a little bit of a puzzle for them because each snap cube has only one post and you have to plan at least a little bit carefully in order to ensure that the whole structure is connected together. I was curious about how many different ways you can orient the snap cubes to get a 3x3x3 cube that is connected, without having any posts... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Wolfdog at 12:27 PM on June 12, 2015

My favorite tattoo story is a story about a friend of mine, who in his youth wanted to get a tattoo of the word "CHANGE" in large, bold font on the inside of his forearm. He got the tattoo in Chinese, even though he did not speak the language, I guess because tattoos in Chinese were trendy among clueless white folks at the time (maybe still are)?

Fast-forward to a couple of weeks later, when he actually ran into someone familiar with the language, and it turns... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by likeatoaster at 2:05 PM on June 11, 2015

I love how they were all so calm about it and I was a bundle of nerves just watching it even though it has already happen and I saw the results of it on stage (or I would have except my power was out during that part... I just assume that Twitter would have let me know if Kelli O'Hara had missed her cue or had a wardrobe malfunction.)

Also FUN HOME!!!

(Similar to when Alison Bechdel was awarded the MacArthur Fellowship, it feels like the musical... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by MCMikeNamara at 1:33 PM on June 8, 2015

Hey, that's my cousin! He is an insanely proficient shredder, wickedly smart, and tenaciously obsessive about the pursuits that grab his attention. I'm a pretty smart guy and an okay musician, but he is another type of creature entirely.

The amount of time and effort he put into this project is really incredible. I don't see him much, and in fact haven't in almost two years now, but he has been working on this for a really long time. (Since he first heard EVH, you might... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by uncleozzy at 7:44 PM on May 29, 2015

[Greg Nog, likeatoaster, [don't ever] cut it out. ]



(with apologies to the original artist!)
posted to MetaTalk by taz at 11:31 PM on May 23, 2015

Nice, to mean precise.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by lollusc at 7:26 AM on May 21, 2015

B-flatulent.
posted to MetaFilter by mrjohnmuller at 11:59 AM on May 18, 2015

Thank you all for your comments. I'm really glad you enjoyed my story, and that you got to "meet" some of my heroes at Revell! And I agree with most of you: Modeling is here to stay.
posted to MetaFilter by Jeffji at 11:54 PM on May 6, 2015

I'LL STEAL IT

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW
posted to MetaFilter by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:12 AM on May 12, 2015

Well, since "kits" got mentioned in the podcast . . . .

BYOC (Build Your Own Clone)

Mammoth Electronics

ModKitsDIY

General Guitar Gadgets

Small Bear Electronics

OLC (Officially Licensed Circuits) - as in licensed kits from the circuits and schematics at runoffgroove.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by soundguy99 at 7:06 PM on April 11, 2015

with some added bits about enthusiastic consent. And maybe stuff about "here's some ways to navigate sex conversations when you have to". Was there anything about that?

Yeah, totally had portions about mutual respect and communication with actual/potential partners. It's just that those are not necessarily the things that stick with a junior high boy. Fortunately, those are kind of baked into the UU experience.

But... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Panjandrum at 12:17 PM on April 17, 2015

damayanti: memorial piece by a relative of John Stump, composer of Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz.
posted to MetaFilter by larrybob at 10:43 AM on April 14, 2015

Are lentils close enough to beans for you? I just learned about mujadara, and it is delicious.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by meese at 7:08 AM on April 8, 2015

his will just look exactly what it would be like to sit in a movie theater in 1977 and watch Star Wars

For that to be completely true, one would have to be driven home afterwards in a forest green AMC Hornet Sportabout with my father weaving back and forth across the road making pew pew noises while my mother stares rigidly out the passenger window taking shallow, measured breaths.
posted to MetaFilter by CynicalKnight at 7:24 AM on April 7, 2015

After one of my ovarian cysts burst (ow), I was told by an ultrasound tech that I have an attractive uterus and an efficient bladder. I can attest to the latter of those two, and I guess I believe her on the former. She was adamant about it.

Of course, this means nothing, unless I'm having a bad day. Then I remind myself that I have an attractive uterus and I shouldn't be so hard on myself. After all, it's what inside that counts.
posted to MetaTalk by doyouknowwhoIam? at 9:56 AM on April 6, 2015

This is a text I sent my brother regarding an exchange with my 10-year-old son (at the time--now eleven.)

