Experience Something
January 6, 2019 4:50 PM   Subscribe

If the idea of a German Sparkle Party fills you with anticipatory glee instead of unholy terror, you may like The Something Experience. (If it does not fill you with glee, it is recommended that you not click on the links in this post.) After your sparkle party, you may wish to have a Boys Nite In to celebrate all your new friends--just keep reminding them that I Like Technology (Better than you).
posted by ErisLordFreedom (21 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
What did you just do to my brain
posted by twoplussix at 5:21 PM on January 6

As one of ze resident Germans, let me just say that right now (before clicking on any of those links) the unholy terror definitely outweighs the glee
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 5:26 PM on January 6 [5 favorites]

It's just Mike Myers in disguise (again) with a revival of his SNL "Sprockets" sketches. (Although the 'feeding a ram chip' bit in 'Technology' was a bit they did in the early seasons of MST3K... there's nothing new anymore)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:39 PM on January 6 [1 favorite]

I am not funny enough to successfully comment in this thread. Oh schnitzel!
posted by Oyéah at 6:30 PM on January 6

I just walked into a room of teenagers whom I suspect are stoned. I flipped the Xbox to YouTube, searched up and played German Sparkle Party, and left the room. The incredulous wtfery is hysterical. I owe you a beer, Eris.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 6:39 PM on January 6 [20 favorites]

OK I'm going to try to give this a shot: It's King Missile, but they're faux-German, they had a sudden glam phase, and they had Tim & Eric produce all of their music videos.
posted by Room 101 at 6:56 PM on January 6 [4 favorites]

I wish I had the kind of friends who would be German Sparkle Party for Halloween with me.
posted by emjaybee at 7:06 PM on January 6 [7 favorites]

I do like to party party as it happens!
posted by capricorn at 7:11 PM on January 6 [1 favorite]

Not trying to be all 'before it was cool', but the best thing about being introduced to the 'Sparkle Party' concept was it leading me to the incredibly fabulous Hard Ton. Work That Body!
posted by prismatic7 at 7:12 PM on January 6 [3 favorites]

rubber boots and party pants!
(there's a mefi name for the taking)

it's like Devo meets German 80s techno meets Gary Glitter
posted by kokaku at 7:19 PM on January 6 [1 favorite]

Boys, boys, boys...a single stalk of asparagus planted like a flagpole in a small hill of marshmallows does not an appetizer make!
posted by amanda at 8:19 PM on January 6

...remember that summer when dad would spend every weekend or so down at the local public access cable studio?
posted by not_on_display at 8:58 PM on January 6 [1 favorite]

It's King Missile doing a variation of "Schnitzelbank" with the rhythm of "I Feel Love."

Got a good beat and I can dance to it, I give it an 85, Dick.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:03 PM on January 6 [3 favorites]

Let's sexually assault the squares until they have no choice bt to participate!
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 2:13 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]

I literally know humans who have held an actual German Sparkle Party. In their house. With themed appetizers. And the song on repeat. And everyone wearing costumes.

I was unable to go, but I hear it was pretty fun.
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 2:35 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]

posted by seanmpuckett at 3:21 AM on January 7

I wish I had the kind of friends who would be German Sparkle Party for Halloween with me.
posted by emjaybee.

Girl, I’m just down the road. 😜
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:35 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]

Hehehe. So this reminded me vaguely of this faux-German, very sprocket-y Austin band... I got dragged to their shows once or twice because some of them are friends-of-friends in ways I never fully mapped out... So I took it upon myself to search my email for "German Sparkle Party"...

And, because apparently I enjoy curling up in a little cringy ball of embarrassment, and for your enjoyment, here's an email from 2016.

[They're in fact about as German as Dana Carvey and Christopher Walken, but for some reason that doesn't make ze pain go away... Vatever, whee! Sparkles.]
Subject: German Sparkle Party May 26th ABGB 9:30 pm

Fröetzel Friends,

Hallo. If you can read zee subject line zen you know what vis emails is about. Yes? Great! Zen I don't need say it again. Fine, I will because I know your brains are only thinking about weekend Pilsner drinks and hot dog sausages. So for those who ride zee slow bus to school, Fröetzel is making music beats on May 26th at zee ABGB. Vis will be zee German Sparkle Party so prepare accordingly vith zee traditions and regulations of ze common German Sparkle Party. Violators vill be prosecuted to full extent of ze law.

