In 1994, she [as Surgeon General of the United States] was invited to speak at a United Nations conference on AIDS. She was asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, and she replied, "I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught." This remark caused great controversy and resulted in Elders losing the support of the White House. [...]
I've always kind of been partial to calling myself up on the phone and asking myself out. You know. Well, one thing about it, you're always around! Yeah, you ask yourself out, you know. Some class joint somewhere. The Burrito King or something. Well, I ain't cheap, you know. Take yourself out for a couple of drinks maybe, you know. Then some provocative conversation on the way home . . . invite yourself inside and put a little nice music on, you know, like shopping music, something that's not too interruptive . . . Maybe it's not that romantic with you . . .
Well, usually about 2.30 in the morning you've ended up taking advantage of yourself and -- there ain't no way around that, you know. Yeah, making the scene with a magazine, I'll confess, I'm no different, you know. I ain't weird about it or nuthin' -- I don't tie myself up first, I just -- you know. I just kind of -- spend a little time with myself. So this is kind of a little anthem here . . ."
-- Tom Waits, "Better Off Without A Wife"
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