Ron Jeremy, a not terribly tiny pianist and a harmonica man

September 3, 2014 11:18 AM

If you heard about the 7" record released for Record Store Day, "Understanding and Appreciating Classical Music with Ron Jeremy," you know Ron Jeremy plays piano with some level of proficiency and flair, and you could probably guess that he throws some crass humor into his act (yes, that's his favorite classical music/pianist joke, he drops it a lot). Ron f*cknig Jeremy also blows the harmonica (NSFW words and vaguely unsafe images), and shares his love of Christian worship music with a fairly rough rendition of Amazing Grace on the harmonica.

After he signed a fan's chest (in a mostly SFW fashion), he played You Are My Sunshine and performed a rocking/rocky rendition of Oh Suzanna with the Sin City Sinners.

But if you wanted some funky, sleezy porn music with Ron Jeremy introducing the compilation, you're probably looking for Pornosonic (Wikipedia).

posted by filthy light thief (17 comments total)

Just a 7"? Huh.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:27 AM on September 3, 2014 [7 favorites]

The only time something 7" was attributed to Ron Jeremy.
posted by m@f at 11:27 AM on September 3, 2014

Well, his schtick isn't as lengthy as his, oh nevermind.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:36 AM on September 3, 2014

It's also worth noting that "ron" is the Spanish word for rum. Thus, Ron de Jeremy.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:46 AM on September 3, 2014

But you have to admit that nobody in the 'porn biz' has had as long a ...(pause for laughs)... career as Jeremy.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:51 AM on September 3, 2014

I've been playing the harmonica (sporadically) for 30 years, and I'm still worse than he is.
posted by pipeski at 11:52 AM on September 3, 2014

dude's got a big cock
posted by blue t-shirt at 11:59 AM on September 3, 2014 [9 favorites]

I've been linking to the picture of my Ron-Jeremy-signed underwear in Metafilter Ron Jeremy threads for 10 years now.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:04 PM on September 3, 2014 [3 favorites]

A friend of mine used to have a beagle who either loved or hated when I played "Amazing Grace" on the harmonica. He'd get all fidgety, shifting from one side to the other, snorting and grunting, until finally he'd break into a glorious howl, high and lonesome. I miss that dog.

And Ron Jeremy has faster, surer fingers than I do--and, indeed, I do believe that I overheard Her remarking to that effect--but dude's got absolutely no rhythm.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:19 PM on September 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

He was also an extra in Ghostbusters.
posted by maxsparber at 12:23 PM on September 3, 2014

I don't think Ron Jeremy deserves anyone's time or attention. Cinema Sewer had a thoroughly well researched piece on how he is a serial rapist, and in looking for that, which I guess is only in print, I found this as well.

Pretty chilling line from his defense against one of the accusations:
"We were friends. How do you rape a friend?"
posted by wyndham at 12:36 PM on September 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Fur Elise, played at hypersonic speeds? I had several high school friends that could do it in their sleep. One guy could play every single Joplin rag really fast without dropping a note, it was his big party trick. I had Fur Elise hammered into my head through lessons and could rip through it too. It's really not that hard.

Now, playing those things well, with nuance and feeling, is a completely different animal.

I'd say Mr. Jeremy had best not quit his day, er, whatever job.
posted by kinnakeet at 12:43 PM on September 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Can I just note that _One-Eyed Monster_ is easily the best movie to feature Ron Jeremy's disembodied penis?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:49 PM on September 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm not clicking anything in that post. Just too many flavors of wrong all mixed up in one paragraph. However I thought I would share this.

Bull Moose Jackson - "Big Ten Inch Record."

Also recorded by Aerosmith.
posted by spitbull at 3:01 PM on September 3, 2014

Meanwhile, The Skatalites have a musical treat along the same lines.

And for a while recently, visitors to Gerry's (London's premier booze emporium) on Old Compton Street in Soho had to walk past a stander of Ron Jeremy advertising Ron de Jeremy, a spiced rum. As an example of decadence within decadence, it was hard to beat.
posted by Devonian at 4:55 PM on September 3, 2014

Sorry, Kinnakeet. Though I agree with the spirit of your entire post, this was NOT "Fur Elise" (by Beethoven). It is a little piece of Mozart's first piano sonata, one of the all-time easiest piano pieces, playable after about maybe a year of lessons (for younger beginners, less than that for adults. After that was the mundane and cliche "chopsticks"). Other than that, I think Ron Jeremy is a slimeball.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 8:21 PM on September 3, 2014

Followup for Kinnakeet: I was referring to the third posted link, as far as the name of the piece.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 8:24 PM on September 3, 2014