Internet web portal - https://www.facebook.com/events/549877131858931/

In oser news, Fröetzel will be doing some radio spots for the upcoming Texas German Bier Festival that ve are performing on June 4th (http://www.txgermanbierfestival.com/). We will inform you ven to tune in ven ve know ze time Fröetzel will hit ze air waves. If you look up to ze sky and it is raining sparkles zen you have missed it.

Fröetzel was asked to submit bio by zee radio station vich we can only imagine is for zee researchers and historians to put in zee archives. Ven zee futures comes zee children will be able to see zee story of Fröetzel on zee microfiche. Howevers, I have inserted zee Fröetzel bio belos just in case City Hall is burned down by disgruntled Uber drivers and all ze records are lost. You may say, Oh Helmut dis is so much for me to reads it makes eyes tired and me want to go sleepy time but I don't even have ze jammies on. Vell boo hoos. Perhaps, if you readz more you will soon ride regular speed bus to school.

XOXOVXO - Fröetzel

Fröetzel Biö

Current Members
Helmut Mannschaft – Person in ze front
Kaiser Wilhelm Forte – Keyboards/Keytar
Friedrich “Free Love” Lowe – Guitar
Reinhold Fiedler – Guitar
Jodi von Kräänkenhöggen – Bass
Das Hammer - Drums

Internet - https://www.facebook.com/Froetzel-110263389090690/

Contact email froetzelband@gmail.com

Fröetzel arose from ze streets of Bavaria where zey schpent seir formative years constructing and deconstructing ze renowned Munich underground techno/rock/dance scene of ze 1990’s. But do not make sie mistake, if one ver to investigates for evidence of zis fabled alternative music scene and its architect Fröetzel, one vould find nosings. For its undergroundness was without bottom and ze destruction was thorough.

In ze years sat did following not much vas heard from Fröetzel on ze music front. Howevers, zey did sweep ze 2007 European Table Tennis Championships held in Belgrade. Unfortunately, Fröetzel ver immediately stripped of all ze titles due to excessively shiny outfits and long bouts of dancing in between points. Currently Fröetzel is serving a lifetime ban from all European Table Tennis Union (ETTU) events and social gatherings.

Around ze summer of 2008 Fröetzel shifted seir focus avay from Table Tennis and back to making music beats for ze people. It was at zis time Fröetzel vas becoming experts in ze Internet surfing and vanted to go to a place vere seir music vas needed. With town names like Fredericksburg, Schulenburg, and New Braunfels Fröetzel believed central Texas may be ze best place to make start. The icing on ze frosting was a rumored super highway of vater vays called das Schlitterbahn. Fröetzel caught passage on ze nearest U-boat and made vay for ze Gulf coast.

For ze last couple of years Fröetzel has made home camp in South Austin playing local venues and events. Sie are experts in ze German Sparkle Parties (commonly held at the ABGB) and have played many off SXSW showkase events. Fröetzel iz hard to make definiton and its influences are plentiful like hamburger patties on Big Mac sandwich. Easy komparisons could be made of Monty Python slash Falco or Spinal Tap meets Sprockets. In sie reality, Fröetzel prefers if you don’t sink too hard about it and just maken ze dance moves. Fröetzel may have tongue planted firmly in cheek. Whose cheek and what cheek is hard to determine at times. Fröetzel is a party in your pants and your pants underneath your pants. And zat should be enough.

posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 8:54 AM on January 7 [4 favorites]

Dammit! Kevin Nealon, not Christopher Walken. Don't know what I was sinking.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 9:05 AM on January 7

I'm too sexy for this post
posted by not_on_display at 7:26 PM on January 7 [3 favorites]

It's King Missile doing a variation of "Schnitzelbank" with the rhythm of "I Feel Love."

It's nothing like I Feel Love, but the KM/Schnitzelbank part is exactly accurate. And yes, it has a good beat. Dancing happened unwillingly.
posted by hippybear at 11:51 PM on January 7 [2 favorites]

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