2016's best video (foreign language, with monkey)
April 7, 2016 3:31 PM   Subscribe

Turn off the "Upload videos" link, Google, because the best video of the year has already been uploaded! Its summary reads like a penmanship exercise: Russian farmer monkey in a snowsuit & mittens visits his pet goats and hens. [SLYT]

I suppose I could verify what my hearts wants to believe -- namely, that this is the same crew, previously seen here on the Blue in 2008 -- but honestly, I just don't want to ruin that lovely dream with facts.

As always with YouTube links -- and especially here -- DON'T READ THE COMMENTS.
posted by wenestvedt (36 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
what
posted by zardoz at 3:33 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


Be sure to turn on the auto-translation. It explains everything.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:41 PM on April 7, 2016 [13 favorites]


Jesus you wouldn't need much of a budget to film a horror movie 'round their house.
posted by howfar at 3:46 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


"CEC protocol"? Whoo, boy.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:55 PM on April 7, 2016


DON'T READ THE COMMENTS

I read the comments, Ray!
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:56 PM on April 7, 2016 [17 favorites]


After the humans and monkey leave, the goat leans over to the chickens and says, "Primates are so freakin' WEIRD."
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:56 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Looks like they just want to get closer to that space heater. Also did they stuff it's tail down it's pants? That's like binding a limb for a monkey. I always thought Friends was stupid because an NYC apartment is a crazy place for a pet monkey. Besides, monkeys aren't pets, they're more like acrobatic toddlers.
posted by adept256 at 4:15 PM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Relevant.
posted by erebora at 4:19 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


It looks like Russian IKEA Monkey.

ИКЕА Monkey.
posted by Itaxpica at 4:22 PM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


adept256: Also did they stuff it's tail down it's pants?

Actually, in the opening sequence (which made me laugh tears), you can see a long gray tail hanging out the back of the snowsuit as it trucks across the year to the barn.

I love this Russian farmer monkey the way Kristen Bell loves sloths.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:24 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Itaxpica, I think you mean икя.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:25 PM on April 7, 2016


Old Monk Donald had a farm
Ook-Ook-Ook-Ook-Ook
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:35 PM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


Incidentally, Foreign Language With Monkey is the name of my new band.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:45 PM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Hey now, Papa Gateau loves his monkeys, loves his Russians, and loves his farming. But that winter shit's gotta go.
posted by lometogo at 4:57 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Russian Curious George is weird.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 5:28 PM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


I would like a helper monkey who gets excited to go visit his animal friends. I think I would name him Klaus.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 5:45 PM on April 7, 2016


Well, that looks like a rhesus macaque (if it's not a rhesus, it's definitely a macaque of some sort). Let me tell you a little bit about macaques.

They generally live in large, complex social groups - groups up to 180 individuals in the wild! They have a bunch of interesting and complicated behaviors, with strict dominance hierarchies. Both males and females spend a lot of time socializing, including lots of grooming in these amazing social networks. Rhesus macaques are typically found in tropical rainforests in southern Asia.

Here is what a happy group of wild rhesus macaques look like
. You may notice things like ... their ability to walk around and bend their limbs because they're not on a Russian farm in the middle of winter forced into a snowsuit that impedes their movement. The babies socializing. Females grooming babies. The lack of animal cruelty?
posted by ChuraChura at 5:48 PM on April 7, 2016 [24 favorites]


After translating the video's title, I see that these are actually crab-eating macaques (for some reason, they're often called Cynomalgus monkeys when they're used for biomedical research purposes). They are very closely related to rhesus monkeys - lots of social and behavioral similarities - but they live around Thailand. They're very smart. They live in large social groups with female matrilines. They've been show to behave altruistically, even towards non-kin. The point still stands: they don't belong in a snow suit on a Russian farm.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:58 PM on April 7, 2016 [11 favorites]


Where is the proletariat in the big yellow hat?
posted by blueberry at 6:26 PM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Be sure to turn on the auto-translation. It explains everything.

It's like a Russian Bad Lip Reading video.
posted by briank at 6:31 PM on April 7, 2016


Where is the proletariat in the big yellow hat?

He's arguing with another through false motives that $15/hr is too much for minumum wage and in the military they only make $9/hr.

Oh wait, that's here.
posted by P.o.B. at 6:38 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


ChuraChura, thank you for that: knowing that the monkey is from a gregarious species might help explain why it's drawn to the other animals.

And while I certainly don't condone people keeping wild animals as pets -- especially those from tropical zones forcibly removed to a life on the damn steppes -- I admit I do find the little be-snowsuited creature to be quite adorable. (I'm probably a monster.)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:13 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Nah, you're not a monster. I just wish more people thought this was cuter than sad pet monkeys.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:57 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


the sad monkeys are so cute, but it's the sadness that makes them extra cute and I could do without it all.
posted by zutalors! at 8:01 PM on April 7, 2016


Awww! They're like baby The Masters.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:01 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Saw this on Reddit last week. Felt quite sad for the little chap and suspect he's not entirely happy being dressed up.
posted by DZ-015 at 4:21 AM on April 8, 2016


wenestvedt: "Itaxpica, I think you mean икя."
Uh, no. That would be Ik-Ya.

ИКЕА is the registered name in Russia.
posted by brokkr at 5:32 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh! Thank you; I did not know that. /Johnny_Carson

(I guess I really needed more than three weeks of summer school to master that alphabet. *sigh* Wasted weeks for a 16-year old...)
posted by wenestvedt at 5:39 AM on April 8, 2016


Wasted weeks for a 16-year old

Dude, I've wasted years over a 16-year-old ...

Scotch, your honor. I was talking about Scotch.
posted by oheso at 6:08 AM on April 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Be sure to turn on the auto-translation. It explains everything.

Thanks for the tip. At 0:44, I'm getting:

"Thank 5"

"but still gave up a bone on business"

"Print began Commission"


*nods sagely*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:06 AM on April 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


The opening is a Tamarian haiku:

In the period when he went forward
on the agenda in the village barn
at night film debut

posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:15 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


In the period when he went forward
on the agenda in the village barn
at night film debut


...That's when the ice weasels come.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:30 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


You may want to check the other videos uploaded by Fedya's owner. It appears that besides goats and chickens, that Russian family seems to own a few dogs, a baby lion and a pretty young leopard. The monkey joyfully interacts with both.
posted by susuman at 9:56 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I guess I just fundamentally don't understand what is amusing or joyful about have a wild monkey on a leash that plays with a "pet" lion and leopard?
posted by ChuraChura at 10:23 AM on April 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


I guess I just fundamentally don't understand what is amusing or joyful about have a wild monkey on a leash that plays with a "pet" lion and leopard?

And if there's anything I've learned from Big Cat Rescue's youtube channel is that they're not to be trusted.

Oh, and also that organizations like them have to exist because people think the cats are suitable pets and/or that they're personally equipped to keep them as pets.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:35 PM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


they're not to be trusted

Ha, I love how the cats in that video are all "What? Oh hey. Hey bro. You're cool. Scritch? No? Okay. Okay man." when the guy turns around mid stalk.
posted by zutalors! at 12:51 PM on April 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


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