No more sexually charged games of baccarat with the Provost’s wife!

April 12, 2018 8:21 AM

A skit by Jared Neumark and Dan Chamberlain “YOUR DAYS OF PRIVATE YACHTS ARE OVER.”
posted by The Whelk (10 comments total)

I wish everybody spoke like this, but

...would that it were so simple.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:34 AM on April 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

genuine lol at piggie
posted by lalochezia at 8:43 AM on April 12, 2018

Reeling out that monologue is no doubt very difficult, but harder still is remaining stooped over, back turned, listening to it without corpsing.
posted by chavenet at 9:01 AM on April 12, 2018 [6 favorites]

The whole monogram section was perfect.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:02 AM on April 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

That is a high quality Orson Welles voice. Maurice Lamarche, your days of living off that impression are at an end. No more talk of taking over the world for you. No more ponderous ponderings over what Pinky is Pondering. No more frozen peas. No more Masson wines. You’ll have to go back to pronouncing your R sounds...
posted by wabbittwax at 9:14 AM on April 12, 2018 [8 favorites]

> That is a high quality Orson Welles voice.

ahhhhAHahhh
posted by CheapB at 9:49 AM on April 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

And, of course, because I'm like twelve years old.
posted by Naberius at 10:05 AM on April 12, 2018

...and, of course, where from the pea-ness came
posted by CheapB at 10:08 AM on April 12, 2018

I wonder if there is a transcript so if I ever catch any one embezzling I'll have something cool to say!
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:55 AM on April 12, 2018

No, not a Grade A Orson Welles (Maurice has nothing to fear), but a solid non-cartoony authoritative voice from a cartoony-looking character (what's with that belt?).

Not to insert Politics Thread stuff where it doesn't belong, but I can just imagine Robert Mueller giving the same monologue to Donald Trump only to realize (PUNCHLINE SPOILER) that it's Alec Baldwin.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:38 PM on April 12, 2018