A PLAY IN ONE ACT

Scene: Son is reading Atlantic Monthly and laughing hysterically.

Son: mom, what's a sphincter?

Mom: Bumhole.

Son: [laughs even more]

[Mom notes that he's reading about... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by readymade at 5:49 PM on April 5, 2015

Every picture of my father from when I was growing up shows him with one untucked shirttail because of this. And then I married another one. Husband likes the Longtail T shirts, Henleys, and polos from Duluth Trading Company. I've been pleasantly surprised by the quality of the shirts.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by The Elusive Architeuthis at 5:03 PM on April 2, 2015

I played the "who am I" game, where they read a headline and you have to guess who they're talking about. You have to actually write what you want Carl to say, which stumped me for a long time -- I'm not good at that -- but eventually I wrote something like "I'm Carl Kasell. Mary Ellen won me on a radio quiz show, so now I must do her bidding. I'll pass your message along to her as soon as I fetch her a drink and feed her a bonbon." Except I never have figured out a good way... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by sarcasticah at 2:49 PM on March 31, 2015

I designed an official Lego model which you can buy (I don't work for Lego, and I don't mean one of the Lego Ideas models either).

Lego have flown me around the world to build and demo cool models at science shows. I get paid in Lego parts (there is no pleasure greater than a surprise Lego K8 packing box showing up at your door).

I have the very mild superpower of knowing exactly how long it will take to get between two places, and that my wife... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Not on your nellie at 9:06 AM on March 31, 2015

Great thread.

I couldn't talk about much of this for a long time. I was in Afghanistan when the Soviets were there. Trying to train what became Al Qaeda on Stingers. They were all older than me and not paying much attention until a Soviet attack helicopter popped over the mountain and strafed us, killing half. I dropped the trainer and took it down with a real one. I sure had their full attention when the lesson resumed with a smaller class. I had 14 holes in my clothes... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Mr. Yuck at 3:53 AM on March 31, 2015

I sing, all the time, which is okay, but I've never outgrown singing in the bathroom. . . including while peeing, which is super weird. Usually I sing parodies of popular songs like "Some Potty That I Used to Know" or "Urine For What" but I have a made-up song about going to the bathroom that I've sung since I was five that everyone else calls "The Potty Song." I've done it my entire life and do it pretty absent-mindedly, although it's super super embarrassing... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by barchan at 8:12 AM on March 30, 2015

When I was little my mom and dad went on vacation, leaving the German neighbor lady, Uta, to take care of us kids. When she asked us what we wanted for dinner we told her "Buffalo Chips on Toast," for that is what our ever proper mother called it. Uta had no idea. When my mom called to check up on us Uta asked her how to make Buffalo Chips on Toast. Mom explained.
Uta said "Oh! You mean Shit on a Shingle!"
posted to MetaFilter by Floydd at 9:22 AM on March 26, 2015

Dirty Jokes for Grandma? (Caution: has a tear-jearking ending.)
posted to MetaTalk by Melismata at 7:35 AM on March 23, 2015

7. Want your kid to choose apple slices instead of fries at McDonald's? Ask her, "What would Batman choose?"

Every time I ask my daughter that, she thinks for a second and then throws a metal boomerang at a clown's head.
posted to MetaFilter by Harvey Jerkwater at 7:43 AM on March 16, 2015

is there any way that we could resurrect the img tag, but only for Matt?


posted to MetaTalk by mathowie at 4:49 PM on March 5, 2015

I had major surgery during my high school years. Major, life-saving surgery, and coupled with my illness I had a lot of mobility issues while I recovered. I was not provided an elevator key to use afterwards because I "looked fine" and "it wouldn't be fair" to the other students.

I'm sure it was more unfair to make me take the stairs. I was late for every class and got a lot of detention because of it. What? I looked fine. I actually don't think I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by sockermom at 10:09 AM on March 5, 2015

This is highly relevnt to my interests.

I am a cosplayer.

I am not caucasian.

I am not stick thin, nor as (unrealistically) proportioned as some of the charcters I choose to cosplay.

I am also not very tall.

All of the above has caused me to pause, to think will I get flack or even abuse because I am not white/thin/tall/curvey/too curvey in the wrong places?... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Faintdreams at 4:02 AM on March 5, 2015

As suggested by Snow Crash, if we put Reagan on a dollar bill we can call them "Gippers".
posted to MetaFilter by neckro23 at 5:03 AM on March 2, 2015