Ron Jeremy, a not terribly tiny pianist and a harmonica man
September 3, 2014 11:18 AM   Subscribe

Just a 7"? Huh.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:27 AM on September 3, 2014 [7 favorites]

The only time something 7" was attributed to Ron Jeremy.
posted by m@f at 11:27 AM on September 3, 2014

Well, his schtick isn't as lengthy as his, oh nevermind.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:36 AM on September 3, 2014

It's also worth noting that "ron" is the Spanish word for rum. Thus, Ron de Jeremy.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:46 AM on September 3, 2014

But you have to admit that nobody in the 'porn biz' has had as long a ...(pause for laughs)... career as Jeremy.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:51 AM on September 3, 2014

I've been playing the harmonica (sporadically) for 30 years, and I'm still worse than he is.
posted by pipeski at 11:52 AM on September 3, 2014

dude's got a big cock
posted by blue t-shirt at 11:59 AM on September 3, 2014 [9 favorites]

I've been linking to the picture of my Ron-Jeremy-signed underwear in Metafilter Ron Jeremy threads for 10 years now.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:04 PM on September 3, 2014 [3 favorites]

A friend of mine used to have a beagle who either loved or hated when I played "Amazing Grace" on the harmonica. He'd get all fidgety, shifting from one side to the other, snorting and grunting, until finally he'd break into a glorious howl, high and lonesome. I miss that dog.

And Ron Jeremy has faster, surer fingers than I do--and, indeed, I do believe that I overheard Her remarking to that effect--but dude's got absolutely no rhythm.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:19 PM on September 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't think Ron Jeremy deserves anyone's time or attention. Cinema Sewer had a thoroughly well researched piece on how he is a serial rapist, and in looking for that, which I guess is only in print, I found this as well.

Pretty chilling line from his defense against one of the accusations:
"We were friends. How do you rape a friend?"
posted by wyndham at 12:36 PM on September 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Fur Elise, played at hypersonic speeds? I had several high school friends that could do it in their sleep. One guy could play every single Joplin rag really fast without dropping a note, it was his big party trick. I had Fur Elise hammered into my head through lessons and could rip through it too. It's really not that hard.

Now, playing those things well, with nuance and feeling, is a completely different animal.

I'd say Mr. Jeremy had best not quit his day, er, whatever job.
posted by kinnakeet at 12:43 PM on September 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Can I just note that _One-Eyed Monster_ is easily the best movie to feature Ron Jeremy's disembodied penis?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:49 PM on September 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Meanwhile, The Skatalites have a musical treat along the same lines.

And for a while recently, visitors to Gerry's (London's premier booze emporium) on Old Compton Street in Soho had to walk past a stander of Ron Jeremy advertising Ron de Jeremy, a spiced rum. As an example of decadence within decadence, it was hard to beat.
posted by Devonian at 4:55 PM on September 3, 2014

Sorry, Kinnakeet. Though I agree with the spirit of your entire post, this was NOT "Fur Elise" (by Beethoven). It is a little piece of Mozart's first piano sonata, one of the all-time easiest piano pieces, playable after about maybe a year of lessons (for younger beginners, less than that for adults. After that was the mundane and cliche "chopsticks"). Other than that, I think Ron Jeremy is a slimeball.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 8:21 PM on September 3, 2014

Followup for Kinnakeet: I was referring to the third posted link, as far as the name of the piece.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 8:24 PM on September 3, 2014

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